Olivia Wilde

Olivia Wilde shooting a commercial in L.A. (3/13)

What's better than you and two strippers in the champagne room of a strip club? You, two strippers, and Olivia Wilde, that's what. From the New York Post:

Olivia Wilde took her new fiance, "Saturday Night Live" star Jason Sudeikis, on a raunchy date to a New York strip club, [the Penthouse Executive Club], booking a private room with two pole dancers before picking up the tab, sources tell Page Six.

There, a witness told us, "Olivia booked the private champagne room with two dancers. She took Jason inside, and while he wasn't allowed to touch the dancers, she could touch them ... They were in there for two hours, Olivia picked up the entire tab. Jason is a lucky guy."

We're told the wild date took place just over a month ago, after Wilde and Sudekis announced their engagement in January.

Guys, I know it's way too early for predictions, but guess who just took the top spot in the Celebslam "2013 Heroes of the Year" list? Well, no shit, Sherlock, it's Olivia Wilde. She is what all women should aspire to be: super-talented, ridiculously-hot, and insecure enough to go down on a stripper to keep her dorky partner happy. Dammit, I should have started stalking this chick years ago, before she hit it big. You were right as always, mom.

*15 Olivia Wilde pictures total in the gallery:

Olivia Wilde riding the subway in New York (3/6)

Hey weird guy picking your nose on the subway. Olivia Wilde is watching you. She told the New York Daily News:

"In New York, I take the subway everywhere, and each experience is so helpful. A crowd of people is like a petri dish for an actor. I look at the way people walk and the way they relate to each other and different looks. It's just constantly inspiring me. Also, no paparazzi have ever followed me onto the subway!"

Wait, Olivia's been watching the watchers in NYC? Oh, shit on me. Olivia, I know what you're thinking, and let me be perfectly clear: I had an itch that needed a scratching . . . and I just happened to have hand lotion on and a leather belt around my neck that day. There was no need to involve the authorities, it was a total overreaction on your part. Can't a guy just get comfortable on the train anymore? Stop judging me!

*10 Olivia Wilde pictures total in the gallery:

Olivia Wilde

Olivia Wilde at the opening of the new BoBo boutique in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (2/26)

*10 Olivia Wilde pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Monday, February 25

Olivia Wilde walking her dog in New York (pics start here)

Reality star Brandi Glanville celebrating the launch of her new book at Lavo nightclub in Las Vegas (pics start here)

LeAnn Rimes shopping in L.A. (pics start here)

Stana Katic at the 2013 Film Independent Spirit Awards in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Tom Cruise filming All You Need is Kill in Clerkenwell, London (pics start here)

Ashley Greene celebrating her birthday at Byblos in Milan, Italy (pics start here)

Goldie Hawn out for a walk in Pacific Palisades (pics start here)

January Jones leaving the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Victoria Beckham arriving the Gare du Nord train station in Paris (pics start here)

Cindy Crawford riding a bike in Malibu (pics start here)

Jessica Alba at Coldwater Canyon Park in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Brittny Gastineau leaving Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

*112 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis in Wilmington, North Carolina (8/22)

After dating for a little over a year, Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis are engaged. Sudeikis popped the question "shortly after the holidays" and Olivia said yes. Well obviously or this would be a dramatically different article. A source close to the couple told People:

"They are so excited. And very, very happy."

I love the quote about them being excited and happy. I mean, is that really necessary? Has there ever been a quote in an engagement article that didn't sound exactly like that. "Olivia doesn't love Jason, but she said yes because she didn't want to embarrass him and kill her chances of getting to host Saturday Night Live. She's already figuring out a way to cheat on him to break up the engagement."

*30 Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis pictures total in the gallery:

Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudekis in Miami (8/19)

Things we learned about Olivia Wilde last night: 1. Her vagina died during her marriage to Tao Ruspoli, and 2. After the divorce, she was a total slut (Justin Timberlake, Bradley Cooper, and Salman Rushdie tapped that ass, just to name a few). From Vulture:

Last night at These Girls, a night of monologues hosted by Glamour magazine at Joe's Pub, Olivia Wilde told the audience, which included her boyfriend, Jason Sudeikis, about the end of her first marriage. "I felt like my vagina died," she said. "Turned off. Lights out ... And you can lie to your relatives at Christmas dinner and tell them everything on the home front is just peachy. But you cannot lie to your vagina."

What followed her divorce was a man-eating sex bender that ultimately left her feeling so lonely she considered "a soft kind of lesbian relationship, just gentle kissing and scissoring." That is, until she met someone -- hi, Jason! --and fell "blissfully, hopefully, wildly in love." Wilde said she was happy in her new relationship, except for the nagging worry that the hot monogamy ("We have sex like Kenyan marathon runners") might not last.

Olivia Wilde is quite the lady -- is she royalty or something? Her comments are so elegant, she makes the Virgin Mary look like a Kardashian. Don't mistake my words for sarcasm -- I'm loving what the broad is saying, but my mom always told me to stay away from girls who refer to their pussies in the third person. But hey, what does she know? If I had listened to her, I'd be a shyster chiropractor instead of King of the Internet/international playboy/model fluffer.

*20 Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudekis pictures total in the gallery:

Olivia Wilde at a special screening of Butter at the AMC Lincoln Square Theatre in New York (9/27)

Olivia Wilde hanging out with naked chicks? Where can I buy a ticket and some popcorn? From the New York Post:

Olivia Wilde took preparing for her role as a stripper in "Butter" seriously. "We went down to Action Central Cabaret in Shreveport, Louisiana, and I got to hang out in the locker room with the strippers, and they were so sweet," she told us at the Cinema Society screening of the film at AMC Lincoln Square Thursday night. "They were really helpful. But also being able to hang out with the strippers let me know a little about the logistics of working at a strip club. I learned that what they do is incredibly difficult . . . It's really an underappreciated dance form." Wilde also read Diablo Cody's book Candy Girl about her year as a stripper. "That was the most useful thing," she said.

Excellent, Olivia is coming along nicely. To tell you guys the truth, I was getting a little tired of Olivia Wilde, the actor. I'm much more interested in Olivia Wilde, eye candy. Is she hot enough to pull if off? Dude, come on. Look at her, she's been on the cusp of being a Celebslam A-lister for the last year. She's plenty hot enough for you. The only thing she's doing wrong is that she's going to black-hearted strippers for stripping advice. Total rookie mistake. You need to go to men who frequent stripping establishments. Maybe one who happens to have a jaw like granite, 12-pack abs, and runs a dominant celebrity gossip website? Think about it, Olivia. I'll be in my mom's basement waiting patiently.

*28 Olivia Wilde pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, September 11

Olivia Wilde out and about in New York (pics start here)

Kevin Costner on the set of the Untitled Jack Ryan Project in New York (pics start here)

Emma Watson at the premiere of The Perks of Being a Wallflower at the Arclight Cinerama Dome in Hollywood (pics start here)

Anna Faris leaving Coffee Bean in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady at The Mayo Bowl charity event in Boston (pics start here)

Tulisa Contostavlos leaving the ITV Studios in London (pics start here)

Singer Rita Ora in Pristina, Kosovo (pics start here)

Rachel Hunter shopping in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Nina Dobrev at the premiere of The Perks of Being a Wallflower at the Arclight Cinerama Dome in Hollywood (pics start here)

Dianna Agron arriving at LAX airport for a flight (pics start here)

Chloe Sevigny out and about in New York (pics start here)

Mila Kunis on the set of The Angriest Man in Brooklyn in New York (pics start here)

Padma Lakshmi out and about during Fashion Week in New York (pics start here)

*131 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Olivia Wilde leaving LAX airport (8/13)

Flynet says that's Olivia Wilde getting picked up by a female friend and giving her a kiss as she arrived at LAX yesterday. "It started out as a simple kiss," Olivia will say 15 years from now. "But it lit a carnal fire in my heart that I haven't been able to extinguish to this day."

*15 Olivia Wilde pictures total in the gallery:

Olivia Wilde is one breakup away from being Jessica Simpson

Olivia Wilde admits to British talk show host Amanda De Cadenet that, after her marriage to Tao Ruspoli fell apart last year, she self-medicated with food. Fatty! Via Contact Music:

In a candid new interview with the TV talk show presenter, Wilde explains, "I lost a bunch of weight and I was really never sleeping... I moved in with a girlfriend and she said, 'You don't sleep; you sleep three hours a night!' Then you go through a period where you're self-medicating with something to fill a void because you have created a void by removing someone from you. There's a chunk missing and people fill it with all sorts of things.

"I definitely self-medicate with food, that's my thing; I love to cook. I always convince myself, 'It's better than crack cocaine, so I guess it's OK...' Food is like a hug on the inside. I'm a healthy person, but I definitely packed it on because I wanted to feel a buffer between me and the pain, because the world started getting really scary and new relationships (and) dating was a lot more painful than I ever imagined."

Olivia Wilde takes Celebslam far too seriously. Remember at the end of last year when we put together that nice little list of "The Top 11 Celebrities Santa Wants to Sit on His Lap"? Olivia got an honorable mention, but I suggested that she needed to put some meat on those bones. Boy, did she take that to heart. Sorry about that Olivia, sometimes I forget my own power, and with great power comes great responsibility (yes, I did enjoy Spider-Man). No need to Kirstie Alley yourself into the big girl section at The Gap -- you're hot just the way you are. Now that I have pull with the elite, I'm gonna start flexing my muscles. Sofia Vergara . . . I don't think you should wear underwear anymore.

*7 Olivia Wilde pictures total in the gallery: