Mickey Rourke


Mickey Rourke looks dead

Can't believe more people aren't talking about this, but Mickey Rourke's cold, lifeless corpse rose from its grave and wandered aimlessly around West Hollywood earlier this week. "BRAAAAAAAAAAAAINS." Unfortunately, it escaped before anyone could shoot it in its head.

*15 Mickey Rourke pictures total in the gallery:

  • Mickey Rourke Dead Face 1
  • Mickey Rourke Dead Face 2
  • Mickey Rourke Dead Face 3
  • Mickey Rourke Dead Face 4
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Paparazzi photos from Friday, January 6

Mickey Rourke and his girlfriend, model Anastassija Makarenko, leaving the Brentwood Country Mart (pics start here)

Bai Ling out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Ivanka Trump at the Good Awards in New York (pics start here)

Minka Kelly leaving Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Rihanna arriving at a tattoo parlor in Hollywood (pics start here)

Gerard Butler leaving a nightclub in London (pics start here)

Thora Birch out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Juliette Lewis shopping at The Grove in Hollywood (pics start here)

Mimi Rogers out and about in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Actress Jennifer Morrison (Once Upon a Time) outside Live! with Kelly studios in New York (pics start here)

Halle Berry leaving her daughter's school in L.A. (pics start here)

Katie Holmes heading to a gym in L.A. (pics start here)

Ali Larter shopping at The Grove in Hollywood (pics start here)

*110 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Rourke Girlfriend 1
  • Rourke Girlfriend 2
  • Rourke Girlfriend 3
  • Rourke Girlfriend 4
  • Rourke Girlfriend 5
  • Rourke Girlfriend 6
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Megan Fox in Maui (6/2)

Megan Fox needs to settle down -- Mickey Rourke's an above-average actor, not the messiah . . . OR IS HE? Wait no, he isn't. From MTV:
"Mickey is such a beautiful, wonderful human being," Fox told MTV News. "He's so genuine and so sweet and so talented. I just love him to death. I kept telling him that he needs to have kids, because I think he's going to be an amazing dad. I hope he does that soon."

The words "genuine and sweet" might not be the first to come to mind for moviegoers who know Rourke best for his menacing turns in "Iron Man 2," "The Wrestler" and "Sin City." But Fox confessed that she feels a bond with Rourke because they are both celebrities who march to the beat of their own drummers and say what they feel. In fact, Fox's admiration for Rourke goes so far that she got inked up in his honor.

"I actually got a tattoo that is sort of in honor of him," she revealed. "It's on my ribs. I don't know if it's been photographed yet, but it'll come out eventually, I'm sure. I just love him very much and think he's very special."
If Megan had really wanted to honor Mickey Rourke, she wouldn't have gotten a tattoo, she would have smoked 50 packs of cigarettes and then lit her face on fire with the embers. Besides, impulsively covering your entire body with permanent ink that you'll one day come to regret doesn't make you hip or edgy -- it makes you the overnight shift supervisor at Denny's.

*20 pics total in the gallery:

  • Megan Fox Bikini Tattoo 1
  • Megan Fox Bikini Tattoo 2
  • Megan Fox Bikini Tattoo 3
  • Megan Fox Bikini Tattoo 4
  • Megan Fox Bikini Tattoo 5
  • Megan Fox Bikini Tattoo 1
  • Megan Fox Bikini Tattoo 2
  • Megan Fox Bikini Tattoo 3
  • Megan Fox Bikini Tattoo 4
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  • Megan Fox Bikini Tattoo 15

Megan Fox out and about in L.A. (2/15)

What Mickey Rourke told the London Evening Standard earlier this week:
"[Megan Fox] doesn’t drink or do drugs. People say bad stuff about her and how she can’t act but they only say that because she’s beautiful. She’s the most talented actress I’ve worked with. When she cries in a scene I get emotional. I couldn’t walk and chew gum at the same time when I was her age."
What he really meant: "Megan, last year your boyfriend was nominated for 'Crimestopper of the Month' by the Santa Monica Police Department for reporting a shoplifter at 7-Eleven. I was nominated for an Oscar. Let's have naked sex."

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Mickey Rourke and Elena Kuletskaya out and about in Hollywood (11/7)

So I guess Mickey Rourke is engaged. To a real-life model! Meh, I give their marriage 9 1/2 weeks. From the New York Post:
Reformed Hollywood hell-raiser Mickey Rourke is making plans to wed Russian beauty Elena Kuletskaya in Russia this spring, sources tell Page Six.

Rourke, 57, has been dating stunning blond model Kuletskaya, 24, for several months and popped the question to her over dinner last week. The star has told friends he's planning a Moscow wedding in April.

"They haven't booked a venue or made any solid plans. He just knows he wants to do it in April, and he's been asking what is involved in a traditional Russian wedding ceremony," a friend of Rourke said.

Kuletskaya reportedly dumped Russian pop star Dima Bilan for Rourke, whom she's been tutoring in her native tongue for his role as Russian villain "Whiplash" in the upcoming "Iron Man 2."
No one should be surprised that Mickey's marrying a pretty young woman from the Eastern Bloc. That sort of thing is actually pretty common these days when you're rich famous ordering your wife from a catalog. Let's just hope Mickey doesn't lose the one thing that's keeping this relationship so strong: his looks health publicity.

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Mickey Rourke Halloween Costume

Mickey Rourke outside Voyeur nightclub in West Hollywood (10/29)

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Mickey Rourke and Cheyenne Tozzi out and about in New York (9/15)

Remember the story a few weeks ago about that lingerie model really not wanting people to know that Mickey Rourke got into her pants. Well, he did it again. Mickey was spotted all over New York last week with a new model, 20-year-old Australian Cheyenne Tozzi. I think I know what's going on here. Models are dumb, really really dumb. She must think she's dating the hot 9½ Weeks version of Mickey, not the disgusting 9½ plastic surgeries version.

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Mickey Rourke leaving Jalouse nightclub in London (9/10)

I don't know what's more disturbing about these pics: that Mickey Rourke got really drunk in London last Saturday and blew a rose, or the fact that he looked really good at it. Damn, he's getting me all hot.

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Eugenia Volodina at the 2008 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Remember Eugenia Volodina, the model that hooked up with Mickey Rourke back in May? She's embarrassed about it, really really embarrassed about it. She's threatening to sue me unless I take the picture down of the two of them together (pic here). Received this from her lawyer over the weekend:
To whom it may concern:

We are acting on behalf of the Russian model Eugenia Volodina.

Our client has informed us that there are pictures of her and the actor Mickey Rourke posted under http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/2009/05/mickey-rourke-nailed-this.php?bfm_index=25&bfm_page=0.

Our client has not agreed to these pictures being published. These are pictures taken without the consent of our client during a private party. Therefore the publishing of these pictures infringes the rights of our client under European law.

We therefore ask you to delete the above named pictures and allegations immediately.

If the pictures and allegations will not be deleted by

Friday, September 18, 2009

we will have to suggest to our client to take immediate legal action against you. We would therefore like to inform you, that the publication in question is published in Germany. Therefore the publication is obviously also addressed to German readers. This means that a German court can decide upon the infringement of the rights of our client.

Sincerely Yours

Christian-Oliver Moser

Rechtsanwalt

Fachanwalt für Gewerblichen Rechtschutz
Look Eugenia, you're just gonna have to accept the fact that you hooked up with Mickey Rourke. I know it looks like his face caught on fire and someone put it out with track spikes, but look on the bright side, you can always kill yourself. Like a tall bridge for example. You can jump off that. Suddenly your predicament doesn't seem so bad now, does it?

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Mickey Rourke leaving Stringfellows lap dancing club in London (8/27)

You know, I was all set to make fun of Mickey Rourke for acting like a drunken idiot Thursday morning after leaving Stringfellows lap dancing club in London. And then I saw his receipt for the night (here).

*bows down in respect*

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Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: