Mila Kunis

Paparazzi photos from Monday, April 15

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher leaving restaurant in London (pics start here)

Kendra Wilkinson playing in a softball game in L.A. (pics start here)

Emmy Rossum at The Onyx And Breezy Foundation's "Saving Tails" Fundraiser in Hollywood (pics start here)

Miss Universe Olivia Culpo at a screening of Disconnect at the SVA Theater in New York (pics start here)

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel leaving Mirimichi Golf Course in Millington, Tennessee (pics start here)

Julianne Hough at Day 3 of The Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, CA (pics start here)

Ashlee Simpson arriving to Jessica Simpson's baby shower at The Hotel Bel-Air in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Dutch model Sylvie van der Vaart shopping in Hamburg, Germany (pics start here)

Gwyneth Paltrow leaving 404 restaurant in Paris (pics start here)

Gisele Bundchen out and about in New York (pics start here)

Selena Gomez at the 2013 MTV Movie Awards at Sony Pictures Studio in L.A. (pics start here)

Olivia Wilde out and about in New York (pics start here)

*106 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Everyone wants to have sex with Mila Kunis

It's official: Everyone wants to have sex with Mila Kunis. And Ryan Gosling. In fact, if he knocked her up, she'd just give birth to a ray of sunshine. Via E!:

Let's be honest. It's hard to look at Ryan Gosling without having a few dirty thoughts. So, it comes as no surprise that Eva Mendes' man is the "most fuckable" male celebrity, according to a Details magazine survey. As for the ladies? Mila Kunis holds the coveted top spot. Kate Upton comes in a strong second to Ms. Kunis, followed by Jennifer Lawrence, Jessica Alba and Megan Fox.

I have no problem with this list. In the year of our Lord 2013, these are definitely the celebrities that cause the sloppiest arousals -- especially that Mila Kunis. Her hotness is strong enough to survive shit movie after shit movie AND laying down for Captain Trucker Hat, Ashton Kutcher. And since she's in her 30s, it's only a matter of time before she causes a Fukushima-sized meltdown and films her first nude scene. Call me a doomsday prepper, but I already bought a year's worth of lotion and breakaway pants for when that day finally arrives.

*11 Mila Kunis pictures total in the gallery:

Mila Kunis at Taco Bell in L.A. (2/18)

Mila Kunis stopped by the ridiculously-expensive Neil George Salon in Beverly Hills on Monday -- haircuts run $500+ -- and then hit up Taco Bell for a little lunch. Good for her. If you openly embrace it, diarrhea is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

*15 Mila Kunis pictures total in the gallery:

Mila Kunis in Friends with Benefits

Don't count on seeing Mila Kunis nude in a film anytime soon. She told the New York Daily News that she's hesitant to even show her ass. You anti-slut!

"I showed side boob [in Friends with Benefits]. I don't need to show ass. You get one or the other. You don't get both," she said as she smirked.

Yeah, I was as shocked as you were when I read this horseshit. Doesn't Mila know she's not Natalie Portman? Mila needs to start showing tits, ass, and Hustler-style spread-eagle bush because she's 29-years-old now, which is like 40 in actress years. Man oh man, that's one hell of a stupid statement for someone already laying down for Ashton Kutcher. Next thing you know, Mila's gonna wipe her ass with the Declaration of Independence and join the Taliban. Shame on Mila -- this is no way to support our troops. Tits and ass are as American as apple pie and crushing student loan debt.

*29 Mila Kunis pictures total in the gallery:

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis walking their dog in the Hollywood Hills (1/7)

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are getting serious -- Ashton's already promised to cheat less than he normally does and now the two are house hunting in Chicago. From In Touch:

A source close to Ashton tells In Touch, on newsstands now, "They're looking to buy a place together in Chicago." The couple fell in love with the Windy City while visiting during Christmas and have been busy checking out real estate ever since.

"They want a turn-key apartment overlooking Lake Michigan," says the source. Ashton, 34, and Mila, 29, also love that Chicago isn't too far from Ashton's hometown of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, where his family still lives.

Is moving to Chicago a good idea? The city is a freakin' war zone these days, and I'm fairly sure that the gangbangers won't be intimidated in the least by Ashton the douchy camera salesman. Don't get me wrong, nothing would bring a warm smile to my face like hearing that Ashton took a .22 slug to the thigh, but I'd hate to see Mila get caught in the crossfire. As much as I want to bang Mila, an ugly exit wound scar would kill the boner . . . I'm lying, it wouldn't.

*10 Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis pictures total in the gallery:

Ashton Kutcher at a Thai massage parlor in L.A. (12/10)

According to INF, that's Ashton Kutcher scrolling through Mila Kunis' phone yesterday after the two got massages in L.A. and he finished first. I don't know what he expects to find. Mila and I are old school adulterers -- we do everything through the US Mail. "Aw yeah baby, you make me so fucking hot when you write in shorthand."

*30 Ashton and Mila pictures total in the gallery:

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher out and about in Studio City (10/26)

There's been a rumor floating around since Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore split up that they were never technically married, but instead participated in some lame Kabbalah ceremony. That certainly explains why the two haven't signed divorce papers yet, and now Mila Kunis wants Ashton to not act like a douchebag and just admit the truth. Ouch, that might be tough for him. From the National Enquirer:

"Mila's sick and tired of people saying she's dating a married man and wants Ashton to come clean about his phony wedding to Demi," said a source close to her. "She's tired of the deception, and her family -- who actually adore Ashton -- are fed up trying to explain to friends that their daughter really isn't involved with a married man."

The problem? "Ashton says he wants to come clean - but refuses to be the one to reveal the marriage scam," said the source. "He feels he's embarrassed Demi enough over the years with his very public affairs, and he doesn't want to cause her anymore emotional distress. He told Mila he's pleaded with Demi to tell the truth about their so-called 'marriage' and says she keeps refusing. But Mila just keeps on pushing! So Ashton finally conceded that if Demi doesn't 'fess up soon, he'll be forced to!" (Print Edition - 11/12)

Do you know what makes me sick and tired, friends? It's that Mila is upset that the world's biggest douchebag is being a total douchebag. Look, Mila's never gonna get the guy who drove former A-lister Demi Moore into rehab for huffing paint to do the right thing. Ashton is a jackass, and he does things that only other jackasses can appreciate (I'm surprised Sean Penn and he haven't jerked each other off yet). Now the sooner Mila learns this fact of life, the better chance her career has of surviving a relationship with the anal wart who introduced the world to trucker hats.

*15 Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Monday, November 19

Mila Kunis on the set of Third Person in Rome (pics start here)

Reese Witherspoon heading to a meeting in L.A. (pics start here)

Jessica Biel leaving The Ivy By The Shore restaurant in Santa Monica (pics start here)

Ashley Greene leaving the Ted Baker salon in New York (pics start here)

Kristin Cavallari leaving a hair salon in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Rita Ora leaving her hotel in Paris on her way to Gare du Nord train station (pics start here)

Amber Heard leaving Starbucks in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Jennie Garth walking her dog in L.A. (pics start here)

Zac Efron at a gas station in Studio City (pics start here)

Jason Biggs arriving at his hotel in New York (pics start here)

Kris Jenner out and about in New York (pics start here)

Jennifer Love Hewitt on the set of The Client List in L.A. (pics start here)

*113 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Mila Kunis might be pregnant

While leaving a friend's house in L.A. on Saturday with Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis was looking awfully pregnant . . . emphasis on "awfully." Can you imagine how awful it would be to have a miniature version of Ashton Kutcher with a little miniature trucker hat running around? I've had nightmares that weren't even that horrific. On a completely unrelated note, is it considered bad taste to openly root for someone to have a miscarriage? I seem to have misplaced my Miss Manners Guide to Etiquette.

*30 Mila Kunis pictures total in the gallery:

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis walking their dog in Beverly Hills (10/19)

If you live in Beverly Hills and you often find dog shit on your lawn, it most likely came from Ashton Kutcher's dog. What an asshole. Even Osama Bin Laden used to clean up after his dog, and that guy was a real jerk!

*21 Ashton Kutcher pictures total in the gallery: