Paris Hilton at Polish Fashion Week in Rzgow, Poland (8/28)
Paris Hilton's DJing career is really taking off. Here she is performing a set (i.e. hitting play on her iTunes) during Polish Fashion Week is Rzgow last week. I know, right? Freaking Polish Fashion Week. Paris' fee is gonna skyrocket to tens or even elevens of dollars after this headlining performance. There goes my dream of having her DJ my famous Labor Day party. Guess I'll have to settle for Skrillex.
*20 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:
Paris Hilton bikini pics!
Here's Paris Hilton in Ibiza earlier this week. Because I care about her so much, here's a few helpful phrases for Paris to use during her vacation on the Spanish party island:
- Hurry up and take your pants off!: "Date prisa y tomar sus pantalones!"
- Do you sell Valtrex?: "Venden Valtrex?"
- Don't worry, I'm not wearing panties!: "No te preocupes, yo no llevo bragas!"
- Haven't I fucked you before?: "No he tenido relaciones sexuales con usted antes?"
- Gross, the maid is talking to me!: "Ay, de la dama esta hablando a mí!"
Paris Hilton and Tom Gross in Formentera, Spain (6/9)
Here's Paris Hilton and her new boyfriend Tom Gross on a yacht off Formentera yesterday. Gross is right. Or more like, embarrassing. Hopefully for him his friends don't start asking too many questions. "Tom, was that you kissing Paris Hilton on a yacht?" . . . "Me? Nope, not me. Not at all. I was in Bangkok fucking ladyboys. Fucked 'em real good."
*35 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi photos from Saturday, June 6, and Sunday, June 7
Paris Hilton and Nicky Hilton hosting The Ultimate Bachelorette Party at Wall Lounge at the W Hotel in Miami (pics start here)
Kate Upton on the set of The Layover in St. Louis (pics start here)
Jessica Hart out and about in New York (pics start here)
Vanessa Hudgens out and about in New York (pics start here)
Ashley Grenee leaving Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills (pics start here)
Kate Hudson out and about in New York (pics start here)
Rihanna leaving Game nightclub in New York (pics start here)
Gwen Stefani heading to the NBCUniversal building in Universal City (pics start here)
Iggy Azalea horseback riding in Calabasas (pics start here)
Kevin Bacon out for lunch in Hollywood (pics start here)
Kelly Clarkson arriving at BBC Radio One studios in London (pics start here)
Hilary Duff running errands in Sherman Oaks (pics start here)
*106 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
Paris Hilton and Tinkerbell during happier times
Paris Hilton is minus one family member. No, unfortunately, it's not her brother Conrad -- that little asshole is still alive and kicking. It's Tinkerbell, her chihuahua. She instagrammed earlier this week:
My heart is broken. I am so sad & devastated. After 14 amazing years together my baby Tinkerbell has passed away of old age. I feel like I've lost a member of my family. She was such a special & incredible soul. We went through so much together. I can't believe she's gone. I will miss her & think about her for the rest of my life. I love you Tinky, you are a Legend & will never be forgotten. #RIPTinkerbellWow, Paris Hilton's dog lived to be 14. Paris Hilton. Can I have "Things You Didn't See Coming" for $200, Alex? That's god damn amazing. That little fighter outlived, like, six of Paris' Peruvian housekeepers. The last one mistook some blow on the kitchen counter for sugar. Tragic overdose after her morning coffee. The one before that passed away after catching herpes from the toilet seat in the master bathroom. Gabriela, I believe. An absolute doll.
*15 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, February 3
Paris Hilton catching a flight at Ngurah Rai International Airport in Bali (pics start here)
Reality star Josie Cunningham leaving a nightclub in Soho, London (pics start here)
Hilary Duff leaving a gym in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Natasha Lyonne departing on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley leaving BBC Radio 1 studios in London (pics start here)
Molly Sims at The MOMS Breakfast Mamarazzi at Artisanal Fromage Bistro in New York (pics start here)
Kylie Minogue leaving Chiltern Firehouse in London (pics start here)
Miss Universe Paulina Vega leaving Huffington Post studios in New York (pics start here)
Alessandra Ambrosio out for coffee in Brentwood (pics start here)
Salma Hayek at the Paris Saint Germain vs. Rennes soccer match at Parc des Princes in Paris (pics start here)
Beyonce leaving the Alice + Olivia store in West Hollywood (pics start here)
Amy Smart leaving Lemonade restaurant in West Hollywood (pics start here)
*102 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
Paris Hilton and Jordan Barrett
So Paris Hilton is banging a teenager. She and 18-year-old Australian model Jordan Barrett were seen getting "very close" at the Cavalli Club in Milan over the weekend, according to In Touch Weekly. In Paris Hilton-speak, that means she went down on him. Dammit, we were *this* close to wiping out herpes in people born after 1996, too. Tough break, but we'll get there some day. We'll get there.
UPDATE: The Daily Mail says Barrett's parents are the convicted heads of a $9 million drug cartel in Australia. This hookup makes total sense now.
*30 pictures total in the gallery: