Since the Arnold Schwarzenegger scandal broke last month, Patty Baena has been noticeably quiet about her affair with the former governor of California. That all changed this week ($$$$$$$) when she and love child Joseph did a photoshoot ($$$$$$$) and interview ($$$$$$$) for HELLO! magazine:
"It was as Joseph grew and I started to see the resemblance that I wondered - but It became more apparent as time went on."
You know what made it especially apparent? WHEN HE FUCKED YOU WITHOUT A CONDOM.
"I knew Arnold was the father, and maybe as Joseph got older and began to look like him, he [Arnold] wondered. But he never said anything to me."
A gentleman would never broach such a topic with a lady.
"[Maria] would say things like, 'I'm here if you need to talk.' I sensed something was up. I have so much love and respect for Maria."
Well yeah, clearly. For those people you don't respect -- do you fuck their husbands, too?
"Finally, she asked point blank. She was so strong. She cried with me and told me to get off my knees. We held each other and I told her it wasn't Arnie's fault, that it takes two."
I don't think you had to remind her that you're a whore.
"[Arnold's] a good man and I know he's suffering too. He loves Maria. I hope with time they work things out."
Someone help me out here. Is "Maria" the Spanish word for "anything with a pussy"?
Since news broke last week that Arnold Schwarzenegger knocked up THAT THING, the story has been that she retired from her housekeeper position on amicable terms this January. C'mon, did you really think it'd be that easy? From the New York Daily News:
Arnold Schwarzenegger's baby mama had hoped to stay in her housekeeping job at the "Terminator" star's family home through 2015, according to a source. When the affair was still a secret, Mildred "Patty" Baena had no immediate plans to quit her position as a trusted family maid, despite having an affair with the married former California governor - and giving birth to his love child.
"She said she planned to retire in about five or six years. Definitely not this fast," a source involved in the 2010 closing of Baena's Bakersfield, Calif., home said. "She said she was tired of living in apartments and wanted someplace bigger for her son."
The revelation about Baena's long-term career plans calls into question reports that she left the family's staff in January on good terms and with a severance package. Around then, Schwarzenegger, 63, stepped down from his political post and reportedly admitted to his wife, Maria Shriver, that he had an affair.
When Patty left in January she received a "severance package"? Actually, a much better description of what she was given would be "child support" "hush money." Looking at things from a glass half full perspective, there's one bright side to this whole embarrassing situation: At least now Charlie Sheen knows he's not the only guy in Hollywood that pays women to leave after he's had sex with them.
Arnold Schwarzenegger in his famous 1977 documentary Pumping Iron
This shit just keeps getting better and better. Turns out Arnold Schwarzenegger's love child was born just five days after his son Christopher in 2007. Oh my god -- they could totally be BFFs! From the New York Daily News:
Arnold Schwarzenegger's housekeeper separated from her husband in 1997 - just three weeks after her reported love child with her boss was born. Court paper say they had no children.
According to a birth certificate, [Patty] Baena's son was born Oct. 2, three weeks before the separation, which they blamed on "irreconcileable differences."
Schwarzenegger's second son with Shriver, Christopher, was born Sept. 27.
In Arnold's defense, he did knock up Maria almost a week before he knocked up Patty. So, you know, it's not like he didn't give her first dibs. Yet still, she complains.
Arnold Schwarzenegger's mistress Patty Baena and their son
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