Kristen Stewart

Robert Pattinson at the Stand Up To Cancer event at The Shrine Auditorium in L.A. (9/7)

Despite being nationally humiliated by her, Robert Pattinson has forgiven Kristen Stewart and the two are getting back together. WTF? She's not even hot, dude. You have your pick of high school girls 18-year-old girls across the country. From The Sun:

Robert Pattinson and love cheat co-star Kristen Stewart have become an item again -- just months after he walked out on her. R-Patz, 26, was last night revealed to have had a heart-to-heart with the tearful Hollywood beauty, 22, and forgiven her "stupid mistake".

A source told how the smitten Brit had set up home with the brunette once more -- adding: "They pretty much decided they couldn't live without each other.

"Kristen poured her heart out to Robert and told him it was a one-off and a mistake. Rob sees it as Kristen made a really stupid mistake. After a lot of long tearful talks, they've worked it out. Rob can see how truly sorry Kristen is and has totally forgiven her. They really do love each other."

The pair have now moved into a secluded pad in the same Los Angeles compound where Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have a place.

Whatever, dude. The next time Kristen gives you a big, wet, sloppy kiss, hopefully it won't taste like Rupert Sanders' scrotum (since it's clear from her outward appearance that she doesn't brush her teeth and use mouthwash liberally). I'm just kidding, buddy. These are the sort of jokes you're gonna have to put up with since you agreed to be a cuckold. Obviously you didn't man-up because I see Rupert's teeth are still in his mouth so I guess you'll have to deal with the situation with class and humor, which at the end of the day makes you a total pussy. Now you can either wait outside your room while they hump each other or you can help prep the bull for Kristen.

*15 Robert Pattinson pictures total in the gallery:

Kristen Stewart arriving for a flight at Toronto International Airport (9/9)

When Kristen Stewart made her first public appearance last month, post-cheating scandal, she was spotted wearing Robert Pattinson's Baltimore Orioles hat. It was sorta creepy since she publicly humiliated the guy, but still didn't want to seem to let go. Last week she wore his clothing again, this time a shirt, and yesterday she was spotted in his hat again. Flynet has all the delightful details:

Actress Kristen Stewart, wearing Robert Pattinson's sweaty Baltimore Orioles hat at the airport, was in a grumpy mood as she caught a flight out for Toronto after attending the 2012 Toronto Film Festival in Toronto.. Kristen told her bodyguard, "Don't fucking touch me dude" when he tried to help her through the crowd.

That's typical Kristen for you, full of grace and aplomb. Honestly, I'm surprised she's not holding a cup of tea with her pinky out in any of these pictures. "Black tea with a spot of milk, 'tis my favorite."

*25 Kristen Stewart pictures total in the gallery:

Kristen Stewart arriving for a flight at LAX airport (9/5)

For the second time in as many weeks, cheating slut Kristen Stewart was seen wearing some of Robert Pattinson's clothing, this time a shirt at LAX yesterday. I don't know what's more embarrassing -- that Kristen's wearing Robert's shirt. Or that Kristen seems to fit perfectly into Robert's shirt. Hey Rob, weight room maybe?

*16 Kristen Stewart pictures total in the gallery:

Kristen Stewart fucked up everything

How much money do you think Kristen Stewart (creepily wearing Robert Pattinson's hat, above, after she apologized for cheating on him) and her whorish ways will end up hurting ticket sales for the final installment of the Twilight franchise? Tens of millions? Hundreds of millions? From the New York Post:

Execs at Summit Entertainment, the studio behind the behemoth "Twilight Saga" franchise, are patiently hoping Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart get back together after Stewart was caught cheating with director Rupert Sanders. As a result, sources say, Summit hasn't fully organized press plans for the fourth "Twilight" movie, "Breaking Dawn -- Part 2," out in November.

"The studio's holding out to see if they get back together. But I don't think anyone is banking on that happening," said an insider. "At this point, the press strategy would have been mapped out. It's usually very organized, but at this time it's undecided."

Sources said Stewart and Pattinson could attend premieres separately if they don't reunite. And that Ashley Greene could step into a more prominent role at promo appearances should fans' dislike toward Stewart continue.

Kristen, you're still sort of young, so consider this a lesson on why you don't shit where you eat. You had those silly preteens eating out of the palm of your overrated hand, but you just couldn't get enough of those married beef injections. Was it worth fucking up your career, stupid? If you came out and said that Eddie Munster is a complete dud in the sack then I'd have no choice but to mock him mercilessly, but you did the unthinkable and made a dude the victim. Pretty much everyone who lives on Earth understands and happily accepts the fact that women should be cheated on, but what's never been acceptable in Hollywood is the cuckholding of men. Also not acceptable: Being at the same place at the same time as Rob Schneider. That's just embarrassing.

*6 Kristen Stewart pictures total in the gallery:

Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders at the Snow White & The Huntsman premiere in L.A. (5/29)

She hasn't shown her face in public since the cheating scandal broke last week, but still, Kristen Stewart manages to seem like a bigger bitch every day. It's really quite an accomplishment. Via Contact Music:

Robert Pattinson was ''weeks away'' from proposing to Kristen Stewart before finding out she cheated on him. The Twilight star was due to ask for the brunette beauty's hand in marriage in the spring and he had even bought a $7 million Los Angeles mansion for the couple's future before being told of the 22-year-old star's affair with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders, 41.

A source told the Sunday Mirror newspaper: "Robert hoped to marry Kristen and was making preparations to spring a proposal before she admitted cheating. He had bought the house in Los Angeles to be their home and saw them staying there for a long time ... Now Rob is angry - he's left the mansion and not spoken to her since. They have exchanged heated text messages only."

Bobby, dry your eyes and look at the gift that your nasty girlfriend just gave you. Kristen handed you the golden ticket: you can dump her and not be a scumbag. Are you listening? You can Jennifer Aniston this thing and be the victim for the next couple of years, sobbing and plowing your way through the A-List as a way to regain your manhood while the world cheers your bravery on in the face of humiliation. Think about it, dummy, you can do no wrong right now. You literally have an army of barely legals lining up to suck the memories of Kristen out through your pee hole -- don't blow this opportunity by becoming a willing cuckhold.

*15 Kristen Stewart pictures total in the gallery:

Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart at a photocall for Snow White and the Huntsman at Casa de America in Madrid, Spain (5/17)

Add Charlize Theron to the list of people mad at that homewrecker Kristen Stewart for crushing the heart of Robert Pattinson and destroying the marriage of Charlize's friend Liberty Ross. I smell a chick fight coming! Via the New York Post:

Theron struck up a friendship with Stewart on the set of [Snow White and the Huntsman], but is also friends with [director Ruper] Sander's wife Liberty Ross, who also had a part in the movie. The scandal involving Stewart and Sanders that broke this week now has put Theron in an "difficult position," the site says.

"Charlize is absolutely fuming with Kristen for having an affair with Rupert," an insider tells Radar. "She is very tight with Liberty, has often socialized with the family over dinner and cannot believe Kristin has done this ... When they were filming... Charlize felt like an older sister to Kristin, and they were always sharing advice."

Who can blame "big sister" Charlize for being mad at her little pig of a sister? I think the only way to teach Kristen a lesson is for Charlize and Liberty to strip naked, baby-oil themselves and the dirty little girl up, and give Krissy a stiff spanking while I film the encounter. Yeah, spank her until she cries, or at least cracks a smile -- whichever comes first. I know, it's a bit harsh, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make if it will save a friendship and a marriage. No need to thank me, I'll be thanking myself later, over and over again.

*12 Charlize Theron pictures total in the gallery:

Robert Pattinson kicked out Kristen Stewart

Mentioned last week how Robert Pattinson had moved out of the Bel Air home he shared with Kristen Stewart. Nope. He actually kicked her cheating ass out over the weekend. Moving trucks were seen at the house on early Saturday morning. The good thing for Kristen is that she was able to get a discount on the moving truck because she fucked the guy at U-Haul. I mean, presumably.

*5 pictures total in the gallery:

Robert Pattinson at Coachella earlier this year

Robert Pattinson has officially moved out of the Bel Air home he shared with his girlfriend Kristen Stewart. Good thing his lease has a "Cheating Whore" clause, so he doesn't have to pay any penalties. From People:

"I'm not sure they'll be able to recover from this," a source says of the couple of three years, who met making the Twilight trilogy.

In seclusion and not in contact with Stewart, 22, the British star "is heartbroken and angry," says the source.

"Kristen really loves Rob more than anything," says an insider. "He's all that matters to her right now."

Slow down Rob, you don't want to just rush into this. If you love Kristen, you can both overcome this. You can actually become a stronger couple. Besides, it's not like chicks like Kristen are a dime a dozen in Southern California -- she's definitely unique. Most women actually care about their appearance. Yup, that's a zing.

*15 Robert Pattinson pictures total in the gallery:

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson at Comic Con in San Diego (7/12)

Kristen Stewart has reacted surprisingly fast to Us Weekly's story about her accidentally having sex with director Rupert Sanders, issuing a statement today denying the story and threatening to sue confirming that she cheated and apologizing to her boyfriend Robert Pattinson:

"I'm deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I've caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry."

That's definitely a heartfelt apology. You can tell that Kristen really cares about Robert. Hey, you know how I show my girlfriend that I really care about her? I don't fuck other girls.

*15 Kristen Stewart pictures total in the gallery:

Kristen Stewart at the Malibu Golf Club in Malibu (7/20)

Us Weekly is claiming that, while working on the film Snow White and the Huntsman, Kristen Stewart hooked up with director Rupert Sanders. Which is news to Stewart's boyfriend Robert Pattinson and Sanders' wife Liberty Ross. Awkward. From the mag:

On July 17 in L.A., Stewart, 22, was caught by photographers in a series of steamy rendezvous with Sanders, 41 --  and the new issue of Us Weekly has the exclusive photos and details. Sanders has two children, ages 7 and 5. During his marathon makeout session with Stewart, "it seemed like they couldn't get enough," according to one photographer.

People adds:

"Kristen is absolutely devastated," says one source. "It was a mistake and a complete lapse in judgment. She wasn't having an affair with Rupert. It was just a fleeting moment that shouldn't have happened. She never meant to hurt anyone. She's a good person who just made a bad choice."

Robert Pattinson seems like a genuinely nice guy, so I feel for him. Kristen Stewart, on the other hand, seems like she won a contest to be famous. Seriously, fuck this bitch. Just look at her golfing in Malibu over the weekend. There's 30 pics in the gallery. She's not smiling in any of them. None. I can't believe Rob stuck with her this long. Her vagina must be made of Skittles.



*30 Kristen Stewart pictures total in the gallery: