Paula Abdul


Paula Abdul heading to Beso restaurant in West Hollywood (6/26)

Paula Abdul announced on her Twitter late yesterday that she will not be returning for the 9th season of American Idol:
With sadness in my heart, I’ve decided not to return to IDOL. I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all . . . I’ll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all being a part of a show that I helped from day1become an international phenomenon . . . What I want to say most, is how much I appreciate the undying support and enormous love that you have showered upon me . . . It truly has been breathtaking, especially over the past month . . . I do without any doubt have the BEST fans in the entire world and I love you all.
Fox released a statement which confirmed Paula's departure:
"Paula Abdul has been an important part of the American Idol family over the last eight seasons and we are saddened that she has decided not to return to the show. While Paula will not be continuing with us, she's a tremendous talent and we wish her the best."
Don't be sad for Paula. She told E! that she already has a job lined up as one of the people that hang out at intersections and beg for change. "Former vet. Any money or prescription drugs would be appreciated. God bless."

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Paula Abdul thinks she's important

Paula Abdul thinks very highly of herself . . . which tends to happen when you're high all the freaking time. From the National Enquirer:
Paula Abdul was in diva mode as she and a male friend dined at West Hollywood's Sushi Roku on April 14. Despite the fact that no fans approached her during her meal, Paula demanded a private dining room halfway through the dinner, leaving the wait staff shrugging their shoulders and rolling their eyes. (Print Edition - 5/4)
Paula's right. She does deserve her own room . . . as long as it's padded. Can you really blame her though for wanting her privacy? It can be pretty embarrassing emptying your entire medicine cabinet on the dinner table in front of people you don't even know. If Paula really wants her own space to ingest illegal substances at a restaurant, she should just use the celebrity VIP area (aka, the bathroom stall).

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Top 10 Bad Hollywood Boob Jobs

by Dan the Celebman

Nothing makes shallow celebs happier than a stiff injection of saline solution. But just like with Kevin Costner's acting career, things sometimes go horribly wrong.

NOTE: Make sure you click through the gallery for individual comments under each picture.

  • Thumbnail: 10. Audrina Patridge. The Hills has a lot to answer for. This MTV-produced bucket of rotting fish bait was thrust upon our small screens in 2006. Audrina has probably had breast implants, as they look perkier and significantly larger than they used to. However, we forgive her; any girl’s boobs would droop in the presence of Spencer Pratt.
  • Thumbnail: 9. Jewel. Jewel’s musical career has been declining in recent years. A boob job can usually help fix a performer’s esteem at least for the foreseeable future. Unless that boob job leaves you with some bizarre wrinkles that look like your granny’s forehead when she is frowning as you try to explain to her what bukkake is.
  • Thumbnail: 8. Jenna Jameson. Well it’s no surprise to find Jenna on this list. Jenna’s boobs were once a 32DD and currently come in at a more petite 32C. At one point, her boobs looked like they were made from Play-Doh; You could definitely see Tommy Lee’s handprint there. And a bit of his arm (what do you mean that’s not his arm... oh... Wow!).
  • Thumbnail: 7. Paula Abdul. I think it was just wrong of Simon Cowell to put Paula in a microwave. That’s what he did you know. Look at her. She looks like a prune with all the juice sucked out of her. If she got bitten by a vampire she would just explode like a piƱata full of dust. Her boobs look like she uses them to weigh vegetables by hooking a balance on nipple rings. Yuck.
  • Thumbnail: 6. Vivica Fox. Vivica Fox had such a bad boob job that “Vivicas” is now a term used to describe breasts that have hardened breast implants. Really, check the Urban Dictionary. Vivica played a hardened killer in Kill Bill Vol 1. No doubt she put her newfound skills to use by pounding the butcher who shoved an old pair of sandals in her chest cavity.
  • Thumbnail: 5. Donatella Versace. The horror, the horror. She’s making my eyes bleed, please, put me out of my misery.
  • Thumbnail: 4. Pamela Anderson. The queen of the boob job. There was a point when Pammy’s breasts were so large that astronauts could seem them from outer space (or rather the dust that collected on top of them). Her boobs have been chopped up so much that her nipples are practically falling off. Pammy is so plastic that when she dies it will take 1,000 years for her body to decompose.
  • Thumbnail: 3. Victoria Beckham. It was hard not to put Victoria in first place, her boobs are not just bad, they’re actually hilarious. Apparently she had them spaced like that deliberately to remind her of home, specifically, the English Channel. At some points, the English Channel is only 21 miles wide, just a bit slimmer than Overtanned Spice’s cleavage. Seriously, are they boobs or neoplastic benign tumors growing out from her armpits from frying her skin too much?
  • Thumbnail: 2. Tori Spelling. Tori is an evil genius. Bad boob job? Of course, but have you seen her face? We’re all too busy staring at her mammary glands to actually realize that Tori looks like that guy you keep seeing down at the market who has nice legs and boobs, but you are sure he is a guy because of his huge hands and chin (and moustache). And you worry because you keep getting a bit of a chubby when you see him/her. But you also secretly like it. You want the man/woman/beast don’t you? And Tori knows that
  • Thumbnail: 1. Tara Reid. Way to go Tara, not easy to push Tori into 2nd place. Remember Tara in “American Pie”? She was cute, sexy, and incredibly hot. Fast forward 10 years and tell me if you had a choice between Tara Reid and a meat grinder, which you’d take home to introduce to your parents? Tara’s boob job is so nasty that she was once used by NASA to scare away a potential alien invasion. The extra-terrestrials took one look at those Hellish mounds and beat a hasty retreat. She is an all-American hero.

Paula Abdul might get her own talk show

Paula Abdul wants to launch her own daytime talk show. Can you say female version of The Magic Hour? Please. Let. This. Happen. The American Idol cohost has already held talks with CBS and it's rumored the show could debut this year. A source close to the star told the National Enquirer.
"Paula's been dreaming about having her own talk show for three years, and she's ready to make it a reality . . . And if she does get her [American Idol] contract demands, Paula will attempt to negotiate a clause that states she can have other projects, including a talk show, and will juggle both. Paula is unpredictable and not afraid to speak her mind — but she also leads from the heart and really connects with people. Studio execs feel those are the kind of personal attributes that would make her perfect for a daytime talk show." (Source)
Paula thinks she deserves her own talk show? There's only one type of program she should take part in this year . . . and it involves 12 steps. Actually, Paula might be onto something. For all of you out there that think watching a drunk, drugged-out, incoherent Paula slurring her words for an hour on T.V would never be successful, I've got two words for you: Ozzie Osbourne.

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Would You Rather?

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