Recently in Nick Carter Category

Paris Hilton in Las Vegas in 2006

As mentioned last week, author Mark Ebner's Hollywood tell-all Six Degrees of Paris Hilton hits store shelves next week. The juiciest parts of the book come from Ebner's interview with Darnell Riley, a man who bought 14 hours of Paris Hilton home videos from Russian thieves. Excerpt time!

Paris and Nick Carter at the Las Ventanas resort in Cabo San Lucas: "The video opens with Nick holding the camera as Paris opens her luggage. She pulls out a huge ziplock bag full of weed. She flew drugs into Mexico. Unbelievable. Nick comments on how this tape muster never get out, and Paris says, 'Yeah, the Paris Hilton Tape, Part Two.' She breaks the weed down, and rolls a fat joint. They smoke for about ten minutes, go out to the pool, talk a little shit. They have lunch poolside, go back to their room and Paris shows a tattoo on her ass of Nick's name, and he shows one of hers on his wrist." (They also spot Kelsey Grammer having lunch with Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, as well as Dennis Rodman poolside, and Paris makes a joke about his endowment, possibly from experience.)

And finally: Paris and Brandon Davis are approached by two effeminate black men at an MTV party who invite them to an event for singer/actress Eve's new clothing line. Davis initially asks if there will be any women at the party, before they exchange phone numbers. Then, according to Darnell, "On the way to the the Jeep, Brandon says, 'Stupid fucks,' talking about the black guys, and Paris says 'Dirty niggers,' and they start laughing and jump into the Jeep. You could tell that Paris had tried to erase the tape, because that part had a blur in it, but the words were clear."

Drugs, nudity, stereotyping . . . what more could you ask for from a Paris Hilton video. "Self-immolation" you say? Well played sir, well played. But I'll call that suggestion with a "swimming in shark-infested waters during her time of the month" and raise you a "juggling with chainsaws in the tiger's exhibit at the S.F. Zoo." Now, before you come back over the top and go "all in," just remember we're talking about Paris here . . . so wear a few condoms.

Nick Carter and Paris Hilton in 2004

Reading stuff like this makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. From the New York Post:

SIGHTINGS: NICK Carter telling the doorman at Body English in Las Vegas that if his ex, Paris Hilton, showed up, "Don't let her in." (Source)

Someone just got their name erased off that list of people to target if I snap and go on a spree killing. What? Don't act like you don't have one, too.

Nick Carter has sex with Debra LaFave

Nick Carter lost his virginity to Debra LaFave, the blond Florida teacher who had sex with a 13-year-old student:

September 29, 2006 -- NICK Carter, 26, will never forget the first girl he had sex with - because she grew up to become the infamous blond Florida teacher who bedded a 13-year-old student. The former Backstreet Boy told Howard Stern on Sirius Satellite Radio yesterday that he dated Debbie LaFave, 23, for 18 months when they were classmates, and busted up with her when he learned from pals "she had cheated on me with a girl."

He kept quiet when the scandal broke because, "my publicist is like, stay as far away from that [bleep] as you can." Of all the women he's slept with, LeFave was "probably No. 1. But maybe that's just because it was my first. Actually a lot of the girls I've just had the best sex with or best anything with have been just normal girls."

So the woman Nick Carter lost his virginity to later nailed another girl and then a 13-year-old student? Ummm...wow? How do you even react to that type of news? I'm sure Nick was proud of banging Debra at the time but it's not looking like such a conquest anymore. She's like the Mexican-American War of losing your virginity. Sure it was pretty impressive when the US Army marched into Mexico City and ran up Old Glory above the city. After 150 years and about 9 failed Mexican governments, it's not really looking as impressive.

And another thing: where were these hot teachers when I was in school? And why are they so damn eager to blow their students? The most I ever got in high school was the occasional reach-around from my civics teacher, Mr. Johnson. It may sound a little creepy--possibly even gay, but it's nice to know someone recognizes your hard work.