Nick Lachey

Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey in Miami in 2004

Could Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson reunite now that they're both single? Sure, why not. From the Chicago Sun Times:

"Nick has never stopped loving Jessica," says a longtime Lachey buddy who also has worked for him. According to both that source and a woman who in Simpson's inner circle, the ex-couple also have been in close touch since both of their most recent relationships ended.

Simpson finally was dumped by Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, and Lachey and TV personality Vanessa Minnillo have gone their separate ways.

Only time will tell what happens with Simpson and Lachey, but my sources tell me the duo have had a number of very long -- more than an hour -- phone conversations, especially since Simpson's split with Romo became public.

The fact that Nick's still pining for Jessica can best be explained with a simple analogy:  When someone is used to feasting on filet mignon every night, they'll find that when they suddenly lower themselves to ground chuck, they'll soon long for the days when they were consuming that high quality meat . . . even if that meat has since been pulverized into roast beef.

Vanessa Minnillo dumped because she was too greedy?

According to his publicist sources, Nick "My Career Is Going Nowhere" Lachey was the one who actually dumped Vanessa "Future Looks Bright" Minnillo, and not the other way around. From the Chicago Sun Times:

"Frankly, he was pretty bored," said a longtime Lachey pal, who says he's been seeing this splitsville situation coming "for at least the past few months. ... Nick just didn't find he and Vanessa had all that much in common anymore -- with the exception of their shared experiences over the three years they had dated."

Another source close to Lachey's management team tells me there were concerns Minnillo may have been a bit more interested in material possessions than Lachey would have liked. "I don't think her publicly announcing she was expecting an engagement ring of 'at least 10 carats' went over too well," the source said.

Nick didn't break up with Vanessa because she was being greedy by asking for a ten carat ring. He just couldn't afford one. Considering the guy hasn't worked for the better half of the decade, Vanessa would have been lucky to get a ring pop from him. If Vanessa really wants to sport something that'll shine, she shouldn't date a 90's popstar -- she should date Chris Brown.

*53 Vanessa Minnillo pictures total in the gallery:

Vanessa Minnillo at the Reebok Easytone party in Beverly Hills (6/23)

Safe to say Vanessa Minnillo is over Nick Lachey. Just a few hours after her rep released a statement confirming the couple's breakup, Vanessa was spotted at the Reebok Easytone party in Beverly Hills flirting with a ton of dudes. An eyewitness told Life & Style:

"She certainly wasn't moping in the corner or looking upset over her breakup at all. I saw her talking to three or four really cute guys. She totally seemed to be flirting and didn't look like she was upset or anything."

Actually, she was just flirting with one. In fairness to this witness, because of my incredible strength (and impossible stamina in bed), I'm often mistaken for "three or four" men.

*10 Vanessa Minnillo pictures total in the gallery:

Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey split up

Remember yesterday when I said it was weird that Vanessa Minnillo was still dating Nick Lachey even though she clearly hates him. Oh hey, you'll never guess who broke up a few hours after that post. From Us Weekly:

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo have split, reps for both stars tell Usmagazine.com.

"They have amicably split but remain good friends who still greatly care for one another," Minnillo's rep tells Us.

Adds a source: "It was an amicable break-up. They walk away from it still friends."

Says another, "They still care about each other very much. This is what's best for both of them."

"They walk away from it still friends" -- and in Vanessa's case, Nick's creditor. Seriously, he must owe her thousands. In hindsight, maybe Nick's three-year-plan of "not working at all" wasn't the best idea.

Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey leaving Il Sole restaurant in West Hollywood (6/15)

Despite numerous reports about their breakup (here and here), Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey are still dating. But I wouldn't call their relationship exactly healthy. From the New York Daily News:

Vanessa Minnillo may be working things out with Nick Lachey, but she still loves acting like a single gal. The actress danced, downed tequila shots and partied until sunrise at the joint birthday bash of nightlife impresarios Alan Philips and Josh Shames at C5 in Atlantic City’s Chelsea Hotel. Says one reveler: “Vanessa was saying, ‘I like my boyfriend, but I love my independence.’?”

If Vanessa loves her independence so much, why is she still with Nick? Obviously she must enjoy the benefits and prestige that come with dating LOL -- I was almost able to type that without laughing. Clearly Nick must be threatening her.

Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey arriving to My House nightclub in West Hollywood (5/13)

Despite multiple rumors of their impending breakup, Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey were seen at My House nightclub Wednesday night. It's actually not what it looks like. They're not back together. Nick just wanted to split cab fare. Seriously, when's the last time that guy worked?

Nick Lachey is on the hunt for some ass

The National Enquirer claimed last week that Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are all but broken up. Vanessa's supposedly been "auditioning" guys to be her new boyfriend in anticipation of a split. Not one to be left out, Nick Lachey's getting in on the action, too. According to Star, Nick was acting "very single" at the Kentucky Derby earlier this month:

Nick and his brother, Drew, arrived at the Derby Spectacular at Glassworks on May 2 at 1:15 a.m. An eyewitness tells Star that Nick immediately zeroed in on curvy blonde Emily Gimmel, star of SOAPnet's new reality series, Southern Belles.

"She's a dead ringer for Jessica; I thought Nick's eyes were going to pop out of his head!" As Nick, 35, chatted with the 24-year-old stunner, "he was making it clear he was into her," the eyewitness adds. "Emily laughed, flipped her hair and flirted up a storm. She was obviously interested too."

After two hours huddled together, Nick and Emily exchanged numbers — and a huge hug. But that's not all the action Nick got. The night before, he kissed another young hottie at the club Prime!

Hasn't Nick learned his lesson by now? Over the years, I've found that if you really want to be happy in a relationship, you never date buxom blondes. You date brunettes red heads mutes. Hearing that Nick's moved on so quickly must be truly devastating for Vanessa. If only there were some 6'1" guy out there with abs of steel and shoulders that barely fit through doorways that was available . . .*
 
*Don't look at me. I'm 6'3"

Vanessa Minnillo leaving a salon in Beverly Hills (4/30)

Vanessa Minnillo and Nick Lachey are having some trouble. The National Enquirer claims that Vanessa is "auditioning" guys behind Nick's back to be her new boyfriend. The reason for the breakup is apparently the barbed wire tattoo that Nick has around his right arm. Vanessa can't stand to be with a guy who once thought that looked cool. Right? An insider told the mag:

"Nick has no clue she's been auditioning guys to be her new boyfriend. Vanessa thinks life with Nick has become dull. They've been having problems for months, growing apart and fighting over everything from Vanessa's party lifestyle to Nick's desire to settle down, get married, and start a family. Vanessa wants to get out and live while she's still young, and she's told those closest to her that she's not ready to be tied down by Nick."

Mild-mannered Nick, 35, seemed to be the last thing on Vanessa's mind during recent nights out on the town. On April 17, the good time gal flipped for a hot young guy at Beso restaurant's Kiss Lounge in Hollywood.

"Vanessa was acting very single and flirty and introduced herself to the cute, dark-haired guy," said an eyewitness. "The two hit it off, and only 15 minutes later they were cuddling and holding hands. When they guy made a reference to Nick, Vanessa said they're as good as broken up."

Well as long as she's interviewing boyfriends, I might as well submit my resume:

Goal: Your pants. On my floor. *wink*

Strengths: Conversation skills. Shiatsu Massage. Lifting impossibly heavy things over my head. Madden '09.

Weaknesses: My huge cock can be intimidating for some. Sometimes I steal.

References: Available on request.

She'd be a fool not to hire and then blow me.