I guess the blind item
From yesterday’s New York Post:
Just asking which fame-hungry “social” spends so much time stuffing cocaine up her nose, her hangers-on have taken to calling her “Coco Puff?” (Source)
It’s obviously Miley.
Do not want
Miley Cyrus allegedly wants off hit Disney show Hannah Montana so she can focus on her music career. Her strategy to get out of the contract? Poor work ethic. TMZ says:
Our spies on the set tell us Miley has bragged that she will get fired, making it clear she wants to focus on singing and not the show. For his part, Billy Ray has also made it clear that there is more money in singing than a Disney cable show. As a result, the father-daughter team has been showing up to the set ridiculously late, stalling production and infuriating cast and crew.
Sources tell us Billy Ray has told people on the set that he and Miley will do 12 more episodes and then they are out. Disney was so pissed they called his agent, railing that Billy Ray and Miley were ingrates. Disney insisted that Billy Ray and Miley not only finish the 24 episode season — but Disney was adding six more episodes. (Source)
Sounds like Miley wants to follow in her father’s footsteps . . . by fading into oblivion. There are a couple of old sayings Miley might want to think about before leaving the show that made her famous: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”; “Never look a gift horse in the mouth”; and “If your father is a has-been redneck hillbilly who blew his entire fortune before you were born, it’s probably best you don’t follow his advice.”
Miley Cyrus may be dating an underwear model
Maybe. She’s been spending a lot of time lately with 20-year-old model Justin Gaston. The Dallas Morning News says:
Wearing matching tank tops, America’s favorite middle-age 15-year-old, Miley Cyrus, went to church this weekend with her possible new boyfriend, 20-year-old underwear model Justin Gaston. Mr. Gaston was also a contestant on Nashville Star. (Source)
I love how Miley’s boyfriend is holding a bible in that picture. Jesus died for your sins Justin . . . such as statutory rape.
[PICS: Pacific Coast News; STORY via Just Jared]
Miley Cyrus buys $75,000 Mercedes even though she can’t legally drive
Remember your very first car? I bet it wasn’t a $75k Mercedes. Because you weren’t worth eight digits before your sixteenth birthday. From In Touch Weekly.
Miley Cyrus doesn’t turn 16 until November 23, but she’s already bought herself a present — a convertible. In late August, the star ordered a fully loaded white Mercedes-Benz CLK 550 Cabriolet with a sticker price of $75,375. “Miley wanted special options like parking assist and a cream-colored leather interior, so she ordered the car early,” her pal says. “She’s telling everyone that she hopes to get a car when she turns 16, so when it comes, she can say it was a surprise from her parents.” Miley will be trading in her two wheels for four on her birthday.
Of course Miley needs the “park assist” feature for her car, she’s a celebrity. Just kidding, she needs it because she’s a woman. Seriously though, Miley would have been better off getting something a little more practical for her birthday . . . like Invisalign. And why is she trying to convince people that her parents bought it for her? Everyone’s gonna know Billy Ray Cyrus didn’t get that car for her when they see it’s missing a gun rack.
[WENN, BauerGriffinOnline]
Miley Cyrus got hacked
Remember those hacked Miley Cyrus pics that hit the web last month (the one of her taking a shower)? A few more leaked over the weekend. All the pics are work-safe unless your boss is one of those uptight dudes who gets all freaked out when you look at sexually provocative pictures of 15-year-olds.
More Miley Cyrus photos leak
More “scandalous” pics of Miley Cyrus making out with ex-boyfriend Thomas Sturges hit the web today. I know most of you probably think this is no big deal but did you know that, like Miley, 99% of hardcore porn stars kissed a boy when they were in their teens? Makes you think.
[ONTD]
Chick fight! Chick fight!
Even though TMZ says this video has been out since March and has already generated 3,000,000 views, Us Weekly thinks it’s hot news or something. From Us:
Miley Cyrus — a mean girl? In a new YouTube video, Miley and her BFF Mandy mock Selena Gomez and her pal Demi Lovato. Miley, 15, makes fun of a T-shirt Gomez, 16, wore and teases Demi, 15, about a gap she used to have in her teeth. (Source)
That video had almost everything a guy could possibly want in it. Teenage girls? Check. Too much make-up? Check. Grainy resolution? Check. About the only thing it’s missing is a knock-down-drag-out fight inside a kiddie pool filled with canola oil while I stand off to the side, dressed as Abraham Lincoln, shouting obscenities and throwing water balloons full of chocolate pudding at the two combatants.* Seriously though, I hope these two work out their differences soon. I’d hate to see the two get into an argument, start wrestling, and end up pulling each other’s hair. Of course, if that does happen, I’d appreciate it if they did it in slow motion.
*don’t ask . . . it was in college and I was WAY drunk
Miley Cyrus to go nude in a movie?
According to some source who’s probably just making shit up, Miley Cyrus is interested in playing the role of a promiscuous suburban girl in the upcoming movie Undiscovered Gyrl, a role that will “definitely” include nude scenes. Miley Cyrus is still 15, right? OK, I thought so. This may be the first movie in history where you’re immediately arrested after buying a ticket. From MSNBC:
Cyrus is rumored to be interested in the lead role in “Undiscovered Gyrl,” the film version of Allison Burnett’s new novel. It’s still early for casting — Burnett’s agent Richard Abate has reportedly just begun shopping the manuscript to publishers and has yet to secure a deal for the film.
However, a source close to the project says Cyrus is interested in the part, which would be that of “a lovable, lost suburban girl who descends into a life of reckless partying and promiscuity.” The source says if Cyrus did take the part, you’d be seeing a lot more of Cyrus than what appeared in the Vanity Fair photos. “There would definitely be nude scenes,” says the source. (Source)
A film with a nude scene starring Miley Cyrus might have been appealing if it had happened three years ago. Just kidding, that’s gross. Four. Seriously though, if I wanted to see a naked teen, I’d rent a horror flick. Those frisky teens always take off their clothes just before the villain cuts off their heads and then we never hear about them and never have to see the stupid fucking peace sign they make in every paparazzi photo. My point: I’d really like to see Miley Cyrus in a horror movie.
Miley Cyrus needs to be quiet
Miley Cyrus wants to remake Sex and the City. But for kids. Stupidest idea for a TV show ever? Actually, no — dude have you seen The Hills? I’d rather watch a marathon of Baywatch Nights than even one minute of that piece of crap. Wait, what are we talking about again? Oh yeah, Miley Cyrus. The actress told TV Guide:
“I’d love to do a younger, cleaner version of Sex and the City . . . I like to think of myself as the girl that no one can get, that no one can keep in their hand.” (Source)
So instead of a show about 40-year-olds whoring their way through New York City, Miley wants to make a show about 15-year-olds only kinda whoring their way through New York City. “Shut the fuck up Miley, SHUT THE FUCK UP!” - Disney Executive
Miley Cyrus hacked
Some dude allegedly broke into Miley Cyrus’ email over the weekend and found some “racy” pics she sent to Nick Jonas of the Jonas Brothers. The hacker also claims to have a few “worse” pics that he’s trying to sell:
“i have worse pictures than these, and those are prob getting sold . . . I have some more pictures of her that I want to attempt to sell to a tabloid, but if i cant, i’ll just leak them with watermarks”
As well as some “juicy” emails:
“I saw alot of juicy emails, but I never thought of saving them.. now I kick myself for not.. there where so many juicy emails that I read…
ones with her talking to nick about the night they fucked, etc.” (Source)
Last time I checked, Miley Cyrus is still wayyyyy under 18 — so unless the grassroots Senate letter-writing campaign I organized actually worked, it’s probably still illegal to sell naked pics of her. For now we’ll have to make due with the scandalous pics of her bare shoulder.*
*NSFW if the year is 1635 and you live in the Massachusetts Bay Colony
