Mariah Carey


Mariah Carey's new album cover

Here's the cover of Mariah Carey's new album #1 to Infinity. I'm not gonna claim that Mariah doesn't actually look like that, but the guy that does all the photoshop work for Mariah's label just bought an island in the Caribbean. You can say work has been extremely lucrative lately.

*15 Mariah Carey pictures total in the gallery:

  • Mariah Carey Album Cover Photoshop 1
  • Mariah Carey Album Cover Photoshop 2
  • Mariah Carey Album Cover Photoshop 3
  • Mariah Carey Album Cover Photoshop 4
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Mariah Carey in St. Barts (3/28)

Mariah Carey may be doing Bret Ratner. Mariah and the tremendously-overrated director -- who apparently likes large breasts -- were seen walking arm in arm while shopping on Saturday. Amazingly, Mariah has done the impossible. She actually managed to find someone more unlikable than Nick Canon. I guess that British dude who loves chopping westerners' heads off for ISIS was already taken.

*30 Mariah Carey pictures total in the gallery:

  • Mariah Carey Big Boobs 1
  • Mariah Carey Big Boobs 2
  • Mariah Carey Big Boobs 3
  • Mariah Carey Big Boobs 4
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  • Mariah Carey Big Boobs 1
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Mariah Carey at the Jamaica Jazz & Blues Festival in Trelawny, Jamaica (1/30)

Everyone says Mariah Carey was obviously lip-syncing at the Jamaica Jazz & Blues Festival on Friday, but I think they have it all wrong. I think she was just taking her performance to a whole new level by throwing her voice like a ventriloquist. Because she's that good. Hope you're taking notes, Taylor Swift.


Mariah Carey at the premiere of Hercules in Hollywood (7/24)

"I don't give a fuck if I'm a Size 12! Show me this dress in a Size 4 or I'll get your ass fired!" - Mariah Carey, recently

*30 Mariah Carey pictures total in the gallery:

  • Mariah Carey Fat Bottomed Girl 1
  • Mariah Carey Fat Bottomed Girl 2
  • Mariah Carey Fat Bottomed Girl 3
  • Mariah Carey Fat Bottomed Girl 4
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  • Mariah Carey Fat Bottomed Girl 1
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  • Mariah Carey Fat Bottomed Girl 15

Paparazzi photos from Wednesday, June 11

Mariah Carey announces her new Go N'Syde bottle "Butterfly" during a press conference at the St. Regis New York (pics start here)

Eva Longoria at a gas station in L.A. (pics start here)

Michelle Rodriguez leaving the Balenciaga boutique in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Socialite Stephanie Dorrance in Miami (pics start here)

Vanessa Hudgens at a gas station in Studio City (pics start here)

Kate Mara and her boyfriend Max Minghella out and about in New York (pics start here)

Rachel Hunter walking her dog at Runyon Canyon in Hollywood (pics start here)

Jason Statham and Rosie Huntington-Whitely leaving Dominick's in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Damian Lewis filming the new BBC mini-series Wolf Hall in Wiltshire, England (pics start here)

Camila Alves leaving Fred Segal in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Katharine McPhee leaving Craig's restaurant in West Hollywood (pics start here)

Johnny Depp filming Black Mass in Boston (pics start here)

*116 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Mariah Carey Breasts Show 1
  • Mariah Carey Breasts Show 2
  • Mariah Carey Breasts Show 3
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Mariah Carey at the 2014 Fresh Air Fund Gala at Chelsea Piers (5/29)

Since 1877, The non-profit Fresh Air Fund has provided free summer experiences in the country to more than 1.8 million New York City children from low-income communities. And last night they had their annual fundraising gala in New York. Mariah Carey's big ol' cartoon titties, folks. For the children.

*36 Mariah Carey tig ol' bitties pictures total in the gallery:

  • Mariah Carey Huge Rack 1
  • Mariah Carey Huge Rack 2
  • Mariah Carey Huge Rack 3
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  • Mariah Carey Huge Rack 1
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Nick Cannon is getting it on the reg

Thjanks to Nick Cannon, we now know way too much about his and Mariah Carey's sex life. Gee, thanks. From Us Weekly:
TMI! Nick Cannon got extra personal while sharing the secret to his successful marriage with Mariah Carey. The 33-year-old America's Got Talent host recently chatted with Us Weekly about his recent family vacation -- and how he and Carey don't let their 2-year-old twins cramp their love life! How do the spouses of five years keep the flame alive in their marriage?

"Lots of sex," Cannon candidly told Us at the Variety Breakthrough Awards in Las Vegas on Thursday, Jan. 9.
Well, to each his own, as the Good Book says. Now, does Mariah let Nick watch and fap? Or does he have to leave the house when she's having sex? Oh wait, Nick is claiming that HE'S the one having sex with HER? Oh . . . weird. It's just strange for me to imagine that this charade is still going on after all these years, but then again, Nick is an excellent and committed butler (he even got his boss' name tattooed on him, which severely limits his future employment within the industry). Oh, and I'm sure Nick is a great nanny to the Turkey Baster Twins, so it's pretty much a win win for all sides. And here I thought Nick's career was over way back in 2002 with that insult to black colleges of a movie, Little Drummer Boy.

*20 Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey pictures total in the gallery:

  • Mariah Carey Sex Life 1
  • Mariah Carey Sex Life 2
  • Mariah Carey Sex Life 3
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Mariah Carey demeaning her assistant in Aspen (12/20)

Gotta love that oil money. From the Daily Mail:
Mariah Carey is rumoured to have been paid [$1.5million] to perform at a private celebration in London for the son of the Sultan of Brunei at the five-star Dorchester Hotel. She is understood to have performed around three hits, including Always Be My Baby, and lead a chorus of Auld Lang Syne, much to the delight of the crowd. Miss Carey had been invited to appear by Prince Azim, the billionaire 31-year-old playboy son of the Sultan of Brunei. The pair have been friends for a number of years.

The singer, her husband and their two children, along with members of her entourage, were flown from the US by private jet, before the family was put up in the [$8,000]-a-night Harlequin Suite at the prestigious hotel, which is owned by the Brunei Investment Agency.

Miss Carey, 43, performed alongside veteran star Diana Ross at the New Year's Eve event, where other guests included model Jerry Hall and actresses Sophia Loren and Faye Dunaway.
What the hell is this? Mariah accepted cash money to perform for the Sultan of a Country that doesn't have outrageous record of Human Rights violations? Come on, in the past Mariah's performed for such notables as the humorless ex-General of the Libyan People's of Gobbledygook Muammar Gaddafi, and the notoriously high-strung Jose Eduardo Dos Santos, President for Life of Angola -- internationally renown for using machetes to end debates. It looks like someone is feeling a little bit high and mighty all of a sudden, but we'll see how long that lasts. I don't know much about foreign relations, but I do know that the one thing that sociopathic leaders of rogue nations love more than crushing the will of the people under boot is rubbing elbows with out-of-touch American celebrities, so look for Sean Penn, J. Lo, and Hilary Swank to try to cash in on the vacuum that her royal highness Mariah is leaving open. Hell, even dictators need to be entertained -- ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!

*12 Mariah Carey pictures total in the gallery:

  • Mariah Carey New Year Payday 1
  • Mariah Carey New Year Payday 2
  • Mariah Carey New Year Payday 3
  • Mariah Carey New Year Payday 4
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Mariah Carey shopping in Aspen (12/24)

The secret album Beyonce released earlier this month has been a huge success, and now Mariah Carey wants a piece of the action. Although it's not really a secret if you talk about it. A "music insider" told the New York Daily News:
"Mariah has been telling everyone how she wants to drop a surprise album. It is hilarious because nothing Mariah (above) does is low-key. Can you imagine her filming a video without anyone knowing? Or Mariah sneaking into a recording studio in a hoodie in the dark?"
Awkward, the old lady thinks she still has enough heat to pull a secret album off. I'm sorry, but Mariah needs to dance for her dinner because, pardon my English, she ain't no Beyonce. I admit that Mrs. Z is big enough to score double platinum by scratching a release date into the door of a bathroom stall in a Congolese Walmart, but Mariah's fans need old school press releases so they can at the very least have something to line their birdcages with at the old folks home. Hopefully someone who Mariah respects will talk some sense into her before she humiliates herself . . . and by "hopefully" I mean "hopefully not." Let's get this train wreck started!

*10 Mariah Carey pictures total in the gallery:

  • Mariah Carey Secret Album 1
  • Mariah Carey Secret Album 2
  • Mariah Carey Secret Album 3
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  • Mariah Carey Secret Album 10

Mariah Carey in a bikini

Here's Mariah Carey in a bikini in Aspen on Saturday night. How cold was it? Right around 5 degrees. It was so cold that Nick Cannon's testicles froze. But don't worry -- Mariah keeps them in a mason jar so she was able to just pop them into the microwave to thaw them out.

*5 Mariah Carey bikini pictures total in the gallery:

  • Mariah Carey Red Aspen Bikini 1
  • Mariah Carey Red Aspen Bikini 2
  • Mariah Carey Red Aspen Bikini 3
  • Mariah Carey Red Aspen Bikini 4
  • Mariah Carey Red Aspen Bikini 5

Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: