Orlando Bloom


Orlando Bloom in Malibu (6/28)

Orlando Bloom: American hero. And I don't care if he's British. He's a godddamn American hero in my book. The actor threw a punch at Justin Bieber late last night at a restaurant in Ibiza. You haven't heard anything about Justin being dead so obviously the punch didn't connect. From TMZ:
We're getting different versions of what incited Orlando, and people are taking sides. One account is Justin extended his hand to Orlando, who refused it, and when Justin asked what's your problem ... Orlando mentioned Miranda. Justin then tried to walk away and that's when Orlando swung.

A second version -- Justin said something to the effect of, I had sex with your wife ... and THEN Orlando swung . . . Orlando was in Cipriani restaurant which was packed with celebs, including Paris Hilton, and Diddy.
Looks like we can confirm those rumors that Bieber slept with Miranda Kerr. But Orlando fucked Selena Gomez, so everything should be even. The big loser in this whole thing is clearly Paris Hilton. What if everyone knew you existed, but no one cared?

*20 Orlando Bloom pictures total in the gallery:

  • Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Fight 1
  • Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Fight 2
  • Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Fight 3
  • Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Fight 4
  • Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Fight 5
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  • Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Fight 15
  • Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Fight 1
  • Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Fight 2
  • Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Fight 3
  • Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Fight 4
  • Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Fight 5

Selena Gomez horseback riding in L.A. (4/18)

Orlando Bloom and Selena Gomez are totally doing it. The two were spotted arriving in the same car to Chelsea Handler's show at The Forum in L.A. on Saturday night. And then when the paparazzi tried to get a pic of the two together after the show, Orlando quickly tried to separate himself from Selena (FAIL). Smoooooooth, Orlando. Maybe next time you can wear a shirt that says "IN ABOUT AN HOUR, I WILL STICK MY PENIS INTO THIS GIRL" with a huge arrow pointing to Selena. Okay, okay, maybe we're reading into this too much. Maybe Orlando is just giving Selena advice on Justin Bieber. And that advice happens to be naked. And he cums at the end.

*10 Selena Gomez pictures total in the gallery:

  • Selena Gomez Orlando Bloom Hookup 1
  • Selena Gomez Orlando Bloom Hookup 2
  • Selena Gomez Orlando Bloom Hookup 3
  • Selena Gomez Orlando Bloom Hookup 4
  • Selena Gomez Orlando Bloom Hookup 5
  • Selena Gomez Orlando Bloom Hookup 6
  • Selena Gomez Orlando Bloom Hookup 7
  • Selena Gomez Orlando Bloom Hookup 8
  • Selena Gomez Orlando Bloom Hookup 9
  • Selena Gomez Orlando Bloom Hookup 10

Orlando Bloom is enjoying the single life

After being linked with smoking-hot Frenchie Nora Arnezeder, Orlando Bloom was seen flirting with a hot American chick last week in New York. Like shooting fish in a barrel. From Page Six:
"Orlando was with friends, but was focused on one American girl, a brunette," a witness said. "He was getting cozy with her. He had his hand on her leg, and she was whispering in his ear while they were looking at pictures of his son on his phone."
Of course Orlando Bloom is enjoying the single life. The man has been treated to world class sympathy pussy ever since we all found out that Miranda was getting spermed by all of his friends -- probably in that apartment he loves so much, too. Luckily, American star-fuckers have a soft spot for overrated English actors who get humiliated by their lady friends. Although Legolas seems to be turning tragedy into awesomeness, he'll play it cool and not go running back to Miranda when she realizes that she's a 30-year-old single mother who's no longer a Victoria's Secret employee. The last thing Bloom needs is to be another Hollywood cuckold -- stealing Robert Pattinson's gimmick would seem a bit gauche at this point.

*10 Orlando Bloom pictures total in the gallery:

  • Orlando Bloom Single Flirting 1
  • Orlando Bloom Single Flirting 2
  • Orlando Bloom Single Flirting 3
  • Orlando Bloom Single Flirting 4
  • Orlando Bloom Single Flirting 5
  • Orlando Bloom Single Flirting 6
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  • Orlando Bloom Single Flirting 10

Orlando Bloom's new girlfriend Nora Arnezeder

Orlando Bloom has branched out from smoking hot Australian chicks and is now dating a smoking hot French chick. Good for him. He needed a change. From the Daily Mail:
Miranda Kerr's ex Orlando Bloom arrived at The Roger Room on his Ducati on Tuesday night for a date with a new girl. The 37-year-old actor was spotted hanging out at the Los Angeles speakeasy with Nora Arnezeder, a gorgeous 24-year-old French actress. The pair were spotted at the hip L.A. watering hole and hours later Orlando left alone only to come back shortly afterwards to pick up his date.

A source in the bar told Mail Online: "Orlando and Nora were in the bar for about two hours enjoying some drinks and talking. They sat at a corner table together and weren't joined by anyone else."
Hey, young Will Turner seems to have rebounded from the epic send-off he got from Miranda Kerr a little while back. Nora Arnezeder is all types of hot AND, since she's an actress in her mid-20s, she's ready, willing, and able to do whatever it takes to stay in the mainstream, even if it means sipping elven cream from Legolas' enchanted tap. I'm happy for Orlando, but you know who's even happier for him, right? Leonardo DiCaprio and that Aussie billionaire James Packer, for starters. They're both former friends of his and they're both gonna fuck Nora eventually (hopefully not at the same time). Orlando's basically a headhunter for them (pun intended). I mean, c'mon, if they can swoop in on Miranda Kerr, then they can certainly swoop in on this delicious little French pastry.

*25 Nora Arnezeder pictures total in the gallery:

  • Nora Arnezeder Orlando Bloom 1
  • Nora Arnezeder Orlando Bloom 2
  • Nora Arnezeder Orlando Bloom 3
  • Nora Arnezeder Orlando Bloom 4
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  • Nora Arnezeder Orlando Bloom 25

Paparazzi photos from Thursday, December 26

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom leaving their apartment in New York (pics start here)

Writer Lana Wachowski arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Lindsay Lohan out and about in New York (pics start here)

Keira Knightley shopping in London (pics start here)

Kylie Jenner leaving the Andy LeCompte Salon in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Jennifer Lopez shopping in East Hampton, New York (pics start here)

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson shopping in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Jamie Foxx arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Bruce Willis' wife Emma Heming running errands in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Josh Duhamel leaving a gym in L.A. (pics start here)

Fergie leaving her parents' house in L.A. (pics start here)

Gwen Stefani leaving a friend's house in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

*108 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Orlando Miranda Apartment 1
  • Orlando Miranda Apartment 2
  • Orlando Miranda Apartment 3
  • Orlando Miranda Apartment 4
  • Orlando Miranda Apartment 5
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Miranda Kerr at Roberto Cavalli's Flagship Opening Store in New York (12/12)

Orlando Bloom is not happy with Leonardo DiCaprio for waiting all of two days before moving in on his estranged wife Miranda Kerr. In Leo's defense, he's never had sex with Miranda before (who looks really good topless) and he needs to nail her to complete the full set of Victoria's Secret Angels. A source told the National Enquirer:
"Miranda is Leo's dram girl. He's had the hots for her for years but mostly kept his distance out of respect for her marriage. About a month ago Orlando told Leo that he and Miranda were splitting up and he was brokenhearted over it. Leo comforted his pal, saying, 'I know better than anybody -- there are plenty of other fish in the sea.'" Then Leo, 39, turned around and asked 30-year-old Miranda out on a date.

"Orlando was shocked that a friend would stab him in the back so callously," said the source. "He told Leo to lay off, at least until his divorce is final." Still, the source said that Orlando, 36, grumbled to another pal: "With friends like Leo, who needs enemies!" (Print Edition - 12/16)
I'm starting to feel bad for Legolas. It seems that all of his friends have been waiting for Miranda to come to her senses, and now they're lining up to come in her. I'm sorry, that was a cheap joke. I'm sure the fact that Orlando's ex is taking the pipe from all of his friends is just a coincidence, and has nothing to do with the fact that Little O is about as intimidating as a bowl of chicken noodle soup on a cold winter's day. Sorry bud, you knew that your pal Leo has dibs on all Victoria's Secret models, past, present, and married. Let the man do his thing to your wife and move on, get over it, and try not to think about it. Trust me, nobody wants to be compared to Leonardo's sex antics, just do what I do and keep swimming in his wake.

*30 Miranda Kerr pictures total in the gallery:

  • Miranda Leo Orlando 1
  • Miranda Leo Orlando 2
  • Miranda Leo Orlando 3
  • Miranda Leo Orlando 4
  • Miranda Leo Orlando 5
  • Miranda Leo Orlando 6
  • Miranda Leo Orlando 7
  • Miranda Leo Orlando 8
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Paparazzi photos from Monday, December 16

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr returning to their apartment in New York (pics start here)

Pete Sampras and his wife Bridgette Wilson heading to a workout in Brentwood (pics start here)

Evangeline Lilly returning to her hotel in New York (pics start here)

Johnny Knoxville out and about in Studio City (pics start here)

Jenna Dewan at the beach in Puerto Rico (pics start here)

Hilary Duff shopping in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Halle Berry leaving Bristol Farms in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Jessica Alba leaving Tavern Restaurant in Brentwood (pics start here)

Rumer Willis stopping by an office building in L.A. (pics start here)

Arnold Schwarzenegger shopping for a new Jeep in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Rihanna leaving a photoshoot at Milk studios in New York (pics start here)

Kelly Rowland shopping at Rapport International Furniture in L.A. (pics start here)

*108 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Kerr Bloom Still Friendly 1
  • Kerr Bloom Still Friendly 2
  • Kerr Bloom Still Friendly 3
  • Kerr Bloom Still Friendly 4
  • Kerr Bloom Still Friendly 5
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  • Kerr Bloom Still Friendly 35

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom at the 2013 Vanity Fair Oscar Party at Sunset Tower in West Hollywood (2/24)

As ridiculous as it sounds, there's a story floating around that Justin Bieber was one of the causes of Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr's split. I guess Orlando wasn't too pleased about the pair's friendship and constant flirting. Dude, is this kid hiding a maple tree in his pants and we just don't know about it or what? From Britain's Sunday People:
Photos of the pair snuggling up after a Victoria's Secret fashion show last year have also emerged, with reports they spent several hours together at an after party and partied well on into the night.

"Orlando heard that there had been some ­flirting ­going on and he wasn't exactly thrilled about it," a source said. "Miranda had always claimed that she was a fan of Justin's music. She has taught her son how to say 'Bieber fever' but it is supposed to have caused an issue."
No fucking way, bro. Tell me this came from Bieber's camp. Yeah, that's it, Team Pasty put this press release out to save the lad some face. Imagine if someone took all the boy bands of the '80s and '90s and mashed them into a colossal Pacific Rim-like robot of douchiness? That Mighty Morphing Poser Ranger would be Justin Bieber (especially the gay parts). I refuse to believe that Miranda is so dense that she doesn't know that laying down for JB is career suicide. I understand that maybe Miranda wants to be with someone even less intimidating than Legolas of Mirkwood, but she's gonna have to fight Justin's bodyguards/hangers on/showermates for his attention.

*30 Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr pictures total in the gallery:

  • Miranda Kerr Justin Bieber 1
  • Miranda Kerr Justin Bieber 2
  • Miranda Kerr Justin Bieber 3
  • Miranda Kerr Justin Bieber 4
  • Miranda Kerr Justin Bieber 5
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  • Miranda Kerr Justin Bieber 30

Miranda Kerr leaving her apartment on the Upper East Side of New York (10/21)

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom haven't been photographed together in months because they've been secretly separated. And now they're getting a divorce. Oh well, we'll always have Kim and Kanye to keep that fire burning. The actor and supermodel -- who've been married a little over three years -- issued a statement today:
"They have been amicably separated for the past few months. After six years together, they have recently decided to formalize their separation. Despite this being the end of their marriage, they love, support and respect each other as both parents of their son and as family."
I bet Adam Levine's kicking himself now for proposing to Behati Prinsloo back in July. And John Mayer -- dumping Katy Perry now is gonna be real awkward with all that sappy shit she's been saying lately. Basically Miranda is the hottest bitch in school now, and all the football players are stuck with their bitchy girlfriends. So that just leaves the dork who sits alone at lunch eating his boogers. Jeremy Piven, come on down!

*10 Miranda Kerr pictures total in the gallery:

  • Miranda Kerr Orlando Bloom Divorce 1
  • Miranda Kerr Orlando Bloom Divorce 2
  • Miranda Kerr Orlando Bloom Divorce 3
  • Miranda Kerr Orlando Bloom Divorce 4
  • Miranda Kerr Orlando Bloom Divorce 5
  • Miranda Kerr Orlando Bloom Divorce 6
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  • Miranda Kerr Orlando Bloom Divorce 9
  • Miranda Kerr Orlando Bloom Divorce 10

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom arriving to the 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel (1/13)

Miranda Kerr damn near accidentally flashed her vagina at the Golden Globes last night. Accident my ass. She knows exactly what she's doing. She's trying to seduce me over the internet again. I won't fall for your tricks a third time, temptress!

*31 Miranda Kerr pictures total in the gallery:

  • Miranda Kerr Golden Globes Dress 1
  • Miranda Kerr Golden Globes Dress 2
  • Miranda Kerr Golden Globes Dress 3
  • Miranda Kerr Golden Globes Dress 4
  • Miranda Kerr Golden Globes Dress 5
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Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: