Mariah Carey

Mariah Carey at the Palm Springs International Film Festival Awards Gala (1/5)

"Waiter, can you bring me another glass of Mariah Carey?" Somehow I don't see that catching on. From the New York Daily News:

After her tipsy speech at an awards ceremony a week ago, the world knows Mariah Carey likes to drink Champagne. Now she's going to sell it. In a Twitter post Friday, the singer announced she's launching a brand of bubbly called Angel Champagne - a rosé.

She also made a joke about her accepting-while-intoxicated appearance at the Palm Springs International Film Festival Awards gala.

"Didn't realize they put the champagne on the tables, So we WOULDN'T drink it! LoL," she wrote.

After she stumbled through her awards speech, Carey explained away her behavior by saying she had a few too many "splashes."

Why stop with champagne? While she's at it, Mariah should come out with her own line of a few other things she's addicted to -- like cheesecakes and weak men. Or what about "Mariah's Ol' Fashioned Country Bacon." That has a nice ring to it. Regardless, as any recovering alcoholic will tell you, the first step to overcoming your addiction is to admit you have a problem. The second step? Not building your own distillery.

Mariah Carey at the Golden Globes last night at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills

And I do mean bountiful. Interestingly, just a few minutes after this picture was taken of Mariah, Joe Francis gave her a free t-shirt. True story.

In The Gallery: Mariah Carey and her assistant Nick Cannon, Mad Men's Christina Boobs (that's her name, right?), and Halle Berry

Nick Cannon leaving the Louis Vuitton boutique in Beverly Hills (12/19)

You know how the big joke in Hollywood is that Nick Cannon is basically just Mariah Carey's assistant. Well it's true. From Janet Charlton's Hollywood:

Nick Cannon isn’t often let out of the house alone, so it figures that he’s using the time to shop for Christmas gifts for his wife Mariah Carey. He browsed around Louis Vuitton in Beverly Hills with a male friend but he was always on the phone to you-know-who. He was asking a lot of questions to make sure he selected all the RIGHT things.

Poor Nick. There's got to be a more dignified way to make a living in Hollywood than becoming a glorified assistant to Mariah Carey -- like picking up dog shit. Even worse for him is the fact that most assistants in Tinseltown don't have to sleep with their bosses . . . unless they want a role in a movie. Hopefully Nick had the good sense to pick out the perfect present for Mariah this Christmas: a treadmill.

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon at the TeenNick HALO Awards screening in Washington, D.C. (12/9)

I know Mariah's gained a little weight, but she's not that fat.

Mariah Carey arriving to the Dorchester Hotel in London (11/20)

+ I love sexy stories like this [Wonderwall]

+ Emma Watson bikini pics from her vacation to Jamaica [The Superficial]
+ Old timey classy hot celebrities. Good stuff. [IDLYITW]
+ Why does Jennifer Aniston look homeless? [Just Jared]
+ Keeley Hazell shows off her awesome boobs (NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Brad Pitt is a shitty architect. Hah! [PopEater]
+ Rachel Bilson taunts us with her sexiness [Popoholic]
+ Carmen Electra's sex tape is not really a sex tape [Hollywood Tuna]
+ I don't post enough Salma Hayek pictures [moejackson]

+ The Sex Offender Shuffle! Hilarious [College Humor]
+ Rihanna is fat [The Blemish]
+ A little something for the ladies [Dlisted]
+ Good Morning America cancels Chris Brown's appearance [Cele|bitchy]

Mariah out and about in London (11/19)

England's GMTV issued a challenge to Mariah Carey last week to act as batshit crazy as possible before and after her appearance on the morning show. And Mariah didn't disappoint. Host Kate Garraway told the Daily Mail:

"We had Mariah Carey in the GMTV studios last week, where she was pre-recording an interview with Lorraine Kelly. I've heard a lot of rumours about her being a diva over the years and guess what? It turns out it's all true!

"While Mariah was very nice, the amount of people she had in her entourage was hilarious. They outnumbered the entire GMTV crew! She had two people to lower her on to the GMTV sofa, in case her dress got crushed, one person to walk in front of her backwards at all times in case she fell over and several people behind the camera making sure she was going to be filmed from the right angle!

"Have you ever heard anything like it? Oh, and she brought her own toilet roll as well."

Can you really blame Mariah for bringing her own toilet paper? Most bathroom stalls don't hold the six rolls it takes to wipe her ever-expanding ass. And considering Mariah's love of wasting money (she has a separate closet at her Manhattan triplex for her 1000 pairs of shoes), another reason she supplies her own TP is because she likes the exclusivity of using her own special brand -- you know, the brand that has a picture of Independence Hall on one side and Benjamin Franklin on the other.

Mariah Carey arriving to her hotel in London (11/11)

With Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan's antics usually dominating the headlines, I think we sometimes forget how batshit crazy Mariah Carey. Thankfully, the Daily Mail is here to remind us:

As one of the world's biggest stars, Mariah Carey doesn't know the meaning of the word No. But it appears Britain's health and safety officials are about to teach her. They have flatly turned down her demands to be surrounded by 20 white kittens and 100 white doves as she turns on a shopping centre's Christmas lights.

The American singer had issued a string of extravagant requirements in return for her appearance at the Westfield complex in West London. The list - known in showbusiness circles as a 'rider' - included being driven by Rolls Royce along a pink carpet right to the pink podium where she is to wave a wand to turn on the lights.

A source revealed the model of car had to be changed six times before she was finally happy. Miss Carey, 39, wants confetti shaped like butterflies, her favourite insect, to shower over her at the end. She has also requested an entourage of 15 along with about 80 security guards.

You know what would be cool? If -- instead of Mariah being granted all these crazy requests -- someone just knocked her crazy ass out. "I'm sorry that we weren't able to get 100 white doves for your appearance Mariah. But the good news is that we were able to get Manny Pacquiao to punch you in the fucking jaw."

Mariah Carey leaving her hotel in London (11/13)

+ Ashley Greene really cleans up well [Hollywood Tuna]

+ WOW -- there's really no other way to put this [The Superficial]
+ Who is the biggest celebrity on the internet? [Wonderwall]
+ Cindy Crawford's cellulite [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Jessica Simpson looks like hell [OK! Magazine]

+ I'm glad someone finally said it. She looks like a meth addict. [IDLYITW]
+ Boobies! (NSFW) [College Humor]
+ Twilight's Christian Serratos looking drop-dead sexy [Popoholic]
+ This might be the worst idea for a movie ever [A Socialite's Life]

+ Oh this is just gross [Dlisted]
+ I never tire of girls making out [Double Viking]
+ Chick fight! Chick fight! With video! [Busted Coverage]
+ Show off crashes his Ferrari [Attuworld]

Mariah Carey leaving a nightclub in London (11/16)

Damn, I've never seen Mariah so drunk and Nick so happy. Someone that night didn't have to ask permission to have sex! That was wrong. I shouldn't be joking about having sex with a passed-out woman. It's rarely funny.

Mariah Carey outside her hotel in London (11/11)

I call this game: "Spot the guy who wants to fuck Mariah Carey." It's sorta like the street version of Where's Waldo?. Ready, go!