Joe Jackson (with Jesse Jackson) outside his house in Encino (6/26)
Cut out of his son Michael's will earlier this week, Joe Jackson is doing exactly the dignified thing you'd expect: he's going down swinging. From the Chicago Sun Times:
It's hard to believe, but a source close to Joe Jackson -- who is working with him on several new business projects -- says the outspoken patriarch of the Jackson clan may find himself further alienating his estranged wife, Katherine Jackson, and a number of his children.
The reason? Joe Jackson reportedly made several comments Tuesday -- after learning details about Michael Jackson's will -- that he might consider challenging the document that reportedly doesn't mention him at all. Though it's well-known that Joe Jackson had had a difficult and often strained relationship with his son, my source tells me he was "still pretty pissed that there was no mention of him in the will whatsoever."
Dude, I really think this guy is Satan. Look at that picture of him above -- taken mere hours after his son's death. He looks like he's at a fucking carnival. I've seen kids at Disneyland holding cotton candy in one hand and a balloon in the other who looked less happy than that.
The whole world is pissed off at OK! magazine right now -- not for spending $500,000 on Michael Jackson's "last" pic (he was probably dead in the pic), but for tastelessly putting the pic on the cover of their "tribute" issue. From the New York Post:
OK! magazine spent more than $500,000 on the "last" picture of Michael Jackson on a stretcher and possibly dead -- but was it worth it? Our well-placed source says some staffers objected to owner Richard Desmond's decision to put the ghoulish picture on this week's cover -- and it looks like advertisers and readers may agree. The source told us, "Media buyers have canceled upcoming meetings to discuss rates. It's a disgrace. They've sunk to a new low." In addition, Sean Combs and Jay-Z are said to be so furious, "they're organizing a boycott," according to our source.
The fact that OK! magazine put THIS picture on the cover of their publication is not only tasteless, but disgraceful. Considering how absolutely shocking and compelling it is, it's no wonder Diddy and Jay-Z are so upset about THIS picture. Anyone that would use THIS picture just to draw attention to their magazine/website is not only heartless, but exploiting a person's untimely death for their own financial gain -- and by THIS picture, I mean THIS one.
You force your lawyer to issue a statement that your son loved you. Wow.
Three stories about Joe Jackson I pulled off the Internet not told at the Jackson Family reunion.
1. Michael said that his father beat him and that "just a look would scare you." Michael said that he would get physically sick — as a child and as an adult — just at the sight of his father. He also spoke of emotional abuse. "I was so shy I would wash my face in the dark," Michael said, referring to an acne outbreak. "I wouldn't look in the mirror and my father teased me. I just hated it. I would cry every day. He would tell me I'm ugly."
2. Michael had a pet guinea pig "sparky" that Joe absolutely hated. One day Michael came home to find the cage empty. Joe explained that sparky had run away. That night, Michael was surprised when his father served him dinner (beef stroganoff), as Katherine usually did the serving. After dinner, Joe asked Michael if enjoyed dinner and Michael replied that he had. Joe then dropped the bombshell that he had killed sparky and mixed him into the beef stroganoff. Michael was horrified.
3. One night while Michael was asleep, Joseph climbed into his room through the bedroom window. Wearing a fright mask, he entered the room screaming and shouting. Joseph said he wanted to teach his children not to leave the window open when they went to sleep. For years afterward, Michael suffered nightmares about being kidnapped from his bedroom.
Though Michael Jackson died with debts of $500 million, it's believed his assets outweigh the debt by $200 million. Which is good news for those mentioned in his will, which surfaced yesterday. Good news for his mom Katherine, his three kids, and "one or more" charities. Wait, I didn't see his dad Joe mentioned. There must be some mistake. Maybe the Wall Street Journal can help clear up the matter:
One or two other earlier wills have emerged since Mr. Jackson's death last Thursday, according to people familiar with the situation. The Associated Press reported that Mr. Jackson's parents, Joseph and Katherine Jackson, said in a Monday court filing that they believed the singer had died without a valid will. Joseph Jackson isn't believed to be included in the most recent will.
It would have been nice to be mentioned in Michael's will, but the fact of the matter is that he really doesn't need the money. If you watch the clip I posted earlier of him at the press conference yesterday, you'll notice that Joe uses phrases like "we have fans all over the world" and "we're loved all the world." With fans all over the world, Joe must have a cajillion dollars in the bank. Hell, he probably told Michael to leave him out of the will, so the charities could get more. It just seems like the sort of selfless thing he would do.
Michael Jackson, son Prince and daughter Paris, leaving Tom's Toys in Beverly Hills (5/15)
Michael Jackson never put his sperm in any of his three kids . . . wait, that sounded really bad. I mean to say he's not the biological father. And his ex-wife Debbie Rowe is not the biological mother to the two children she gave birth to, Prince in 1997 and Paris in 1998. All three kids were test tube babies. From TMZ:
Multiple sources deeply connected to the births tell us Michael was not the sperm donor for any of his kids. Debbie's eggs were not used. She was merely the surrogate, and paid well for her services in the births of Michael Jr. and Paris.
In the case of Prince Michael II (the youngest), we're told the surrogate was never told of the identity of the "receiving parent" -- Michael Jackson. Three days after Prince was born at Grossmont Hospital in San Diego County, Jackson's lawyer came to the hospital to pick the baby up and deliver him to Michael.
We do not know if Jackson chose the sperm or egg donors or if he even knew who they were.
Hate to say I saw this coming but I did. Just looking at their skin color and feathers, it's pretty obvious they were conceived by another man.
Joe Jackson is still heartbroken by his son's death
Following his gut-wrenching interview Sunday at the BET Awards in which he could *barely* promote his new record label, Michael Jackson's father Joe held a news conference in Encino yesterday. Before hitting the play button, try and guess what he spends the opening 40 seconds talking about:
1. How heartbroken he is over the death of his son. 2. How his son's children are doing in the wake of their father's death. 3. Marantz Records distributed by BlueStar and Blu-ray.
Go ahead, guess. I bet you'll never get it, not even in 100 years.
Michael Jackson's dad gave his first public interview Sunday at the BET Awards in Los Angeles. Just a warning, this is really hard to watch -- especially at the 3:13 mark when Joe barely musters the strength to promote his new record label. Heartbreaking stuff.
Michael Jackson only weighed 112 pounds when he died, claims The Sun
Even though TMZ is claiming the details are fake, The Sun supposedly obtained the initial results from Michael Jackson's autopsy. And they're not as sexy as I thought they'd be. A source close to the Jackson entourage told The Sun:
"Michael’s family and fans will be horrified when they realize the appalling state he was in. He was skin and bone, his hair had fallen out and had been eating nothing but pills when he died. Injection marks all over his body and the disfigurement caused by years of plastic surgery show he’d been in terminal decline for years. His doctors and the hangers-on stood by as he self-destructed. Somebody is going to have to pay."
If you're looking for a silver lining here, the source also claims that Jackson weighed just 112 pounds when he died. So, ya know, at least he wasn't fat. The Sun also claims the disfigurement on his face was the result of 13 cosmetic operations. You know what'd be fun? Find the plastic surgeon that performed that 13th operation. Drag him out of his Mercedes CL63 AMG. Tie him to a telephone pole. Fill a canvas bag with bricks of 20s. And then ironically beat him to death with it.
Sacha Baron Cohen at the premiere of Bruno held at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood (6/25)
A scene featuring La Toya Jackson was cut from Bruno just a few hours before the premiere in Hollywood yesterday. From The Sun:
The scene was axed just a few minutes before last night's premiere of the movie in LA after producers heard of MICHAEL JACKSON's death. In it the gay Austrian fashion reporter pesters LaToya repeatedly about Michael, as he uses a Mexican immigrant for a chair.
The studio confirmed the cut to the Wall Street Journal, with a source saying: "Even in the often-shocking comedy, jokes at the expense of the late Mr Jackson would have been in poor taste." The studio added that they did not expect the scene to be restored for the film's worldwide release on July 10.
After reading this story, there was a brief moment where I thought to myself: "Wow, Sascha Baron Cohen does have a heart." But then I read it again and noticed something -- HE WAS USING A MEXICAN IMMIGRANT AS A CHAIR! If you think they took this scene out of the movie for something altruistic like "avoiding jokes at the expense of the late Mr. Jackson," you're kidding yourself. They took it out so they wouldn't have the expense of using Union labor on the sequel.
It looks like Michael Jackson was actually dead in that final photo I posted of him earlier this morning. According to TMZ (now with 401k plan! and paid vacation), EMTs wanted to pronounce him dead on the scene, but Michael's personal doctor insisted that they take him to the hospital:
When EMTs arrived there was evidence someone had been performing CPR on Michael for "quite some time." There was evidence of Lidocaine -- an old-school drug that can be used to treat disturbances in the heart's rhythm. Medics took over performing CPR but determined Jackson was lifeless -- and wanted to call the coroner to pick up the body.
We're told Jackson was flat-lined when EMTs arrived. But our sources say M.J.'s doc demanded EMTs continue performing CPR anyway, and demanded that they take Michael to the hospital.
Once they arrived at UCLA, we're told Jackson's doc continued to personally administer CPR -- even though it was clear Jackson was already gone.
You know what's weird? Just replace the words "Michael Jackson" with "Lindsay Lohan's career" and that story still makes complete sense.
