Nate Naylor

Scarlett Johansson at Tod's party during Paris Fashion Week (10/1)

Scarlett Johansson is single again. After dating for the past eight months or so, she and boyfriend Nate Naylor have split up. Probably because he's a pussy. From the Daily Mail:

Sultry Hollywood actress Scarlett Johansson has broken up with her boyfriend Nate Naylor.

The 27-year-old Lost In Translation star, left, met the dashing advertising executive in January - after splitting up with  52-year-old actor Sean Penn - and the romance progressed quickly, with Nate, 38, all but moving into her Manhattan apartment. But last month she was pictured cuddling up to and holding hands with her ex-boyfriend, actor Jared Leto, 40, during a speech at a political rally in North Carolina.

"They never officially lived together, but Nate has moved all of his stuff out and back into his apartment," says a source. "The relationship is over. It has not been amicable."

My friends, I know what this looks like, but let me assure you that Scarlett is not -- I repeat NOT -- in Jennifer Love Hewitt Land. I know, there are certainly many similarities, but the story is in the differences. Here are some examples for your viewing pleasures: Both are butterfaces; both have supernaturally spectacular tits; both were hotter a few years ago than they are now; and both like to go slumming when looking for Mr. Goodbar. The differences? Scarlett at least tries to dress like a woman, whereas Jennifer is in full Larry David frump mode. Scarlett still has a chance to pull out of this tailspin, but if we see her pumping her own gas wearing flip flops and a sweatsuit from the 1970's, then we can consider her a lost cause.

*15 Scarlett Johansson pictures total in the gallery:

Scarlett Johansson out and about in New York (5/29)

What is it about Scarlett Johansson that draws the pussies of the dating world to her like moths to a flame, or Kirstie Alley to burgers with the word "triple" in their name? She needs to date a lumberjack or something. From the National Enquirer:

Scarlett Johansson's new man, Nate Taylor, is no superhero! The Avengers star and her boyfriend recently attempted to enjoy and evening at hip New York nightclub The Electric Room, but an out-of-control male fan upset the A-list actress.

"He just kept throwing his body toward her, dancing wildly, trying to talk to her and get her attention," an onlooker tells Star magazine. "He was relentless!" The 27 year-old actress was "visibly frustrated," but Nate, 38, "watched like a deer in headlights," the source reveals. Finally, Scarlett, in true Avenger form, "jumped up and alerted security, who built a wall of buff bouncers between the sexy movie actress and the threatening fan." (Print Edition - 6/15)

Scarlett Johansson is gonna have to make a decision soon. She's either gonna be with a mamma's boy who looks like he can handle himself like Ryan Reynolds, or be with a true sociopath like Sean Penn. There's no middle ground in Tinseltown, which is sad to say, but that's why guys like me are in such demand. I'm the definition of a man's man, Scarlett. I'll choke out any dancing bear that even slightly annoys you, and my oral skills have been favorably compared to prison lesbians. Do I make movies? No. But I'm perfectly willing to bring a camera phone to bed, just give us a chance, baby.

*13 Scarlett Johansson pictures total in the gallery:

Scarlett Johansson bikini pics! (Maui - 2/14)

Scarlett Johansson, her new boyfriend Nate Naylor, and some friends went for a little Valentine's Day boat trip yesterday in Maui. Judging by the size of that cooler, there was drinking, drinking, and more drinking. And, if my vivid imagination is to be believed, possibly some making out. I'm really trying to convince myself that the whole day was a few free t-shirts short of a Girls Gone Wild DVD, otherwise these pics suck.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Scarlett's Johansson's bikini cellulite

*27 Scarlett Johansson pictures total in the gallery: