Lance Bass leaving Villa nightclub in L.A. last night
There’s plenty of man meat to go around. Damn. I didn’t know Lance was this popular. He’s like Elvis, if Elvis knew way too much about self-tanning lotions.
[Splash News]
Lance Bass
I was inspired a bit by the last story to dedicate an entire post to really funny Lance Bass photos. I can’t believe people used to think this guy liked women. A parabola with an axis parallel to the y axis with vertex (h, k), focus (h, k + p), and directrix y = k - p, with p being the distance from the vertex to the focus is straighter than this guy. MATH HUMOR! OH SNAP!
Lance Bass loves pole!
Lance Bass threw a mini-fit in New York over the weekend when a few dudes took over the bathroom at the Maritime Hotel’s Hiro Lounge to smoke some, ahem, “funny smelling cigarettes.” A partygoer told The New York Post:
“He was banging on the door like a diva, yelling, ‘What the [bleep] are you guys doing in there?’ Finally he just yelled, ‘I just have to pee!’ and he went in.” When Bass was finished, the [partygoer] said, “he wanted to make peace, so he shook everyone’s hand. But he never washed his hands.” (Source)
I’m pretty sure urine wasn’t the dirtiest thing on that guy’s hands. I’m guessing the knuckle children from the seven guys he gave reach arounds to in the limo on the way to that club constitutes a slightly higher degree of hygienic concern. And why was Lance waiting for the men’s room anyway? There were plenty of open stalls in the ladies’ room. Get it? Because he pees sitting down!
NOTE: Searching for really gay Lance Bass pictures is one of the more enjoyable parts of my job. One of my favorites is above. Look at him handle that pole!
Lance Bass ironically at Busch Gardens
In an interview in the November issue of GQ magazine Lance Bass reveals that Britney Spears was the first person he came out of the closet to. In other more shocking news, Lance Bass is interviewed in the November issue of GQ magazine. Bass says:
“It was the night of her first wedding, actually. I was in Vegas with her, her dancers, her manager, and my boyfriend at the time . . . Her manager had already gotten rid of [her first husband] Jason [Alexander] - they’d flown him home. Britney was upset about what she had done. I felt bad for her. I knew she was about to go through a lot of crap. I felt the need to share something. So I sat her on my bed, and I’m like, Well, I’m gay!” Spears was “surprised. I was always the Southern gentleman.”
Also shocked over Bass’s homosexuality was Marc Anthony. “We were boys. We had a good time - before he was married. He was surprised when I came out,” Bass said. (Source)
“He was surprised when I came out” - Of course Marc was, Lance usually “finishes” inside of his . . . ahhh you get the point. Do you really think Marc Anthony was THAT surprised though? Are you telling me that all of Lance’s underwear parties, toy poodles, and pool boys (even though he didn’t have a pool) didn’t set off his gaydar? Being oblivious to that dude’s homosexuality is about as believable as Carlos Mencia coming up with an original joke.
Lance Bass is an American hero
Lance Bass, 27, has confirmed to People Magazine that he and boyfriend Reichen Lehmkuhl, 33, have broken up. This doesn’t really come as a shock since the two were seen avoiding each other’s company during the Sundance Film Festival in Utah last week. After dating since July, the two split in early December because they wanted to “work on their relationship.” Oops, didn’t work:
“We broke up last week,” Bass tells PEOPLE. “But we’re really good friends. Nothing bad at all - nothing bad at all to say.”
Wait, what? It’s not supposed to go down like this (pun totally intended). MTV has taught me that when two gay dudes break up they’re supposed to call each other bitches and scratch and pull hair and shit like that. This just seems so…civil. Lance, can I least get one of those sassy finger waves and maybe a “OH NO YOU DI’INT”
According to the New York Post, Lance Bass isn’t having the best of time at the Sundance Film Festival–and it’s all because of rumors about boyfriend Reichen Lehmkuhl and his “cheating ways.” Lehmkuhl was noticeably absent Monday night at the Heineken party, though Lance was there “with a bunch of friends.” As a “very upset” Bass was leaving the party, according to a witness, he “knocked over a stanchion.”
This story has to be fake. “Aggressive” isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when I think of Lance Bass. To be honest I don’t think of Lance Bass too much but if I did I’m positive that “aggressive” would rank right behind “womanizer” on the list of words I wouldn’t use to describe him. On a related note, when I was younger my Dad told me that when your drink of choice is Zima, you’re not supposed to be pushing over stanchions. Seriously, he used those exact words. He could have just said “post” but he wanted to seem smart so he used the word “stanchion.” I think that’s why he also slept on that old pile of dictionaries and calculators.
Lance Bass is so relieved the rest of the world knows he prefers penis:
FORMER N*Sync star Lance Bass says that coming out of the closet has worked wonders for his career. The pop star-turned-movie-producer announced he was gay earlier in the summer, ending months of speculation. He is now dating US reality TV star Reichan Lehmkuhl.
He says: “I’m totally happy, like a different person. It sucks with all the lies you have to tell, especially in the business. Now it’s like, ‘Wow, I don’t have to tell any lies to get jobs, so it’s cool.’ Personally, nothing has changed. I have the same friends, the same family. Everybody’s been very supportive.” Lance reckons the hardest part of coming out was telling his own Mum. He admits: “She was a little shocked.”
Though confirming his homosexuality may have done wonders for Lance’s career, other closeted stars are doing just fine, thank you. George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Johnny Depp still haven’t come out of the closet and they’re getting great roles. Even Colin Farrell is getting thrown the occasional cameo (now I don’t know if Colin is actually gay but I did see him at a bar one time with an umbrella in his drink).
Lance and his new pitcher boyfriend attended the Adopt a School function on August 12th where they both posed with Jaime Pressly.
Have you ever seen a man less-interested in having a picture taken with Jaime Pressly? I know she doesn’t have a penis or reek of Drakkar Noir but you’d think Lance could at least feign interest.
[source]
