Matthew McConaughey

Matthew McConaughey working out in Malibu (2/14)

CAPTION: That's how I pick up chicks, too.

*33 Matthew McConaughey pictures total in the gallery:

Paparazzi photos from Thursday, November 3

Matthew McConaughey leaving a Jiu-Jitsu class in Malibu (pics start here)

Model Julie Henderson at the grand opening party of the Kardashian sisters new Dash boutique in New York (pics start here)

Sandra Bullock leaving her West Village apartment in New York (pics start here)

Juliette Lewis leaving the premiere of 127 Hours in L.A. (pics start here)

Jeremy Piven on the set of Spy Kids 4 in Austin, Texas (pics start here)

Kelly Brook at the launch of the new "LG Optimus One" phone at The Penthouse nightclub London (pics start here)

Katherine Heigl leaving Little Dom's restaurant in Los Feliz (pics start here)

Model Cindy Taylor at the "Rev It Up for the Rally" cancer benefit held at the Ritz Carlton South Beach in Miami (pics start here)

Miley Cyrus leaving Samy's Camera in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Lady Gaga arriving back to her hotel in London (pics start here)

Shannon Elizabeth leaving Red O restaurant in L.A. (pics start here)

Angelina Jolie on the set of her new movie in Budapest, Hungary (pics start here)

*115 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

Matthew McConaughey jogging in Malibu (2/19)

Even though he literally had one wrapped around his head when he was born, Matthew McConaughey admits in this month's Elle that, when he was a kid, he didn't have a clue what was up with the vagina:

ELLE: Did you have any odd misunderstandings about human sexuality as a kid?

MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY: Oh yeah. From checking out Playboy I always thought—jeezum, we still don’t have a better word for it than vagina, do we?—I thought it was behind the pubic hair, and it faced horizontal. You know, east/west, not south. So the first time I got to third base, man, I was hunting for a long time.

ELLE: You could have easily missed third altogether and wound up in a place so forbidden it never even got its own base.

MM: And I didn’t want to go there. I was real spooked about hunting around, so it took about an hour to find.

Matthew thinks there aren't vaginas that go "east/west"? Tell that to the billions of women that live in Asia, you narrow-minded racist.* Regardless, even if he didn't know exactly where the vagina was, it shouldn't have taken him "an hour to find." If true, there are only two reasons why it would have taken him so long to get to the promised land: 1. She was hairier than Robin Williams' forearm, or 2. Her genital region was smoothed over like a Barbie Doll . . . and Clay Aiken.

*So I've heard. Seriously, in fourth grade Billy Hastert told me so.

Matthew McConaughey at Ipanema Beach in Rio de Janeiro Brazil (2/21)

I've tried Matthew. It's impossible.