Mel Gibson leaving Nobu restaurant in Malibu after a six hour meeting with tequila (8/8)
I guess we have to stop making fun of Mel Gibson. His 2006 drunk driving conviction has been expunged from his record. From the
Los Angeles Times:
A judge today agreed to expunge Mel Gibson's conviction that followed an infamous Malibu drunk driving arrest in which the actor made anti-Semitic comments to a sheriff's deputy. As part of his 2006 conviction, Gibson agreed to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, perform in public service announcements and pay $1,300 in fines to resolve the drunk driving case.
As a first-time drunk-driving offender, Gibson was eligible to have the conviction removed from his record after completing the terms of his probation. The expunging request and procedure is routine and took place before Judge Lawrence J. Mira during a 90-second hearing.
If only we could go back and get other things expunged from not just our record, but our life. People would finally look at me as more than just the "Portland Panty Bandit."
Mel Gibson in Las Vegas (7/24)
Paris Hilton is lucky to be alive today. She was almost beheaded and then gutted by Mel Gibson earlier this month in Beverly Hills. From the
National Enquirer:
Mel Gibson was annoyed while shoe shopping with his pregnant Russian girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva at Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills on August 1 -- because the salesgirl was taking too long to help them. As it turns out, the clerk was preoccupied with assisting two other customers: Paris and Nicky Hilton. The sisters tried on at least 20 pairs of shoes between them! Thankfully, hot-tempered Mel kept his cool. (Print Edition - 8/17)
Oh how the mighty have fallen. Three years ago if Mel Gibson had gone shopping at Neiman Marcus they would have shut down the store. Today, he has to wait for the world's largest living petri dish to finish before he even gets any attention. Of course what's most surprising about this story isn't that two celebrities were trying on shoes at the same time. It's that Paris was shopping for shoes in the women's department. They actually make sizes
that big?
Mel Gibson leaving Nobu restaurant in Malibu (8/8)
Mel Gibson at around 8:30ish Saturday night at Nobu: "Can I get you a drink sir?" . . . "Sure, I'd like a gin & tonic. Thanks."
3 hours later: "Can I get you another drink sir?" . . . "GUHHHHHHHHHHHH."
Mel Gibson outside his church last year Still insane. Last week in Malibu, he went on a "crazed rant" against all the gossipers at his private church. From
RadarOnline:
“Mel’s completely lost it,” a source told RadarOnline.com. "[His] holier than thou world is falling apart around him -- all these years he’s been preaching the good holy word, and now that the wizard’s curtain has been pulled back, we find that Mel hasn’t been practicing what he preaches.”
In front of two priests and a visiting bishop, Gibson made a huge scene when he "paced back and forth, furiously telling the congregation that he would not stand by and be judged and scrutinized," a source told RadarOnline.com.
“Mel got up on his stage -- the altar -- and went off. He tried to intimidate the parishioners by staring at everyone with his angry eyes. Mel even threatened to shut down the church if people kept gossiping about him. The bottom line is that if Mel hadn’t cheated on his wife and gotten his Russian girlfriend pregnant, there wouldn’t be much to gossip about - he created this mess, and now he’s trying to control it."
Are there any religious groups Mel won't insult? First it was the Jews during
his DUI arrest a few years ago and now it's his own Church congregation. If Mel keeps this up, he'll run out of religions to offend and will be stuck joining the only group that actually accepts whack jobs like himself:
The View Scientology. Besides, if Mel didn't want to be criticized, he never should have become a Hollywood star -- he should have become President Obama.
Mel Gibson is still freaking crazy To help him cope with the stress of losing
$450 million to his ex-wife, Mel Gibson recently purchased a "flow machine" -- a weird, futuristic, stress-relieving device that almost certainly doesn't work but probably has a bunch of cool flashing lights and shit. The cost? Only $100,000. A source told the
National Enquirer:
"Most people would look at the machine and think Mel's definitely lost his mind. You lie on this machine and strap your feet in. The device then emits some kind of 'torsion field waves' that are supposed to unblock clogged energy which eases psychological tension. It's pretty strange but Mel swears by it.
"From telephone healing sessions to therapeutic foot baths, Mel's tried it all. The flow machine is Mel's latest holistic gadget. Some in his camp are shaking their heads and saying Mel's getting weirder with age. They think the flow machine is just another part of his midlife crisis." (Print Edition - 5/25)
Mel Gibson just called you out Tom Cruise. Your move. Here's my idea. Mel built his own church in Malibu and everyone called him crazy, right? It was definitely a ballsy move and it's gonna be hard to top. So here's what you need to do: one-up him. Build your own church in Malibu . . .
made entirely of babies -- and steel I-beams for support so you can pass code
-- but mainly babies! It's what needs to be done if you want to regain your title as craziest motherfucker in Hollywood.
Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva Mel Gibson's girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva is set to cash in once she pops out
his baby -- to the tune of 10 million bucks. She's basically carrying a winning lottery ticket in her womb right now. To recap, this kid hasn't even gotten rid of his tail yet and he's already worth more than me. Kill self? From Bill Zwecker the
Chicago Sun Times:
On Friday, I learned Gibson also has agreed to pay Grigorieva $10 million, ‘‘the moment her baby is born, and not one second beforehand.’’ In addition, the singer — who developed her relationship with Gibson after signing with the record label he owns — will be guaranteed $40,000 per month in child support until the kid is 18.
On top of that all of the child’s educational expenses — including private elementary and high school costs, plus undergraduate college expenses — will be paid by Gibson.
If the couple do marry, I also understand a preliminary prenuptial agreement is in place that would pay Grigorieva an additional $25 million, with the stipulation being she would not be entitled to any other claim on Gibson’s fortune or potential estate if they are married at the time of this death.
Ambition, drive, and work ethic. Apparently those traits are for
suckers. If you really want to become wealthy, you just need to follow
three simple steps: 1. Sleep with an old rich dude, 2. Tell him
you're on the pill, 3. Profit. With so much money on the line, at this
point Oksana's probably praying for just one thing: that she gives
birth to
a healthy baby triplets.
Mel Gibson and his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva at the premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine in Hollywood (4/28)
Mel Gibson confirmed his mistress
Oksana Grigorieva's pregnancy last night on
The Tonight Show. Via
People:
Gibson, 53, said he took the blame for the divorce. "My wife and I, our marriage ended three years ago and we've been separated ever since then," Gibson said. "These things happen. It's unfortunate, it's sad, but you know she is an admirable woman - we still got kids together. We're friends."
When Leno pressed Gibson by asking, "So what happened?" Gibson replied, "Look. When it's all said and done, I did a pretty good hatchet job on my marriage myself. I'm to blame. If you're inclined to judge, put it here."
Leno then joked with Gibson about his dating a younger woman. "What, is she 17, 18?" Leno asked. Gibson replied that Grigorieva was almost 40 and "now I am going to have two women mad at me!" Leno then said, "The rumor I have heard is that you guys are going to have a child?" Gibson then confirmed, "This is true. We're gonna have a child."
Piling it on, Leno joked, "So that will make 29? " Quickly, Gibson responded, "Well, actually eight. I guess I'm Octo-Mel."
Interesting that Mel made a joke about the Octomom. He knows he's like ten times more insane than her, right? Like, there's still some stuff that crazy bitch could do that would surprise me. "Octomom signed a multimillion dollar deal to do MILF porn? No fucking way!" Well there is literally nothing Mel Gibson could do that would surprise me. "Mel Gibson bought ten African orphan newborns on the black market and is pumping their blood through his own body in the hopes that it makes him feel twenty years younger? OK, yeah, I can see that."
Mel Gibson and his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva at the premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine in Hollywood (4/28)
Mel Gibson forgot to pull out of
his mistress Oksana Grigorieva. Result? She's pregnant. Ta da! From
TMZ:
Our sources say Gibson has already told his estranged wife, Robyn, and their children about the news. We're told Oksana is in her second trimester.
Robyn filed for divorce on April 13.
By the way, Oksana is living in a house Mel got for her. And guess what else? Until recently, Oksana was living in a house purchased by songwriter/producer David Foster, with whom she also had a relationship.
So it's always been your dream to be a famous movie star? OK, take out your wallet. Now light it on fire. Congratulations you're Mel Gibson.
Mel Gibson and his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva at the premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine in Hollywood (4/28)
Oh wait, no they're not. Everyone thinks he's a dick. At the premiere of
X-Men on Thursday, you'd have thought Mel had swine flu. From the
Chicago Sun Times:
The "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" premiere this week was Mel Gibson's first official outing with his new love Oksana Grigorieva, but a source at the event claims, "Everyone tried to avoid Mel if they could, including Hugh Jackman. ... And even when people had to talk to Mel, they kept it to a minimum. So many people are disgusted with how he's treated [his estranged wife] Robyn."
Why are people feeling bad for Mel's ex-wife? She's getting $450 million and no longer has to put up with his adultery, racism, and Rogaine conditioner. Plus, she doesn't have to clean up after him anymore. You know how hard it is to get dove's blood out of a ceremonial pot? Sounds to me like she's getting a pretty good deal. Besides, with that much money, she can now afford to date the best men money can buy. Of course there is one man whose affections Robyn will never be able to obtain: Tori Spelling's husband. He's already been paid for in full by daddy.
Mel Gibson and his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva Don't count on a reconciliation between Mel Gibson and his estranged wife. Mel brought his girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva to the
X-Men Origins: Wolverine premiere last night in Hollywood. So that's what a
$450 million woman looks like. Hmm, not really what I expected. Unless her vagina can shuffle a deck of cards or make a great dry martini, I feel I speak for the majority here in saying that Mel Gibson is an idiot.
