Paris Hilton


Paris Hilton outside  1OAK Nightclub on Halloween

A few of Amanda Bynes' personalities wanted to hang out with Paris Hilton at 1OAK nightclub last week, but Paris was having none of it. Probably because Amanda doesn't have a huge dick. A witness told the New York Post:
"Amanda tried to sit at Paris and Brandon [Davis's] table, and they were not happy about it. There was a scene, and words exchanged, before they kicked her out of their area."
Aw man. Why does Amanda have to be one of those weird crazy people? Why can't she be one of those violent ones? This story could have been really awesome.

*25 pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Amanda Bynes 1
  • Paris Hilton Amanda Bynes 2
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Paris Hilton at the Topshop flagship store grand opening in New York (11/4)

Sure Paris Hilton may have the reputation of smelling like a cheap whore, but I'll be damned if she wasn't graced with the amazing ability to convince other women to smell like a cheap whore, too. From her interview with Women's Wear Daily:
"I would say that the success speaks for itself. [My brand] is one of the number-one celebrity fragrances out there and I have 17, which is a lot more than, I don't know, most people," Paris said, adding it continues to grow. "Every single month we are getting more sales and more countries wanting to sell the fragrances."

Donald J. Loftus, president of Parlux, agrees. "Over the 10-year period we've done $2 billion in sales," he said. "Yes, it's a lot of fragrances, but the strategy is to make sure it stays fresh every six months so the consumer keeps coming back ... She is our longest-standing celebrity brand to date, and over time, it's likely she will be the most profitable. Jay Z's fragrance may have made more in its first year, but for Paris we're talking over 10 years. Other than Liz Taylor, she's probably one of the highest paid over time."
Fuck it, I'm joining ISIS. I totally see their point now.

*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Perfume Empire 1
  • Paris Hilton Perfume Empire 2
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Paris Hilton leaving the Casamigos Tequila Halloween Party in L.A. (10/25)

Oh look, Paris Hilton is wearing one of those fake asses for Halloween. Looks really authentic, too, like it actually came from a 65-year-old woman. Must have been expensive.

*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Hallowen Ass 1
  • Paris Hilton Hallowen Ass 2
  • Paris Hilton Hallowen Ass 3
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  • Paris Hilton Hallowen Ass 1
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Paris Hilton at the CR Fashion Book Issue 5 launch party during Paris Fashion
Week
(9/30)

I don't know how I missed this last week, but here's Paris Hilton showing some nipple at the CR Fashion Book launch in Paris last week. Did you know only 41% of 9th graders in the United States can locate Canada on a map, but 87% can identify Paris Hilton's nipple? True story. Saw it on the news last night.

*6 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Braless Dress 1
  • Paris Hilton Braless Dress 2
  • Paris Hilton Braless Dress 3
  • Paris Hilton Braless Dress 4
  • Paris Hilton Braless Dress 5

Paris Hilton DJing at Eden Plage in St. Tropez (8/10)

Ready to hate yourself? Then read this story from The Sun about Paris Hilton's DJing tour that kicked off in St. Tropez last week:
The heiress kicked off her run of 13 gigs with a set at Ibiza's Amnesia club, where she has a residency, on Wednesday night, Aug 6, but she was blasted for earning her huge £207,000-an-hour pay packet for simply "pressing play" as other workers reportedly did a lot of the technical work.

An Ibiza source told The Sun newspaper: "She's making £1.6 million ($2.7 million) from the four nights - £207k an hour ($347k). The crowds do seem to enjoy it but most are too off their faces to care that she's simply pressed play on a Beyoncé megamix."
I hit random on iTunes, I get a random selection of my songs. Paris Hilton does and she gets $2.7 million. Life isn't fair sometimes. Oh well, at least it doesn't burn when I pee. So I got that going for me.

*20 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton DJ Dork 1
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Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton in Ibiza (8/2)

Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are one again. The two partied with each other over the weekend in Ibiza -- a true meeting of the minds, if you will. Of course it was Paris who guided Kim during the infancy of her fame back in the day . . . and by "guided" I mean "she told her to fuck someone on film and then sell it." After running into Paris, Kim wrote:
Reminiscing about the 1st time we went to Ibiza in 2006! @parishilton it was so good to see you & catch up!! Loves it lol
Drones? Hello? We really didn't have one drone within 250 miles of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian sitting right next to each other? Thanks a lot, Obama! I flunked out of civics in high school, but even I know that would have guaranteed him a third term.

*15 Kim Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kim Paris Reunion 1
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Paris Hilton and her new boyfriend in Malibu (7/27)

So I guess Paris Hilton isn't dating that River Viiperi guy anymore. She was spotted making out with a mystery guy yesterday in Malibu (because who could possibly resist that flabby ass?). Unfortunately, he had to be burned right after these pictures were taken. So sad. Such a bright future ahead of him.

*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton New Guy Make Out 1
  • Paris Hilton New Guy Make Out 2
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"Come and get it, boys!"

The day we all haven't been waiting for has finally arrived. Paris Hilton's single "Come Alive" is here. That's Paris at the release party at 1OAK in West Hollywood last night. Raise your hand if you knew Paris Hilton's single would have the word "come" in it . . . *slowly raises hand*

*15 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Single Release 1
  • Paris Hilton Single Release 2
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Paris Hilton in Malibu (7/6)

Here's Paris Hilton at a beach party in Malibu yesterday. Looks like she got a new phone case that reads "The Queen of Fucking Everything." Sometimes the jokes just write themselves. That's way nicer than her "I Fuck Before the First Date" case.

*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Fucking Everything 1
  • Paris Hilton Fucking Everything 2
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  • Paris Hilton Fucking Everything 1
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Paris Hilton on the set of her music video in L.A. (6/25)

Here's Paris Hilton flashing her panties on the set of her new music video in L.A. I don't know what shocks me more about this -- that Paris is making a music video, or that Paris actually owns panties. Clearly those are borrowed. It's probably safer to just set them on fire instead of return them.

*16 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

  • Paris Hilton Music Video Upskirt 1
  • Paris Hilton Music Video Upskirt 2
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  • Paris Hilton Music Video Upskirt 1
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