Paris Hilton

Caption time!


Paris Hilton leaving Spago in Beverly Hills (10/14)

MY CAPTION: "Someone get me a cock! Hurry!"

YOUR CAPTION: Leave it in the comments . . .

*6 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Sucky Face 1
  • Paris Hilton Sucky Face 2
  • Paris Hilton Sucky Face 3
  • Paris Hilton Sucky Face 4
  • Paris Hilton Sucky Face 5
October 18, 2011
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Paris Hilton's career is really booming


Paris Hilton is a huge star

Boy, Paris Hilton's career is really taking off. That's her on Tuesday in Katowice, Poland receiving a star on the new "Walk of Fame" at the Silesia City Centre mall. They spelled her name right and everything. Watch out Moon! Because Paris Hilton's career is taking off into the stars!

*10 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Walk of Fame 1
  • Paris Hilton Walk of Fame 2
  • Paris Hilton Walk of Fame 3
  • Paris Hilton Walk of Fame 4
  • Paris Hilton Walk of Fame 5
  • Paris Hilton Walk of Fame 6
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  • Paris Hilton Walk of Fame 10
October 14, 2011
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Paris Hilton still has massive feet


Paris Hilton arriving at Mercato di Vetro restaurant in West Hollywood (10/7)

Start stocking up on toilet paper, ammunition, and cans of SpaghettiOs because Paris Hilton was getting out of an SUV on Saturday night and didn't flash her vagina. If this isn't a sign of the impending Apocalypse, then I don't know what is. If the sky turns red tonight with the fiery glow of a thousand suns, dude, I totally warned you.

*10 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Pure Elegance 1
  • Paris Hilton Pure Elegance 2
  • Paris Hilton Pure Elegance 3
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  • Paris Hilton Pure Elegance 10
October 13, 2011
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Paris Hilton praying for bigger boobs . . . and Monday's Paparazzi Leftovers


Paparazzi photos from Monday, September 26

Paris Hilton launching her new handbag and accessory line at Inorbit Mall in Mumbai, India (pics start here)

Christian Bale and Anne Hathaway on the set of The Dark Knight Rises in L.A. (pics start here)

Michelle Rodriguez out and about in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Ashley Tisdale leaving a gym in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Leighton Meester shopping in the West Village of New York (pics start here)

Jennifer Love Hewitt at Glamorama 2011 at The Orpheum Theatre in Hollywood (pics start here)

Selma Blair leaving Cafe Gratitude in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Madonna out and about in New York (pics start here)

Model Hana Soukupova at Prague Fashion Weekend in the Czeh Republic (pics start here)

Olivia Wilde going to lunch at Little Dom's in Los Feliz (pics start here)

Kaley Cuoco hosting Vegas magazine's Fall Fashion issue cover party at Marquee nightclub in Las Vegas (pics start here)

Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne outside Whole Foods in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Jennifer Lopez hosting a party at Pure nightclub inside Caesars Palace in Las Vegas (pics start here)

Jessica Alba and Cash Warren shopping at The Grove in West Hollywood (pics start here)

*122 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Prayer 1
  • Paris Prayer 2
  • Paris Prayer 3
  • Paris Prayer 4
  • Paris Prayer 5
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  • Paris Prayer 35
September 27, 2011
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Paris Hilton actually did something responsible?


Paris Hilton leaving BOA steakhouse in Beverly Hills (9/15)

Remember when Paris Hilton was put on probation for that cocaine "incident" in Las Vegas last year? She actually completed more community service than what the judge called for. Wait a minute, what the hell? What's gotten into her? What's she gonna do next, start using condoms? From TMZ:
Paris Hilton went above and beyond the call of duty in her Vegas cocaine case -- according to the judge. Paris' lawyer showed up to a Vegas courtroom today for a progress hearing -- a year after Paris pled guilty to cocaine possession -- and the judge was ecstatic ... claiming Paris was only supposed to do 200 hours of community service ... but clocked a grand total of 228. Paris also paid $2,000 in fines and successfully completed an "intensive" substance abuse program -- so the case is closed.
Recently, it seems like Paris has become more mature, more responsible, and for the most part, tabloid-free. What's come over her? . . . no, I mean besides USC's offensive line? Perhaps Paris has finally grown up and now realizes the error of her partying ways. Or, more likely, she knows if she screws up again she'll be spending more time surrounded by bars than Tara Reid.

*12 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Coke Probation 1
  • Paris Hilton Coke Probation 2
  • Paris Hilton Coke Probation 3
  • Paris Hilton Coke Probation 4
  • Paris Hilton Coke Probation 5
  • Paris Hilton Coke Probation 6
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  • Paris Hilton Coke Probation 10
September 21, 2011
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Ha Ha, you suck Paris


Paris Hilton's "career" is officially over

When Kim Kardashian starts making fun of your career, it may be time to retire . . . and by "time to retire" I mean "jump down an abandoned well." Can you please jump down an abandoned well, Paris Hilton? From the Chicago Sun Times:
While newlywed Kris Humphries is said to be over-the-moon about his bride Kim Kardashian — as well he should be this early on! — I have heard he’s beginning to realize how the couple’s “fishbowl” existence is truly 24/7.

A friend of the NBA free agent recalls overhearing Humphries’ new wife firmly telling him they have to live at this fast pace now — or before you know it the fame game can end, “and you can turn into a Paris Hilton.”
Wow, how the tides have turned. It used to be that Paris Hilton was the envy of every shallow attention-whoring skank. Now it just sounds like she's some sort of boogey man. I imagine before they go to sleep, Kim's mom sits down on Kylie and Kendall's beds and tells them in a scary voice with a flashlight up to her face "...and if you don't create one fake news story a day, you could end up like...PARIS HILTON! ARGGGGGH!"

*11 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Kardashian Comment 1
  • Paris Hilton Kardashian Comment 2
  • Paris Hilton Kardashian Comment 3
  • Paris Hilton Kardashian Comment 4
  • Paris Hilton Kardashian Comment 5
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  • Paris Hilton Kardashian Comment 10
September 12, 2011
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Just go away already


Paris Hilton arriving for a flight at LAX airport (8/25)

Can't you just quietly die in dignity, Paris Hilton's career? Shoo . . . go away. From TMZ:
Paris Hilton is training her ass off ... working with some of the BIGGEST DJs on Earth ... in a brand new quest to become the most POWERFUL female house music DJ of all time.

One source extremely close to the heiress tells us, Hilton's been told by the best in the biz she could become the "Queen of house music" -- because "no woman has ever taken over in that arena ... and she wants to become that person."

We're told Paris is recording right now in Ibiza (aka House Music Island) with David Guetta ... and is pushing to release the album before the end of the year.
Wait a second . . . Paris has been partying around the world at different nightclubs and we're supposed to believe it's because she wants to become a DJ one day? Sorry, traveling to exotic locations and dancing into the night high off mounds of coke isn't all it takes to become a world famous female DJ. It takes years of practice, god-given talent, and the ability to convince a rising star like Lindsay Lohan to let you go down on her. In related news, click here to read more about Samantha Ronson!

*15 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Career Over 1
  • Paris Hilton Career Over 2
  • Paris Hilton Career Over 3
  • Paris Hilton Career Over 4
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  • Paris Hilton Career Over 15
September 09, 2011
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Paris Hilton's show is getting canceled


Paris Hilton leaving the Galvin Benjamin Salon in West Hollywood (8/19)

We've already touched -- Paris Hilton story, pun intended -- on how woeful the ratings have been for The World According to Paris, Paris Hilton's new reality show on Oxygen. To give you an idea of just how bad, George Lopez had better ratings than her. I know, I didn't think that was possible. Anyways, New York Mag's Vulture blog is saying Paris' show is not getting renewed. Well no shit:
The network isn't officially commenting on its fate, but Vulture can exclusively report what's been obvious to even the most amateur ratings watcher for weeks: Oxygen has no plans for a second season of The World According to Paris, unscripted industry insiders familiar with the situation confirm.
Having her show canceled has gotta burn Paris almost as much as when she pees. Who knows, maybe the fact that no one watched this show means that this country is finally starting to recognize Paris and the rest of her worthless socialite ilk for what they really are -- spoiled brats with too much money and not enough brains. If the public really wanted to watch people like that, they'd just tune in to C-SPAN.

*28 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Canceled 1
  • Paris Hilton Canceled 2
  • Paris Hilton Canceled 3
  • Paris Hilton Canceled 4
  • Paris Hilton Canceled 5
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August 24, 2011
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Caption time! . . . with prize!


Paris Hilton out and about in St. Tropez (8/6)

MY CAPTION: Paris Hilton borrows Sarah Jessica Parker's hands for a weekend getaway to St. Tropez.

YOUR CAPTION: Leave it in the comments . . .

PRIZE: Winner (chosen randomly from captions) to receive a pair of V-MODA: True Blood® REVAMP headphones ($120 value).

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*35 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Tongue Lick 1
  • Paris Hilton Tongue Lick 2
  • Paris Hilton Tongue Lick 3
  • Paris Hilton Tongue Lick 4
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  • Paris Hilton Tongue Lick 20
August 08, 2011
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Paris and Lindsay are friends again


Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan in 2004

My second choice headline was: "Lindsay Lohan officially hits rock bottom." From TMZ:
Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have officially buried the hatchet on the old feud -- and partied together in Malibu this weekend. Lohan rolled over to Hilton's beach pad for a small shindig with some of Paris' close friends ... including her sister Nicky, actress Emma Roberts and "Inception" star Lukas Haas.

One source at the party tells us, "Everyone was so surprised when Lindsay walked in and we thought they didn’t get along. But they immediately gave each other a big hug."

We're told Paris is "very excited" about rekindling her friendship with Lohan ... adding, "She LOVED seeing her again."
This isn't the last time we'll hear about these two getting together. Rumor has it that Paris and Lindsay are already tentatively booked on the 2020 season of The Surreal Life. Of course one has to wonder why Paris is letting riffraff like Lindsay into her parties in the first place. I thought Paris hated the type of person Lindsay's become -- you know, black poor.

*11 Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Lindsay Lohan Friends Again 1
  • Paris Hilton Lindsay Lohan Friends Again 2
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  • Paris Hilton Lindsay Lohan Friends Again 10
July 28, 2011
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