Recently in Mickey Rourke Category

Mickey Rourke Halloween Costume

Mickey Rourke outside Voyeur nightclub in West Hollywood (10/29)

Mickey Rourke and Cheyenne Tozzi out and about in New York (9/15)

Remember the story a few weeks ago about that lingerie model really not wanting people to know that Mickey Rourke got into her pants. Well, he did it again. Mickey was spotted all over New York last week with a new model, 20-year-old Australian Cheyenne Tozzi. I think I know what's going on here. Models are dumb, really really dumb. She must think she's dating the hot 9½ Weeks version of Mickey, not the disgusting 9½ plastic surgeries version.

Mickey Rourke leaving Jalouse nightclub in London (9/10)

I don't know what's more disturbing about these pics: that Mickey Rourke got really drunk in London last Saturday and blew a rose, or the fact that he looked really good at it. Damn, he's getting me all hot.

Eugenia Volodina at the 2008 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Remember Eugenia Volodina, the model that hooked up with Mickey Rourke back in May? She's embarrassed about it, really really embarrassed about it. She's threatening to sue me unless I take the picture down of the two of them together (pic here). Received this from her lawyer over the weekend:

To whom it may concern:

We are acting on behalf of the Russian model Eugenia Volodina.

Our client has informed us that there are pictures of her and the actor Mickey Rourke posted under http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/2009/05/mickey-rourke-nailed-this.php?bfm_index=25&bfm_page=0.

Our client has not agreed to these pictures being published. These are pictures taken without the consent of our client during a private party. Therefore the publishing of these pictures infringes the rights of our client under European law.

We therefore ask you to delete the above named pictures and allegations immediately.

If the pictures and allegations will not be deleted by

Friday, September 18, 2009

we will have to suggest to our client to take immediate legal action against you. We would therefore like to inform you, that the publication in question is published in Germany. Therefore the publication is obviously also addressed to German readers. This means that a German court can decide upon the infringement of the rights of our client.

Sincerely Yours

Christian-Oliver Moser

Rechtsanwalt

Fachanwalt für Gewerblichen Rechtschutz

Look Eugenia, you're just gonna have to accept the fact that you hooked up with Mickey Rourke. I know it looks like his face caught on fire and someone put it out with track spikes, but look on the bright side, you can always kill yourself. Like a tall bridge for example. You can jump off that. Suddenly your predicament doesn't seem so bad now, does it?

Mickey Rourke leaving Stringfellows lap dancing club in London (8/27)

You know, I was all set to make fun of Mickey Rourke for acting like a drunken idiot Thursday morning after leaving Stringfellows lap dancing club in London. And then I saw his receipt for the night (here).

*bows down in respect*

Mickey Rourke leaving The Wellington Club in London (7/22)

Mickey Rourke got absolutely fucked up again last night in London. When he wasn't busy punching traffic barriers (for the second straight night), he was stealing Jesus statues. He's playing a dangerous game there. You fuck with Jesus and you just might find yourself getting struck by lightning, potentially scarring and disfiguring your beautiful face . . . now that I think about it, go ahead and steal that statue Mickey. You really have nothing to worry about.

Mickey Rourke leaving The Wellington Club in London (7/21)

That's Mickey Rourke knocking out a traffic barrier last night as he was leaving The Wellington Club in London. In Mickey's defense, that barrier shouldn't have been so fucking orange.

Eugenia Volodina

Don't doubt for a second that famous people -- no matter what they look like -- can pretty much bang whoever they want. Above is Eugenia Volodina, a 24-year-old Victoria's Secret model. Eugenia ran into 56-year-old Mickey Rouke at the Bijoux Lounge in New York on Tuesday night. And then started making out with him two seconds later. Just one Oscar nomination. That's all I'm asking for God. Pretty please? From the Daily Mail:

It appears it was lust at first sight for the pair as she grabbed his thigh and he got her in a headlock before they started kissing passionately in front of their friends. The actor, who was sporting white highlights in his tousled hair, was in his element as he partied with a bevy of significantly younger models at the Bijoux Lounge in the Big Apple's Meatpacking district.

Observers of the sleazy scene were left to wonder exactly what was going on. Mickey was introduced to the Vogue cover girl Eugenie by KyKy Cornille, the owner of the Bijoux Lounge, a frequent celebrity haunt.

If Mickey wasn't famous, he would have been lucky to get the word "Mickey" out -- as in "Hi, I'm Mickey Rourke" -- before being pepper-sprayed. It really is amazing what being in movies can do for someone. I actually wrote a research paper about it when I was in college. I found that every Oscar nomination a man receives is equivalent to adding two inches to your penis and another pack to your abs. In a chick's mind, fucking someone like Jack Nicholson is basically like fucking Secretariat.

Mickey Rourke is getting a new face

It's Christmas in July for Mickey Rourke! Why July? That's when he's flying down to Argentina to get a new face. Plastic surgery in South America? Gee, what could possibly go wrong? From Momento24:

"Mickey Rourke will come to Argentina at the end of July," confirmed Dr. Cristian Pérez Latorre, surgeon, who spoke with Momento24. "For the moment, we maintained telephone contact. He contacts to us across a friend and patient that I had and she lives there. [Mickey] has a problem similar as Priscilla Presley, a facial surgery with silicon grafts very badly realized and not only that, but his nose must be reconstructed."

"All his face will be reconstructed, we will remove everything he has been done before until now and will do the work again. His face is inflated. We will do a nose correction, a lift correction and a reconstructive surgery with laser. In 48 hrs he will recover and for a few weeks his face will be inflamed and in 30 days he will be able to show a perfect face."

Parts of his body are going to be completely rebuilt with high tech lasers and drastic reconstructive surgery? It sounds like Mickey is being turned into the Six Million Dollar Man . . . if the Six Million Dollar Man was a vain, self-absorbed, over-the-hill actor. If Mickey didn't learn his lesson after his first surgery when he came out looking like a burn victim, he better not be too upset this time when he ends up looking like someone even worse: Jocelyn Wildenstein Perez Hilton.

Mickey Rourke outside My House nightclub in West Hollywood (4/1)

Bai Ling -- who seemingly has no shame whatsoever -- really really really doesn't want you to think she hooked up with Mickey Rourke. Earlier in January, Ling "accosted" Rourke at a party in Hollywood and the two made out all night. The actress' -- and I use that term in the loosest sense imaginable -- publicist told the New York Post:

"While Bai Ling, who is single, has dated a lot during her career, she isn't some 'whore' who hooks on to rising actors. She considers Mickey Rourke a friend. He sent a car for her. She never had an interest in dating him. The next day it was all over the tabloids . . . Though she is an iconoclast with her fashion, too often she's mislabeled as a tawdry Holly Golightly."

Uh oh. If Mickey's smart, he'll cash in on his new-found 15 minutes STAT. Because if a nobody like Bai Ling is denying she hooked up with you, you know your career is circling the toilet. It's great how Bai's agent made a point of letting everyone know that his client isn't a "whore." I completely agree. I've always called the girls I've "visited" that look like her "deep tissue masseuses" . . . that forget to wear their tops.*

*BTW, if you've seen Bai Ling topless, you'll find yourself thinking: "That's not a nipple . . . that's a Space Station." (Link NSFW)