Owen Wilson in Hawaii (1/6)
Vacations in Hawaii. Thing #2,380,236 that's better than death.
Recently in Owen Wilson Category
Le Call in Hawaii
As I alluded to yesterday, Owen Wilson has a new girlfriend, 25-year-old model Le Call (seen frolicking in the waters of Hawaii). Despite the French sounding name, she's from Licking, MO (Ed. Note: heh heh heh). She dropped the "Ann" from her first name when she went into modeling. Which is a coincidence because I dropped the "Ohhhhhhhh" from my first name when I got out of doing models.
Owen Wilson in Hawaii (11/18)
See how much fun it is not killing yourself? You get to hang out in Hawaii and bang supermodels. Coincidentally I did one of those things on Saturday night (HINT: I'm afraid of flying and boats). Give up? . . . I didn't kill myself. Oh you thought I banged a supermodel? Uhh dude, it's kinda hard to meet supermodels when you're busy beating five levels of World of Warcraft in one night. YEAH!!!
Owen Wilson in New York (10/30)
In the wake of his recent suicide attempt, Owen Wilson is going to great lengths to prove he's not up to any funny business behind closed doors. A New York Post "spy" saw him at the Los Angeles' Museum of Contemporary Art on Sunday:
"He was with a girl with blond highlights and he went to the bathroom and peed with the door open." Asked about the open stall door, Wilson's rep responded, "Can you blame him? He's damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. If he tries to protect himself from innuendo and lies, it gets used against him." (Source)
Peeing with the bathroom door open is a lot less dramatic than how some celebrities are relieving themselves these days. They're either peeing in public, peeing their pants, or getting peed on . . . click here to read more about Kim Kardashian! Now, when Owen starts "growing a tail" with the door open, THEN there might be a story . . . like did he use a toilet seat cover or did he hover?
Owen Wilson and Jessica Simpson
Looks like not killing yourself has some benefits--Owen Wilson is probably banging Jessica Simpson. The two were spotted having dinner together at the Huntley Hotel in Santa Monica before going back to Owen's house at the end of the night. A witness told Star magazine:
"He couldn't keep his hands off her." Apparently, sparks flew between the two Texans when they were in Austin on Oct. 16 to appear in a video with Willie Nelson. (Source)
What's the best cure for depression? Cymbalta®? Nope. St. John's Wort? Nuh uh. A buxom blonde with the reading comprehension of a second grader? Bingo! Bimbos have been a cure-all elixir for most of man's ailments for millennia. Of course they've been the CAUSE of quite a few too--syphilis, gonorrheah, and alimony come to mind.
Pacific Coast News
Against the advice of his friends and family, In Touch Weekly is reporting that Owen Wilson did not check into rehab following his much-publicized suicide attempt (the actor has had two prior stints in rehab). An insider told the mag:
"(Owen) doesn't think he really has a problem." But clearly the You, Me and Dupree star recognizes that he still needs some help. Making an effort to stay safe, as well as on the straight and narrow, Wilson hired a $750-a-day "sober companion," according to In Touch. The male attendant will stay by the celeb's side around the clock, even traveling with him. (Source)
A leech that hangs around a movie star 24/7 while draining his money and ability to have a good time is called a sober companion? I thought they were called wives? And did anyone else notice the article doesn't mention the gender of the $750 a day companion? Hell, I rented a much cheaper "companion" last weekend for about $35 an hour . . . of course I was in Tijuana. You should see the hilarious t-shirt I bought my wife; it reads: "My husband went to Tijuana and all I got was this lousy t-shirt . . . and this burning sensation I didn't have a week ago."
Splash News
Owen Wilson is finally home from the hospital and my god he looks worse than I imagined . . . wait, oops, that's Wilson in his new movie The Darjeeling Limited. Here's some real pics of Wilson yesterday, shortly after his release from the psychiatric ward at Cedars Sinai hospital:
Bauer-Griffin
Suicide? But he looks so damn happy! Really all that's missing from these pics is Wilson holding some balloons and cotton candy.
The New York Post is speculating today that Owen Wilson's addiction to heroine and cocaine may have been what pushed him into Sunday's shock suicide attempt. Apparently the actor has struggled with drugs for quite some time--the situation became so bleak for Wilson that pal Woody Harrelson even tried to stage an intervention at his home in Maui (Wilson's friend: "Owen went to Maui, Hawaii, to kick his habit. He was like a baby on that couch."). And it's all Steve Coogan's fault. Wait a minute, who? Ya' know, Steve Coogan, the actor dude (pic below). Coogan's former girlfriend, Courtney Love, said:
"I went through it with Steve. I was just out of rehab, and he was right there with the drugs. I tried to warn Owen. I tried to warn his friends. I hope from the bottom of my heart that Owen stays the hell away from that guy." (Source)
Did I read that right? When did Courtney Love turn into a D.A.R.E. counselor? Aside from Adolf Hitler starring in one of those ERACISM commercials, that's pretty much the last thing I thought I'd see today. I heard that if you prick Courtney with a needle, you can snort her blood for a quick high.
Getty
Last week's call logs for the Santa Monica Police Department were released today, confirming that Owen Wilson did in fact try to kill himself on Sunday. I know that's kind of downer news to end the day on so click here for a totally awesome picture of a cat wearing a duck hat.
Bauer-Griffin
The big question this morning surrounding the surprising suicide attempt by Owen Wilson on Sunday is why--why would a successful actor at the peak of his career try to kill himself especially since it's scientifically proven that rich people don't have emotional problems. Some are speculating that Owen's recent breakup with Kate Hudson was to blame. The New York Post claims that, right before Wilson slit his wrists and downed a bottle of pills, he had a "vicious quarrel" with a friend. One of Wilson's friends revealed to the New York Post that the actor has had a dark history of depression:
"It's very upsetting. People are complicated. It's not just one thing." (Source)
Actually it is. It's this picture right here. That's what drove Owen Wilson to slit his wrists. And really, who can blame him? Finding out your ex-girlfriend dumped you for a homeless dude be a bit of a shock to the system. Like that time my wife told she wanted to visit New Jersey. I entertained the thought for a few days before I finally just jumped off a bridge. Thank God I landed on my abs.
