Paris Hilton DJing at Eden Plage in St. Tropez
Ready to hate yourself? Then read this story from The Sun
about Paris Hilton's DJing tour that kicked off in St. Tropez last week:
The heiress kicked off her run of 13 gigs with a set at Ibiza's Amnesia club, where she has a residency, on Wednesday night, Aug 6, but she was blasted for earning her huge £207,000-an-hour pay packet for simply "pressing play" as other workers reportedly did a lot of the technical work.
An Ibiza source told The Sun newspaper: "She's making £1.6 million ($2.7 million) from the four nights - £207k an hour ($347k). The crowds do seem to enjoy it but most are too off their faces to care that she's simply pressed play on a Beyoncé megamix."
I hit random on iTunes, I get a random selection of my songs. Paris Hilton does and she gets $2.7 million. Life isn't fair sometimes. Oh well, at least it doesn't burn when I pee. So I got that going for me.*20 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:
Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton in Ibiza
Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are one again. The two partied with each other over the weekend in Ibiza -- a true meeting of the minds, if you will. Of course it was Paris who guided Kim during the infancy of her fame back in the day . . . and by "guided" I mean "she told her to fuck someone on film and then sell it." After running into Paris, Kim wrote
Reminiscing about the 1st time we went to Ibiza in 2006! @parishilton it was so good to see you & catch up!! Loves it lol
Drones? Hello? We really didn't have one drone within 250 miles of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian sitting right next to each other? Thanks a lot, Obama! I flunked out of civics in high school, but even I know that would have guaranteed him a third term.*15 Kim Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Paris Hilton and her new boyfriend in Malibu
So I guess Paris Hilton isn't dating that River Viiperi
guy anymore. She was spotted making out with a mystery guy yesterday in Malibu (because who could possibly resist that flabby ass?). Unfortunately, he had to be burned right after these pictures were taken. So sad. Such a bright future ahead of him.*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:
"Come and get it, boys!"
The day we all haven't been waiting for has finally arrived. Paris Hilton's single "Come Alive" is here. That's Paris at the release party at 1OAK in West Hollywood last night. Raise your hand if you knew Paris Hilton's single would have the word "come" in it . . . *slowly raises hand**15 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:
Paris Hilton in Malibu
Here's Paris Hilton at a beach party in Malibu yesterday. Looks like she got a new phone case that reads "The Queen of Fucking Everything." Sometimes the jokes just write themselves. That's way nicer than her "I Fuck Before
the First Date" case.*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:
Paris Hilton on the set of her music video in L.A.
Here's Paris Hilton flashing her panties on the set of her new music video in L.A. I don't know what shocks me more about this -- that Paris is making a music video, or that Paris actually owns panties. Clearly those are borrowed. It's probably safer to just set them on fire instead of return them.*16 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:
Paris Hilton arriving at Barneys New York in Beverly Hills
That's Paris Hilton driving her new McLaren 650S in Beverly Hills yesterday. Base price? $280,225. Yeah, but can she fit it in her pocket like my bus pass? Check and mate, bitch.
*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:
Paris Hilton's new job
Paris Hilton's career is really taking off. While her former BFF Kim Kardashian was marrying Kanye West in Italy earlier this week (it was pretty low key so not many media outlets covered it), Paris was at the grand opening of Millions of Milkshakes in Shanghai, China. I mean, duh. You obviously heard about it. I think CNN was there, no? The New York Times
definitely was, covering Millions of Milkshakes' groundbreaking discovery that chocolate and banana go really well together. I bet Paris got tens of free milkshakes for this appearance. Lucky bitch.
*10 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:
Paris Hilton at the VIP ROom in Cannes, France
So Justin Bieber probably banged Paris Hilton. The two were spotted leaving Gotha nightclub together in Cannes after some heavy flirting. Which for Paris means everything up to anal. From E!
Hilton didn't let their age difference (she's 33, he's 20) get in the way of some playful coziness with a shirtless Bieber--she hopped into his lap while he was sitting on a throne ... Before Bieber and Hilton left the club together with an entourage surrounding them.
This is great news. Drone strikes are way more successful when the two targets are near each other. Now if only we could get Kris Jenner over there. *lays down a dollar bill trail from Calabasas to Cannes**20 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:
Paris Hilton leaving Urban Outfitters in Studio City
I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes. Paris Hilton does actually have the flattest ass in the world. It's quite extraordinary and not likely to be seen again for generations to come.
*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery: