Paris Hilton


Paris Hilton at St Pancras International train station in London (12/17)

If you're looking to buy me a Christmas present, that sweatshirt. I want that sweatshirt.

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*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Pedobear 1
  • Paris Hilton Pedobear 2
  • Paris Hilton Pedobear 3
  • Paris Hilton Pedobear 4
  • Paris Hilton Pedobear 5
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  • Paris Hilton Pedobear 1
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  • Paris Hilton Pedobear 14
  • Paris Hilton Pedobear 15

Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, December 16

Paris Hilton leaving Chiltern Firehouse in London (pics start here)

Model Daphne Joy out for dinner in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Drew Barrymore leaving a gym in L.A. (pics start here)

Lindsay Lohan and her sister Ali Lohan arriving to the LOVE Magazine/Balmain Christmas Party at The Ivy Market Grill (pics start here)

Brittany Kerr at the 2014 American Country Countdown Awards at the Music City Center in Nashville (pics start here)

Lily Collins shopping at a Frame Store in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Scott Caan out and about in L.A. (pics start here)

Ali Landry shopping at The Grove in Hollywood (pics start here)

Lori Loughlin shopping at The Grove in Hollywood (pics start here)

Kirsten Dunst at the premiere of Unbroken at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood (pics start here)

Cameron Diaz arriving at BBC Radio 1 studios (pics start here)

Daniel Craig filming the new James Bond film Spectre in Central London (pics start here)

*106 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton London Boobies 1
  • Paris Hilton London Boobies 2
  • Paris Hilton London Boobies 3
  • Paris Hilton London Boobies 4
  • Paris Hilton London Boobies 5
  • Paris Hilton London Boobies 6
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  • Paris Hilton London Boobies 1
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  • Paris Hilton London Boobies 15

Paris Hilton leaving Bonbonniere nightclub in London (12/16)

There could be a million explanations for that spot on the back of Paris Hilton's dress, but I'm going with she shit herself. Without a doubt, last night at Bonbonniere nightclub in London, Paris Hilton shit herself.

*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Shit Pants 1
  • Paris Hilton Shit Pants 2
  • Paris Hilton Shit Pants 3
  • Paris Hilton Shit Pants 4
  • Paris Hilton Shit Pants 5
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  • Paris Hilton Shit Pants 20
  • Paris Hilton Shit Pants 1
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  • Paris Hilton Shit Pants 8
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  • Paris Hilton Shit Pants 10

Paparazzi photos from Monday, December 8

Paris Hilton at Art Basel in Miami (pics start here)

Italian model Olga Kent at the beach in Miami (pics start here)

Amanda Seyfried walking her dog in New York (pics start here)

Tyra Banks and Jennifer Hawkins at a photocall for Australia's Next Top Model at Carriageworks in Sydney (pics start here)

Alessandra Ambrosio at a gas station in Brentwood (pics start here)

Jenna Dewan leaving Earthbar in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Charlize Theron on her way to yoga class in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Matt Damon leaving a gym in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Kate Hudson leaving The Nice Guy restaurant in L.A. (pics start here)

Lisa Rinna out for a walk in L.A. (pics start here)

Shay Mitchell ice skating at Rockefeller Center in New York (pics start here)

Jordana Brewster shopping for a Christmas tree at Mr. Greentrees in West Hollywood (pics start here)

*104 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Magical Mystery Cleavage 1
  • Paris Hilton Magical Mystery Cleavage 2
  • Paris Hilton Magical Mystery Cleavage 3
  • Paris Hilton Magical Mystery Cleavage 4
  • Paris Hilton Magical Mystery Cleavage 5
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  • Paris Hilton Magical Mystery Cleavage 1
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  • Paris Hilton Magical Mystery Cleavage 19
  • Paris Hilton Magical Mystery Cleavage 20

Miley Cyrus jet skiing in Miami (12/5)

So Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton made out last week in Miami. The two were partying at the annoyingly-named "E11even" nightclub when Paris noticed Miley was having trouble breathing, so she heroically gave her mouth to mouth resuscitation. Errr, something like that. A source told the New York Post:
"[Miley and Patrick] got there around 4 a.m. and sat at a private table off to the side -- but still definitely visible to everyone." Then, "Miley and Paris were dancing and had a whole bunch of people around them. Patrick was sitting on top of a banquette. He wasn't participating, but watching and enjoying. Miley sat on his lap and Paris was sitting on the couch. Miley leaned down to kiss Paris."

Our eagle-eyed observer continued: "All of a sudden, they just started making out, and Patrick was in the middle, cuddling them both. Paris had her arm around Patrick's waist. Then they all walked out of the club together" at around 5 a.m.
Normally this is the part of the story where I joke about someone having to be set on fire after making out with Paris or Miley, but I can't really do that this time because they made out with each other. I'm so confused. It's the classic version of a catch-22, but with more dudes getting jacked off by white trash chicks.

*30 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:

  • Miley Cyrus Swimsuit Ass Wedgie 1
  • Miley Cyrus Swimsuit Ass Wedgie 2
  • Miley Cyrus Swimsuit Ass Wedgie 3
  • Miley Cyrus Swimsuit Ass Wedgie 4
  • Miley Cyrus Swimsuit Ass Wedgie 5
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  • Miley Cyrus Swimsuit Ass Wedgie 1
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  • Miley Cyrus Swimsuit Ass Wedgie 15

Paris Hilton outside  1OAK Nightclub on Halloween

A few of Amanda Bynes' personalities wanted to hang out with Paris Hilton at 1OAK nightclub last week, but Paris was having none of it. Probably because Amanda doesn't have a huge dick. A witness told the New York Post:
"Amanda tried to sit at Paris and Brandon [Davis's] table, and they were not happy about it. There was a scene, and words exchanged, before they kicked her out of their area."
Aw man. Why does Amanda have to be one of those weird crazy people? Why can't she be one of those violent ones? This story could have been really awesome.

*25 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Amanda Bynes 1
  • Paris Hilton Amanda Bynes 2
  • Paris Hilton Amanda Bynes 3
  • Paris Hilton Amanda Bynes 4
  • Paris Hilton Amanda Bynes 5
  • Paris Hilton Amanda Bynes 6
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  • Paris Hilton Amanda Bynes 1
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  • Paris Hilton Amanda Bynes 10

Paris Hilton at the Topshop flagship store grand opening in New York (11/4)

Sure Paris Hilton may have the reputation of smelling like a cheap whore, but I'll be damned if she wasn't graced with the amazing ability to convince other women to smell like a cheap whore, too. From her interview with Women's Wear Daily:
"I would say that the success speaks for itself. [My brand] is one of the number-one celebrity fragrances out there and I have 17, which is a lot more than, I don't know, most people," Paris said, adding it continues to grow. "Every single month we are getting more sales and more countries wanting to sell the fragrances."

Donald J. Loftus, president of Parlux, agrees. "Over the 10-year period we've done $2 billion in sales," he said. "Yes, it's a lot of fragrances, but the strategy is to make sure it stays fresh every six months so the consumer keeps coming back ... She is our longest-standing celebrity brand to date, and over time, it's likely she will be the most profitable. Jay Z's fragrance may have made more in its first year, but for Paris we're talking over 10 years. Other than Liz Taylor, she's probably one of the highest paid over time."
Fuck it, I'm joining ISIS. I totally see their point now.

*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Perfume Empire 1
  • Paris Hilton Perfume Empire 2
  • Paris Hilton Perfume Empire 3
  • Paris Hilton Perfume Empire 4
  • Paris Hilton Perfume Empire 5
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  • Paris Hilton Perfume Empire 1
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Paris Hilton leaving the Casamigos Tequila Halloween Party in L.A. (10/25)

Oh look, Paris Hilton is wearing one of those fake asses for Halloween. Looks really authentic, too, like it actually came from a 65-year-old woman. Must have been expensive.

*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Hallowen Ass 1
  • Paris Hilton Hallowen Ass 2
  • Paris Hilton Hallowen Ass 3
  • Paris Hilton Hallowen Ass 4
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  • Paris Hilton Hallowen Ass 1
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Paris Hilton at the CR Fashion Book Issue 5 launch party during Paris Fashion
Week
(9/30)

I don't know how I missed this last week, but here's Paris Hilton showing some nipple at the CR Fashion Book launch in Paris last week. Did you know only 41% of 9th graders in the United States can locate Canada on a map, but 87% can identify Paris Hilton's nipple? True story. Saw it on the news last night.

*6 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Braless Dress 1
  • Paris Hilton Braless Dress 2
  • Paris Hilton Braless Dress 3
  • Paris Hilton Braless Dress 4
  • Paris Hilton Braless Dress 5

Paris Hilton DJing at Eden Plage in St. Tropez (8/10)

Ready to hate yourself? Then read this story from The Sun about Paris Hilton's DJing tour that kicked off in St. Tropez last week:
The heiress kicked off her run of 13 gigs with a set at Ibiza's Amnesia club, where she has a residency, on Wednesday night, Aug 6, but she was blasted for earning her huge £207,000-an-hour pay packet for simply "pressing play" as other workers reportedly did a lot of the technical work.

An Ibiza source told The Sun newspaper: "She's making £1.6 million ($2.7 million) from the four nights - £207k an hour ($347k). The crowds do seem to enjoy it but most are too off their faces to care that she's simply pressed play on a Beyoncé megamix."
I hit random on iTunes, I get a random selection of my songs. Paris Hilton does and she gets $2.7 million. Life isn't fair sometimes. Oh well, at least it doesn't burn when I pee. So I got that going for me.

*20 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton DJ Dork 1
  • Paris Hilton DJ Dork 2
  • Paris Hilton DJ Dork 3
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  • Paris Hilton DJ Dork 20

Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: