Recently in Mel B Category

Mel B Halloween Costume

Mel B at the 2009 Bony Pony Ranch Halloween Carnival in L.A. (10/31)

Mel B leaving the Mayfair Hotel in London (9/6)

Trashed last week. Trashed this week. Mel B is making a nice little run at Guy Ritchie for the title of "Celeb Who Most Smells Like Happy Hour" (Guy drunk here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here). Do you think if Guy knocked Mel up that nine months later she'd give birth to a pony keg? That actually happened to my friend's cousin's brother's girlfriend. Craziest thing. An honest to goodness pony keg came out of her vagina. Totally shattered her pelvis.

Mel B at the Mayfair Bar in London (9/1)

Mel B got hammered Monday night/Tuesday morning at the Mayfair Bar in London. Must be nice being able to drink into the wee hours of a Tuesday morning. I normally stop around midnight on weekdays. But hey, I'm a new father. I got responsibilities. Did you know that after 15 or so beers, a newborn crying actually sounds like Mozart? Craziest thing.

Mel B and her husband Stephen Belafonte out and about in New York (8/20)

+ Karina Smirnoff semi upskirt [Drunken Stepfather]

+ 25 reasons to stop using condoms [Holy Taco]
+ A little something for the ladies [Just Jared]
+ Katie Price upskirt [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Emma Roberts in a tiny yellow bikini [moejackson]

+ Blake Lively gets busty for her birthday [Popoholic]
+ Carla Velli is Italian, topless [IDLYITW]
+ Kendra Wilkinson opens up about nipple discharge [Webster's Is My Bitch]
+ Will these two just shut the fuck up already? [Cele|bitchy]

Mel B and her husband Stephen Belafonte in L.A. (8/17)

I'm not quite sure what's going on in this picture but I think Mel B's looking for her car keys. Well the joke's on her, because the valet has them! Wow, how embarrassing. I would just die.

Mel B. bikini pics!

Mel B. in Miami (Aug. 2007)

Mel B has a nice place

Mel B's home in the Hollywood Hills. It's on sale for $2.99 million.

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

Mel B and her daughter Iris Angel at Heathrow Airport last year

Eddie Murphy and Mel B finally settled their baby dispute (Eddie knocked her up in 2007 but refused to admit he was the father of her baby). Under the terms of the agreement, Eddie has to pay $50k a month in child support until their baby, Iris Angel, turns 18. Ouch. From News of the World:

Spice Girl Mel and the Hollywood actor have spent 15 months warring in Los Angeles courts. She has been determined to force him to play a part in his child's life. Sources told News of the World that, under the terms of the deal, both have signed non- disclosure contracts preventing either from discussing the settlement in public.

But one of Scary Spice's pals told us: "Mel is delighted that the case is over as she just wanted what was right for her girl. It was never about money — it was Mel's way of asking Eddie to show consideration for Angel." (Source)

This is all Eddie's fault. If he'd just stuck with the manly-looking tranny hookers that he seems to like so much, he never would have found himself in this predicament in the first place.  *looks at picture of Mel B*  Oh wait, never mind.

Mel B.'s new Ultimo Lingerie ad (sans thighs)

Note to the image editors at Ultimo Lingerie: Photoshop and Jack Daniels don't mix. I don't know if you got the memo but Mel B. actually has thighs -- and not those of a 13-year-old Little League player. Thank you for your time. That is all.

Normal Mel B. (with thighs)

[The Daily Mail, Splash News]

Mel B. bikini pics! (11/7 - Hurghada, Egypt)

Don't ask me why Mel B. and her big ol' fake boobs are in Egypt because I don't know. I mean, who the hell wants to go to Egypt? There's nothing there. I could think of about a million better places to take a vacation. Like Vegas. I love Vegas. Have you seen the Luxor? It's amazing!