Note to Mary-Kate Olsen: If you don't want your picture taken by the paparazzi, don't wear an area rug out in public. To think I used to routinely masturbate to this chick. Now I think I'd rather whack off to autopsy photos.
By the way, notice how you never see Mary-Kate and the abominable snowman in the same picture? I'm just saying...
Mary-Kate might have picked up her old hobby of puking again. The first clue was her unusual disturbing horrific appearance at the Golden Globes earlier this month (shown above). Now an anonymous source has revealed that Olsen is still struggling with anorexia, working with her therapist "to keep her in line." Of course her rep denies all this, saying her client isn't losing weight (Note: I did NOT make this quote up):
"The blonde hair she has now makes her look skinny."
See? It wasn't the protruding collar bone, lack of breasts, visible rib cage, sunken eyes, chapped lips, missed periods, and multiple photographs of her shopping at Gap: Kids after all. It was the hair! Just look at the picture above. If you don't let yourself get too distracted by that pesky hair, she's the epitome of health. If she picked up barefoot water-skiing she could be the next Jack LaLanne.
Mary-Kate (without her boyfriend Max Snow) and Ashley Olsen rang in Christmas with a couple of "groupie clones" Sunday night at the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles. According to a source, the Olsen twins' friends "were dressed just like them in oversize sweaters, beanies and extremely high heels." The source adds:
...the followers "hung out just with themselves most of the night" drinking and chain-smoking - until Mary-Kate was spotted with a handsome model. "They chatted for a while and giggled," said our spy, "and Mary-Kate made sure to tell him goodbye in a sexy and flirty way" - which included "doing a strut with her sister and friends in front of his friends." The hunk got into the holiday spirit by turning bright red while the girls at the party were left green with envy.
Obviously the only reason guys are still talking to these skanks is because they're worth more than most countries. Personally, I'd rather flirt with a pack of rabid coyotes. Or even have sex with a bag full of used needles from a San Francisco free clinic. It's considered sex if you "finish" inside of the bag, right? God I hope so, it'd be pretty embarrassing to still be a virgin at 47.
"We've each had this many meals in the past two weeks."
Can you beat my caption?
Winner, decided by me and posted Monday night (12/4), to receive $10 Amazon.com gift code (will be emailed).
Winner (12/4): Congratulations to this week’s winner E-Lobe:
“High five for us for a successful transition from ipecac to laxatives!”
Check back this Friday for new contest.
It's so hard to find a good cleaner in the city that knows how to get rid of stomach acid!
Can you beat my caption?
Winner, decided by me and posted Tuesday night (9/26), to receive $10 Amazon.com gift code (will be emailed).
Winner (9/26): Congratulations to this week's winner Bobbi Sheahan:
Now, which of these bags did I put my sister in?
Check back this Friday for new contest.
The Olsen twins as well as Mischa Barton were denied entry into an exclusive dinner because they forgot to RSVP:
The Olsen twins got a lesson in etiquette from French Vogue on Saturday. The fashion darlings had been invited - but neglected to RSVP - to an exclusive dinner hosted by Mario Testino, honoring Margarita Missoni and the daughters of Anna Wintour and French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld. "There weren't places for them because they hadn't RSVPed," says one guest. "They were refused entry at the door!" Brandon Davis and Mischa Barton were also denied their unauthorized plus-ones.
I'm a little confused by this story. Since when did Mary-Kate and Ashley start eating solid foods? The Olsen twins being pissed about being denied dinner is like me showing up to the Tampax factory and being angry that they won't give me a tour. Not really a huge loss on my end.
