Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton at the Citizen K 20th Anniversary Party at The VIP Room in Cannes, France (5/20)

While you're slaving away in your cubicle today for $15/hour, just know that Paris Hilton wore a $12,000 dress to a party in Cannes over the weekend (according to Celebuzz). So basically, if you live on the street from about January to June, collect cans, forage for food in the trash, and save every cent of your paycheck, you, too, could afford that dress. American dream, baby!

*15 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

Paris Hilton arriving on a flight at LAX airport (5/14)

Paris Hilton went to a club opening in West Hollywood last night, and her outfit definitely raised some eyebrows with its risque, plunging neckline. Oh that's right, that's an international airport, not a club opening. I forgot that she's a whore.

*20 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

Paris Hilton looks like hell

Here's some pretty awesome pictures of Paris Hilton looking like complete shit yesterday in West Hollywood. Paris is really careful about her image, so it's always nice to see pictures like this. It makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. Or maybe that's from the sandwich I ate that I found under my couch. Free lunch, baby!

*15 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

Paris Hilton is not wearing a bra

Flynet says that's Paris Hilton leaving a business meeting in Beverly Hills on Tuesday. If you look closely, you can see that Paris is missing something. No, I don't mean a bra. I mean fame. Hah, you suck Pairs!

*15 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

Paris Hilton in the April issue of FHM Africa

In what must be a huge boost to her confidence, Paris Hilton scored the cover of the April issue of FHM Africa. So does this mean she's finally turning things around? Is Paris Hilton back? No. The answer is no. See the first sentence and the reference to FHM Africa.

*10 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

Paris Hilton at Bondi Beach in Sydney, Australia (3/29)

Paris Hilton got a TV crew banned from a red carpet club opening in Australia last week because she didn't like some of the questions they asked during her appearance on the morning show Sunrise. Specifically the one about what she's going to do when she's not famous anymore. Which is a stupid question because she's not famous anymore. From Radar:

Correspondent Edwina Bartholmew also politely asked Paris, “What about when you’re not famous anymore, what are you going to do?”

The 31-year-old  Hilton responded by saying that she “just wants to be able to have children and have a normal life with my kids.”

Although she said it all in her typical Paris baby-tone complete with a smile, her publicist later made it clear that the heiress was not happy with being asked about losing her fame. Sunrise producers were told that if they aired the full interview they would not be allowed on the red carpet at the club opening that night. The show didn't take kindly to being threatened by Hilton and ran it anyway, and the clip of the segment provides a hilarious insight into the real world of Paris.

Things did not end on friendly terms with Channel 7, the Australian network that broadcasts Sunrise. They've now been banned from interviewing Paris ever again.

Question: What's the best way to get the media to not give a damn about who you are?
Answer: Prevent them from doing their job.

This is pretty much what we're talking about, right? Man, Paris loves to put that Cloverfield foot in her mouth as much as possible. Paris doesn't realize it yet, but it's already over. Paris is the Robin to Afrojack's Batman, meaning he gets to cornhole Paris and she has to accept it or never ride in the Batmobile again.

*21 Paris Hilton pics total in the gallery:

Paris Hilton at the Jacked party at Mansion Miami (3/25)

MY CAPTION: Out of sheer instinct, Paris Hilton puts something long, white, and hard into her mouth.

YOUR CAPTION: Leave it in the comments . . .

*15 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

Paris Hilton is an idiot

Hey, remember when Paris Hilton turned 31 last month? Because apparently she doesn't. That's Paris acting like a drunk 15-year-old at her boyfriend DJ Afrojack's show in Miami yesterday. Isn't it charming how Paris hasn't lost her youthful exuberance over the years, despite all the criticism and controversy in her life? No, it's not. That's a trick question. She's fucking annoying. Go away.

*30 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

Paris Hilton leaving Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills (3/10)

Paris Hilton went to dinner with her parents on Saturday night. And she wore that. That. She wore that to dinner with her parents. Not to a Pimps & Hoes party. To a restaurant. See, this is why the terrorists hate us. Nevermind what you wear, if you live in Afghanistan and you're even named Paris, that's grounds for being stoned to death.

The cool thing is the bill was $387, but Paris actually made $52 because everyone kept throwing dollar bills at her. Score!

*21 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery:

Paris Hilton arriving at Beso restaurant in West Hollywood (2/28)

Flynet says that's Paris Hilton (and her massive feet) arriving to a birthday dinner at Beso last night. Nothing wrong with that, you're thinking. Except that her 31st birthday was February 17. She's still celebrating her birthday almost two weeks later. She basically turned Black History Month into Paris Hilton Month. Racist bitch.

ALTERNATE HEADLINE: "Yes, that's a 31-year-old woman in a tiara"

*10 Paris Hilton pictures total in the gallery: