Recently in Mariah Carey Category

Mariah Carey performing on the Today show in New York (10/2)

I simply refuse to believe this about my dear Mariah Carey, but apparently she's acting like a diva on the publicity tour for her new album Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel. Lies! All lies! From MSNBC:

“Her security is doing walk-throughs of her performance locations prior to her appearances, as if she’s the president or something,” said one person who was present at one such sweep.

It's even more intense on the day of a Carey performance, says the source.  “She’ll show up with more than a dozen people on her team, and she’s been asking that the people who actually work there are removed from the floor and only her staffers be present,” said the source, who adds that the demand is not always met.

The level of high maintenance Carey is displaying while promoting both “Imperfect Angel” and her new film, “Precious”, didn’t surprise one person, who has worked with Carey in the past.

“We were paying for her travel, her expenses, and yet she still wanted to be compensated nearly six figures just for hair and makeup,” said the source.

Mariah doesn't need to be protected from ravenous fans -- she needs to be protected from delicious cheesecake (if she really wants to hire a group of people to safeguard her health, she should stop adding bodyguards to her payroll and start employing nutritionists). Of course the biggest threat to Mariah's career isn't from a fan -- it's from her husband's penis. Can you imagine how crazy she would get if she was pregnant. Think Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, but with way more butterflies.

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon at the premier of Precious at Alice Tully Hall in New York (10/3)

+ Hayden Panettiere kissing a girl [Drunken Stepfather]

+ The diary of David Letterman's less-attractive intern revealed! [Holy Taco]
+ Camilla Belle is gorgeous [Just Jared]
+ Mischa Barton is cold *wink wink* [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Beyonce breaks her silence about Kanye [PopEater]

+ Katy Perry showing off her fine cleavage [Popoholic]
+ More Katrina Bowden bikini pics [moejackson]
+ This isn't helping the Tom Cruise gay rumors [Webster's Is My Bitch]
+ Guy Ritchie calls Madonna retarded [Cele|bitchy]

LIST OF THE DAY: 25 Great Bumper Stickers

Mariah Carey at a press conference for her film Precious at the Toronto International Film Festival (9/13)

Like Rihanna in New York yesterday, Mariah Carey showed off her nipple Sunday at the Toronto International Film Festival. Also like Rihanna, Mariah hasn't been beaten up in six months. I'd say that's pretty good. Especially for Rihanna. On a side note, are domestic violence jokes ever not funny?

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics of Mariah Carey's nipple, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

Mariah Carey at the premier of Precious at the Cannes Film Festival (5/15)

I should get into this whole "pop icon" thing. It seems like it pays really well. From the New York Post:

Mariah Carey is celebrating Memorial Day with hubby Nick Cannon in Turkey -- and getting paid handsomely for it. The songbird, whose new album, "Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel," will be released later this year, is getting $1.5 million to perform at the opening of "Europe's most expensive hotel," the Marden Palace Hotel in Antalya. Tom Jones is getting paid the same amount to croon his tunes. Also flown in for the gala are the Cannes crew: Sharon Stone, Richard Gere, Seal and Heidi Klum and Paris Hilton.

I guarantee that even though Mariah got paid a ridiculous amount of money to perform for a single evening, she was absolutely fuming that Tom Jones got paid the same amount. It is easy to see why the organizers pushed for the identical payday: both have over-processed hair, overtly large bulges in their undergarments, and an affinity for feminine-looking mates. That's right Nick Cannon. I just called you out. What are you gonna do, pull my hair?

Mariah Carey at LAX (5/20)

Mariah Carey showed off a bit more than she intended Wednesday at LAX. When will celebs learn that tight black tops + no bra + cameras flashing = exposed nipples. It's like black magic what the paparazzi do with their cameras. To be fair, some celebs have learned. For example, Michael Moore won't step a foot out in public without a bra on anymore. Which leads to the obvious questions facing bloggers such as myself: when a man's with D-cup breasts takes off his shirt, do you have to censor the photos?

NOTE: To see the uncensored pics, click the headline pic (or thumbnails) and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

Mariah Carey at the Cannes Film Festival in Cannes, France (5/15)

One time when I was a kid, I stuck a butter knife into an outlet and got zapped. Did I ever do it again? No, I learned my lesson. Well I guess Mariah Carey didn't learn that same lesson with the laughably-bad Glitter in 2001. She came back for more -- she's at the Cannes Film Festival right now promoting her new film Precious. As bad as she was in Glitter, Mariah's performance in Precious is actually generating buzz across Cannes. There's already talk that she's a shoe-in for the "Dude, look at that crazy chick's tits" award.

NOTE: Mariah's tits are so large and intimidating that half of Cannes has already surrendered to them.

Mariah Carey has a nice house

Mariah Carey's (and Nick Cannon's) new home in Bel Air

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon leaving Mr. Chow restaurant in Beverly Hills (2/19)

"All the right reasons" being she wants to make sure she has a girl and she doesn't want to get fat. Awww, what a heartwarming tale of self-sacrifice. From the Chicago Sun Times:

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon really want to have a child together, but it's sounding more and more like adoption will be the preferred route to parenthood for them. Carey is said to be worried about massive weight gain if she got pregnant, plus she wants to have a child ASAP. The singer also is definite about wanting a little girl -- another reason for the desire to adopt. (Source)

So, Mariah wants a child without actually making one? Sounds like Nick's getting the raw end of this deal. Obviously adopted children these days are becoming the "must have" accessory in Hollywood,* but since when is it done to accommodate a person's time frame, narcissism, and gender preference? If Mariah is really concerned about rescuing a child from a life of hardship and pain, she doesn't need to adopt -- she needs to have her uterus removed.
 
*See: David Banda (Madonna), Maddox Jolie-Pitt (Brangelina), and Khloe Kardashian (Right?)

Nick Cannon actually got a job

Now he doesn't have to ask Mariah for a raise in his allowance! From AP:

America's got Nick Cannon as the new host of "America's Got Talent." The musician, comedian, actor and producer will preside over the NBC talent competition series when it returns for a fourth season this summer, the network announced Monday.

This variety show is the first of "multiple projects we are looking to do with Nick at NBC," said network chief Ben Silverman. Cannon takes over "America's Got Talent" from Jerry Springer, who announced his departure last week. (Source)

Mariah will never allow Nick to take this job. It might require him to stay out later than 8 PM on school nights. You just know Nick's got to be desperate for any type of work at this point -- especially if he's willing to take Jerry Springer's sloppy seconds. Either that or he's looking for a way out of the house. Giving your wife manicures and pedicures can get tiring after a month or two. Something else that he's probably getting tired of: the kiddie leash he always has to wear. On the bright side, at least Mariah sprung for the 20-footer. That's a lot of independence.

Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey in Aspen (12/24)

Do you think Mariah Carey realizes Nick Cannon is actually her husband and not just an assistant she's having an affair with? I say no. From the National Enquirer:

When Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon topped by the AXE Fix Club on Jan. 17, Nick had to ask permission to say hello to his good friend, DJ Steve Aoki, up in the DJ booth! (Print Edition - 2/2)

Sounds like Nick's more whipped than Jesus.* For me to be as infatuated with a woman as apparently Nick is with Mariah, she'd have to posses three distinct qualities: 1. Have a soft serve ice cream dispenser mounted on her forehead, 2. Poop lottery tickets, and 3. Be a mute. Of course we all know the real reason why Nick would never even think of leaving Mariah: her looks her money she's stronger than he is.  

*Too soon?