Paris Hilton at a press conference for her show My New BFF Dubai at the Intercontinental Hotel in Dubai (6/17)
Paris Hilton was being spied on in her hotel room in Dubai -- and no, not by Rick Salomon with
a night vision camera. Her bodyguards found a bug. A source working with Paris told London's
Daily Express:
"It was some sort of transmitter by all accounts. We’re not sure what the device picked up or whom it was transmitting to. But it did leave Paris very jittery. Everyone she has come into contact with during her stay in Dubai has been fantastic and gracious. We’ve been told there are some quarters where there is anti-American feeling. Paris’s security has been increased and hotel staff are investigating how the device came to be in her room."
Why would someone go through the trouble of bugging Paris Hilton's hotel room? Seems like if you really wanted to know how to get a stubborn semen stain out of a dress, you would just ask her.
Paris Hilton in Dubai (6/18)
After arriving in Dubai late last week, it took Paris Hilton mere hours to piss off the entire Middle East. -- *crosses fingers and hopes she has jihad declared against her* -- From the
Mirror:
Saucy minx PARIS Hilton has been given a major dressing down for, er, dressing down. TV producers had banned the airhead heiress from wearing a bikini while she is in Dubai shooting the third series of My New BFF. But within hours she was posing for photos in a skimpy twopiece.Brilliant.
Our source says: "Paris had made a big public speech, saying how much she loved the Middle East and respected its culture. But the following day she was prancing around on the beach in her bikini and posing provocatively. Bosses warned her Western tourists have been jailed for flouting the rules."
I really don't see a problem with what Paris is doing. If I learned anything about Middle Eastern countries in history class, it's that they tend to be open and flexible when it comes to issues involving women's sexuality. Like, the last thing you'd expect is for a group of men to tie her to a pole in the middle of the town square and throw rocks at her until she dies. Nope, wouldn't expect that at all. In fact, if I was Paris, I'd show all these Muslim dudes just how good a woman can look in a skimpy G-string.
Don't laugh at the slippers . . . he's European Soccer star Ronaldo gave an interview to
The Sun about what it was like coring out Paris Hilton like an apple a few weeks ago. The two
hooked up after meeting at My House nightclub in Hollywood. Ronaldo told the tabloid:
"She was a really cool girl and we had a great time talking. I am a young man and Paris a young lady, and us talking in a club is just what normal people our age do ... She lives thousands of miles away and is busy, and I am busy in Madrid so I am not sure if we will be able to see each other ... I am just making the most of the short summer I get."
What could Ronaldo have possibly talked to Paris about for so long at the club? The only things those two have in common are an affinity for hair products and attention. Besides, "talking" isn't the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Paris at a club. You're more likely to see her
dry-humping,
cheating,
getting high, or permanently altering the appearance of more young men's genitals than a mohel.
Paris Hilton and Cristiano Ronaldo at My House nightclub in West Hollywood (6/10)
Even though he probably already deleted her phone number after
he tapped that ass last week, Paris Hilton has grand plans for her and soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo. From UK tabloid
News of the World:
"We could be great together, you know. We're both so famous we'd become even bigger than David Beckham and Posh Spice. We're way hotter and younger than them anyway!" She was overheard at her sister Nicky's house, where the pair spent the night.
Afterwards Paris giggled to a friend: "I told him I'm going to move to Madrid to be with him. I promised."
The pal told us: "[Ex-boyfriend Doug Reinhardt] was just a washed-up reality TV star. All of a sudden there wasn't as much interest in Paris, and her appearance fees were cut dramatically. She was working like a dog to make the same amount of money as before. She knows if she wins over Ronaldo she'll be one of the hottest properties again."
I really don't see how this plan can fail whatsoever. It's foolproof. Because if there's one thing I know about 24-year-old multimillionaire athletes, it's that they're looking to settle down. By all means, Paris should sell her house in L.A and move to Madrid as soon as possible.
Doug Reinhardt and Paris all over Cannes last month TMZ
claimed last week that Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt were already back together, after just a day of
being broken up (which was
more than enough time for Paris to fuck Ronaldo). Paris and Doug haven't been spotted since the claim so who knows what to make of it. If the rumor's true, I think I know why Paris made up with him so quickly: distribution rights. She had to convince Doug to sign over the distribution rights to the sex tape that's going to be "stolen" from Paris' house in six months and "accidentally" leaked to the Internets. You don't think that's coming? Of course it is. Just look at Doug's fondness for his video camera. He takes it everywhere. Their sex tape is gonna be longer than
Gone with the Wind. And Paris will be laughing all the way to the bank. You can call her a whore, a skank, a slut, or even a cum-guzzling cock fiend slutskankwhore, but there is no denying that she is a smart
businesswoman.
Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt out and about in New York (6/3)
The more I hear about Doug Reinhardt, the more I like him. It sounds like it wasn't a fight
that broke up Paris Hilton and him, it was his spending habits. Of her money. From the Chicago Sun Times:
UPDATE (6/15): Doug's "people" are threatening to sue me for libel unless I delete this.
According to insiders (hint: me), Paris first become suspicious of Doug last week when she noticed a framed picture hanging in the art gallery of their Hollywood Hills home that wasn't of her.
UPDATE:
TMZ is claiming Paris and Doug are already back together:
But our spies say last night Paris begged Doug to take her back. She told him she loved him and had made a mistake by breaking up with him.
We're told she was texting him all night and then showed up at his house at 4 AM this morning, banging on his door. Apparently Doug succumbed to her charm ... which means he scored.
And the gravy trail pulls back into the station! I don't know how Doug is pulling this off (all he does is nail celebrities) but he needs to write a book so other guys can learn his secrets. Maybe Nick Cannon can write the foreword. Or Tori Spelling's husband if Nick's too busy spending Mariah Carey's money.
Paris Hilton leaving My Space nightclub in Hollywood (6/10)
Paris Hilton brought out the heavy guns -- her magic tits -- last night at Hollywood's My House nightclub, her first night out as a single woman in over four months. According to
The Sun, Paris wasted no time taking advantage of
her new freedom, hooking up with soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo. A source told the tabloid:
"Cristiano and Paris were all over each other swapping spit the entire night! His table needed every waitress in the building to bring all the alcohol he was getting through to him. He spent in excess of $20,000 on champagne and drinks. He was having a great time."
The Portuguese star left the club with Paris at 3am and drove to Nicky's pad in West Hollywood. He was spotted leaving at 5am, sporting trademark grin.
Earlier this morning
it was revealed that Ronaldo's team -- Manchester United -- sold him to Spain's Real Madrid for $131 million. Coincidence? I think not. I mean, would you want to play with a guy who fucked Paris Hilton? Every time he passed me the ball, I'd dive to get out of the way. "I ain't touching that."
UPDATE: Now with 100% more photographic evidence, courtesy of
TMZ (
click here)
Paris Hilton leaving the premiere of Rex at the Cinespace theatre in Hollywood (6/8)
Camelot is no more. Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt broke up. Her rep said:
"In response to inquiries on whether Paris Hilton has split with Doug Reinhardt, we can confirm this is true. They are no longer together. They remain friends and we ask that you please respect their privacy. Paris will not discuss the relationship further."
The trouble started at The Darkroom in L.A. on Tuesday night. After a huge fight by the couple, Paris stormed out of the club.
TMZ says:
Sources close to the couple say she sealed the deal-breaker by revoking Doug's right to enter her gated community, so early this morning Doug was left boohooing at the barricade when he realized he was locked out for good.
The same source tells us Paris couldn't be happier, because she now realizes "Doug is a douche just like everyone tried to tell her and that he was only dating her for publicity."
Well no shit he was only dating her for the publicity. Why else do you date Paris Hilton? Certainly not for her personality. And definitely not for the sex (the fact that Doug hosed himself off after every time they did it can attest to that). Regardless, I don't think we've heard the last of Doug Reinhardt. He dated Paris for, what, four months? You do the math on that and he should have at least 5-6 STDs by now. In other words, he's definitely qualified for a VH1 show.
Reinhardt of Love anyone?
Paris Hilton has too much money Actually, it's pretty obvious who this belongs to. Paris Hilton. It's a mini-mansion in her backyard for all her annoying dogs. She posted the pics earlier this week on her twitter page. The two story mini-mansion has a balcony, chandelier, wardrobe, heating, and air-conditioning. I don't even have air-conditioning. In other words, something that frequently eats the shit of other members of its own species is living in better conditions than I am. Kill self?
Paris Hilton shooting a commercial for DreamCatchers hair extensions in Malibu (5/30)
What network are they going to show this commercial on, the Playboy Channel? I don't know, maybe Paris is acting like a whore because she's trying to target the lucrative porn star market: "Buy my new DreamCatchers line of hair extensions. They won't fall out when you're getting cornholed by two dudes at once.
Trust me."
