Leonardo DiCaprio

Leonardo DiCaprio at the premiere of the The Great Gatsby at Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts in New York (5/1)

Leonardo DiCaprio tells the new issue of Grazia magazine that fame is "empty and pointless" . . . you know, except he gets to bang anyone he wants and has enough money ($200 million+) to do whatever the hell he wants whenever the hell he wants. So besides that, it's a total drag.

"The money I've earned has allowed me to involve myself in projects I'm interested in and, above all else, help people who need it. The latter is, without doubt, the best thing about being wealthy. You learn, after you've been in the business for a while, that fame is empty and pointless."

Children, break out your #2 pencils because it's time for a pop quiz.

Question: what do Erin Heatherton, Bar Refaeli, Blake Lively, Madalina Ghenea, Miss Universe Kosovo, and probably 200 other models and actresses have in common?

Answer: None of them would give Leonardo the time of day if he was "Leo the plumber" instead of "Leonardo DiCaprio, the international megastar." Give yourselves a gold star if you got this right.

Don't let this one percent of a one percenter fool you -- he loves fame even more than he loves money. Leo gets to hump and dump prime choice talent, and its not because of his scary talents or good looks. "Fame is empty and pointless," says the A-lister whose IMDB profile is longer than Peter North's. DiCaprio's reasoning is so full of shit, I'm surprised John Travolta hasn't stuck his dick in it yet. Dude, you keep it up and maybe the powers that be will cut back on your fame a little bit. And then we'll see how long it takes before Leo's back on his knees sucking that celebrity teet.

*20 Leo DiCaprio pics total in the gallery:

Leonardo DiCaprio filming The Wolf of Wall Street in L.A. (2/25)

+ Kate Upton busting out of her top [Popoholic]

+ Cameron Diaz is topless [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Oscar Pistorious is a total piece of shit [The Superficial]
+ Liberty Ross is braless (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Celebs who sleep together, pose together [Celebuzz]

+ A little something for the ladies [Evil Beet]
+ Irina Shayk looking stupid hot [Socialite Life]
+ Top heavy bikini [Double Viking]
+ Miranda Kerr's casual sexiness [I'm Not Obsessed]

BIKINI PICS OF THE DAY: Rihanna eating a pickle

*20 Leo DiCaprio pictures total in the gallery:

Leonardo DiCaprio's latest hookup: Aferdita Dreshaj

Is there a 9 or 10 on earth that Leo DiCaprio hasn't been inside? I say no. From E!:

Leonardo DiCaprio's Miami beach pal has been identified.  When the actor wasn't ogling at Florida's natural beauty with pal Bradley Cooper, he was hangin' on his balcony with a blond bombshell--who, at first glance, looked to be his The Wolf of Wall Street costar Margot Robbie, but wasn't.

So who is his new female companion?

Turns out Leo was getting cozy with model and Miss Universe Kosovo 2011 Aferdita Dreshaj, E! News confirms. But don't start calling these two a couple (at least, not yet). Dreshaj tells us, "We were all just hanging out as friends."

Why is this news? Come on, guys, Leonardo DiCaprio banging hot model broads is as commonplace as the gasps my twelve-pack abs get when I pop my shirt off at weddings and funerals. If I wanted to report on every one of Leo's conquests every time they happened, Celebslam would need to become a tribute site to his genitals. The bigger story by far would have been if Leonardo WASN'T enjoying the services of a model's orifices. Hell, get me pictures of something I haven't seen before, like Rosie O'Donnell turning down thirds or Paris Hilton acting her age.

*6 Aferdita Dreshaj pictures total in the gallery:

Leonardo DiCaprio in Miami (1/22)

Leonardo DiCaprio used friend Jonah Hill to get the phone number of French model Margarita Gauchet, and now the two are dating . . . no, I mean Leo and Margarita, not Jonah and Margarita. Pretty sure he's a virgin. From Celebrity Dirty Laundry:

Leonardo DiCaprio declared he was taking time off from acting but that isn't stopping his ever-exciting love life. Celeb Dirty Laundry exclusively learned that Leo may be getting serious with 20-year-old French model, Margarita Gauchet.

The model/actress, who also goes by the name Margarita Ross, apparently caught the A-lister's attention on the set of Wolf of Wall Street sometime in November. A source and friend of Gauchet told us that Leo asked co-star and recent constant companion, Jonah Hill, to score her number. Leo rang her up and invited her to his now infamous New Year's Yacht party in Australia ... the one where seemingly all the chicks were topless and Jonah Hill walked around with a goofy I'm just happy to be here grin on his face the entire time.

Geez, this article must have been written by a Titanic fan girl, because it reads like a rambling, incoherent wishful thought more than it reads like a boldfaced lie. Look at him -- does it look like Leonardo DiCaprio needs Fat Jonah Hill to be his wingman? He needs Hill about as much as the United States needed Canada to defeat the Nazis. In truth, if it got me invited to one of his topless model gathering parties (Leo calls these events "Wednesday"). I'd be Leo's personal bitch-boy, too . . . no homo.

*15 Leonardo DiCaprio pictures total in the gallery:

Leonardo DiCaprio at the 70th Annual Golden Globe Awards at The Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills (1/13)

Fact: The typical New York to Los Angeles round trip flight produces an estimated 1,574 lbs of carbon dioxide. Which is not good. Via the New Zealand Herald:

Django Unchained and Titanic star Leonardo DiCaprio says he is planning to take a significant break from filming and concentrate on his environmental campaigning. In an interview with Germany's mass circulation daily Bild, the 38-year-old American actor said:

"I am a bit drained. I'm now going to take a long, long break. I've done three films in two years and I'm just worn out. I would like to improve the world a bit. I will fly around the world doing good for the environment."

Hey, good news, everybody. Leo DiCaprio is gonna take a break from plowing Victoria's Secret models to save the environment by flying around Earth on a glider powered by sunlight and his own positive thoughts. Oh no wait, he's gonna be on a massive, environment-destroying jumbo jet. I know his heart's in the right place, but Leonardo's an actor, meaning he isn't qualified to be a dog catcher, let alone be a watchdog for Mother Earth. Stick to making the occasional good movie, pretty boy, the men can handle the heavy-thinking.

*10 Leo DiCaprio pictures total in the gallery:

Margot Robbie on the set of The Wolf of Wall Street in New York (9/25)

It was rumored last month that Leonardo DiCaprio was banging his Wolf of Wall Street co-star Margot Robbie, and now the New York Post says Leo was seen leaving Margot's apartment building early in the morning last week. Maybe they were studying lines . . . nakedly.

Leonardo DiCaprio had been rumored to be getting cozy with his beautiful "Wolf of Wall Street" co-star Margot Robbie, but sources tell us they may be getting more serious. A spy spotted DiCaprio at Robbie's apartment building in Union Square on Thursday night, and Leo was seen leaving the next morning. "He stayed overnight," a source told us.

Robbie's rep didn't get back to us. A rep for DiCaprio said, "That didn't happen. Leo worked late and stayed home."

Sure, things are getting serious . . . for Margot. While she's making sweet, sweet love to her (fingers crossed) future husband, Leo is thinking about the night before when he went balls deep into another co-star not named "Margot." I just hope that Margot doesn't take her future dumping personally. Once you've accepted DiCaprio's DNA all over your face and chest, you've instantly become an elite member of whatever it is that you do. Case in point: Bar Refaeli. Before Leo discovered her vagina, she was selling falafel outside a Tel Aviv McDonald's. Now she's the best thing to come out of the Middle East since Jesus (some would argue that she's been No.1 for a while). Take comfort in that fact, Marge. Your salary will triple after Leo changes his locks.

*25 Margot Robbie pictures total in the gallery:

Margot Robbie shopping in New York (10/3)

Is Leo DiCaprio now banging his Wolf of Wall Street co-star Margot Robbie? Sure, why not. From the New York Post:

Newly single Leonardo DiCaprio headed to Las Vegas [last] weekend to celebrate billionaire businessman Jho Low's birthday -- and was spotted with his "The Wolf of Wall Street" co-star Margot Robbie.

DiCaprio, who just broke up with Victoria's Secret supermodel Erin Heatherton, and stunning blonde Australian actress Robbie, who plays Leo's love interest Naomi Lapaglia in the Martin Scorsese-directed movie, appeared close at the party at the Wynn Las Vegas on Saturday night.

One witness said, "There looks to be some strong chemistry between Leo and his leading lady. They spent a lot of time at the party together."

How gentlemanly by Leo to give Margot a chance even though she hasn't walked down a runway in her life. Maybe if Margot gets real lucky, Leo will let her give him a blowjob on the first date. *fingers crossed*

*20 Margot Robbie pictures total in the gallery:

Demi Moore at the GEMS Benefit Gala in New York (10/18)

In Demi Moore's delusional mind, she's still hot shit. So I guess I can't fault her too much for trying to hook up with Leo DiCaprio, who of course shot her down like a North Vietnamese MiG over the Gulf on Tonkin. USA! USA! USA! From the National Enquirer:

"Demi is so lonely and hungry for love," a source revealed. "After all these years, she's romanticized what really amounted to just a fling [with Leo in 1997]. She's infatuated with the idea of her and Leo becoming Hollywood's hottest power couple. She's lonely and facing her 50th birthday this month, so she's looking to rejuvenate her love life and career."

According to the source, Demi has been spending more time in New York recently, where 37-year-old heartthrob Leo is filming "The Wolf of Wall Street." "Unfortunately for Demi, Leo is giving her the big-time blow off," continued the source. "He won't even get together with her for coffee!"

"Demi's dream is to find a young, successful guy who can help elevate her back to her past glory," added the source. "But she's barking up the wrong tree with Leo. He idolized her when he was in his 20s and fresh off the blockbuster success of Titanic, but now Leo thinks Demi is too old. He doesn't want to get tangled up in her messy life." (Print Edition - 11/12)

Oh Demi, don't do this. There's no need to degrade yourself. You were a decent actress for many years -- I'm sure there are plenty of sassy grandma rolls in Tyler Perry movies you can take to keep your lights on. You're not gonna get back with Mr. DiCaprio -- the man is simply too busy plowing his way through the world of modeling (just ask Erin Heatherton and Madalina Ghenea). At your age, he can't be expected to return your calls -- you're better off trying to get the rub from an actor of your same generation. I suggest a dignified gentleman like Morgan Freeman or the old guy that seems to be in every Adam Sandler film. Or maybe Abe Vigoda might give you a pity fuck, once we confirm that he's still alive.

*10 Demi Moore pictures total in the gallery:

Leonardo DiCaprio filming The Wolf of Wall Street in the Financial District of Manhattan (8/25)

I've got some good news for the few of you ladies out there who have never had sex with Leo DiCaprio. You're gonna get to see his wiener. From the New York Daily News:

[The Daily News] has learned exclusively that Leo DiCaprio is set to "bare it all" in the highly anticipated Martin Scorsese flick "The Wolf of Wall Street."

"There will be some pretty illicit sex scenes coming up," said a set insider. "It involves four guys and two girls."

And there'll even be a little guy-on-guy action in one of the orgies -- but DiCaprio won't be in those. Not that there would be anything wrong with that.

Damn it, I don't need to see this movie to know that Leo is probably packing a boa constrictor in his shorts -- because that's the only reason to be in a movie with a full monty scene in it. Unless he pulls a Marky Mark and whips out a fake penis, expect Leo to be crowned Champion of Men. After all, he's the world's biggest star, he only plows the hottest supermodels (see here, here and here), he loves his mommy, and now he confirms the assumption of most women that he has a monster vagina splitter and isn't shy about putting it on display. God bless him.

*26 Leo DiCaprio pictures total in the gallery:

Erin Heatherton in St. Barts last August

Bar Refaeli couldn't do it. Blake Lively couldn't do it. Will Erin Heatherton be the one to finally tame Leo DiCaprio's wild heart? And more importantly, is that the gayest thing ever written on this site? From Star:

"Up until now, Leo's ladies have been prissy, girly types," says a source. "But when he met Erin he realized he had found not only a beautiful women but a talented athlete as well! Erin loves sports and in fat was headed for a career as a basketball player when a modeling again approached her on a Miami beach seven years ago."

"Leo is also a huge basketball fan," says the source. "He has a full court at his home in L.A. and is a Lakers season ticket holder. Whenever he and Erin are together they are always doing something physical, like hiking in nearby canyons, riding their mountain bikes or playing ball together. They never run out of fun activities to do ... Leo has been a real holdout when it comes to getting married. But with a girl like Erin, who has beauty, brains and can shoot hoops, he may finally have found his future wife!"

Wow, bike rides and Lakers games. I hate to piss on everyone's parade, but that's Leo's modus operandi. He gets to know everything about his conquests, teases marriage, then dumps them like yesterday's mushroom risotto. Just ask Bar Rafaeli. She thought Leo was getting fast tracked into the Mossad, then suddenly he "wasn't flourishing" when hearing the whispers of marriage, and her ass was on the curb. That's how us playas role, playa.

*25 Erin Heatherton bikini pictures total in the gallery: