Recently in Lindsay Lohan Category

Lindsay Lohan is a moron

Remember when Lindsay Lohan thought she deserved $14,000 worth of free clothing from West Hollywood boutique Kitson a few weeks ago? Who could have seen this coming, but it turns out Kitson management didn't really appreciate her strung-out ass throwing a fit in the store. A spokesman for the boutique told Fox News:

“We're actually really offended. The tables have turned and now we're the customer,” a rep for Kitson told Tarts. “We spent $50,000 on her leggings line, but she hasn't come to the store in three years, and she didn't even do a personal appearance. She should have brought cookies for the staff to thank them for selling her leggings because she does nothing. We don't know if well continue to carry them.”

Lindsay Lohan bikini photos!

Lindsay Lohan in Maui (Sept. 2006)

Lindsay Lohan leaving Cecconi's restaurant in West Hollywood (11/10)

Though apparently it's news to him ("This is not happening"), Lindsay Lohan is working on a jewelry line with designer Pascal Mouawad. Lindsay told Access Hollywood:

“[Jeweler] Pascal [Mouawad] and I are actually working together, we’re doing something with a friend who owns bebe. We’re doing a collection for them and we’re also going to be doing some other things.”

So Lindsay's basically just making shit up now. Tomorrow she'll cut off Bill Gate's Maybach in Beverly Hills and that will somehow turn into the two of them working on a new operating system together. "It's gonna be really really fast," Lindsay told E!. "And shiny."

My prediction: Two years from now the only type of jewelry Lindsay will be making will be "hand made" pearl necklaces in the alleys behind nightclubs. Kids, ask your parents what that means.

Lindsay Lohan shopping at Kitson after the Nu Pop Movement launch party (11/12)

Lindsay Lohan threw a "massive temper tantrum" last week after she was caught basically trying to steal $14,000 worth of clothes. As part of her appearance fee (!) at designer Pascal "I am high as a motherfucker" Mouawad's "Nu Pop Movement" launch party at Kitson boutique, Pascal allowed Lindsay to pick out $1,000 worth of clothes from the boutique (originally $500, but Lindsay whined enough to double it). And, being the self-important tard that she is, Lindsay racked up a bill of $15,000. Fox News has the pathetic rest:

But when told she had exceeded her limit quite significantly, Lohan responded that “Pascal would take care of it because I’m the only celebrity here.”

“Pascal said no, so she went and started talking smack about him to Jermaine Dupri who doesn’t even know her,” said an insider. “He was totally bewildered and couldn’t believe it."

Reason #7 why it never hurts to carry a can of bear spray around in your back pocket. Trust me Jermaine, no jury would convict you.

"Eventually Pascal said she could have $2000 to spend but that was the absolutely limit.” An absolutely distraught Lohan then tried to bargain with the Kitson staffer that was helping her through the store and insist that the boutique should let her take the remaining items for free. In exchange, she offered to “come in the next day and carry bags out so the paps could take shots.”

“The owner (Fraser Ross) couldn’t be reached so they told Lindsay just to take the $2000 worth and come in the next day and speak with him about the rest,” said our source.

But the drama still didn’t stop there - Lohan’s friend then got involved and said that it was the least Kitson could do seeing as though the 23-year-old had been such a loyal customer over the years. But Ross still couldn’t be reached and Linds was simply told no. Eventually the sulking starlet took her bags and stormed out in a huff declaring she would return for the rest.

It sounds like the gravy train may finally be coming to a stop for poor little Lindsay. Perhaps this whole incident will help her realize that looking like a homeless meth addict isn't helping her career (unless she's trying to win the part of "homeless meth addict #4" for the next season of Breaking Bad). If Lindsay really wants a free hand out, she doesn't need to be a celebrity. She needs to be a bank.

Lindsay Lohan's job in 6 months

There's no sense beating around the bush on this -- I just need to say it: Michael Lohan wants to nail his daughter. No no, not Ali -- that's just creepy. I mean Lindsay. From the New York Daily News:

Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Russell Crowe and other celebs may not recall exactly what they did at Scores during the strip club's thong-snapping, Champagne-drenched, mob-tainted heyday. But former owner Elliot Osher can help them remember.

For 18 years, since he started as a bouncer, Osher kept notes on anyone famous who walked into either of Scores' two Manhattan locations.

"Lindsay Lohan's father once sat down and described the kind of dancer he was looking for," says Osher. "We sent some girls over. Funny, they all seemed to look like Lindsay. We ended up having to show him to the door."

Michael Lohan admits getting into an "altercation," but maintains, "No girls danced for me. The last thing I'd want to see is a girl who looked like Lindsay. I don't even look at the magazines where she's done some risqué photos."

This explains everything about Lindsay. The drugs, the drinking, the cutting, the whoring, the mean emails to celebrity bloggers -- all are because of her twisted relationship with her father. The fact is that any guy that wants to get lap dances from a chick that looks like his daughter is guaranteeing three things in life: 1. His daughter will be messed up, 2. During the father/daughter dance at her wedding, he'll have wood, 3. A Christmas card from Joe Simpson.

Lindsay Lohan caught doing cocaine?

According to WENN, that's Lindsay Lohan arriving to a party in the Hollywood Hills Sunday at 4:30 AM. That's right, she arrived at 4:30. Hmmm, she seems especially alert for such an early hour. Maybe X17 can help explain why (hint: she wasn't playing board games at the party):

During the early morning festivities, we spotted Brandon Davis and Lindsay Lohan engaging in some very suspicious activities in the bathroom.

You can check out the video on PAGE 2. At the 6-second-mark, you can see Brandon put his nose to his hand and snort something off of it. Lindsay makes an appearance at the 26-second-mark.

An X17 photographer on the scene tells X17online exclusively:

"Last night I saw Brandon in the bathroom standing in front of the window, and you can imagine my surprise when I then saw Lindsay bouncing around the room too - clearly there was a whole different kind of party going on in there! After a few minutes, a photographer's flash went off, and the party buddies saw it and closed the window, but it appears as though they stayed in there and continued partaking in some questionable activities!"

I think it's so unfair to both Brandon and Lindsay to just assume there were in the bathroom snorting cocaine. Let's not jump to conclusions here. I mean, they could have easily been doing meth.

Lindsay Lohan leaving Bardot nightclub in West Hollywood (11/11)

What's a person to do when they want to guzzle a bottle of pricey champagne but just can't afford it? Order it anyways! And then try to get someone who actually has a job to pay for it. It's a brilliant plan. Except for when it doesn't work. From Fox News' Pop Tarts:

It sounds as though Lindsay Lohan is seriously running low on her cash supply. The troubled Tinseltowner was spotted all-smiles at Hollywood hotspot Crown Bar last Thursday but suddenly left in tears -- apparently before paying her bills.

Pop Tarts has been told that toward the end of the evening, Lohan ordered a bottle of champagne but when approached her for the bill she wasn't prepared to pay up.

“Lindsay pointed over at Kellan Lutz and told the waitress just to charge his card,” an insider said.

Lohan left soon after and apparently the situation wasn't really resolved. Naughty naughty.

I don't see what the big deal is. If Lindsay's guilty of anything in this situation, it's of using poor judgment. Oh yeah, and larceny. Which I'm pretty sure is a probation violation for us ordinary folk. Did you know that in L.A. if you show a judge a People magazine cover with your picture on it, it works like a "get out of jail free" card? It's true. They passed the law a few years ago. Why do you think Erik Estrada didn't get in trouble a few years ago for murdering all those hookers? People magazine, "10 Sexiest Bachelors in the World" issue, November 1979, baby.

Lindsay Lohan is an idiot

I think the only explanation for this picture of Lindsay Lohan at the "Nu Pop Movement" launch party at Kitson last night is the paparazzi asked her to pose like a complete and utter jackass. Success!

Lindsay Lohan is a cutter

Headline in December of 2006: Lindsay Lohan is probably a cutter

Headline in January of this year: Lindsay's cutting again

Oh hey, guess what Dina Lohan confirmed to Lindsay's dad Michael in another one of those recorded phone calls he sold for cash and prizes. From RadarOnline:

In another glimpse into the twisted life of Lindsay Lohan, her parents Michael and Dina argued over how bad the situation with their daughter was, and Dina admitted that Lindsay had been cutting herself. The shocking bombshell is revealed in the recorded audio tape exclusively obtained by RadarOnline.com of a phone conversation between Dina and Michael, where the two blame each other for Lindsay's dire situation.

Michael is talking with Dina, telling her that he represents the bad things in her life and Dina interrupts him, saying "Her cutting herself and hurting herself? Yeah, it's bad Michael, it's bad." Lindsay has been photographed over the years and recently with scars on her wrists, a sign of the cutting, which is a desperate cry for help from the troubled starlet.

These tapes are incredible. Just devastating secret after devastating secret being exposed for all to hear. Really, what kind of monster of a father records family phone calls and then sells them for rent money? Michael took the concept of "trust," bent it over, and fucked it in the ass. Tomorrow I fully expect Dina to reveal that Lindsay was actually the second shooter on the grassy knoll. I bet on Saturday we find out she's the Zodiac Killer. Nothing would really surprise me about Lindsay at this point.

Lindsay Lohan leaving Izaka-ya restaurant in West Hollywood (11/9)

Was Lindsay Lohan secretly dating Heath Ledger when he died last January? According to a recorded phone call between Michael and Dina Lohan that Michael sold to RadarOnline, yes, yes she was. Back in 2007 when Lindsay was still hot, it was rumored the two were getting it on. I'm sure in Lindsay's warped mind, Heath occasionally calling her at 3AM to come blow him counts as "dating." From RadarOnline:

"And she was dating Heath when he died," Dina reveals to Michael. "I don't know if you know that, but I know cause I would drop her off and they were friends very, very close, ok?"

Dina told Michael about the relationship because she was afraid for Lindsay's life too: "Because when she's drunk or takes an Adderall with it she will do something like Heath Ledger did in a second without thinking."

She said that the actor's death was a terrible shock to Lindsay. "That fucked her up," Dina says.

In the 2008 call, Dina discusses how desperate the situation was for her daughter. "She cannot be alone," Dina tells Michael. "When she sleeps here she sleeps with me... she has fears from being little and what you did to us."

Celebslam Theatre presents: "A Phone Call You Motherfucking Know Took Place"

*ring* *ring* . . . *ring* *ring*

Lindsay: "Hello?"

Heath: "Hey Lindsay."

Lindsay: "FUCK YOU, I TOLD YOU BILL COLLECTORS TO TALK TO MY FUCKING LAWYER!"

Heath: "No, no, it's Heath! I'm having trouble falling asleep, can you recommend anything?"

Lindsay: "Of course I can. By chance do you have any oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam and doxylamine on hand? That always works for me."