Martha Stewart


Blake Lively at the premiere of Mr. Turner at the Cannes Film Festival in May

If you hadn't heard, Blake Lively is trying to become Gwyneth Paltrow with tits by launching her own version of Goop, Preserve. Count Martha Stewart as among those unimpressed. She told Huffington Post:
"[Blake's] a baker and a homemaker and now she's starting her own blog [Preserve] ... I haven't seen it yet ... Let her try. I don't mean that facetiously! I mean, it's stupid, she could be an actress! Why would you want to be me if you could be an actress? I just did a movie yesterday, though -- I can't even tell you about it -- but I want to be Blake Lively."
Martha has a point. No one cares about your feelings on organic versus free trade Madagascan vanilla when you have tits. They just care about your tits. Which you can express wonderfully in various roles on the big screen. Hey, you know who should start a lifestyle blog? Tara Reid. "This pima cotton sweater is my total fave for passing out on nightclub toilets!"

*30 Blake Lively pictures total in the gallery:

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Martha Stewart at the 4th Annual DogCatemy Gala in New York (11/5)

First Rachael Ray and now Sarah Palin. Martha Stewart is looking to crack some skulls. From Radar:
The feud between Martha Stewart and Sarah Palin has come to a boil with Sarah's dad slamming the Domestic Diva. Martha started it when she recently called Palin "dangerous"and then added, "Anyone like that in government is a real problem."

That remark was met with silence for days until Sarah's dad, accompanying his daughter on her book tour, got his chance to speak.

Asked in Florida what he thought of Martha's comments, Chuck Heath, 71, responded: "Martha Stewart? She's the dangerous one. She rubbed elbows with all the convicts in prison."
Say what you will about Sarah Palin*, but there's no arguing that she's a God-fearing individual. Martha Stewart, on the other hand, apparently has never been to church. Because if she had, she certainly would've learned one of Jesus' most profound teachings: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone If a chick is hotter than you, keep your damn mouth shut. I guess we'll have to settle this feud the ol' fashioned way: wrestling match! In oil. Without clothes. Or Martha.
 
*she's dumb incompetent the hottest looking chick in government since J. Edgar Hoover!

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Martha Stewart at the Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami (11/2008)

Martha Stewart isn't exactly a fan of Rachael Ray. On Nightline last night, Stewart blasted the Food Network star, calling her a stupid fat whore. OK, not really. But she was a bitch. Via Us Weekly:
"Well, to me, she professed that she could -- cannot bake," Stewart says of Ray in the interview, [which aired Thursday]. "She -- just did a new cookbook which is just a re-edit of a lot of her old recipes. She -- and that's not good enough for me."

When it comes to writing a book, Stewart says she want to publish something that "is a unique and lasting thing. Something that will really fulfill a need in someone's library." Ray, she says, "is different."

Stewart says Ray is "more of an entertainer ... with her bubbly personality, than she is a teacher, like me. That's not what she's professing to be."
If Martha Stewart really wants to write a book that will draw on her life experiences, she should come out with a cookbook titled: "100 Dishes You Can Bake in Your Toilet -- A Prisoner's Guide to Healthy Living." She already has a built-in 'captive' audience that would almost certainly propel her book to the top of the bestseller list. Of course if Rachael Ray wants to write a book that I'd buy, it'll have to be a picture book titled: "Rachael Ray's Guide to Swallowing an Entire Kielbasa Sausage." Seriously, have you seen that chick's mouth? If it was any bigger, you could throw a ball in it to win a prize.

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Martha Stewart Halloween Costume

Martha Stewart at the New York Restoration Project Benefit Gala 'Hulaween' (10/31)

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