
Penelope Cruz bikini pics!
Penelope Cruz in St. Bart's (Jan. 07)

Penélope Cruz
Penélope Cruz at the Los Angeles premiere of Vicky Cristina Barcelona at the Mann Village Theatre (8/4)
NOTE: 16 more Penelope Cruz pics on PAGE 2 (CLICK HERE)
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Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem
Here's Penélope Cruz vacationing with Spanish actor Javier Bardem in the Maldives earlier this week. You may recognize Penélope from her critically acclaimed role as "Girlfriend" in Tom Cruise's life from 2001-2004. "What an unbelievable performance--I barely knew she was acting." - New York Times, 2003.
CLICK HERE for more pics of Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem vacationing in the Maldives...

Here's the more famous of the Cruz sisters, Penélope, lounging around a pool in Ibiza yesterday. Do celebrities piss in the pool like regular people? Judging by that look on Penélope's face, the answer is quite clearly, yes.

Josh Hartnett is probably banging Penelope Cruz. The two were spotted at the Little Door restaurant in Los Angeles acting like a couple of high-schoolers. A source told the New York Daily News:
"They were touchy-feely all night, holding hands and kissing." (Source)
Just because Josh and Penelope were all "touchy-feely" doesn't mean they're a couple. My fourth grade teacher used to get all "touchy-feely" with me and I definitely didn't consider her to be my girlfriend. And the jury didn't either, using terms like "predator" and "child-rapist." I swear, juries can be so dramatic sometimes!

Remember the story earlier in the week about Orlando Bloom and Penélope Cruz flirting "outrageously" with each other at an Oscars pre-party? The first line of the story was something along the lines of "Orlando Bloom and Penélope Cruz probably had sex Sunday night." Well guess what? Orlando Bloom and Penélope Cruz definitely had sex Sunday night. They were seen at Prince's post Oscar party taking the earlier flirting one step further:
"Penélope and Orlando couldn't keep their hands off one another - they were making out the whole night," says a witness. "It was crazy! Touching, kissing - even a little bit of groping. And in view of tons of actors, too, like Leonardo DiCaprio and Ryan Gosling." (Source)
Wow, was this witness describing Prince's party or my last family reunion? The touching, kissing, and groping--it's uncanny! You get a couple beers into Uncle Frank and suddenly the line between friend and family gets awfully blurry. And don't bother asking how I got Leo and Ryan to come to my family reunion. My violent death threats pretty smile and gentle demeanor tend to open doors in this industry.

Orlando Bloom and Penelope Cruz probably had sex Sunday night. Hate to be so blunt about it but sometimes I like to get the point of a story without all the extraneous bullshit. The two were seen flirting “outrageously” at an Academy Awards pre-party. And as we know kids, outrageous flirting almost always leads to outrageous sex. A source told the U.K.’s Daily Mirror:
"Orlando and Penelope were playing pool and flirting outrageously. Penelope seemed more than a little smitten and afterwards they retired to a corner for a couple of drinks - they couldn't keep their hands off each other.” (Source)
Never been much of a flirting man myself. I think it comes from my Dad. I love the guy to death but man could he be crude sometimes. He used to always tell me “Son, if you’re flirting, you’re not penetrating.” “But Dad,” I used to counter, “the only thing these prisses are into is oral.” My Mom slapped me when she heard that, saying it was inappropriate language for a sixth grader. Whatever.
Some pics of Penelope at the Oscars after the jump...