Lynne Spears

Lynne Spears is an Avon Lady

If any of the new beauty products Lynne Spears is selling are peanut butter-based, she's gonna become a millionaire just off the sales from her daughter alone. From TMZ:

Lynne is now an "Independent Consultant" with a company called Rodan + Fields Dermatologists ...  which means she's basically an Avon lady with different products. In her new job, Lynne will call up everyone she knows and set up appointments in an effort to hock everything from anti-age eyeclothes ... to vitamin D supplements ... and even a $160 anti-sun damage kit.

Lynne will get a commission from every sale she makes ... and if she kicks ass -- she's eligible for bonuses! A rep for R.F.D. tells us Lynne joined the team earlier this month -- and insists the company is "delighted" to have her.

Lynne told company honchos she joined up because, "My best friend, who is also a consultant brought me on board.  I love the team I am working with and am excited about building my new business."

As a conservator of Britney's estate, why doesn't Lynne just do what most parents of child stars do when they need money -- steal it. Besides, as any ugly person will tell you, the best way to improve your appearance to the opposite sex isn't by lathering your face with these fancy lotions Lynne is selling. It's by lining your pockets with 100s.

*10 Lynne Spears pictures total in the gallery:

Britney Spears outside Only Hearts boutique in Santa Monica (10/6)

Not everyone's happy that Jamie and Lynn Spears are reconciling. Take their insane daughter for example. From the National Enquirer:

You’d think Britney Spears would be thrilled to see her divorced parents get back together-instead she’s furious! The troubled performer believes the reunion will destroy her chance to gain her freedom from court-ordered supervision.

"Britney feels completely betrayed," revealed a source. "Britney used to be able to confide in Lynne about all the problems she had with her father. Lynne gave Britney hope that she could get out of the conservatorship and be on her own again. She even promised to speak to Britney’s doctors and lawyers on her behalf. Now Britney realized Lynne was going behind her back and telling Jamie everything she said."

Britney believes that Lynne was working with her father all along to manipulate her into being more cooperative-and that she did so for financial reasons. Dad Jamie, 58, earns $16,000 a month for his role as Britney’s conservator. "If Jamie were no longer her conservator, the money would stop and Lynne and Jamie would both again become dependent on Britney’s generosity for money." (Print Edition - 12/13)

Wait a second, are we supposed to believe that the pushy parents of a highly successful child star would manipulate their own progeny for personal financial gain? The hell you say! If this hadn't happened to every single famous kid I can think of since the beginning of time -- mind you, Britney is still basically a kid, I never would have believed it. Hopefully future child stars will realize that the only way to keep their mom and dad's hands off of their money is to hide it in the one place they'd never look: a parenting book.

*10 Britney Spears pictures total in the gallery:

Britney Spears Pictures

Lynne and Jamie Spears in 2004

Eight years after they divorced, Britney Spears' parents Lynn and Jamie are getting back together. As soon as her morning meds wear off and she's able to express emotion, I bet Britney will have the biggest smile on her face. From People:

"They are back together and are doing well and happy," a source tells PEOPLE. "[They're] not remarried but back together."

The couple, who divorced in 2002, were looking friendly on Saturday at Los Angeles lounge Boudoir. Onlookers at the lounge spotted Lynne and Jamie cheering and dancing as DJ Mr. Best spun Britney's hits, like "Toxic" and "Gimme More."

"They were in a great mood together," says an onlooker. "They were laughing together - dancing and laughing [and] totally having fun."

Lynne Spears is 55 -- that means she can't have kids anymore, right? I hope not. Judging by how well the last two turned out (one's an unwed teen mother, the other's crazy), if Jamie gets liquored up on moonshine and knocks her up again, there's a very good chance she gives birth to a live grenade or poison cobra of some kind. We should remove her vagina just to be safe.

*5 Lynne Spears and Jamie Spears pictures total in the gallery:

Sam Lutfi with Britney and Lynne Spears in L.A. last January

I didn't think you could look like any bigger of a slimeball. Way to prove me wrong by suing the woman whose career you helped destroy. From TMZ:

Sam Lutfi has filed a lawsuit against Britney Spears and her parents for libel, defamation, battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress and breach of contract. According to the papers, Sam claims Jamie and Lynn "launched a campaign of lies and intimidation designed to destroy Lutfi and drive him out of Britney's life."

All the claims of libel and defamation spring from Lynne's book, "Through the Storm." Lutfi says since the publication of the book, he "has been subjected to unfathomable amounts of ridicule and public scorn."

Lutfi also claims Britney broke a contract with him and owes him unpaid management fees. He claims he had an oral agreement with Spears to be her manager for four years, earning 15% commission. (Source)

So Sam's suing Britney because she reneged on an oral agreement? Did he miss that whole thing about Britney not being mentally fit to make decisions for herself? I don't think the judge is gonna care what she told him. Dude, Britney made an oral agreement with bacon last year. I'm not sure what they agreed on but I bet it was something delicious.