Lauren Conrad leaving MI6 nightclub in West Hollywood (9/29)
If my head wasn't already horribly horribly bruised from
that Kardashian story I posted yesterday, I would totally beat it against my keyboard right now. From
Variety:
Temple Hill Entertainment has acquired screen rights to "L.A. Candy," the bestselling debut novel by Lauren Conrad, ex-star of reality series "The Hills" and "Laguna Beach."
Temple Hill partners Marty Bowen and Wyck Godfrey ("Twilight") will produce. Conrad will be exec producer through her Blue Eyed Girl Prods. banner. The book, published in June by HarperCollins, has been on the bestseller lists of the New York Times for 14 weeks.
Informed by Conrad's experiences, "L.A. Candy" tells the story of a 19-year-old who moves to Hollywood, quickly finds fame as a reality series star and then has to deal with the ramifications of living a fishbowl life. Conrad plans to write two more books on the reality travails of protag Jane Roberts.
"Lauren, who became an icon in that reality show world, came to us with a structure of how to tell the story in an interesting fashion that was separate and apart from the book," Bowen said. "We loved her take. Her book is an honest portrayal of what it must be like to set out to be normal, then sign on to become famous and eventually realize, wow, this isn't at all what I'd planned for myself."
Bowen said they will set a writer before looking for a studio/financier for the project, which was sold by UTA. Conrad will be involved in shaping the direction of the script.
The most depressing part about this story is that when Lauren's movie is finally released, it will probably be one of the biggest blockbusters of the year. Why? Because teenage girls will watch
anything -- just ask the producers of
Twilight. And for those aspiring writers out there with actual talent (who are forced to toil daily by writing about worthless pieces of human excrement like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan on celebrity blogs), after reading this article I only have one piece of advice for you: kill yourselves. Wait, that's me. Aw dammit.
Lauren Conrad at Kohl's "Clean Up" with Lauren Conrad" event in Santa Monica (9/19)
+ Gisele is fat [
Just Jared]
+
Holy crap is trashy skinny [Drunken Stepfather]
+
Saved by the Bell secrets revealed [
PopEater]
+ More Amber Heard sexiness in
FHM [
Popoholic]
+ Rihanna showing off her whaletail [
TaxiDriverMovie]
+ Miley totally looks like she's taking a shit on stage [
IDLYITW]
+ 35 awesome acts of bathroom graffiti [
Holy Taco]
+ Michael C. Hall doing what he does best: killing [
OK! magazine]
+ Another celeb diagnosed with swine flu . . . [
Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
Lauren Conrad is a best seller Never underestimate the stupidity of teenagers. The novel someone else wrote and then Lauren Conrad put her name on --
L.A. Candy -- is a
New York Times best seller. It topped the "Children's Chapter Books" list for the second straight week. Conrad told
People:
"If someone said to me five years ago when this all started that I would one day make the New York Times Best Seller list I wouldn't have believed it. I am so honored that it is now a reality. It was such a compliment to be included in something with such established names."
What is this world coming to? I can't get six people to
follow me on Twitter but this moron gets thousands to read her book? Obviously all it takes to make money these days is to get your face on TV. Unfortunately, the only way that's probably ever going to happen for me is if . . . wait, is
Dateline still doing that
To Catch a Predator series?
Lauren Conrad signing copies of her book L.A Candy at Barnes & Noble in New York (6/18)
A few years ago, if you would have told me that one day I'd be posting pictures of Lauren Conrad at her book signing, I probably would have punched you in the face and then tried to steal your obviously of very high quality acid. Shouldn't a requirement for writing a book be, oh I don't know,
that you've read a fucking book.
Second? Are you fucking kidding me? - posted on Lauren Conrad's twitter last night
Spencer Pratt filming a promo for the upcoming season of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here in L.A. (4/23)
David Letterman ripped into Spencer Pratt last night during Lauren Conrad's appearance on his show, calling him a "snake" and a "putz" (
clip on PAGE 2). It was quite enjoyable. It's said that every time Spencer is ripped a new asshole on national television, an angel gets its wings.
FUN DRINKING GAME: Watch
the two-minute clip and every time Lauren embarrasses her family (e.g. looks confused, stares blankly, or giggles like a fucking 12-year-old schoolgirl), do a shot. You're gonna need a whole bottle.
The Hills just got more fake
The Hills isn't even trying to maintain a semblance of reality anymore. MTV might as well hire robots to act out scenes at this point. At least they could program them to have a personality. From the
New York Daily News:
Lauren Conrad may have one more season left on “The Hills,” but she won’t actually be filming anything from this point on — an insider says all of LC’s antics are already in the can.
According to our source, Conrad’s contract with MTV expired in March; the star celebrated the end of her reality life with cast members at a party at L.A. eatery Beso last month. But that bash was her last “real” day of filming — and producers soon had the task of coming up with enough Conrad footage to keep fans happy through the entire season.
Their solution? Taping as much LC as they could before she left for good.
"The producers would make Lauren react to a lot of potential scenarios, because they’re not yet sure how the finale will play out with the other characters," says our source. "They would literally give her directions like, ‘Now react to Stephanie Pratt being pregnant!’ Lauren would just giggle and go for it. She also had to pretend to react to a fake story line about Audrina and Brody hooking up."
Lauren wasn't the only one to film reaction scenes for the new season of
The Hills.
Audrina also shot a few:
Director: "Okay Audrina, you just found out that the Earth revolves around the Sun, now look SURPRISED."
Audrina: *Stares blankly*
Director: "Wonderful. Next, you just found out that Santa Claus isn't real, now look SAD."
Audrina: *Stares blankly*
Director: "Great. Now impersonate the guy that actually hired you for this show."
Audrina: *Stares blankly*
Director: "Perfect!"
Lauren Conrad and Kyle Howard at Malibu Beach (4/4)
Things are getting serious between
Lauren Conrad and her oh god who fucking cares. From
Star magazine:
"Kyle's telling people he wants to marry Lauren," says a source. "So he was determined to go all out to impress her mom and dad."
He got his chance in early March, when Kyle, 30, and the 23-year-old star of The Hills met Lauren's mom, Katherine, and dad, Jim, for lunch at Mosaic Bar & Grille in Laguna Beach, Calif.
"Kyle looked nervous, but Lauren was so upbeat," says an eyewitness.
The foursome, who dined on nachos and salads, "got along really well," adds the eyewitness. "And Kyle picked up the tab."
Of course Kyle picked up the tab. With the
underwhelming success of Lauren's clothing line, he was the only one at the table with any money. Here's a little tip for all of you guys out there looking to impress your future in-laws: When trying to come across as a "provider," don't treat them to a big steaming plate of nachos. Take them somewhere a little fancier -- where the hot wings are entrees and bibs are used in lieu of napkins. Also, no jokes about how their daughter could probably suck-start a Harley. Been burned a few times on that one.
Lauren Conrad bikini pics! (Malibu - 4/4)
Sorry for the back-to-back
Hills posts. You probably already know this (and no doubt have set your TiVo), but the season premiere of the show is tonight. There's no telling what shocks are in store for us. Will Lauren talk on her phone? Or will she go shopping? OMG, I wish it was on right now! The anticipation is simply too much to handle!
Lauren Conrad = FAIL
I have some sad news about Lauren Conrad. Her "Lauren Conrad Collection"
clothing line has been put on hiatus.
Click here. From the
New York Post:
Some showrooms got a message from her camp saying, "In light of the economic climate, Lauren has decided to completely rethink her line." As a result, shipment of the last spring and summer delivery has been canceled, the memo said. Page Six previously reported that the line wasn't moving in stores like Kitson and Bloomingdale's.
"Lauren is going to revamp her line and design with more high-end fabrics . . . things she couldn't do the first time around," a source close to Conrad said. Her rep told us, "With everything going on in the economy and in her life, she wants to rework her line and offerings. She will make announcements soon." (Source)
Wait just a damn minute, are you trying to tell us that having a camera follow you around while you talk on your cell phone and order a Caramel Macchiato at Starbucks does
NOT make you qualified to become a high-end fashion designer? OK, I'm cool with that.
