Even with five arrests under her belt, hot mess Lindsay Lohan still believes she's destined to win an Oscar! "Lindsay is clearly living on a different planet," an insider told the Enquirer. "Her life is in taters and no one in Hollywood will even take her calls. But she still sees herself as a player, and she's telling friends that her career is going better than ever. She's even talking about finding a role that will make her dream of winning an Oscar come true!" (Print Edition)Lindsay's dreaming of winning an Oscar? She better start dreaming of being able to pay the rent first. Sorry Lindsay, the only way to win an Oscar is with talent, hard work, and a role in a movie that doesn't have the word "CUM" in the title. Having none of those means that you'll most likely be out of the film industry -- or even worse -- end up on a reality TV show. No, if Lindsay wants to win an Oscar, she's going to have to do what Marisa Tomei apparently did to win it -- sleep with every member of the Academy.
"The pictorial is absolutely fantastic and very tasteful, and will be accompanied by an interview that will let readers see another side of Lindsay," rep Steve Honig tells E! News.Clearly not knowing the definition of the word "classy," Hugh Hefner told to The Insider:
"It's a classic tribute inspired by the original Tom Kelly nude pictorial of Marilyn Monroe, a portion of which was the original playmate in the very first issue of Playboy. Oh yes. And classy, very classy."I can honestly say that Lindsay Lohan is the gift that keeps on giving. Can you name another celebrity with LiLo's staying power? Lindsay drank Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, the Simpson skanks, and Andy Dick under the table. She burned the tips of Samantha Ronson's fuck fingers clean off, and now she's gonna spread that fire crotch for Playboy. Who else would do that? Who else could? Lindsay either has the work ethic of a Korean deli owner or she had her inner voice murdered. Either way, we should look at her as a shining example of what one can do when one is properly motivated -- and by "motivated" I mean coke-buzzed.
A source at the bash told us, "Lindsay was arguing with the security to let her in, dropping every celebrity’s name to get in. She could be heard saying, 'I have to go and see Leo.' Eventually they let her in, but she made everybody uncomfortable. She was aggressive and random, storming around. She tried to get to Leo, but he was surrounded by his security and a posse of his friends. Clint and Leo and Dustin Lance Black were talking, and Lindsay sent one of her aides over, demanding to get a photo with them, but security shooed them away."Shrewd move, Lindsay. Kim Kardasian had the "Celebslam 2011 Selfish Twat of the Year Award (as brought to you by Microsoft)" all wrapped up. KK's relentless self-promotion made her the runaway winner -- or so we thought. In the baseball game of life Kim had an MVP season with her high on-base percentage, but this is the playoffs, bitch. Trademark infringement, thousands of staged photo ops, and fake marriages don't really measure up to prison time, property damage, public meltdowns, meth mouth, and more prison time. It looks like this award is going back to the engravers unless Kim can manufacture a sex tape with Muammar Gaddafi.
Another spy at the party, attended by Ron Howard, Harvey Weinstein, Brett Ratner and actress/producer Christie Cashman, said Lohan kept asking to meet Oscar-winning producer Brian Grazer, who’d already left.
Dina Lohan is 100% in support of Lindsay's Playboy photo shoot. She tells X17online exclusively, "The photo shoot went well."Of course Dina thinks Lindsay's photoshoot "went well" -- she got paid more than $750K for just a few hours of work. What mother wouldn't be proud? The saddest part about this whole story is that even though he was arrested twice this week, Michael Lohan is actually starting to look like the responsible parent in this family. Say what you will about the guy, but at least he doesn't encourage his daughter to take off her clothes for money -- he saves that philosophy for his "girlfriends."
The 25-year-old actress is earning more than $750,000 to take it off for the famous men's magazine, according to TMZ. X17online has exclusive photos of Lilo arriving to the shoot at a massive mansion in Beverly Hills with younger sister Ali in tow.
Sources tell us the deal has been in the works for months, and that Lindsay balked at an initial $750K offer because she wanted ... ONE MILLION dollars. We're told Hugh Hefner and Co. recently came back to Lindsay with an offer less than her asking price -- but close enough for her to sign on the dotted line. No word yet on which issue Linds will be featured in ... but it's a good bet she'll be on the cover.E! is saying that Lindsay will be in the January issue, but she won't be nude (does she have to be a disappointment at everything?):
Lohan was spotted heading into a Beverly Hills mansion, purportedly the scene of the photo shoot, [on Monday]. And a source tells E! News that it was for a non-nude (sorry, folks!) layout for the January issue.So is Lindsay posing nude or not? I don't know. If anything, Hef made Lindsay get naked just to make sure she didn't steal anything from the mansion. "Hey, that's my soap dish!"
We're told Lindsay has internalized Sautner's admonitions -- and is taking the entire experience today as one big warning that she needs to get her act together, stat. As a result, we're told Lindsay will be visiting the morgue tomorrow to get started on her community service. In fact, Lindsay says she's so serious about impressing the judge ... we're told she has promised to go to the morgue every day between now and her next hearing on November 2.It's clear Lindsay has finally turned a corner and changed as a person . . . and it was clear for about 12 hours until she showed up to the morgue this morning:
Lindsay Lohan is going to be turned away from the L.A. County Morgue today, because she was late. Sources at the morgue tell TMZ ... Lindsay was scheduled to be at the morgue at 8 AM. At 7:40, Lindsay's assistant called to say they were 10 minutes away. By 8:20, she was still a no-show. So officials at the Coroner's Office have decided if Lindsay eventually shows up they will turn her away.How long are we going to keep pretending that Lindsay is sober? Just look at the picture of her in court yesterday. She looks cracked out of her mind. She probably wants to go to the morgue every day so she can get high off the formaldehyde.
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