Kylie Jenner is rich, bitch
Kylie Jenner celebrates her milestone 18th birthday this coming August 10. And she's getting rewarded handsomely for it. She's being paid upwards of $200k to attend a raging, booze-filled party in Canada (where the legal drinking age is 18). Wow, just like my 18th birthday . . . minus everything I just wrote. From TMZ
Kylie's throwing a rager at Beachclub Montreal. It's Canada's answer to Ibiza -- a mini party island with a beach, pool, A-list DJs and lots of booze.
Kylie's being paid to celebrate her own birthday, and paid well -- we're told between $100k and $200k, just for showing up.
The club's owner, Olivier Primeau, is pulling out all the stops. Kylie will be choppered in, landing on a luxury boat that will dock next to a table stocked with bubbly. She'll also celebrate with a $3k cake.
Since Kylie's turning 18, you know what that means for Kylie and her boyfriend Tyga: goodbye statutory rape jokes. They've been fun while they lasted, but it's time to move on . . . to Bella Thorne
. We're watching you Bella Thorne's 23-year-old boyfriend Gregg Sulkin
. You get any closer to her and I'm submitting a tip to Crimestoppers.
Kylie Jenner arriving on a flight at LAX airport
After spending a week on vacation in France with her boyfriend Tyga, Kylie Jenner was spotted wearing a diamond ring on her finger at LAX on Saturday. Of course a million questions come to mind: Is this a promise ring? Is this an engagement ring? How did Tyga pop the question? When's the date of the wedding? Has Tyga ever read? Specifically, has Tyga ever read section 261.5(a) of the California penal code?
*7 Kylie Jenner pictures total in the gallery:
Kylie Jenner and Tyga departing on a flight at LAX airport
Do statutory rape laws still apply when you're flying over international waters?
*15 Kylie Jenner and Tyga pictures total in the gallery:
Kylie Jenner at Sugar Factory in Miami
Here's Kylie Jenner demonstrating some of that trademark Kylie Jenner enthusiasm
while promoting the grand opening of Sugar Factory's new South Beach location. Brilliant decision by Sugar Factory to have Kylie promote them. Provocativeness and promiscuity is definitely the image I'd try to push if I owned a candy store. I know if I had a daughter, I'd want everyone to call her a slut just for going to buy a lollipop. I mean what father wouldn't want that?
*15 Kylie Jenner pictures total in the gallery:
Kylie Jenner leaving Earth Cafe in West Hollywood
Did Kylie Jenner get a new watch? Or perhaps she suddenly discovered a sense of morals and ethics? Something about her is more noticeable that usual . . .
*35 Kylie Jenner pictures total in the gallery:
Kylie Jenner: Winner of #kyliejennerchallenge
Kylie Jenner says she's not responsible for hundreds of teen girls across America suctioning the hell out of their lips to get them as plump as hers. Well it is named the #kyliejennerchallenge. I'd say that's a smoking gun of guilt right there. She tweeted:
I'm not here to try & encourage people/young girls to look like me or to think this is the way they should look. I want to encourage people/young girls like me to be YOURSELF & not be afraid to experiment w your look.
Hold on hold on, writing this down . . . teen girls possibly dumb
. . . and highly influential
. Well, I certainly need a moment to compose myself. These are some shocking claims being made today.
*15 Kylie Jenner pictures total in the gallery:
Kylie Jenner leaving the Epione Skin Care center in Beverly Hills
Sometimes I forget that Kylie Jenner is still only 17-years-old. But then sometimes I remember.
*6 Kylie Jenner pictures total in the gallery:
Kylie Jenner's underage swimsuit
Via her Instagram, here's 17-year-old Kylie Jenner doing a swimsuit photoshoot in the Hollywood Hills over the weekend. What an amazing job by this photographer. He didn't let the Child Protective Services agents who suddenly showed up ruin any of his pictures. A true master of his craft.*10 Kylie Jenner pictures total in the gallery:
Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner out for lunch in Calabasas
Kim Kardashian is making millions from her stupid mobile game, so it makes sense that Kendall and Kylie Jenner want a piece of that action, too. Enter Glu Mobile. The CEO of the company said in a statement:
"Kendall and Kylie Jenner bring a tremendous amount of brand power and social impact to an audience largely untapped by the gaming industry. We are pleased to partner with them over the 5-year contract term.
Two sentences in and I already despise this game. I'd rather be caught with child porn on my phone.
"We expect that their creative input along with Glu's expertise in the celebrity-based mobile gaming genre will produce an experience that resonates with Kendall's and Kylie's more than 72 million social followers around the world. The game will allow players to interact with the sisters as friends and mentors as they work to realize their creative and career aspirations."
This saddens me. Because they're gonna make a metric fuckton on this. Hundreds of thousands of people are gonna download this and spend millions of dollars on worthless in-game coins and upgrades. For the first time in my life, I'm ashamed to be American. The Kardashian-Jenner family megalopolis have destroyed my sense of national pride. These cunts would never rise to power in Finland. Here's what MTV
has to say about the game:
Oh, and Glu Mobile: PLEASE make Kendall and Kylie's game cross-compatible with Kim's so we can transfer all our K-coins. Pretty please?
You know what, fuck you MTV. Just fuck you and your stupid douchebag writers. I'm officially my parents.*15 Kendall and Kylie pictures total in the gallery:
Kyle Jenner at a photocall for Nip+Fab at Westfield London
It might be considered controversial here in America to have a 17-year-old promote a product with her breasts, so that's why Kris Jenner flew her daughter Kylie over to England to promote Nip+Fab skincare. Sure she may have no soul or moral compass, but that bitch is fucking brilliant.
*20 Kylie Jenner pictures total in the gallery: