Archive: Mini Me

Mini-Me and Ranae Shrider

So you know Ranae Shrider, the chick who fucked Mini-Me? Turns out she has a lawyer and he loves picking on midgets. And implying that they have STDs. Via TMZ:

Ranae Shrider’s legal mouthpiece, Keith Davidson, is raggin’ on Verne claiming he can’t pay his taxes “because he is paying his lawyer hundreds of thousands of dollars to file ridiculous lawsuits.” He cites, among other things, the suit against TMZ for running the sex tape story, which was dismissed.

Davidson calls Verne “a small-minded, vindictive, heartbroken, desperate and trivial celebrity,” adding, “Mr. Troyer would be better served retiring his Federal and state tax obligations rather than suing a girl who he dated for only three months before videotaping their diminutive sessions.”

Shrider’s lawyer ends with the following shot: “Ms. Shrider would still like to thank Mr. Troyer for the ‘lasting’ gifts he has imparted her with.” (Source)

How low can a scumbag lawyer go? Apparently 2 feet 8 inches. And to say that Verne is “small minded” is hardly a ground breaking revelation — the guy has a head the size of a Cabbage Patch Kid. Let’s just hope that the “lasting gift” the little guy left Ranae isn’t an unwanted pregnancy. Because the last thing Verne needs right now is to show up at a Planned Parenthood facility and be confused with one of their “clients”.

Mini-Me suing ex-girlfriend Ranae Shrider

Verne Troyer aka Mini-Me is suing his ex-girlfriend and sex tape partner Ranae Shrider, claiming the 22-year-old beat the hell out of him. In official terms, Troyer is accusing Shrider of “intentional infliction of emotional distress and battery.” The little guy’s lawyer, Ed McPherson, told TMZ:

“When you pick up a 2′8″ human being and throw him to the floor, it hurts.”

In the lawsuit, Troyer basically says the chick terrorized him, once picked the lock to his bedroom door, pushing away a 100 pound scooter that was used to block the door, and then throwing him to the floor Troyer claims his damages from all that Schrider did to him exceed $20 million. (Source)

Good luck to Verne getting any of that $20 million from his ex. That chick was so broke, she was willing to sell a video of herself getting violated by a fetus. At this point, Verne would have better luck getting money out of an IndyMac bank. If Verne really wants to make millions of dollars, there’s only one way other no-talents in Hollywood are doing it these days: getting pregnant.

[BauerGriffinOnline, Splash News]

Ranae Shrider is bullying Mini-Me

This whole Mini-Me sex tape scandal is finally coming into focus. The tape wasn’t stolen or anything — Mini-Me’s ex Ranae Shrider is the one trying to profit from it. Remember late last month when it was revealed that Renae and Mini-Me are still living together? That’s definitely true, though the couple is on less than friendly terms. Basically she’s a total bitch. From E!:

“(Ranae’s) still in the house,” Verne revealed to E! News. While he seeks legal action to force his former flame out, Verne’s not leaving, either, a situation he claims “makes it even harder, to, you know, not strangle her.”

Life at home isn’t easy. In addition to living with the woman who’s attempting to profit from the tape, the actor alleges that Ranae’s now harassing him.

“I saw her when I left today, and she was calling me names and stuff…so I can’t get away from it,” Verne explained. (Source)

Of course they’re still sharing the same apartment — Ranae can’t afford anything else! She’s so broke she was willing to pawn a video of herself doing the nasty with a guy that looks like a third-trimester abortion. Of course the biggest question about this whole arrangement: is Verne considered Renae’s “Sugar Daddy” or “Sugar Baby”?

[Splash News]

Mini Me and Ranae Shrider

Mini Me’s sex tape partner Ranae Shrider is actually talking about having sex with the little guy. And by “talking” I mean, “holy shit she better have gotten paid five six seven eight figures for this interview.” Ranae told News of the World *CAUTION* GRAPHIC MIDGET SEX DISCUSSION AHEAD *CAUTION*

“I never imagined one day I’d date a man who barely came up to my kneecaps. But as soon as I met Verne I was so captivated by his personality, his size didn’t seem to matter. I liked him so much I even gave up wearing high heels for six months.”

“But sex was very different from anything I’d experienced before, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say it was tricky making everything work. I had to kneel down just to give him a hug. And anything but the traditional missionary position was just impossible. So I’d lie on the bed and Verne would crawl up my legs to have sex with me. And as he did it his feet would be tickling my knees!”

“It wasn’t quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn’t wear a condom. There was no point, they’re all too big. On the whole though, he wasn’t short of sexy skills and tried his hardest to make up in technique what he lacked in size.” (Source)

In the future, Verne can take solace in knowing that his condoms won’t be too small if he wears them the correct way — over his head. Speaking of safe sex, I thought babies were supposed to come out of a woman’s hoo-hoo, not come in them. Oh and Renae can say “his size didn’t seem to matter” all she wants, but we all know women like their men to be hung not like a baby, but the arm of a baby.

Mini-Me has a sex tape!

TMZ claims a Mini-Me sex tape is being shopped around Hollywood. The co-star of the film is Mini-Me’s former live-in girlfriend (name?). Celebrity sex tape broker Kevin Blatt is rumored to be entertaining a $100k offer from SugarDVD. Jesus Christ, I don’t even know where to begin with this. It creeps me out just to look at a picture of the guy for more than a few seconds. The last thing I want to do is beat off to a video of him giving the business to some chick thrice his size. Oh well, I guess technically it is porn. *sigh* Damn you masturbation bylaws!

*Mini-Me doesn’t actually stick his penis into her. Have you ever seen someone get their arm stuck up a vending machine? Well . . . it’s a lot like that.