Everybody Love Raymond star Patricia Heaton "protects" her four sons by regularly checking their personal emails and cell phone text messages. As if that's not bad enough, Heaton urges other parents to do the same thing. In an interview which can only lead to violent bullying at school, Heaton reveals if her 13-year-old son is interested in girls yet:
"I think he is and the only way I know this is because I check his emails. When he goes to sleep I get his cell phone and check his text messages." The actress insists checking their messages is the only way she can find out what is going on in their lives. She says, "They don't talk to me about anything. They're boys. 'How was school?' 'Fine.' 'What happened?' 'Nothing.' She adds jokingly, "And then a parent will call and say, 'Did you hear about the stabbing on the playground?' And I'm like, 'Why didn't you tell me about the stabbing on the playground?'"
Talk about setting your sons up for weird habits later in life. Will these kids be able to masturbate anywhere other than a locked closet ever again? Even if they find some privacy, they'll still probably be looking over their shoulders watching out for Patricia, despite the fact she was killed five years prior when Ray Romano snapped and became Hollywood's most famous spree-killer. It's especially creepy that she's sneaking into her sons' rooms while they sleep to check their phones. Cut the fucking cord.
BTW Patricia, of course your son likes girls at 13. When I was 13 I was already smoking cigarettes and cleaning up on three-team parlays.
