Madonna heading to a pilates class in West Hollywood
news: Now we can all look like Madonna! She's releasing her own skincare line in Japan. First Fukushima, and now this? Haven't they suffered enough? Via Contact Music
Pop superstar Madonna has expanded her business empire by launching a skincare range. The Material Girl star teamed up with Japanese cosmetics company Mtg to create MDNA Skin, which is described as an "innovative and revolutionary skin care brand created by Madonna". The collection, which includes a face mask and skin serum, launches in Japan this week.
Of course Madonna should be the face of a line of beauty products, I can't tell you how many times the past few years that a senior citizen has told me that they wished they looked like a character straight out of a Tim Burton opium-induced fever dream. Actually, I can: NO ONE has ever wanted a face like that. EVER. No woman in her right mind has ever said: "Hey, make me look like a more bitchy Hilary Clinton." Well, Barbra Streisand might have, but that's only because her new face came with Bill's dick in the mouth hole. What, 20-year-old political references are too high brow for you?
*15 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:
Madonna and her son David Banda at the 56th Annual Grammy Awards at the Staples Center in L.A.
Everyone made a big deal about Madonna referring to her white son Rocco as "disnigga
" last week on Instagram, so to prove that she's definitely not a racist, Madonna trotted out her black son David for the cameras at last nights Grammys. "Remember David, if any of the photographers are mean to you, cast one of those Africany potion curse things on them . . . you can do those, right?" Racist bitch
*26 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi pictures from Tuesday, November 19
arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here
leaving her hotel in New York (pics start here
at the L.A. premiere of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
at the Nokia Theatre in Downtown L.A. (pics start here
Reality star Kimber James
filming her new show in Beverly Hills (pics start here
leaving his apartment in New York (pics start here
filming the Untitled Cameron Crowe movie in Oahu, Hawaii (pics start here
shopping at the Colette store in Paris (pics start here
outside The Daily Show
studios in New York (pics start here
Reality stars Josh Altman
and Heather Bilyeu
(Million Dollar Listing
) leaving Porta Via restaurant in Beverly Hills (pics start here
on the set of The Boy Next Door
in L.A. (pics start here
leaving the "Fashion For Kids" benefit in Prague, Czech Republic (pics start here
arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here
*112 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
Madonna at Cibel et Nature in Villefranche, France
Madonna debuted her new gold grill over the weekend while rocking out to the new One Direction
album (probably) and playing paintball in France (she shot her entourage and a few of the paparazzi's cars, too). A 54-year-old mother of four. Gold grill. Yup. After she was done for the day, Madonna drank an entire bottle of sizzurp, complained about how whitey was keeping her down (even though she has millions in the bank), and . . . what else do only black rappers do? *25 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:
Madonna on her way to the Kabbalah Center in New York
Even though guns and gun violence are a pretty touchy subject right now in the United States, Madonna wore a sweatshirt with an AK-47 on it Sunday in New York. That's right, AN ASSAULT RIFLE! . . . *birds chirping* . . . try again, old lady. The last time you did something even remotely shocking, you were still having your period . . . so about 20 years ago.*20 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:
Madonna at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas
Madonna attended last night's Billboard Music Awards, and, um, wow, everyone wave goodbye to my erection. Bye erection. I'll see you again tomorrow morning.*20 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:
Madonna in Malawi last week
Madonna no doubt thinks she's much smarter than she actually is, as evidenced by the letter she wrote Malawi President Joyce Banda. Yes, Madonna has become so delusional she's writing letters to heads of states now. Via the New York Daily News
"Dear Joyce," the scrawled, nearly illegible note begins on the "Vogue" singer's own monogrammed stationery.
If addressing a country's president by first name is not informal enough, Madonna congratulates the president, the nation's first female leader, on her "new position" -- as if the barrier-breaking politician has earned a promotion at an insurance company. Forbes named the president no. 71 on its list of most powerful woman in the world, and named her the most powerful woman in Africa.
The letter's mistakes get "Deeper and Deeper" for the 54-year-old philanthropic pop goddess. She misspells the word responsibility as "responsability" and writes in a messy hand with little order on the page.
Pretty stupid, isn't she? It's funny, the ol' bag spends millions of pounds crafting an image of being a member of English high society, but it took just one poorly-written letter to remind the world that Madonna is really just a piece of white trash from Bay City, Michigan who got lucky in the late '70s. It just goes to show that America has really terrible taste in music. But hey, I'm not implying that President Banda deserves respect not earned -- she is leading a country that sells its children to moral degenerates, after all . . . though she could really build a bridge to respect by arresting Madge during her next visit for practicing democracy or something else that's probably illegal there.*10 Madonna instagram pictures total in the gallery:
Madonna in Gstaad, Switzerland
I couldn't think of a more fitting way to ring in the new year than to make fun of a self-aggrandizing 54-year-old who's never actually skied before but, in her own mind, is already as good or better than Lindsey Vonn. Watch out kid -- don't get within grabbing distance! Little boys' souls are her favorite to harvest for youthful vigor and energy!*21 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:
Madonna and Brahim Zaibat performing in Porto Alegre, Brazil
It's a well-known fact that Madonna is dating one of the dancers on her tour, Brahim Zaibat, and she definitely wasn't shy with him on stage Sunday night in Brazil. How crazy that Madonna loves 24-year-olds and Brahim loves having his bills paid, and the two just happened
to be working together on the same concert tour? Love works in mysterious and profitable ways. I've stopped trying to make sense of it.*10 Madonna pictures total in the gallery: