Pam Anderson leaving the Malibu Chili Cook-Off (9/4)
I don't care how famous you are, when you don't work, you can't pay your bills. I know, right, what a shock. From
Star magazine:
Pamela Anderson used to be the Baywatch babe with the million-dollar body! Now, she owes more than $1.2 million to creditors, including construction companies she stiffed after they remodeled her five-bedroom Malibu Colony home last year!
“A lot of people are owed a lot of money,” Jay Bruder, boss of Bruder Construction, tells Star. And none more than him! In June, he filed a $674,043 lien against Pam for the cost of “labor and materials and subcontractors to remodel main house, construct foundations for guest house.”
In addition to liens from countless other construction companies, Pam also owes $252,360 to California’s Franchise Tax Board in unpaid income tax from 2007.
Jim Brown, the president of Mini-Haulers, which carted the construction debris from Pam’s house, tells Star that Pam’s failure to pay his $1,975 bill has affected his family. “Putting food on the table isn’t easy in this economy. When someone doesn’t pay their bills, it’s that much harder!”
If this were 1991, I'm sure most of these subcontractors would have been able to "come to some sort of agreement" -- *wink* *wink* -- with regards to the money that Pam owed them (it's actually a little known fact that from 1989-1996 Pam never carried around money when she went shopping -- just condoms). Unfortunately for Pam, because of the ravages of time and hep-C, men are now declining that payment option.
Pam Anderson leaving Nobu restaurant in Malibu (8/16)
This week's "Pam Anderson fucked someone in a bathroom" story is sponsored by Kellogg's Frosted Flakes.
They're Gr-r-reat! From the
New York Post:
Pamela Anderson really knows how to celebrate art. The sultry star was at the opening party for David LaChapelle's new photography exhibition at the David DeSanctis gallery in LA, where one attendee told us, "She was with a guy who plays a character in Cirque du Soleil. They were in the outdoor bathroom trailer together for almost an hour. It was a really crowded party but everyone was whispering about it."
In all seriousness, can you really judge a skank like Pamela Anderson for screwing a stranger in an "outdoor bathroom"? She was just following her natural instincts -- like when K-Fed visits a Marie Callender's or Paula Poundstone volunteers at an elementary school.* This story does remind me of an interesting parallel: What do Pamela Anderson's vagina and a dirty toilet seat have in common? Both can give you hepatitis C.
*Don't remember the whole Paula Poundstone thing back in 2001? That's because the same day she plead no contest to felony charges of child endangerment (she was originally charged with three counts of committing a lewd act on an unidentified girl under the age of 14),
FUCKING 9/11 HAPPENED!
Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson at Body English at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas (8/1)
WTF? Why does Tommy Lee keep going back to Pam Anderson? Her vagina must be scarier looking than
those fish with huge fangs that live at the bottom of the ocean. The only thing that makes sense is that he got into some sort of argument with his penis and this is his way of exacting revenge. In Tommy's defense, his penis shouldn't have called his mom a fat whore.
Pam Anderson bikini pics! Pam Anderson in St. Tropez (July 2007)
Pam Anderson's "Lovestream" trailer A casino in Laughlin, Nevada, is trying to sell Pam Anderson's old "Lovestream" trailer. The price? $39,000. The trailer was a gift to Pam in 2001 from Hugh Hefner and features a mirrored ceiling, circular vibrating bed, stripper pole, and disco ball. Presumably the mirrored ceiling is so you can see the look of fear in your eyes as you go to bed wondering if you can catch gonorrhea from an unwashed mattress.
Pam Anderson bikini pics! (Malibu - 5/25)
Pam Anderson walking down Malibu Beach with her new best friend,
out of focus pictures. Christ, she looks halfway bangable. I haven't said that about Pam Anderson since the mid-90s. I feel like I'm back in high school . . . minus the socially crippling acne of course. *breaks down in tears*
Pam Anderson at Malibu Beach (1/18)
It's official. Pam Anderson is trailer trash. Courtney Love revealed to the
New York Post that the former Playboy model has fallen upon hard times recently and is now living in a trailer park in Malibu:
"Pam Anderson doesn't even have a credit card. And she lives in Paradise Cove -- which is in Malibu, but it's a trailer park in Malibu."
A quick check on the Internet reveals that a double-wide trailer in the park costs around $325,000 -- and on the high side, homes are around $1.2 million. The blond bombshell's manager didn't return our e-mails.
Well, you know what they say about destiny: It works in totally predictable ways. Pam was always gonna end up in a trailer park. It was God's plan. Just like it was his plan for me to nail that hot Swedish exchange student on Saturday night. I'd like to think that was his reward for all the time I've been putting in lately at the soup kitchen. And since Helga lacked a gag reflex, I think that was God's way of telling me he wants me to put in more hours.
Holy crap she got uglyCan Pam Anderson go one day without one of her tits falling out or her making a complete ass of herself? As a matter of fact, no, no she can't. From the
National Enquirer:
Pam Anderson couldn't be bothered to read the menu when she lunched at The Ivy on Feb. 25. She made the waiter describe EVERY entree before she finally decided on a salad. (Print Edition - 3/16)
It's not that Pam Anderson "couldn't be bothered to read," it's that she can't. If science has proven anything, it's that the size of a woman's breasts is inversely proportional to her intelligence. Case in point: Pam was nominated for a Nobel Prize just weeks before her first boob job. Of course, like most scientific theorems, there's always one anomaly. And in this case, it's defined as "Paris Hilton."
Pam Anderson bikini pics! (Malibu - 1/16)
It's weird what has happened to Pam Anderson over the years. And by "weird' I mean "horrifying." Many a Friday night in high school was spent rubbing one out to a dream of her tackling me like that. Now if she came within 10 feet of me, I'd probably pepper-spray her.
Pam Anderson is delusional
I'm curious what Pam Anderson would answer if you asked her who the President was. Probably Bill Clinton. She thinks it's 1997, right? It's the only explanation for what she wore to the "Art Basel" show in Miami on Saturday. Pam thinks it's 1997 and she's still hot. Ugh. It's sad to see really. She's like a 75-year-old NFL retiree showing up to a stadium with pads and a helmet on thinking he's still got what it takes. Pam, honey, the game passed you by a long time ago. If you don't stop dressing like that, I'm afraid Pa is gonna have to take you out back and put you down.
