Marko Jaric

Adriana Lima launching the new "Noir" fragrance at Victoria's Secret in New York (5/9)

Adriana Lima's rep announced yesterday that the supermodel is pregnant. Lima and her husband, NBA player Marko Jaric, have been married since Valentine's Day of this year. Lima's rep said:

"Adriana and Marko are overjoyed that they are expecting their first child together and are excited to share the happy news and start their family together."

In 2006, Adriana revealed to GQ that she was still a virgin ("Sex is for after marriage. They [men] have to respect that this is my choice. If there's no respect, that means they don't want me."). According to the Daily News, she's three months pregnant. You do the math on that and she probably got pregnant the first time she ever had sex. In other words, her husband's a dumbass. You better believe if that was me in his position, I would have tricked her virgin ass into doing something sexy. "Adriana, I think we should practice safe sex. Have you heard of the swallow method? No? Great, let's get started."

Adriana Lima marries boyfriend Marko Jaric

Adriana Lima snuck off on Valentine's Day and got married to her stupid boyfriend, NBA player Marko Jaric. Wow, Valentine's Day. How original. From People:

Adriana Lima, a Brazilian supermodel and a Victoria's Secret Angel, eloped with NBA star Marko Jaric on Feb. 14 in Jackson Hole, Wyo., in a small, private civil ceremony, PEOPLE confirms exclusively.

"We are so excited about our future together," says Lima. "And we are really looking forward to a big romantic wedding this summer with all of our friends and family." (Source)

Just hilarious Adriana. Ohhh, let's have a secret wedding and invite nobody. Well the joke's on you bitch: guess who's not getting the fancy bread machine she registered for. It has three speeds, too. THREE FUCKING SPEEDS! And it makes a pretty killer cinnamon bun dough . . . I might have opened it.