Archive: Marc Anthony

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony in Milan, Italy (7/1)

Marc Anthony was in full pimp mode yesterday at a press conference in Milan, Italy. You know I’d heard the stories about men walking around with that third button undone but I’d always chalked it up to urban legend. Well you know how the old saying goes: if you’ve got the chest of a high school freshman, flaunt it.

NOTE: I’m a little surprised Marc’s not wielding a stick or a club to fend off the ladies. You can’t be too careful.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony exiting a private jet in Zaventem, Belgium (6/18)

Is it just me or is climbing down steep stairs in four-inch platform heels carrying a newborn baby kinda unsafe? I mean, she’s not even looking down. One little misstep and that poor baby is flying onto the concrete, it’s head cracking open like a Cadbury Creme Egg in the hands of a ten-year-old sugar addict on Easter morning.* I guess she’s being a little cocky because she has two of ‘em. Understandable.

*I took a creative writing class in college

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Jennifer Lopez pregnant?

I hope for J-Lo’s sake her kid doesn’t inherit that ass or she’ll have to deliver it via c-section! From today’s New York Post:

Jenny from the Block wants to share the good news she’s expecting - right here in her hometown. Bronx native Jennifer Lopez, 38, plans to “announce that she and (husband) Marc Anthony are expecting their first child on Saturday night at her Madison Square Garden concert,” said an insider. A spy at her concert in Connecticut Wednesday night told us, “a fan blew the side of her top all the way up for a moment, and a definitive baby bump was there. She was very quick to push down her top. Then she talked about how this year is full of firsts for her . . . and every so often her dress would fly up and you would see her belly.” (Source)

I learned from The History Channel that thousands of years ago–with an ass like that–J.Lo certainly would have been the most popular person in all of ancient Greece . . . if she had been a man. Which brings up an interesting (if not disturbing) question: If your girlfriend/wife/kid you baby-sat for had an ass like J.Lo’s, would they EVER get pregnant? Of course not!

UPDATE: Yes that was an anal joke–now quit sending me emails . . . I mean you Grandma. That’s just gross.

As of July 26, 2007 at 8:50 AM PST: Still huge

More pics of Jennifer and her husband Marc Anthony promoting their new film El Cantante after the jump…

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Is Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s marriage in trouble? According to insiders close to the couple, the two have hit a “rough patch” recently. Fights over New Year’s and Super Bowl weekend was just the start. The two really got into it at an album listening party a few months ago. According to one of the insider:

Lopez stood up and talked about her upcoming album and said, “This is my dream and Marc and I worked so hard on this album . . . Marc, would you like to say something?” - to which Anthony coldly said, “No,” and looked away. One of the issues is that Lopez is said to be putting off pregnancy - he has four kids with two other women - and Anthony is very interested in Scientology. (Source)

It was bad enough that this dude married J Lo, but to piss off that high-maintenance powderkeg is just plain foolish. When my friend Jack [Daniels] made me fall into the Lion’s exhibit at the zoo, you didn’t see me taunting the lions … No–quite the opposite actually. I took on that pride of lions and when the dust finally cleared you know who know had a fancy lion rug for his apartment. OK, I guess that’s a bad example. Not everyone is blessed with my combination of strength, wit, and taekwondo skills … Oops, I got a little sidetracked there. The point I’m trying to make is Marc Anthony is really funny looking–like an angry little rat. Tee he

Following in the footsteps of such stars as Diana Ross and Prince, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony might make a cameo on mega-hit show American Idol. Access Hollywood is reporting a tentative appearance is scheduled for April 11. According to a source, it was J-Lo and Marc that approached American Idol about the appearance:

“They are currently in talks with the show’s executive producer, Nigel Lythgoe. Getting them on the show would be a huge deal - they’d definitely be the big surprise of the season. Prince was such a sensational guest last season, they knew they’d have to step it up for Season 6!” (Source)

J-Lo butting heads with Simon on American Idol? Ummm, yes please! You know how this would play out. Simon would make some snide remark to J-Lo–probably about her huge ass needing its own dressing room. J Lo would fire back with one of her patented “OH NO YOU DI’INT!” finger snaps. And then it would be on folks. Like Godzilla v. Mothra with more hair pulling and spitting. I’m pretty sure half of Los Angeles would be destroyed in the battle.

Judging by Jennifer Lopez’s recent spending habits, she might be pregnant. The high-maintenance singer reportedly budgeted $180,000 to create a lavish nursery in her Los Angeles home. Mike Walker of the National Enquirer has more:

[Lopez] spent a fat chunk of that amount on hand-painted baby furniture, luxury linens and bedding for a custom-made crib, fixtures, etc., from a major baby boutique. Hey, maybe J.Lo’s just putting herself in the right mood for baby making through positive thinking, but…stay tuned.

J-Lo hasn’t even popped out her baby and I already hate it. How could I not? She’s a bitch and her husband looks like Master Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. So what I’m trying to say is that in nine months you could tell me that J-Lo gave birth to an angry rat and I would totally believe you.