Paris and Nicky Hilton at the "Bongo Virus New Year's Eve 2009 Party" in Sydney, Australia (12/31)
Despite the clusterfuck that is the current global economy, Paris and Nicky Hilton each netted $750k to host a New Year's Eve party in Australia . . . which buys a lot of nose candy if you catch my drift . . . not that the Hilton sisters are into that sort of thing . . . nope, not at all. From the
New York Post:
A well-placed Aussie spy said they were paid by Bongo jeans and the two toured Melbourne before flying off to Sydney with close, greasy pal Brandon Davis and Nicky's boyfriend, David Katzenberg. In Sydney, the Hiltons' local pal Mehmet Gulasi was pulled over early New Year's Day with cocaine in his car. A local paper reported Gulasi told cops he was "on an important errand" and on his way to pick up the Hiltons and their posse. (Source)
Paying Paris Hilton to promote clothing is like paying K-Fed to promote condoms. Neither one wears them. Besides, I could have saved Bongo that $750K easily. If you really want to get Paris into a pair of jeans, there's only one way to do it -- put them on some random dude. As far as being a spokesperson for a clothing line, there is a company I think Paris might be a better fit for: The Gap.

Nicky Hilton bikini pics!
Nicky Hilton in Miami (July '06)

Nicky Hilton leaving a medical center in Beverly Hills (6/24)
If you look closely, you'll see that Nicky's sandals are made of lead. Once she dipped below 85 pounds, her doctor order her to wear them as a precaution against strong winds.


Nicky Hilton and David Katzenberg in Beverly Hills yesterday
Wow. You can just feel the raw sexual energy between Nicky and her boyfriend David Katzenberg. I swear, kids today, get a room!
[INFDaily.com]

Nicky Hilton and boyfriend David Katzenberg in L.A. (3/11)
y God there's nearly 61 pounds of weight on Nicky's legs. Her femurs could shatter at any second!


Nicky and Paris Hilton leaving Villa Lounge in L.A. (1/25)
Is that . . is that a vagina on Nicky Hilton's dress? Holy shit I think it is. If you squint your eyes and imagine that thing three times as gaping, it almost looks like a naked Paris Hilton.


Nicky Hilton bikini pics
It's that time again, the time of the year when celebrities take a break from their important lives to travel far and yonder to distant lands. And then wear bikinis. Here's Nicky Hilton in Hawaii yesterday. After that "Gummi Bear" post from last hour, it's a relief to get some pics up of a beautiful woman. No no, not Nicky--if you squint your eyes you can kinda make one out behind her . . . actually that may be a beach chair. No big deal, I've masturbated to less.*
*thank you IKEA catalog

I don't know who Casey Johnson is but she sounds a tad slow. Of all people to pick to be the godmother of her newly adopted Kazakhstani baby, she chooses Nicky Hilton. From the New York Post:
At Casey's recent baby shower at an L.A. restaurant, Paris' little sister was out on a balcony smoking a cigarette when the Johnson & Johnson heiress got up to give a speech. "Casey asked Nicky to come in, but Nicky couldn't be bothered," said a source. When Johnson said Nicky was "so kind, and smart, and wonderful," Hilton, who had popped her head in so she didn't have to extinguish her cigarette, "rolled her eyes and went back out on the balcony. It was nuts." (Source)
C'mon, Nicky Hilton?!? This kid would be better off on fire or in Kazakhstan where it could grow up to be the town's number four prostitute ... [cue Borat voice] Verrrry Niiiiice! If Hilton's past experience raising chihuahuas is any indication of this kid's future, look for the baby to be wandering the streets next week looking for food and a clean diaper.

I can’t even to pretend to know what’s going on in these pictures of Paris Hilton and a man resembling her sister Nicky. I don’t know, maybe Paris is just bored with men and she’s taking a stab at this whole incest thing. My pastor always says you shouldn’t knock something until you try it--except anal. He actually worked that piece of advice into one of his sermons.

If you've always yearned for a tell-all book that attempts to explain why Paris Hilton acts like a Thai hooker with children to feed and rent to pay, today's your lucky day! Jerry Oppenheimer, author of the new book "House of Hilton," explains why he wrote about Paris when he could have been doing something better like sleeping or skipping rocks across a lake:
"Every generation has an It girl and Paris became this generation's It girl," says Oppenheimer. "My goal in doing this book was to figure out how she became who she is. I came away from this research with a lot of sympathy for Paris. I came away feeling a bit sympathetic for her because I don't think she had a chance to do anything besides what she is doing."
Oppenheimer's book contains some great anecdotes about each Hilton:
Nicky Hilton:
Childhood friends were wary of Nicky because of her family. "Nicky wasn't included in a lot because she was rich, because she had the Hilton name ¯ you know, she was the first kid to bring a cell phone to school, so all of that made it difficult, and Paris already had a reputation at the school," remembers Gini Tangalakis, the mother of one of Nicky's childhood friends. "It didn't appear to me that there was much parental involvement."
Big Kathy (Paris' grandmother):
Big Kathy's first daughter, Kathy (Paris' mother), was conceived in the back seat of a 1957 black Chevrolet convertible with boyfriend Larry Avanzino. The couple then had a shotgun wedding to please their families. It would be the first of four for her.
Kathy and Rick Hilton:
During one incident at a Hilton hotel, Rick and Kathy left their dogs alone in a suite for three days, without walking them. "There was dog shit and dog piss all over the place," a source told Oppenheimer.
Paris Hilton:
At Hilton hotels, Paris demanded the same VIP treatment that her parents received. One insider told Oppenheimer she "used the saunas in one hotel to go to the bathroom because they were too lazy to get out of the sauna to use the actual bathroom.
And I thought my family was weird because my Mom forced me to call her 'Frank' after her operation. At least I was conceived in a car that had anti-lock brakes.