Miley Cyrus leaving her hotel in New York (6/16)
Gotta catch up on some stuff from last week when out galleries went down . . . like Miley Cyrus going braless in New York. This may actually be the most tame thing Miley's done in months. Is she trying to get back into children's television? I can see it now: "Coming up on a very special episode of Hannah Montana Goes to College: Hannah shaves everything for a party at the Phi Kappa Tau house."
*20 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus topless again
No one's been talking about Miley Cyrus for a while so naturally she had her friend Cheyne Thomas post a metric fuckton of NSFW candids to his website. Remember in the days of yonder when singers would generate publicity by actually performing and putting out new albums? I don't either. Get out of here, old man!
NSFW pics start here
*72 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus nude for Terry Richardson
Here's a whole lot more of Miley Cyrus naked, courtesy of Terry Richardson. Honestly, meh. Miley Cyrus naked is like pancakes. Awesome at first, but then you get sick of them and want a cheeseburger. Wait a minute, I have a great idea . . . Selena Gomez, you can be that cheeseburger.
NOTE: Didn't post any thumbnails because they're all way NSFW. Check out there gallery starting HERE.
*22 Miley Cyrus nude pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus full frontal nudity!
Miley Cyrus just played her trump card: full frontal nudity (with a dash of strap-on and a smidgen of implied oral sex). It's in the new issue of Candy magazine, which sounds completely made up. At this point, the only thing left for Miley to truly shock people is to do porn or vote republican. Miley's campaigning for Ben Carson? Eeeeek!!!
*15 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus out for breakfast in Studio City (9/13)
Haven't heard much from Dane Cook lately. I guess it's hard competing with the likes of Louis C.K. and Bill Burr when your day job at the car wash takes up all of your time. But hey, he still has his penis. And right now it's in Miley Cyrus. Literally. She likes morning sex. From Us Weekly:
A source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly that the "Hands of Love" singer and comedian Dane Cook are "hooking up."Why does seeing the phrase "hooking up" in quotes makes me feel like Us Weekly is run by a bunch of 80-year-olds?
The 22-year-old -- who has said she likes "funny" men -- and Jessica Simpson's ex are longtime pals. In December 2013, they had an impromptu dance party at L.A. club The Woods. And this past March, when her then-love, Patrick Schwarzenegger, was snapped doing body shots off a bikini-clad girl on spring break, she regrammed a self-addressed post from Cook, 43, that read, "Don't you ever let someone treat you like a yellow Starburst. You are a pink Starburst."So Miley's back to men now? Because before, she was banging Stella Maxwell. And before that, Patrick Schwarzenegger. Back and forth; back and forth. It's so confusing. If Miley starts banging Caitlyn Jenner, and then Chaz Bono, my head is going to fucking explode.
SHOWER THOUGHT OF THE DAY: Kim Davis would have issued a marriage license to Bruce Jenner and Chastity Bono ten years ago, but would she still do it today?
*20 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus' nipple live
Miley Cyrus flashed her boob live on air during the MTV Video Music Awards yesterday. It was quite the night for little Timmy O'Donnell of Chesterton, Indiana -- the last person in the United States to see Miley Cyrus' nipple. We always knew you'd pull out of that coma, Timmy. You're a fighter!
*32 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus is the anti-Bieber
Miley Cyrus is the anti-Justin Bieber. After moving into the same Hidden Hills neighborhood that Justin used to terrorize, Miley showered her neighbors with gifts, assuring them that her douche tank isn't nearly as full as Justin's. A source told the National Enquirer:
"Miley's first move was sending her neighbors ritzy gift baskets, wanting them to know that despite her onstage persona and publicity stunts like her recent 'pubes and boobs' full-frontal photo spread Paper Magazine that she's truly a quiet, stay-at-home kind of girl! Miley even attached sweet, personally hand-written notes to each basket that basically said 'I'm no Beiber!' Honestly, we freaked at first when Miley moved into our beautiful neighborhood, but her goodwill gestures a stunning surprise." (Print Edition)The joke's on those neighbors. I have it on good authority that the gift baskets Miley gave them were all tainted with smallpox . . . but this time it was by accident. C'mon, Miley's no Lord Jeffrey Amherst. He was just a dick.
*25 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus and Stella Maxwell, via Stella's instagram
Is Miley Cyrus now dating Victoria's Secret Angel Stella Maxwell? Sure, why not. From the New York Daily News:
Friends of Miley Cyrus say she's dating Victoria's Secret Angel Stella Maxwell, Confidenti@l has learned. Pals refer to the "Wrecking Ball" singer and the gorgeous New Zealander as "a couple" and a spy who has spent time with the pair says they have the easy affection of people who have been dating for months.Good, good for Miley -- I'm glad she's finally embracing her bisexuality and settling down. Though I am a little disappointed it's not with Kaitlyn Jenner. Dammit, I really wanted to watch that show.
"They hold hands and hug and are very comfortable together. They're definitely together," said our source.
*25 Stella Maxwell pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus naked in Paper magazine
Here's Paper magazine attempting to "break" the internet again with boobs -- this time with those of Miley Cyrus. And now, just because it's creepy to read after seeing these pics, the summary of the season two premiere episode of Hannah Montana titled "Me and Rico Down by the School Yard":
Miley sings a song at a concert and urges everyone to get up early to go to school as the beginning of the school year is the next day. However, she herself only reluctantly gets up after Robby threatens to dump a bucket of ice water over her, as he did with Jackson. Miley and Lilly start their first day of high school at Seaview High School. Lilly discovers that Miley brought her teddy bear, causing her to overreact, asking Miley what this would do to her rep. She receives an anonymous text message on her cell phone that says someone knows her secret and has a picture that proves it.
Miley and Lilly are instantly worried and believe Oliver is behind this and go off to find him, but he didn't do it either as she gets a message from the mysterious person 3 seconds after she berates him. Lilly narrows it down to anyone texting and Miley looks at a nearby table filled with freshmen and exclaims "Great, that narrows it down to everyone!"
Miley finds out that it was Rico who sent the message, as he becomes a new student in her class and asks her if she got his messages. Miley, Lilly and Oliver drag him out of class. To keep Rico from exposing her secret, he makes her pretend to be his girlfriend. Miley is humiliated all day. Lilly and Oliver try to get Rico's cell phone. They find Rico's because it was the only locker with a foot stool underneath it. The only problem is there is monkey guarding the locker.
Rico then wants Miley to kiss him. Lilly tries to help by telling Miley, "It'll be over before you know it." Miley replies by saying that Rico will hold the secret over her forever. She says that if he wants to send the picture, she'd let him but nothing could be much worse than what he was putting her through. Rico hands over the phone and says he was always the smallest in his classes and that he wanted to be liked. As Miley feels sorry for him she starts to kiss him on the cheek, but Rico turns his head and kisses Miley on the lips. He screams, "He shoots, he scores!" Miley gives him a mad look and says "He's toast." and she begins to chase him, as Oliver says he never saw Miley so angry. Running from Miley , Rico calls on to the monkey in his locker and it drops a banana on the ground causing Miley to trip over.
Lilly realizes that the secret that Rico knew was that Miley had brought her teddy bear to school, not that she is also Hannah Montana.
During the credit the monkey is seen serving ice cones from it's ice cone machine in Rico's locker.
*27 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus' "accidental" nip slip
Here's Miley Cyrus "accidentally" instagramming her nipple yesterday. The word "accidentally" is in quotes because this was definitely planned down to her hair color by a team of record executives in a meeting last week. The only thing accidental in Miley's life was her conception. "Yer pregnant, Tish? But I bin drinkin' loads of Mountain Dew!" God I love rednecks
*5 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery: