Star Magazine is reporting that Paula Abdul was a total bitch on a recent Southwest flight from San Jose to Burbank, California. According to an eyewitness:
“[Paula] asked to be let on the plane and seated first,” but after she was told that only young children, people with disabilities and the elderly were allowed to board early, she reportedly declared, “But I’m famous! I need to go on first!”
Once boarding began, Abdul pushed her way in front of the rest of the passengers so that she did get on first, and tried to keep the seat next to her empty, telling others it was taken. Finally, a flight attendant told her she had to give up the seat because the flight was full. Abdul kept her head bowed and reportedly was “twitchy” during much of the trip. (Source)
Paula Abdul's grievous treatment aboard this Southwest flight is a great example of why I quit flying commercial years ago. You know what happened the last time I asked a flight attendant for a foot rub? She laughed at me. And then she had the gall to pepper spray me because I "allegedly" spit on her. The team of butlers aboard my Lear Jet would never do that! They also make a killer ice cream sundae topped with the blood of my enemies. Well not really but it's still damn tasty.
Like me, you probably missed Paula Abdul's Monday appearance on The Late Show With David Letterman (sexily posted above). Fear not faithful readers, you didn't miss much--except when Paula made fun of nemesis Simon Cowell's penis:
Letterman asked Abdul, "You honestly hate Simon, don't you? He's smug and he's arrogant. And he thinks you want to have sexual activities with him,"
Abdul responded, "You are right about that. But that will never happen - because his nickname is 'Small Ben.'" (Source)
y nickname used to be 'Small Ben' ... when I was seven! But then puberty took over and I've been splittin' pelvises ever since. Incidentally, that last sentence was taken word for word off one of my campaign flyers from back in '98 when I ran for mayor of Sexyville. Population: me.
Us Magazine is reporting that Courtney Love was recently contacted by American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe to gauge her interest in appearing as a judge on the popular show. Though the specifics are unknown, a source told Usmagazine.com that Lythgoe was considering having Love "replace Paula." According to Love:
"He called. He was wondering if I was interested. I thought it was kind of weird but brilliant."
American Idol reps could not immediately be reached for comment.
I'd assume the only reason they'd ever want to replace Paula is because of her recent quirky behavior. Which makes these rumors about Courtney all the more confusing. This bitch's middle name is quirky behavior. Sure I'm pissed my cat's been scratching up the couch lately, but I'm not gonna go replace it with a mountain lion.
An eBay auction for a day with American Idol judge Paula Abdul was removed after it received exactly zero bids:
Fox TV executives had hoped for a bidding war over the VIP package, which included two first-class tickets to Los Angeles, a $2,225 shopping spree, and a backstage meeting with the star. The auction was intended to raise money for multiple sclerosis charities, but the $26,000 asking price proved such a deterrent that the listing was removed from the site after four days. An eBay spokesperson says, "This sort of charity auction usually makes a mint. It's kind of sad that nobody wanted to bid on Paula."
$26,000 for day with Paula Abdul? And they're surprised no one bid on it? I wouldn't even pay $26,000 for a week with Paula Abdul…….actually I might. Just replace "Paula Abdul" with "truckload of bilingual big-breasted prostitutes." Why bilingual? Because, my friend, you haven't lived until a hooker calls you 'huge' in two different languages.
