Miley Cyrus is the anti-Bieber
Miley Cyrus is the anti-Justin Bieber. After moving into the same Hidden Hills neighborhood that Justin used to terrorize, Miley showered her neighbors with gifts, assuring them that her douche tank isn't nearly as full as Justin's. A source told the National Enquirer
"Miley's first move was sending her neighbors ritzy gift baskets, wanting them to know that despite her onstage persona and publicity stunts like her recent 'pubes and boobs' full-frontal photo spread Paper Magazine that she's truly a quiet, stay-at-home kind of girl! Miley even attached sweet, personally hand-written notes to each basket that basically said 'I'm no Beiber!' Honestly, we freaked at first when Miley moved into our beautiful neighborhood, but her goodwill gestures a stunning surprise." (Print Edition)
The joke's on those neighbors. I have it on good authority that the gift baskets Miley gave them were all tainted with smallpox . . . but this time it was by accident. C'mon, Miley's no Lord Jeffrey Amherst
. He was just a dick.
*25 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus and Stella Maxwell, via Stella's instagram
Is Miley Cyrus now dating Victoria's Secret Angel Stella Maxwell? Sure, why not. From the New York Daily News
Friends of Miley Cyrus say she's dating Victoria's Secret Angel Stella Maxwell, Confidenti@l has learned. Pals refer to the "Wrecking Ball" singer and the gorgeous New Zealander as "a couple" and a spy who has spent time with the pair says they have the easy affection of people who have been dating for months.
"They hold hands and hug and are very comfortable together. They're definitely together," said our source.
Good, good for Miley -- I'm glad she's finally embracing her bisexuality and settling down. Though I am a little disappointed it's not with Kaitlyn Jenner. Dammit, I really wanted to watch that show.
*25 Stella Maxwell pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus naked in Paper magazine
magazine attempting to "break" the internet again
with boobs -- this time with those of Miley Cyrus. And now, just because it's creepy to read after seeing these pics, the summary of the season two premiere episode of Hannah Montana
titled "Me and Rico Down by the School Yard":Miley sings a song at a concert and urges everyone to get up early to go to school as the beginning of the school year is the next day. However, she herself only reluctantly gets up after Robby threatens to dump a bucket of ice water over her, as he did with Jackson. Miley and Lilly start their first day of high school at Seaview High School. Lilly discovers that Miley brought her teddy bear, causing her to overreact, asking Miley what this would do to her rep. She receives an anonymous text message on her cell phone that says someone knows her secret and has a picture that proves it.
Miley and Lilly are instantly worried and believe Oliver is behind this and go off to find him, but he didn't do it either as she gets a message from the mysterious person 3 seconds after she berates him. Lilly narrows it down to anyone texting and Miley looks at a nearby table filled with freshmen and exclaims "Great, that narrows it down to everyone!"
Miley finds out that it was Rico who sent the message, as he becomes a new student in her class and asks her if she got his messages. Miley, Lilly and Oliver drag him out of class. To keep Rico from exposing her secret, he makes her pretend to be his girlfriend. Miley is humiliated all day. Lilly and Oliver try to get Rico's cell phone. They find Rico's because it was the only locker with a foot stool underneath it. The only problem is there is monkey guarding the locker.
Rico then wants Miley to kiss him. Lilly tries to help by telling Miley, "It'll be over before you know it." Miley replies by saying that Rico will hold the secret over her forever. She says that if he wants to send the picture, she'd let him but nothing could be much worse than what he was putting her through. Rico hands over the phone and says he was always the smallest in his classes and that he wanted to be liked. As Miley feels sorry for him she starts to kiss him on the cheek, but Rico turns his head and kisses Miley on the lips. He screams, "He shoots, he scores!" Miley gives him a mad look and says "He's toast." and she begins to chase him, as Oliver says he never saw Miley so angry. Running from Miley , Rico calls on to the monkey in his locker and it drops a banana on the ground causing Miley to trip over.
Lilly realizes that the secret that Rico knew was that Miley had brought her teddy bear to school, not that she is also Hannah Montana.
During the credit the monkey is seen serving ice cones from it's ice cone machine in Rico's locker.
*27 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus' "accidental" nip slip
Here's Miley Cyrus "accidentally" instagramming her nipple yesterday. The word "accidentally" is in quotes because this was definitely planned down to her hair color by a team of record executives in a meeting last week. The only thing accidental in Miley's life was her conception. "Yer pregnant, Tish? But I bin drinkin' loads of Mountain Dew!" God I love rednecks
*5 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus leaving Hugo's Tacos in Studio City
George Clooney has some words for Miley Cyrus . . . kind
words. Wait, what? Nothing about her need to shower? Or shave her arm pits? He told Access Hollywood
"So I've gotten to know Miley and we have a little Kentucky history together," said Clooney, who, like Cyrus' dad Billy Ray, was born in the Bluegrass State. "She was fantastic to work with, I'm telling you. Like fantastic and fun and a real pro."A real pro
The "Tomorrowland" actor wasn't the only one impressed by the pop star.
"Bill Murray and I had drinks a few nights ago and he was just talking about how impressed he was as an entertainer and also just as a -- just in general as a pro -- how professional she was," Clooney said. "I really liked her."
? Fantastic to work with
? It's almost as if this wild child image Miley cultivates via social media has been carefully crafted by a major music corporation to increase album sales and concert revenue. Aw crap -- I shouldn't have said that. If I turn up dead tomorrow, follow the clues.
*25 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus out and about in L.A.
says Miley Cyrus was "flaunting her unique summer style" while out and about in L.A. yesterday. Unique summer style
? Back where I'm from we just call that white trash
. But, you know, tomaydo, tomahto.
*30 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Patrick Schwarzenegger in Malibu
says these are the first pictures of Patrick Schwarzenegger since he 99.99% cheated on Miley Cyrus in Cabo San Lucas last week with possibly some sorority girls and definitely his ex Taylor Burns. Personally, I think it's much ado about nothing. I accidentally run into my exes all the time in foreign countries. And, like Taylor, they usually end up rubbing sunscreen onto my naked back. It's not my fault they're so concerned about skin cancer.*20 Patrick Schwarzenegger pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi photos from Friday, January 16
heading to a friend's house in Hollywood (pics start here
out and about in Santa Monica (pics start here
running errands in Beverly Hills (pics start here
leaving Whole Foods in West Hollywood (pics start here
leaving Craig's restaurant in West Hollywood (pics start here
leaving Granville Cafe restaurant in Studio City (pics start here
and his girlfriend Meg Simpson
leaving their hotel in Vancouver (pics start here
departing on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here
doing a photo shoot with her dog in Beverly Hills (pics start here
hiking in Runyon Canyon in Hollywood (pics start here
arriving to the set of The Accountant
in Atlanta (pics start here
*106 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus is naked again
Here's Miley Cyrus naked in the new issue of V
magazine. Because why waste time trying to put out worthwhile music when all you have to do is show your tits and people will talk about you? Rinse. Repeat. *yawn*NOTE
: To see the uncensored Miley Cyrus V mag pictures
click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and
then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the
image.*30 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:
Miley Cyrus jet skiing in Miami
So Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton made out last week in Miami. The two were partying at the annoyingly-named "E11even" nightclub when Paris noticed Miley was having trouble breathing, so she heroically gave her mouth to mouth resuscitation. Errr, something like that. A source told the New York Post
"[Miley and Patrick] got there around 4 a.m. and sat at a private table off to the side -- but still definitely visible to everyone." Then, "Miley and Paris were dancing and had a whole bunch of people around them. Patrick was sitting on top of a banquette. He wasn't participating, but watching and enjoying. Miley sat on his lap and Paris was sitting on the couch. Miley leaned down to kiss Paris."
Our eagle-eyed observer continued: "All of a sudden, they just started making out, and Patrick was in the middle, cuddling them both. Paris had her arm around Patrick's waist. Then they all walked out of the club together" at around 5 a.m.
Normally this is the part of the story where I joke about someone having to be set on fire after making out with Paris or Miley, but I can't really do that this time because they made out with each other. I'm so confused. It's the classic version of a catch-22, but with more dudes getting jacked off by white trash chicks.
*30 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery: