Madonna is trying too hard

FACT: Madonna is older than the audio cassette. When you're older than the audio cassette, you can't post shit like this to Instagram. Actually, you shouldn't even have an Instagram. Your grandchildren should. Knock it off, Madonna.

*5 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:

  • Madonna Boobs Push Up 1
  • Madonna Boobs Push Up 2
  • Madonna Boobs Push Up 3
  • Madonna Boobs Push Up 4
  • Madonna Boobs Push Up 5

Madonna in the Dec/Jan issue of Interview

Either this photoshoot was done 20 years ago and just published, or the photoshop artist at Interview magazine just bought a new house with all the overtime he earned, because Madonna looks absolutely ridiculous. Bitch, you're 56, not 36. I'm not gonna be all ageist and say Madonna's getting too old for this shit, but after the photoshoot, a boy scout helped her across the street and earned a merit badge.

NOTE: To see the uncensored Madonna Interview pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*20 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:

  • Madonna Interview Nipples 1
  • Madonna Interview Nipples 2
  • Madonna Interview Nipples 3
  • Madonna Interview Nipples 4
  • Madonna Interview Nipples 5
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  • Madonna Interview Nipples 20

Madonna in the May/June issue of L'Uomo Vogue

I woke up this morning hoping -- no, dreaming -- that I would be blessed with the opportunity to see a 55-year-old mother-of-four's nipples at some point this week. God bless you, Madonna, for making dreams come true.

NOTE: To see the uncensored Madonna nipple pictures, click the picture above or any thumbnail with a yellow star on it and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.

*15 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:

  • Madonna Photoshoot Nip 1
  • Madonna Photoshoot Nip 2
  • Madonna Photoshoot Nip 3
  • Madonna Photoshoot Nip 4
  • Madonna Photoshoot Nip 5
  • Madonna Photoshoot Nip 6
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  • Madonna Photoshoot Nip 11
  • Madonna Photoshoot Nip 12
  • Madonna Photoshoot Nip 13
  • Madonna Photoshoot Nip 14
  • Madonna Photoshoot Nip 15
Madonna's rejected Met Gala outfit

What a shame that Anna Wintour wouldn't let Madonna wear this outfit to the Met Gala last night ("What i wanted to wear to Met Ball but Anna said Not this year! So I'm gonna work on music instead?"). I think everyone in attendance was in agreement that the one thing missing that would have made it an absolutely magical night was a 55-year-old chick's tits.

Madonna heading to a pilates class in West Hollywood (1/30)

Great news: Now we can all look like Madonna! She's releasing her own skincare line in Japan. First Fukushima, and now this? Haven't they suffered enough? Via Contact Music:
Pop superstar Madonna has expanded her business empire by launching a skincare range. The Material Girl star teamed up with Japanese cosmetics company Mtg to create MDNA Skin, which is described as an "innovative and revolutionary skin care brand created by Madonna". The collection, which includes a face mask and skin serum, launches in Japan this week.
Of course Madonna should be the face of a line of beauty products, I can't tell you how many times the past few years that a senior citizen has told me that they wished they looked like a character straight out of a Tim Burton opium-induced fever dream. Actually, I can: NO ONE has ever wanted a face like that. EVER. No woman in her right mind has ever said: "Hey, make me look like a more bitchy Hilary Clinton." Well, Barbra Streisand might have, but that's only because her new face came with Bill's dick in the mouth hole. What, 20-year-old political references are too high brow for you?

*15 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:

  • Madonna Skin Line 1
  • Madonna Skin Line 2
  • Madonna Skin Line 3
  • Madonna Skin Line 4
  • Madonna Skin Line 5
  • Madonna Skin Line 6
  • Madonna Skin Line 7
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  • Madonna Skin Line 15

Madonna and her son David Banda at the 56th Annual Grammy Awards at the Staples Center in L.A. (1/26)

Everyone made a big deal about Madonna referring to her white son Rocco as "disnigga" last week on Instagram, so to prove that she's definitely not a racist, Madonna trotted out her black son David for the cameras at last nights Grammys. "Remember David, if any of the photographers are mean to you, cast one of those Africany potion curse things on them . . . you can do those, right?" Racist bitch.

*26 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:

  • Madonna Not Racist 1
  • Madonna Not Racist 2
  • Madonna Not Racist 3
  • Madonna Not Racist 4
  • Madonna Not Racist 5
  • Madonna Not Racist 6
  • Madonna Not Racist 7
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  • Madonna Not Racist 19
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Paparazzi pictures from Tuesday, November 19

Madonna arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Rihanna leaving her hotel in New York (pics start here)

Elizabeth Banks at the L.A. premiere of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire at the Nokia Theatre in Downtown L.A. (pics start here)

Reality star Kimber James filming her new show in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Alec Baldwin leaving his apartment in New York (pics start here)

Rachel McAdams filming the Untitled Cameron Crowe movie in Oahu, Hawaii (pics start here)

Charlize Theron shopping at the Colette store in Paris (pics start here)

Elizabeth Olsen outside The Daily Show studios in New York (pics start here)

Reality stars Josh Altman and Heather Bilyeu (Million Dollar Listing) leaving Porta Via restaurant in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Kristin Chenoweth on the set of The Boy Next Door in L.A. (pics start here)

Karolina Kurkova leaving the "Fashion For Kids" benefit in Prague, Czech Republic (pics start here)

Ke$ha arriving on a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

*112 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Madonna Looking Old 1
  • Madonna Looking Old 2
  • Madonna Looking Old 3
  • Madonna Looking Old 4
  • Madonna Looking Old 5
  • Madonna Looking Old 6
  • Madonna Looking Old 7
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  • Madonna Looking Old 35

Lourdes Leon out for a walk in Villefranche-sur-Mer, France (8/11)

16. She's, uh, 16.

*21 Lourdes Leon pictures total in the gallery:

  • Lourdes Leon Big Boobs
  • Lourdes Leon Hot
  • Did Lourdes Leon Get Fake Tits
  • Madonna Daughter Hot
  • Boobs Lourdes Leon
  • Lourdes Leon Tits
  • Lourdes Leon Fake Boobs
  • Lourdes Leon Busty
  • Lourdes Leon Jailbait
  • Hot Lourdes Leon Pics
  • Madonna Daughter Grown Up
  • Lourdes Leon Cleavage
  • Lourdes Leon Grown Up
  • Madonna Daughter Breasts
  • Madonna Daughter Pretty
  • Lourdes Leon Underage
  • Lourdes Leon Pretty
  • Madonna Hot Daughter
  • Pictures of Madonna Daughter
  • Pictures of Lourdes Leon

Madonna at Cibel et Nature in Villefranche, France (8/11)

Madonna debuted her new gold grill over the weekend while rocking out to the new One Direction album (probably) and playing paintball in France (she shot her entourage and a few of the paparazzi's cars, too). A 54-year-old mother of four. Gold grill. Yup. After she was done for the day, Madonna drank an entire bottle of sizzurp, complained about how whitey was keeping her down (even though she has millions in the bank), and . . . what else do only black rappers do?

*25 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:

  • Madonna Grill Pics
  • Madonna Paintball Photos
  • Madonna Gold Teeth Pictures
  • Madonna Not Young
  • Madonna Pathetic Images
  • Madonna Pathetic Pics
  • Madonna Grill Photos
  • Madonna MILF
  • Madonna Paintball Pictures
  • Madonna Gold Teeth Images
  • Madonna Old Photos
  • Madonna Pathetic Photos
  • Madonna Gold Teeth Pics
  • Madonna Grill Pictures
  • Madonna Elderly Pics
  • Madonna Paintball Images
  • Madonna Paintball Pics
  • Madonna Old Pics
  • Madonna Gold Teeth Photos
  • Madonna 14k Teeth
  • Madonna Pathetic Pictures
  • Madonna TV Johnny Grill
  • Madonna Grill Images
  • Madonna Gold Teeth Grill
  • Madonna Krunk Grillz

Madonna on her way to the Kabbalah Center in New York (5/19)

Even though guns and gun violence are a pretty touchy subject right now in the United States, Madonna wore a sweatshirt with an AK-47 on it Sunday in New York. That's right, AN ASSAULT RIFLE! . . . *birds chirping* . . . try again, old lady. The last time you did something even remotely shocking, you were still having your period . . . so about 20 years ago.

*20 Madonna pictures total in the gallery:

  • Madonna AK47 Sweatshirt 1
  • Madonna AK47 Sweatshirt 2
  • Madonna AK47 Sweatshirt 3
  • Madonna AK47 Sweatshirt 4
  • Madonna AK47 Sweatshirt 5
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  • Madonna AK47 Sweatshirt 20