I mean, right? That's what he's hinting at here. When asked about a sex tape of Khloe and him being leaked, Lamar Odom told Playboy:
"When people see us in person, they see Khloe's not small. I’m not small. People see us and are probably like, Damn, I wonder how that looks. We wouldn’t have anything to be ashamed about, but no, that’s not going down."
Sorry Lamar, there's only one type of person that looks at you and Khloe and actually thinks about what the two of you look like in bed: anorexics. Imagining that beast and Shrek-body-double (you decide which is which) getting it on is a better appetite suppressant than coffee listening to a George Clooney acceptance speech.
*16 Khloe Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
For some surprising reason, Khloe Kardashian posted this picture on her website earlier this week of her tonguing husband Lamar Odom. I use the word 'surprising' because Lamar thought he had destroyed the picture by driving over and then burning Khloe's memory card. And then smashing it with a hammer. And then burning it again. But I guess not. Tough break.
*2 Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom pictures total in the gallery:
Khloe Kardashian leaving Katsuya restaurant in Hollywood (9/21)
Like Anna Kournikova in Miami on Sunday, Khloe Kardashian was also looking pretty damn pregnant as she left Katsuya in Hollywood last night. In related news, Katsuya announced today that they're getting rid of their "All You Can Eat Fried Calamari" special after an unnamed diner on Tuesday night -- we'll call her "Khloe K" -- made the executive chef cry because of her maniacal demands and seemingly bottomless appetite.
*5 Khloe Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom at LAX airport (8/9)
Khloe Kardashian is denying that her marriage to Lamar Odom is in trouble . . . which is unfortunate for Lamar because time is running out on getting an annulment. From Celebuzz:
Khloé Kardashian is speaking out to set the record straight on rumors the that she had stormed out of a club in a jealous rage after husband Lamar Odom was chatting with other women, based on RadarOnline’s report this morning. Khloé took it upon herself to set the record straight exclusively with Celebuzz.
Khloé told Celebuzz exclusively: "Sorry to disappoint everyone, but Lamar and I aren't big fighters. Come to think of it, that was actually a really fun night out with all of our closest friends...lots of dancing, drinks and our usual silliness. Stories like these don’t really bother me too much anymore."
Stories "like these" don't really bother Khloe too much anymore? Then why is she making a point of debunking it? In all seriousness though, Khloe has nothing to worry about. If who he's married to is any indication, Lamar has absolutely no interest in women whatsoever. He was probably chatting with these chicks at the club to get stock tips.
Khloe Kardashian and her husband Lamar Odom arriving at Katsuya restaurant (8/3)
Finally, it's socially acceptable to smell like my girlfriend. From E!:
Khloé Kardashian and Lamar Odom's latest passion project is coming to a store near you—just in time for Valentine's Day. Lamar let the cat out of the bag last night that the couple is collaborating on a unisex fragrance while attending Casio's Rock the World event in NYC.
"My hubby just spilled the beans on our unisex fragrance," Khloé posted on her Twitter from the party.
Sorry Khloe, just because you wear the same fragrance as your husband doesn't mean you get to label it "unisex." It's still called cologne. Besides, if women really wanted to be like Khloe, they wouldn't have to buy a scent from a department store. They would just live the rest of their life in denial about who their real father was.
Khloe Kardashian at the AXE "Cleans Your Balls" screening at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City (1/23)
And by "great," I mean "Kids? Oh shit, that's right, I have kids now. My bad." From Radar:
Four months into her marriage to Lamar Odom, reality star Khloe Kardashian has not spent time with his kids and did not accompany her basketball husband on a recent trip to see Lamar Jr. and Destiny, RadarOnline.com has learned.
Liza Morales, his ex and the mother of his children, confirmed to RadarOnline.com that the Los Angeles Lakers star did travel to New York to spend time with his children just before Christmas. Morales also confirmed that Khloe was not present.
Can you really blame Khloe for not wanting to visit Lamar's kids? Seeing children probably just reminds her of the medical conditon* she has that prevents her from having a baby. If Lamar wants Khloe to see his family more often, he needs to make sure she feels "at home" whenever she goes to visit them. The best way to do that: leave the toilet seat up and make sure the medicine cabinet is lined with cupcakes.
Khloe Kardashian at the SWAGG VIP Kid Rock concert at The Hard Rock in Las Vegas (1/7)
Lamar's giving you half of a $4 million mansion and you're still hyphenating your last name? Really Khloe? From Star:
What's in a name? Apparently a lot if you are Khloé Kardashian -- or should we say, Mrs. Kardashian-Odom.
That's right, Khloe -- who married basketball player Lamar Odom in September -- has decided she wants everyone to refer to her by her new name Khloé Kardashian-Odom.
In fact, when Khloe was in talks to host the AXECYB.com party at the Sundance Film Festival later this month, "Khloé stressed she wants all of the invites, press releases and tip sheets to include her married name," a source tells Star. "She also said while in public everyone is to refer to her as Mrs. Kardashian-Odom."
There's only one thing a woman can do that's more annoying than hyphenating her last name: insist you wear a condom talk. The fact that Lamar's letting Khloe keep Kardashian in her last name is finally making something clear about this couple's relationship . . . Khloe has a bigger cock, doesn't she?
"Operation Gold-Dig" is officially a go. Lamar Odom just signed over half of his new house to Khloe Kardashian. From TMZ:
What Lamar Odom taketh away, he also can giveth back -- 'cause dude just filed legal papers to transfer half the ownership of his new $4 million mansion to his wife Khloe Kardashian.
On January 5th -- one day after TMZ broke the story that title to the 8,347 square foot Tarzana, Ca mansion was held in Lamar's name alone -- Odom filed a new legal document to make the mansion JOINT property.
According to the prenup, Lamar has the right to keep the home in his name alone -- so the move is a pretty big sign of how Odom views his marriage.
Obviously Lamar has competent council from which he's getting his financial advice. I have a good feeling that, like most Hollywood marriages, this relationship will undoubtedly withstand the test of time and not be the biggest mistake of Lamar's life. Let us all look forward to decades of happiness between these two filled with prosperity, good fortune, and -- most importantly for any Kardashian -- never-ending media coverage. The end.
Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom leaving the Ivy in Beverly Hills (12/2)
Kim and Khloe Kardashian were on The Howard Stern Show on Tuesday and we learned quite a bit about the two. For one, they charge $40,000 to show up at a club. Also, it took Khloe's husband Lamar four whole days to seal the deal after he first met Khloe. How romantic. Here's the clip (starts around the 8:45 mark):
The strange thing is, even though Khloe slept with her future husband
only four days after they met, her relationship with Lamar is the most
traditional of any of the women in her family. Unlike her sisters, she
didn't get knocked up before getting hitched or turn herself into a
walking urinal. And unlike her mom, at least she didn't marry a guy
that looks suspiciously like Chaz Bono. It's uncanny.
Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian leaving Boa restaurant in West Hollywood (10/29)
Khloe Kardashian got into a fight with a tranny outside a club on Friday night. Wait, what? From TMZ:
A transgender male declared war on Khloe Kardashian last night, calling the cops on the reality star after an alleged shoving incident that occurred outside of a Hollywood club.
The alleged victim claims around 1:00 AM, she walked up to Lamar outside of club Playhouse and told him he was "too young to be married," when Khloe suddenly "pushed me and hit me." The alleged victim immediately called police.
Cops quickly arrived to the scene, and law enforcement sources tell us they interviewed Khloe, Lamar and multiple witnesses -- but no evidence was found that a crime was committed. We're told an incident report was taken -- but cops left the scene without making any arrests.
You really can't blame Khloe for punching this tranny. She has a pretty good thing going with Lamar, but she also knows his type. She doesn't want him falling in love twice in three months.
Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: