Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen
According to both the Post and Daily News, 36-year-old Lance Armstrong and 21-year-old Ashley Olsen were all over each last night in New York. First the New York Daily News said:
Maybe Ashley Olsen just wanted some tips on how to wear spandex well. The pint-size starlet was seen nuzzling up to Lance Armstrong on Monday night at Rose Bar. The duo arrived together just after midnight, and Ashley stopped to get a hug from a sober Owen Wilson, who "looked really good and healthy." Said our spy: "Ashley and Lance settled in and within minutes, he was whispering in her ear and she was giggling like a schoolgirl. They totally looked like they were on a date." (Source)
And then the New York Post said:
Ashley Olsen has a new, older man. The 21-year-old twin showed up to the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel Monday night with Tory Burch's ex, Lance Armstrong, 36. Our bar spy said, "They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m." (Source)
Hate to break it to you Lance but you're about four years too late with this chick. Remember when everyone was counting down the days until the Olsen Twins' 18th birthday? And then they just sorta turned into freaks? It was like one day I was figuring out how to hook up with a 17-year-old without going to jail again and then the next day they were zombies. It's enough to make a creepy old pedophile who drives a windowless van and has foil covering his apartment windows weep. Hi Dad!
In the new issue of Details magazine, Lance Armstrong and Matthew McConaughey shoot down rumors they may be gay:
"We tried it. Wasn't for us," McConaughey jokes in the article about the gay rumors that have recently circulated about the two men. Then, turning serious, he adds: "I have a great friend in [Lance]. I'd do anything he asked me to, even though he'd probably never ask me to. And he feels the same way. It's fun going out and living life and doing things at the drop of a hat. Livestrong just happens to be the most deliberate guy I've ever met."
I would do anything for my best friend as well—as long as it doesn't involve another secret overseas assassination mission. They're tiring, stressful, and the last time I went on one, I missed an entire month of The View. Thank god for TIVO or I would have missed Rosie O'Donnell's opinion on the North Korea nuclear crisis!
Lance Armstrong is probably having sex with Paris Hilton:
COULD it be that Lance Armstrong has taken a break from incessantly working out with his new best friend, Matthew McConaughey - to spend time with Paris Hilton? The two showed up to the Key Club in L.A. Tuesday night to catch the band the Vacation. "They came together, they hung out and left together," said our spy. They missed Linkin Park's Chester Bennington hopping onstage with main attraction Metal Skool and belting out a few songs.
I wonder what was more difficult for Lance? Conquering the steep climbs of the Col du Tourmalet and the Alpe d'Huez on his way to 7 straight Tour de France victories, suffering through multiple grueling sessions of chemotherapy while being given less than a 10% to live, or navigating through the treacherous "innards" of Paris Hilton and NOT catching an STD. I vote for the latter with the chemo sessions coming in a distant second.
Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong
atthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong love jogging. This is the second time in as many weeks they've taken a shirtless jog on South Beach.
Of course If I was as fit as Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong I would never wear a shirt either. But I'm not, so that's why I'm wearing parachute pants and this heavy winter parka. My grandma told me the outfit makes me look svelte (don't even try to tell me my grandma's lying because - so help me God - I will cut you).
[Splash News]
