Mariah Carey leaving the Copacabana Palace Hotel in Rio de Janeiro (10/24)
Is alcohol ruining Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon's marriage? Sure, why not. Probably because it's so delicious! From the
National Enquirer:
Although Nick has been incredibly supportive of his superstar wife since they married in April 2008, he's fed up with her excessive partying and is blaming it for Mariah's inability to get pregnant, as well as her recent weight gain and bouts of insomnia, say insiders.
"Right now the situation is potentially explosive," a source divulged to The ENQUIRER. "They're still very much in love, but their problems are beginning to affect their marriage. Nick is demanding that Mariah cut back on the partying immediately. He hates that he's left to clean up the mess. The day after her boozing sessions is a nightmare for Nick because Mariah sleeps much of the day and then wakes up in a foul mood, and they end up fighting."
If Mariah is absolutely certain she wants to start a family, she could always do what most women in Hollywood do when they want to have a child:
in vitro surrogate K-Fed. I heard he actually impregnated a chick through email one time.
Mariah Carey Halloween Costume Mariah Carey and her Nick Cannon at M2 club in New York (10/31)
Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey at his 29th birthday party at The Bank nightclub in Las Vegas (10/10)
I guess when your wife is worth roughly 10,000 times what you are, she can call you whatever the hell she wants. From the
New York Post:
Mariah Carey has a special name for husband Nick Cannon. At Cannon's birthday party at club Bank in Las Vegas the other night, the songstress presented him with a cake shaped like deejay turntables and inscribed with the message, "Happy Birthday DJ Sex Fingers -- Love, M.C.C." Carey then performed three of her songs for Cannon, including "I Want To Know What Love Is," before turning the party over to Cannon to dee jay.
Sorry Mariah, but calling Nick "DJ Sex Fingers" qualifies as copyright infringement -- the name already belongs to Samantha Ronson. Besides, what dude wants to be known for the sexiness of his fingers? If a guy's going to be nicknamed after his anatomy, he'd prefer to be called something like "DJ Horse Cock" or "DJ Can Lick His Own Eyebrows." Of course in Nick's case, a more fitting title for him would be "DJ Neutered." Just look at him in that picture. That is one defeated man.
Mariah Carey has a nice house
Mariah Carey's (and Nick Cannon's) new home in Bel Air
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon leaving Mr. Chow restaurant in Beverly Hills (2/19)
"All the right reasons" being she wants to make sure she has a girl and she doesn't want to get fat. Awww, what a heartwarming tale of self-sacrifice. From the
Chicago Sun Times:
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon really want to have a child together, but it's sounding more and more like adoption will be the preferred route to parenthood for them. Carey is said to be worried about massive weight gain if she got pregnant, plus she wants to have a child ASAP. The singer also is definite about wanting a little girl -- another reason for the desire to adopt. (Source)
So, Mariah wants a child without actually making one? Sounds like Nick's getting the raw end of this deal. Obviously adopted children these days are becoming the "must have" accessory in Hollywood,* but since when is it done to accommodate a person's time frame, narcissism, and gender preference? If Mariah is really concerned about rescuing a child from a life of hardship and pain, she doesn't need to adopt -- she needs to have her uterus removed.
*See: David Banda (Madonna), Maddox Jolie-Pitt (Brangelina), and Khloe Kardashian (Right?)
Nick Cannon actually got a job
Now he doesn't have to ask Mariah for a raise in his allowance! From
AP:
America's got Nick Cannon as the new host of "America's Got Talent." The musician, comedian, actor and producer will preside over the NBC talent competition series when it returns for a fourth season this summer, the network announced Monday.
This variety show is the first of "multiple projects we are looking to do with Nick at NBC," said network chief Ben Silverman. Cannon takes over "America's Got Talent" from Jerry Springer, who announced his departure last week. (Source)
Mariah will never allow Nick to take this job. It might require him to stay out later than 8 PM on school nights. You just know Nick's got to be desperate for any type of work at this point -- especially if he's willing to take Jerry Springer's sloppy seconds. Either that or he's looking for a way out of the house. Giving your wife manicures and pedicures can get tiring after a month or two. Something else that he's probably getting tired of: the kiddie leash he always has to wear. On the bright side, at least Mariah sprung for the 20-footer. That's a lot of independence.
Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey in Aspen (12/24)
Do you think Mariah Carey realizes Nick Cannon is actually her husband and not just an assistant she's having an affair with? I say no. From the
National Enquirer:
When Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon topped by the AXE Fix Club on Jan. 17, Nick had to ask permission to say hello to his good friend, DJ Steve Aoki, up in the DJ booth! (Print Edition - 2/2)
Sounds like Nick's more whipped than Jesus.* For me to be as infatuated with a woman as apparently Nick is with Mariah, she'd have to posses three distinct qualities: 1. Have a soft serve ice cream dispenser mounted on her forehead, 2. Poop lottery tickets, and 3. Be a mute. Of course we all know the real reason why Nick would never even think of leaving Mariah:
her looks her money she's stronger than he is.
*Too soon?
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon at the World Music Awards in Monte Carlo, Monaco (11/9)
Nick Cannon didn't get to seal the deal with Mariah Carey until after the two were married. The two dated for two or so months before getting married in the Bahamas in April. In an interview with the Daily Mirror, Mariah said:
"It's not that we had NO intimacy, we just didn't have complete intimacy. It's just me, and my feelings. I definitely don't want to push it on anybody else. But we both have similar beliefs, and I just thought that it would be so much more special if we waited until after we were married. And it was, and it still is." (Source)
Kids, do any of you know what Derek Jeter, Grant Hill, Luis Miguel, Eminem, Tyrese, Rick Fox, Eric Benet, and Eddie Murphy all have in common? If you guessed that they all got to milk the cow without buying it, give yourself a gold star. Come on, Mariah was being plowed by Jeter BEFORE she divorced Tommy Mottola, but now she's worried about her virtue? I think Mariah is already sick of Nick and is trying to pull a Madge on him. Any bets on how long until Glitter is linked to some other youngster? But don't worry about that Nick, hang in there. Dummy didn't sign a pre-nup so you're gonna be on easy street before long. And by "easy street," I mean you won't have to prostitute yourself out for money . . . and by "prostitute yourself out for money," I mean you won't have to make Drumline 2.
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon outside the Dorchester Hotel in London (11/6)
+ Janice Dickinson is a nutcase [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Abigail Clancy is freaking gorgeous [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Adriana Lima's new super sexy Miracle Bra commercial [Bastardly]
+ Lizzy Caplan Nude Video #3 from True Blood [Egotastic!]
+ Candice Michelle showing off her amazing body [Popoholic]
+ Enough luggage Mariah? [I'm Not Obsessed]
+ What the hell is Beyonce wearing? [Dlisted]
+ Rachel Bilson slips a nip [College Humor]
+ Sarah Palin didn't know Africa was a continent [A Socialite's Life]
+ Selena Gomez and Carrie Underwood are fighting [Lossip]
+ Is Taylor Swift pregnant? You do the math. [Yeeeah!]
+ One of these celebrity butts is not like the other [CityRag]
+ Lohan hooked up with Justin Timberlake [popbytes]
+ Charlie Sheen's marriage is already on the rocks [Gabby Babble]
Mariah's friends have it all wrong, Nick is a huge Hello Kitty buff
ariah Carey's friends are giving the singer's marriage to Nick Cannon "six months, tops." Why? Because Nick's a ginormous pussy. From Life & Style magazine:
The insider claims that the reason behind that gloom-and-doom prediction is Nick's need to do everything for his diva bride. While Mariah likes being waited on hand and foot, that routine won't work in the long run."Nick does whatever Mariah wants him to — he's like her puppy," the insider said. "It seems like Nick spends more time in the stores with Mariah's credit card than he does with Mariah herself. Mariah's assistants and friends call him 'Whipped Nick' behind his back. They have little respect for him because he won't stand up for himself." (Source)
Can you blame Nick for being such a pussy? The last person to tell Mariah 'no' was this chick. You think a shark did that shit? Trust me, that was all Mariah. Besides, becoming a little bitch just to please your sugar mamma isn't a new concept, it's done all the time these days. See: Stedman, David Gest, and . . . what's Rosie's girlfriend's name?
[BauerGriffinOnline]
