Natalie Portman


Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied out and about in Paris (6/18)

Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied's wedding was only in August, but already their marriage might be in trouble. Look Benjamin, it was just an innocent handjob -- Natalie and I both agreed that it didn't mean a thing. Wait that's not what we're talking about? From Life & Style:
Benjamin Millpied was at the top of his game as a sought-after choreographer and principal dancer with New York City Ballet. But on the Left Coast -- the base of Natalie Portman, the real breadwinner in the family -- he's been floundering, and insiders say he's grown resentful as a result.

Notes an insider, "in New York, Benjamin may have been a star, but here he's just viewed as Natalie's plus-one! Natalie has grown increasingly frustrated with Ben because he's not a very present father to Aleph. She's always the one getting up with the baby - she just doesn't feel she's getting the support she needs." (Print Edition - 11/12)
Of course Natalie's marriage is in trouble -- she really slummed for a husband. This Benjamin Millpied Millipede Millepide guy is about as big a nobody as you could find to marry. Natalie's pretty dumb for a smart person -- how does she not know the fact that a woman cannot EVER elevate a man to her status? Don't believe me? OK, I guess we didn't just go through the Kevin Federline or Frodo Baggins Aguilera era. Quick question: Who is Queen Elizabeth married to? Exactly. Nobody knows or cares, and I wouldn't be surprised if the Queen herself was on that don't care list. Nat, next time you get married, you need to set your target a little higher than a dance instructor . . . like say a garbage man, or the guy that cleans the bird cages at Petco.

*20 Natalie Portman and Benjamin Millepied pictures total in the gallery:

  • Natalie Portman Marriage Trouble 1
  • Natalie Portman Marriage Trouble 2
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Paparazzi photos from Wednesday, October 10

Natalie Portman on the set of the Untitled Terrence Malick movie in Austin (pics start here)

Sofia Vergara and Julie Bowen filming Modern Family at Costco in Van Nuys (pics start here)

Robert Pattinson leaving his hotel in New York (pics start here)

Stacy Keibler shopping in New York (pics start here)

Guy Ritchie and his fiance Jacqui Ainsley arriving at LAX airport for a flight (pics start here)

Rose McGowan on her way to Dry Bar in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Diane Kruger catching a cab in New York (pics start here)

Katharine McPhee on the set of Smash in New York (pics start here)

Milla Jovovich at Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Matt Damon out for a walk with his daughter Stella in New York (pics start here)

Christina Aguilera and her boyfriend Matthew Rutler leaving Barneys New York in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Khloe Kardashian arriving at LAX airport for a flight (pics start here)

*121 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Natalie Portman Trashy Look 1
  • Natalie Portman Trashy Look 2
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Natalie Portman has cleavage

Flynet says that's Natalie Portman on the set of the "Untitled Terrence Malick" movie in Austin, Texas yesterday. I think a really good title would be "Hey, Check Out Natalie Portman's Tits."

*21 Natalie Portman pictures total in the gallery:

  • Natalie Portman Cleavage Show 1
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Paparazzi photos from Friday, September 28

Natalie Portman arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Carly Rae Jepsen on the set of a music video in L.A. (pics start here)

Ali Landry surfing in Hawaii (pics start here)

Ashley Greene at a screening of Butter in New York (pics start here)

Lea Michele leaving M Cafe in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Pamela Anderson leaving her hotel in New York (pics start here)

Jennifer Garner shopping in New York (pics start here)

Lana Del Rey leaving her hotel in Paris (pics start here)

Lauren Conrad shopping in Westwood (pics start here)

Jessica Alba arriving at her office in Santa Monica (pics start here)

British reality star Lucy Mecklenburgh hosting a charity coffee morning at Orsett Hall Hotel in Essex, England (pics start here)

Kristin Cavallari out and about in Hollywood (pics start here)

Amber Heard shopping in West Hollywood (pics start here)

*114 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Natalie Portman Blonde Hair 1
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Natalie Portman

Natalie Portman arriving at the Hotel Plaza Athenee in Paris (4/5)

*23 Natalie Portman pictures total in the gallery:

  • Natalie Portman Black Heels 1
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Natalie Portman at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party at the Sunset Tower Hotel in Hollywood (2/26)

Natalie Portman has fueled speculation that she secretly married fiance Benjamin Millepied after both were spotted wearing rings Sunday at the Academy Awards. Considering that she used to look normal and now looks completely fucking insane, I'm gonna go ahead and confirm these rumors. Marriage, it's fantastic!

*30 Natalie Portman pictures total in the gallery:

  • Natalie Portman Engaged 1
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Natalie Portman in Your Highness

Did Natalie Portman use an ass double in Your Highness just like she used a dance double in pretty much every scene of Black Swan? Sure, why not. Cool, maybe the Academy will be dumb enough to give her an Oscar for this movie, too. From Metro (who ripped off FilmDrunk, btw):
Natalie Portman has denied rumours that she stripped naked for a skinny dipping scene in her new movie Your Highness. Portman is seen baring her bottom in the movie but the actress admitted that she used a body double for the shot as she didn't want to get into the freezing cold water.

She told a tabloid: "There's one shot that's me and the shot of her diving into the water is a body double, because I didn't wanna go in the water - it was really, really cold.'"

Film bosses were forced to digitally add black knickers to Portman's bottom in the scene later on so that it could be included in the trailer.
That sneaky little bitch! So she's telling me that the person I was beating off to in the back of the theater wasn't even her? Now what am I going to say at my court hearing? There are some things I can tolerate being digitally-enhanced in movies: spaceships, monsters, and cumshots. But I absolutely will not stand for enhanced female body parts . . . that aren't made of silicone.

*20 Natalie Portman pictures total in the gallery:

  • Natalie Portman Ass Double 1
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Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, March 1

Natalie Portman and her fiancé Benjamin Millepied leaving a cafe in Hollywood after having breakfast (pics start here)

Jessica Biel and Bradley Cooper on the set of their new film New Year's Eve in Los Angeles (pics start here)

Kendra Wilkinson leaving STK restaurant in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Olivia Munn waiting for a cab in the East Village of New York (pics start here)

Isla Fisher arrives at CBS Studios in New York (pics start here)

Katy Perry performing in Munich, Germany (pics start here)

Katie Holmes leaving Starbucks in Vancouver (pics start here)

Reese Witherspoon and her fiance Jim Toth leaving Blue Plate Oysterette restaurant in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Emily Blunt leaving a gym in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Keira Knightley at J Sheekey restaurant in London (pics start here)

Jennifer Hudson out and about in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Matt Stone and Trey Parker outside the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York before their appearance on the Late Show with David Letterman (pics start here)

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro (Jersey Shore) and a "friend" leaving a restaurant in West Hollywood after having breakfast (pics start here)

*116 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Natalie Portman Cankles 1
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The 2011 Academy Awards: Just the Attractive People

By any reasonable standard, the Academy Awards blew donkey cock last night (at one point James Franco walked out a dress which wouldn't have been funny even if I was high as a motherfucker). The telecast peaked when Anne Hathaway said "Welcome to..." and it was all downhill from there. But at least some fairly attractive women showed up. Like Penelope Cruz ... *makes motorboat sound with my lips*

Gallery features 138 pictures so click around:


  • 2011 Oscars Attractive People 1
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Natalie Portman is ornery

Natalie Portman was in a foul mood leaving Barneys New York in Beverly Hills yesterday. As she was walking out, she muttered (no she didn't) something about a "stupid lazy Mexican" and then flipped off a paparazzo -- who was Mexican. It was quite shocking. I didn't know she was still like this. I knew she dabbled in some Klan meetings when she was younger (I just made that up), but I thought that was just a phase. As for the paparazzo, he was going to call the National Enquirer and expose Natalie, but you know, he was sorta tired so he went to his truck and took a little nap.

*15 Natalie Portman pictures total in the gallery:

  • Natalie Portman Middle Finger 1
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Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: