Mel Gibson's mug shot
As part of the plea agreement he struck last week for assaulting his ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, Mel Gibson stopped by the El Segundo Police Department last night for fingerprinting and booking. Jesus, does he have to be so serious? He should have worn one of those "I'm with Stupid" shirts that have the big arrow on them. Now who's the stupid one, Mr. Arresting Officer? Not Mel!
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Mel Gibson strikes plea deal
Mel Gibson struck -- pun intended -- a plea deal today and will avoid jail time for assaulting his commie ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva (mind you, Mel admitted to hitting her in a sworn declaration). Sweet, you can hit chicks now and not go to jail? I never knew that. Was that one of those new laws that passed this year? This changes my whole outlook on life. Let's see that whore waitress bring my potato skins late again! Mel's attorney Blair Berk said in a statement:
"I know from almost 20 years as a criminal defense lawyer that sometimes justice can come for a client at too high a personal price," Gibson's attorney Blair Berk said in a statement this morning. "That is particularly so for Mel, whose right to due process can only be exercised in this case with an enormous media circus attached.As part of Mel's plea deal, he'll have to serve 6 months as Charlie Sheen's assistant. That's almost, like, worse than jail. Can you imagine waking up every morning knowing that, at some point during the day, you're going to have to clean up a puddle of semen?
"Mel's priority through all of this has been that the best interests of his young daughter Lucia and the rest of his children be put first in any decisions made. It is with only that in mind that he asked me to approach the District Attorney with a proposal that would bring all of this to an immediate end."
*5 Mel Gibson pictures total in the gallery:
Mel Gibson's church in Malibu
Mel Gibson shut down his church this week after one of his parishioners sold a photo of him playing with his daughter Lucia (this one) to TMZ. Wow, can you imagine traveling back to 1985 and reading someone that last sentence? You'd get punched in the face. From TMZ:
Sources connected with the church tell us ... Gibson was "extremely concerned about the invasion of privacy." One source adds, "He is not just concerned that photos of his daughter were taken at the church, he is concerned for the privacy of his parishioners."It's sad Mel had to do this, but I understand his concern. If a guy can't get a little privacy at his own cult compound, where can he get it? Oh well, at least now Mel has a lot of free time on Sunday to watch football . . . or go deer-hunting with his bare hands.
Members of the Holy Family Chapel in Agoura, CA received an email notice from church honchos yesterday which read, "There will be no Masses here at Holy Family Chapel until further notice."
Our sources tell us, however, that limited services will continue to be provided. In fact, a service was conducted yesterday -- the Holy Day of Obligation -- for long term parishioners.
*6 Mel Gibson church pictures total in the gallery:
Oksana Grigorieva will not be posing nude
Playboy offered Mel Gibson's dumbass ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva $75k to pose for the magazine, but she politely declined . . . and by "politely declined" I mean she had her rep feign outrage at even the mere thought that she would do such a thing for money. To recap: Blackmail your ex-boyfriend because you're too lazy to get a real job? Sure, why not! Take your clothes off for a series of tasteful nude photographs. Heavens no! From TMZ:
Steve Jaffe, Oksana's PR guy, tells TMZ ... "Not now, not ever, nor for any amount of money, would our client, Oksana Grigorieva, even consider any offer to pose for Playboy. Someone might have sent an email to one of her representatives but that's not news."Bitch you have implants -- stop trying to act like you're somehow above posing for Playboy. Hell, you should be happy they actually offered you $75k and not what most chicks would take: beads. Oksana not wanting to show off her fake tits would be like if I drove around town in Jeff Gordon's #24 car and got mad when someone pulled up to the stoplight next to me wanting to race. "Leave me alone dammit! I'm just going to the store to get some milk!"
TMZ first reported ... Playboy offered O.G. the cover, writing to one of Oksana's reps in an email dated October 15 and obtained by TMZ, "It would be $75k with cover try."
*16 Oksana Grigorieva pictures total in the gallery:
Mel Gibson is back
Did Mel Gibson retire or something? I haven't heard much lately about him working. I guess it's my own fault -- I don't really follow current events . . . what ever happened with that guy? From the New York Post:
Mel Gibson is taking a stab at saving his movie career with a comedy role as a tattoo artist in "The Hangover 2." The troubled star, who was dropped by the William Morris Endeavor agency in July and has also faced allegations that he assaulted and made threats against his ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, has signed to play a Bangkok tattooist in the highly anticipated comedy.Does Mel Gibson really think that audiences will forget about all the crazy shit he's done recently if he has a quirky cameo in The Hangover 2? Newsflash Mel: Tom Cruise tried the same lame gimmick in Tropic Thunder and his career fell so far into the toilet that soon after he
A source told Page Six, "It's a done deal. Mel will make a cameo as a tattoo artist. Filming is taking place on the Warner Bros. lot, where a Bangkok set has been built, and Mel is expected to film his role in two weeks. Then the production moves to Thailand at the end of October."
*10 Mel Gibson pictures total in the gallery:
Mel Gibson involved in single-car accident
Mel Gibson crashed his Maserati into a hillside in Malibu last night. Much to the relief of gold-digging whores everywhere, his check-writing hand was not hurt. From TMZ:
Gibson was driving a 2008 Maserati, which had to be towed from the scene.A 2008 Maserati? Ouch. That is going to be really expensive for Mel's mechanic to fix. Hopefully he's able to Jew him down . . .
According to the CHP report "For unknown reasons, Mr. Gibson steered his car to the right and struck the rock hillside. He stopped his car at the scene and was contacted by officers from the West Valley CHP Area."
CHP Public Information Officer Leland Tang tells TMZ ... "Gibson told officers in the field he did not know how the car drifted out of the lane and into the hillside." Tang said his officers followed up by asking Gibson if he was on a cell phone and he said no. Tang adds officers also asked Gibson if he had dozed off "but he did not give a firm 'yes' or 'no'." Gibson just repeated several times, "I don't know how the car left the roadway."
The report goes on, "Mr. Gibson supplied all the pertinent information to the officers at the scene, gave a statement, and received a ride home from a friend."
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Oksana Grigorieva leaving Ralph's supermarket in L.A. (7/11)
Mel Gibson's gold-digging ex Oksana Grigorieva actually signed a confidentiality agreement with him that would have netted her $15 million . . . but then she walked away from it. Ouch. Whore #1 needs to give this chick a good talking to. From TMZ:
Sources tell TMZ, during the child custody mediation in May, lawyers for Mel and Oksana worked out a financial deal for Oksana -- she would get a total of $15 mil, which included child support, a house and other assets.I'm sure Oksana will look back on this 20 years from now and be glad she didn't take Mel's $15 million. Sure she could have bought a sick Malibu beach house, some diamond jewelry, and a new Ferrari 599 GTO, but none of that would have made her happier. OK, maybe the Ferrari would have. Seriously, have you ever seen an angry person driving a Ferrari? Hell no you haven't. It's like Oksana doesn't even care that the 599 did a lap at Fiorano in 1:24 flat -- the 3rd fastest time by a street legal Ferrari in history. Dammit, I hate this bitch even more now. I hope she gets hit by a Ferrari.
But sources intimately familiar with the mediation tell us Oksana promised something in return -- that all "evidence" associated with the case remain confidential. We've learned the "evidence" includes the tapes.
Oksana and Mel both signed a "short form agreement" -- a bare-bones contract outlining the broad strokes of the deal. The lawyers then drafted a long form agreement which contained specifics of the deal, but we're told Oksana refused to sign the long form, claiming she felt coerced.
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She should have listened the first time
Radar (site's down right now) posted what Oksana Grigorieva says is a picture of her busted-up face after Mel Gibson punched her. There's just one problem. It's probably a fake. Oh I know, right? If you can't trust a shady Russian adulteress who uses her womb like an ATM, who can you trust anymore? TMZ says:
Sources connected with the dentist who treated Oksana Grigorieva tell TMZ the dentist believes "100% the photo circulating on the Internet has been altered."I knew it. I knew this bitch was lying from the start. Years of watching '80s action films have taught me to always question the motives of commies like Oksana. What else are you lying about Comrade Grigorieva -- what else are you hiding? That's a nice cell phone you're holding . . . OR SHOULD I SAY SECRET SPY TRANSMITTER!!! *smashes it to the ground* . . . aw shit, turns out it actually was a phone.
We're told Dr. Ross Shelden is saying, "The nose is not hers. The lips are not right. It's not a true and accurate picture. It has definitely been altered."
We're also told the doctor says the teeth are in fact Oksana's, reaffirming that the teeth are intact, but one veneer was damaged and one was broken. We have specific information about the dentist's observations ... and they raise serious questions about the nature of Oksana's alleged injury.
*6 photos total in the gallery:
Mel Gibson audio tape released
Needless to say, this is way way way NSFW . . . unless you happen to be a secretary at KKK National Headquarters. "Aw god dammit, the copier's out of ink again."
Turns out Mel Gibson doesn't just hate jews and blacks -- he also hates Mexicans. I know, right? Did not see that coming. From Radar:
Mel Gibson has been caught on tape making ANOTHER bigoted remark, this time against Latinos, RadarOnline.com is reporting exclusively. The Oscar-winning director/actor is heard referring to one of his staffers as a “wetback” during a recorded argument with Oksana Grigorieva, the mother of his love child.The joke's on you Mel! Some Mexicans know how to read and they are not going to be happy with this article. Good luck trying to find someone to mow your lawn now! Wait a minute . . . that was really really racist. Aw dammit I suck at this. I quit.
RadarOnline.com has heard the tape in which Mel tells Oksana: “I will report her to the fucking people that take fucking money from the wetbacks.”
He is referring to turning a worker into immigration authorities, RadarOnline.com has been told.
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