Mariah's friends have it all wrong, Nick is a huge Hello Kitty buff
ariah Carey's friends are giving the singer's marriage to Nick Cannon "six months, tops." Why? Because Nick's a ginormous pussy. From Life & Style magazine:
The insider claims that the reason behind that gloom-and-doom prediction is Nick's need to do everything for his diva bride. While Mariah likes being waited on hand and foot, that routine won't work in the long run."Nick does whatever Mariah wants him to — he's like her puppy," the insider said. "It seems like Nick spends more time in the stores with Mariah's credit card than he does with Mariah herself. Mariah's assistants and friends call him 'Whipped Nick' behind his back. They have little respect for him because he won't stand up for himself." (Source)
Can you blame Nick for being such a pussy? The last person to tell Mariah 'no' was this chick. You think a shark did that shit? Trust me, that was all Mariah. Besides, becoming a little bitch just to please your sugar mamma isn't a new concept, it's done all the time these days. See: Stedman, David Gest, and . . . what's Rosie's girlfriend's name?
[BauerGriffinOnline]
Mariah Carey in Tokyo (6/1)
Even though she's worth roughly a kajillion dollars and none of them were invited to her and Nick Cannon's wedding, Mariah Carey still wants wedding gifts from her friends. An insider told the New York Post:
"Mariah's assistant, Gina, sent out over 100 e-mails to her wealthy friends letting them know that she's registered at Bergdorf Goodman if they want to buy her a present. It's odd because she's not even having a big wedding party or anything. It was assumed they'd have a big celebration when they got back, but no. They just want the gifts." On the list are "fine china, very expensive silver stemware" and other items. (Source)
They asked for presents from people they didn't even invite? With that kind of behavior hopefully the "other items" Mariah and Nick registered for included "taste," "class," and "decorum." And what do those two need from Bergdorf Goodman anyway? With Mariah's penchant for emotional breakdowns, it would've made more sense if they had registered at Pfizer . . . or Planned Parenthood.*
*It's the gift that keeps on giving.
Nick Cannon's on a short leash
ariah Carey's keeping new husband Nick Cannon on a short leash. Nick was trying to have fun with friends Diddy and Quincy Jones at Saturday night's opening of the MGM Grand at Foxwoods when bitch had to ruin everything. A source told the New York Post:
"He was summoned home by her at 1 in the morning. He didn't look happy about it." (Source)
God knows what Mariah needed, her pillow fluffed, her ass wiped, the TV volume turned down -- something stupid. You know that Mariah sees Nick as nothing more than a butler that she occasionally fucks. In other words, yeah, healthier than most marriages.
[WENN]
Nick Cannon in his new Maserati
Nick Cannon's marriage to Mariah Carey is already paying off. Pacific Coast News says:
Nick Cannon races away from his hotel in his brand new Maserati. Newly-wed Nick picked up his new car from the Ferrari-Maserati dealership in Beverly Hills. Maybe it was a wedding present from new wife, Mariah Carey...?
Or maybe it was a present because it's Wednesday and she's crazy. From Nick's point of view -- when he and Mariah finally divorce -- I'd consider the marriage a failure if he doesn't end up with like 87 cars and four islands.
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon surface
Since I know some of you care about this, here's Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon at the Waverly Inn last night in New York -- their first pics together since what many are calling the most shocking wedding since my sister's Barbie married my Cobra Commander action figure. I never pegged her as the bad boy type.
PICS: People has the exclusive photos from the surprise Mariah Carey-Nick Cannon wedding in this week's issue. Carey told the mag:
"We really do feel we are soulmates. I never felt a love like this was in the cards for me."
Cannon added:
"She is beautiful on the outside and 10 times as beautiful on the inside." (Source)
Also beautiful on the inside? Her wallet.
PRENUP: Fox News claims the reports that Mariah didn't have a prenup are false. Reporter Roger Friedman wrote:
Mariah apparently told a mutual pal of ours: "Anyone who thinks we didn't have a prenup is smoking something!" (Source)
TATTOO: Oprah revealed on her show today that Mariah got the words "Mrs. Cannon" tattooed on her back before the wedding.
BOOBS: Still big.
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are married
Though news of their relationship was only revealed this week, Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey may already be married. And the bitch didn't even get a prenup. According to the New York Post, the couple was secretly married at Carey's new home in the Bahamas. A source close to Carey revealed to the paper:
"They have been smitten with each other for days, weeks. And she's always had a crush on him. Everyone is happy to see her happy. And it could work out - some people know each other for five years and get divorced, maybe this is true instant love."Not everyone is so over-the-moon.
"There was no pre-nup - there wasn't time," said another worried source. (Source)
This story seems surprising until you realize that, at her core, Mariah Carey is fucking insane. You don't love butterflies that much without having a screw or two loose. Why wouldn't she marry a 27-year-old dude without a prenup? I mean, she was smitten with him literally for days. Guys like that only come around every few weeks or so. You can't let opportunities like that slip away or before you know it you're staring at the bottom of a whiskey bottle wondering where the past forty years went. My uncle always taught me to live life like there was no tomorrow. He had no savings account.
UPDATE: "Family member" Linda Cannon just confirmed to E! that Nick and Mariah are married:
"Yes, we know. [Nick] called us and told us all about it. We are happy for him. If that is what he wants then we are happy for him. I'm not going to give you any details, but we are happy for him." (Source)
Ashton Kutcher, if this is the work of you and your stupid prank show, may you die a thousand painful deaths.
[WENN]
Nick Cannon is a regifter
ariah Carey is wearing a hand-me-down engagement ring (right). Fiancé Nick Cannon gave the same $2.5 million ring to Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks when he proposed to her last year (left). TMZ says:
A rep for Cannon's ex tells TMZ Selita did return the white diamond ring to Nick and wishes the couple well. (Source)
What do you think is the more surprising thing about this story: the fact that Nick Cannon could afford a $2.5 million ring, or the fact that Nick Cannon could afford a $2.5 million ring? We're talking about a guy whose career highlight are his 5 appearances on Hollywood Squares. Did I miss something? Does he have some Powerball winnings that we don't know about?
[INFDaily.com]
Mariah Carey engaged?
I didn't even know these two were dating but I guess Mariah Carey might be engaged to Nick Cannon. People magazine said:
Wearing a humongous, gleaming ring on her left hand, Mariah Carey stayed close to Nick Cannon at the afterparty for her new film, Tennessee, on Saturday night. The pair held hands at the bash at Cadillac Lounge at Tenjune, which followed the movie's premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival. The two also looked cozy in Vegas on April 14. When asked about a possible engagement, Cannon's rep had no comment; Carey's was unable to be reached for comment. (Source)
Receiving an obnoxiously huge diamond ring from you man doesn't always mean you're engaged . . . just ask Kobe's wife! I'm just being cynical. These two will almost certainly buck the Hollywood trend and stay happily married for weeks to come. Why shouldn't they? Just because Nick's gotten more ass than Mariah's got personalities doesn't mean they won't work -- it just means Nick won't have to cheat!
