Michael Bay

Michael Bay and a "female friend" leaving the Chateau Marmont in West Hollywood (6/23)

Things we learned about Michael Bay over the weekend: He loves huge tits. Like, comicly huge. If your tits don't look like they came straight from the doodle pad of a 15-year-old boy, don't even bother with him.

*10 Michael Bay pictures total in the gallery:

Michael Bay shooting the new Victoria's Secret commercial at Alex Rodriguez's mansion in Miami (2/16)

As mentioned earlier this morning, here's Michael Bay shooting the new Victoria's Secret commercial in Miami yesterday. Guy's worth half a billion dollars so why not do something truly enjoyable with your free time like stare at supermodels in bikinis all day? It's why I plan on buying a whole bunch of cats once I retire from Celebslam. "Yarn fiiiiiight!"

*45 Victoria's Secret commercial pictures total in the gallery:

Transformers: Dark of the Moon looks familiar

Michael Bay's Transformers: Dark of the Moon dominated the box office over the weekend, raking in $97.5 domestically, bringing its total worldwide gross to $399.1 million over its six-day opening. And it did it using recycled footage from his 2005 movie, The Island. Which is a huge middle finger to filmgoers considering the new film had a $200 million budget. Wow, I'm just shocked Michael was able to find an old scene of his featuring explosions and cars flipping through the air. What crazy luck!



UPDATE: This isn't the first time he's done this:

Megan Fox at the premiere of Jennifer's Body at the Ryerson Theatre in Toronto (9/11)

Megan Fox is not well-loved by all men. Take the Transformers crew for example. They hate the bitch. After Megan pretty much called director Michael Bay 'Hitler' in a recent interview with Wonderland magazine, a few crew members posted a lengthy open letter on Bay's website blasting her (excerpts below, full version on PAGE 2):

"This is an open letter to all Michael Bay fans. We are three crew members that have worked with Michael for the past ten years. Last week we read the terrible article with inflammatory, truly trashing quotes by the Ms. Fox about Michael Bay. This letter is to set a few things straight . . . we've had the tedious experience of working with the dumb-as-a-rock Megan Fox on both Transformers movies. We've spent a total of 12 months on set making these two movies.

"When facing the press, Megan is the queen of talking trailer trash and posing like a porn star. And yes we've had the unbearable time of watching her try to act on set, and yes, it's very cringe-able. So maybe, being a porn star in the future might be a good career option. But make-up beware, she has a paragraph tattooed to her backside (probably due her rotten childhood) easily another 45 minutes in the chair!

"Megan has been late to the sets many times. She goes through the motions that make her exude this sense of misery. We've heard the A.D's piped over the radio that Megan won't walk from her trailer until John Turturro walks first! John's done seventy-five movies and she's made two!"

Bay responded:

I don't condone the crew letter to Megan. And I don't condone Megan's outlandish quotes. But her crazy quips are part of her crazy charm. The fact of the matter I still love working with her, and I know we still get along. I even expect more crazy quotes from her on Transformers 3.

Michael

I'd say Michael Bay was actually responsible for this letter if it weren't for one tiny detail: it had writing in it.

Megan Fox and Michael Bay at the German premiere of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen at the Potsdamer Platz Square in Berlin (6/14)

Megan Fox scored the lead in Transformers in a rather unorthodox way. She washed the director's car. Wait, what? From Jason Solomons at The Observer:

Talking to Megan Fox who was in town for the Transformers 2 premiere, I found her more forthright and intelligent than her performance in the mega-hit would suggest. The role demands that she drapes herself over motorbikes and runs around in a vest. How did she get the part which has made her what lads' mags call the "hottest girl on the planet". She told me she went to director Michael Bay's house to audition and he made her wash his Ferrari while he filmed her. She said she didn't know what had happened to that footage. When I put it to Bay himself, he looked suitably abashed. "Er, I don't know where it is either."

Please tell me "wash my car" is a euphemism for "dress up in this French maid outfit and suck me like a popsicle on a warm summer day." If not, Michael Bay is totally gay.