Octomom


Octomom at a roast at XL Cabaret in New York (10/12)

Citing the need to deal with the "anxiety, exhaustion, and stress" caused from an addiction to Xanax, Nadya "Octomom" Suleman has checked into rehab. Sorry fellas, her vagina's gonna be closed for the next month. From ABC:
"Ms. Suleman has been taking Xanax that was prescribed by her doctor to deal with her anxiety but she felt she needed a treatment program to help with her recovery," her representative said in a statement to ABCNews.com. "She will be in treatment for 28 days or more if needed."

The rep noted, "Although the rehab offered to treat her at no charge, Ms. Suleman opted to pay for the program."

Suleman reportedly left her 14 children in the care of three nannies and a couple of friends.
In Octomom's defense, she has 14 kids. It's impossible *not* to be hooked on Xanax if you have 14 kids. You know what it's called when you have 14 kids and you're hooked on Xanax? It's called "how you get through the fucking day without stabbing something." If I had 14 kids, they'd be lucky to get their litter box cleaned once a week.

*25 Octomom pictures total in the gallery:

  • Octomom In Rehab 1
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Octomom in West Palm Beach (6/15)

Nadya "Octomom" Suleman told CBS 5 in Phoenix last week that her new job of rubbing herself silly on film (in the awesomely-titled porn Octomom: Home Alone) has left her feeling empowered because she can finally pay her bills without my help (me being a tax-paying citizen of California):
"I would be lying if I said it wasn't for financial gain," said Suleman. "[My kids] take precedence. It's no one's business how I live life, raise my children or generate revenue to raise my children."

The Octomom also revealed her video performance left her feeling "empowered." "My priority has always been my children," she said. "There's really nothing I won't do to support them or care for them. Every good mom or dad can identify with that, providing for their safety, their well-being."

Suleman said the video is the first time she has done anything that sexual, though she recently performed at a Florida strip club. She said she was celibate for almost 14 years and doesn't believe in premarital sex, and would not do porn where she would have to touch another person.
Man, this chick is weird. She'll do porn, as long as she doesn't have to touch anyone or have sex (sounds like all of my ex-girlfriends just before the breakup). That means that Nadya Suleman is willing to insert dildos and other objects into her overused baby-oven on the internet for $1.99/minute or until your prepaid pass is used up. Wonderful, either way, she's a dirty pornstar. Well, not even a dirty pornstar, just a dirty porn actress. At least a pornstar has the dignity to display her profession on her shoulder . . . as well as all over her face and chest.

*20 Octomom pictures total in the gallery:

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Nadya "Octomom" Suleman at the beach in L.A. (7/1)

What, you've never seen a mother of 14 in a bikini top and party hat? This is the exact image our Founding Fathers had in mind when they fought for our independence.

"To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace. And we must be ready, for Octomom" - George Washington in his first annual address to Congress, January 8, 1790

*15 Octomom bikini pictures total in the gallery:

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Octomom: Coming soon to a fetish video near you

Well this is one way to pay the rent. Octomom is trying to sell a fetish video where she whips a man in a baby diaper and bonnet. From TMZ:
The video was shot recently in her L.A. area home.  The video shows Nadya Suleman, dressed in a black corset, black leggings and her body is kinda smokin'. Octo whips the dude in the diaper, so much so he has welts on his back. The video is being shopped for sale.  We're told both Nadya and the dude have signed the model release so it can be sold.
I don't get it. What kind of sick person would beat off to a video of a grown man in a diaper being punished? And I've beat off to the Sears Catalog before so it's not like I don't have range. Not Victoria's Secret. Sears.

*10 Octomom pictures total in the gallery:

  • Octomom Fetish Video 1
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Octomom leaving Katsuya restaurant in West Hollywood (2/12)

Mom, lock up your sons. Octomom is officially on the hunt. From RadarOnline:
Love was in this air this weekend, even for single mothers-of-14, as Nadya "Octo-Mom" Suleman enjoyed her first date in four years on Saturday. An insider told RadarOnline.com that the lucky fellow’s name is A.J., and he’s a friend of one of the nannies that cares for her octuplets.

A.J. started the date bringing Suleman flowers and chocolates, then the pair had a picnic at a park near her home in La Habra, California. Some of Suleman’s kids were on hand and A.J. played with them, before hand-feeding their mom chocolates on the sunny SoCal day.

Then, it was onto dinner, where the pair headed to a Joe's Crab Shack location in nearby Puente Hills, where Nadya left out holding A.J. on one arm, and a single rose he gave her in another.
What guy in his right mind would want to date this crazy bitch? Banging a chick who's had 14 kids is exactly like burying a hooker in your backyard: in both cases you don't feel anything. Besides -- considering how much collagen she has in her lips -- if a dude really wanted to be intimate with that much latex, he could just date a blow-up doll . . . or do something apparently no guy's ever done with Nadya -- wear a condom.

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Nadya Suleman (aka "Octomom") outside her home in L.A. (1/15)

+ Anderson Cooper is one standup dude [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler's x-rated naughtiness [PopEater]
+ Rebecca Gayheart boob slip (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Selena Gomez is trapped in a love triangle [DailyFill]
+ Emmanuelle Chriqui has one nice ass [Holy Taco]

+ Surprise, the Jersey Shore cast is obnoxious on a plane [A Socialite's Life]
+ The 99 Most Desirable Women of 2010 [AskMen]
+ Why yes, you are shirtless [Double Viking]
+ One of the Real Housewives is posing for Playboy [I'm Not Obsessed]

LIST OF THE DAY: The 10 Most Kick-Ass Action Figures

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Octomom bikini pics!

These were making the rounds late last week. Not sure when they were taken. Judging by the level of the ocean, probably around high tide a few Saturdays ago in Malibu. Aside from that, I know what you're thinking: Octomom's at the beach but you don't see a chair, an umbrella, a beach ball, her purse, her car keys, a novelty moose head, etc. She's actually storing all that stuff in her uterus. Thing's like a clown car. Really comes in handy sometimes.

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Nadya Suleman (aka "Octomom") at Elegant Nails in L.A. (12/5)

+ Sarah Chalke from Scrubs looks great in a bikini [Hollywood Tuna]

+ Megan Fox's "hacked" nude photos [The Superficial]
+ I want this celebrity tattoo [College Humor
+ Vikki Blows is famous in England, naked [IDLYITW]
+ Travis Barker got paid [Wonderwall]

+ Tila Tequila and her useless tits out and about [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Rihanna got yet another tattoo [OK! Magazine]
+ Christina Serratos looking all kinds of hot [Popoholic]
+ Dumbasses try to extort Uncle Jesse [A Socialite's Life]

+ A little something for the ladies [Dlisted]
+ College chick with educated nipples [Double Viking]
+ I want one of these. Bad. [Busted Coverage]
+ When famous men cry [Attuworld]

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Nadya Suleman (aka the "Octomom") at San Clemente State Beach in San Clemente, CA (9/5)

Is it just me or does Octomom look kinda hot in that picture? Wow, I can't believe I just said that. From the Chicago Sun Times:
Here's one of the weirdest items of the day: I've learned the Octomom herself, Nadya Suleman, made a request to the Jackson family to attend Michael's funeral Thursday night. Even though she had never met the King of Pop -- and the funeral obviously was restricted to family and very close friends -- Suleman reportedly sent a long, rambling message to Katherine Jackson. In it the mother of 14 wrote Michael was her "spiritual soul mate" and she needed to be at the funeral "in order to give me closure." Needless to say, there was no response to the crazy message from the Jackson camp.
It's easy to see why Octomom thinks she was Michael's "spiritual soul mate" -- they both surrounded themselves with children. Of course the real reason why she felt such a close connection to Michael was because he was one of the few people in Southern California considered a bigger hazard to young kids than her -- which is probably why she feels so close to Tommy Lee and Rebecca Gayheart as well.

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Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: