Kristen Stewart departing on a flight at LAX airport
You gotta hand it to Robert Pattinson. It took months for him to start trash-talking his ex Kristen Stewart, but now that he's at it, he wants everyone to know that she's a stupid ugly bitch. From OK!
Robert Pattinson, 28, was overheard trash-talking his cheating ex Kristen Stewart, 24, at a recent party in L.A. "After a few beers, he started going on about Kristen's new haircut, saying she looks dreadful and that he never would've let her do that when they were together," says the source. He even started questioning her sexuality, the source adds, given the short cut and the fact that Kristen has really only been seen with girls since their split. While it's not Rob's style to be so nasty, the source claims his friends were encouraging it: "Even though he insists that he doesn't miss her, it's obvious that he's still in pain."
Claiming that you don't think about your ex while talking shit about them is a clear sign that you haven't moved on. It's why I'm always badmouthing Alessandra Ambrosio, Sofia Vergara, and Kate Beckinsale. Sure, after they left me each of them claimed they were just using me for my body, but that hurts -- I have feelings, too. For example, I have a feeling that that burning sensation I get when I pee came from that whore Megan Fox. See? There I go again. I guess I still can't get over all the great sex we used to have. What an amazing few years that was.*15 Kristen Stewart pictures total in the gallery:
Kristen Stewart filming Anesthesia in New York
*shakes head in disgust* . . . A source told omg!
"Rob [Pattinson] is still in love with Kristen [Stewart] and can't keep away from her. They've been meeting secretly at production studios and at [mutual friend Shannon Woodward's] flat. The three of them have been close friends for years and all look out for each other.
"He's tried flirting with other girls, partying and putting distance between them but there's no other woman for him. His sister Lizzie has told him to follow his deepest feelings and to not by swayed by pressure from Hollywood, because his management and publicists want him to move on and leave his 'troubled' relationship with Kristen behind."
It's a cryin' shame, I tells ya. Big Bobby P. could have been motorboating the hell out of Katy Perry's titties or nailing every slutty USC sorority girl that exists for the last few months if he wasn't so hung up on his ex. Hell, it seemed as if Robert was Hollywood's lost puppy dog for a few months there, judging by how many starlets shamelessly pined for his affection. It's just too bad for those chicks that Robert prefers to be some second-rate director's sloppy seconds. Robert, dude, Kristen fucked Rupert Sanders, not Martin Scorsese. Lose her number already.*10 Kristen Stewart pictures total in the gallery:
Kristen Stewart on the set of Camp X-Ray in L.A.
Make millions of dollars. Go to school. Kristen Stewart is doing this backwards. From the Mirror
[Kristen Stewart] is going back to school, and doing a full-on degree. Robert Pattinson's on/off girlfriend has enrolled at America's prestigious UCLA to study English Literature - while carrying on with her film commitments, too.
A source revealed: "Yes, Kristen's a Tinseltown actress worth millions but she is already considering a life after film. She never got to complete college and she wants to get a proper education. She is a voracious reader and cannot wait to get going on her correspondence course. It won't be easy and it will mean putting in some fairly strenuous hours. But once she's graduated, Kristen will be able to do almost anything she wants, in or out of Hollywood."
"Don't be a fool, stay in school" - Great western philosophizer and one hell of a snappy dresser, Mr. T, circa 1984
Although I think it's lovely that Kristen wants to better herself, both as a person and an actress, why is she taking classes on English Lit when she so clearly needs classes on acting? I mean, come on, her emotional range consists of the face we all make when we get caught farting in an elevator -- or when we get caught banging married directors behind the backs of our supposed significant others. Who knows, maybe a few years of book learnin' will smarten her up some, just like college helped Amanda Bynes.*20 Kristen Stewart pictures total in the gallery:
Robert Pattinson leaving Kristen Stewart's house in Hollywood
After being publicly humiliated
by her cheating ass last year, Robert Pattinson may be back with Kristen Stewart. He was spotted leaving her house in Los Feliz on Sunday after being there for a few hours. According to the paparazzo, Rob "looked nervous" and was "trying to be discreet" as he left. Well yeah, I'd be nervous too if I was hiding the fact that I HAD NO TESTICLES WHATSOEVER. Rob, Kristen Stewart looks like Kristen Stewart, not Kate Upton. Unless she can blow bubbles and shoot ping pong balls out of her vagina like a seasoned Thai whore, you need to delete her number and never talk to her again.*5 Robert Pattinson pictures total in the gallery:
Paparazzi photos from Thursday, June 13
visiting an office in Beverly Hills (pics start here
leaving The Lowry Hotel in Manchester, UK (pics start here
waiting for a ride in London (pics start here
and Mary-Kate Olsen
out and about in New York (pics start here
getting lunch at Little Dom's in Los Feliz (pics start here
shopping at Whole Foods in Santa Monica (pics start here
arriving at a music studio in Los Angeles (pics start here
arriving at a yoga class in Beverly Hills (pics start here
doing an interview for EXTRA
at The Grove in Hollywood (pics start here
leaving a jewelry store in Beverly Hills (pics start here
leaving a gym in West Hollywood (pics start here
out and about in Miami (pics start here
*125 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson at Day 2 of the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, CA
After being apart for over two months while he was in Australia filming The Rover
, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have reconnected and were spotted holding hands at Coachella over the weekend. Wow, two months? Rob, buddy, I hate to break it to you, but according to my estimate, taking into account time, distance apart, and Kristen's nature, she's fucked 87 guys since the last time you were with her. Here's the math if you want to check, but I think I'm right:
2 Months(7,500 Miles) + Cheating Slut = 87 Guys*10 Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson pictures total in the gallery:
Emma Watson says it's OK that Kristen Stewart is a homewrecker
In the new issue of Vanity Fair Italia
, Emma Watson comes to the defense of homewrecker
Kristen Stewart saying that people should leave her alone because everyone makes mistakes. And I'm sure Emma would have said the same thing had Kristen fucked her boyfriend. Right, Emma? Via the New York Daily News
"Kristen is human, just like everybody else, and she's so young. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone. It's not fair to consider them matters of public interest," Watson, 22, told the latest issue of Vanity Fair Italia. "Those who criticized her are the same people that think that being rich and famous is like being covered in some kind of magic powder that makes life perfect. Nothing can go wrong in your wonderful world. For these people, Kristen deserves all the bad things that have been thrown at her because she had an amazing life and she ruined it.
"On one hand, I can understand why it happened: people felt really involved in her relationship with Robert Pattinson. But it's also true that they both have done everything in their power to keep their relationship as far from the public eye as possible."
Hey look, Emma finally popped her Hollywood bullshit-artist cherry (whoa, that's a lot of blood). Gather around your ol' uncle Nick and let me explain. You see, Hollywood stars are a bunch of sniveling cowards -- they don't take stands on any subject unless it either helps them or can't hurt them (e.g. their current "brave" stance on controlling guns not owned by their security teams). So that means Emma is either:
*7 Emma Watson pictures total in the gallery:
- getting plowed by a married hack director or
- is up for the lead in a Rupert Sanders hack film and knows his ex, Liberty Ross, can't hurt her. It looks like little Hermione is learning to play the game, even though her statements come off as ham-handed. Well played, now lose the top and smile for the camera.
Kristen Stewart leaving her hotel in New York
Kristen Stewart desperately wants boyfriend Robert Pattinson to knock her up . . . or, you know, maybe some other random guy she hooks up with. What does "boyfriend" really mean, anyways? Seems kinda restrictive. From Life & Style
"I can't wait to be a mom," Kristen, 22, gushed to Life & Style on Nov. 1 while promoting Breaking Dawn--Part 2 in LA. Even the typically tight-lipped Rob, 26, added that the infant who first played their on-screen daughter, Renesmee, was one of his favorite co-stars, and that "working with a baby is great."
What's more, the twosome's baby talk is far from idle chatter, confirms a pal of Rob's. "Now that Kristen is back together with Rob, she's obsessed with keeping him, and she knows he wants to be a young dad," says the insider. "So she's telling him, 'Let's do this; let's make a baby!' Before the cheating, he as the one pushing for marriage and children. Now it's her." (Print Edition - 11/19)
Am I out of the loop on this Robert Pattinson character? Why is Kristen so intent on keeping him? All of his movies are epic failures unless he's playing a pussyboy vampire, so I just don't understand why Kristen is working so hard to keep him hooked. It's not as if he's taking care of business in the bedroom -- Kristen was taking the pipe from whatshisname for weeks before she got busted, so what's with the baby talk all of the sudden? In Hollywood, adopted babies are props and bio-babies are burdens, so I need for someone to explain Kristen's rush to end her career. Oh, wait, now I see. Kristen is probably tired of having Macauley Culkin's body, but doesn't have the guts to go under the knife for a decent set of titties. No pain, no gain.*15 Kristen Stewart pictures total in the gallery:
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart leaving Berolina Bowling Lounge in Schoeneberg, Germany
According to reports, Kristen Stewart and her wandering eye
spent Thanksgiving with Robert Pattinson and his family in London --
including his sisters Lizzy and Victoria. Wow, how awkward must that
have been? "Kristen, can you pass me a dinner roll? -- if you can manage not to fuck someone other than my brother when you reach across the table." . . . "Kristen, are you most thankful for the fact that my brother is a complete and total pussy who doesn't have the balls to dump you?"*10 Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson pictures total in the gallery:
Uma Thurman at ELLE's 19th Annual Women in Hollywood Celebration at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills
After what she did to him
, I don't know how Kristen Stewart can be so pissed off at Robert Pattinson for his friendship with Bel Ami
costar Uma Thurman, but Star
says that's the case. Hey slut, sluts aren't allowed to act like that, slut. From the National Enquirer
A source tattles that Kristen is livid over Rob's new BFF. "When the cheating scandal broke, Uma supported Rob. They've grown incredibly close, and Kristen is super jealous of their connection."
Rob showed his devotion to Uma on Oct. 15, when the ultra shy actor made a surprise appearance at Elle's "Women in Hollywood" event to present the 42-year-old beauty with an award. Maybe Kristen should keep an eye on her man: "If Rob weren't so tied up with Kristen and if Uma were single, he'd go for her in a heartbeat. Uma is Rob's secret dream woman." (Print Edition 11/12)
Yeah, Kristen has a big set of stainless steel balls for telling her cuckhold who he can be friends with, but the balls were given to her by pussyboy Pattinson himself. Well, what were you expecting, sympathy? I'm sorry, but I live in the real world. Kristen snapped her fingers and slapped her leg and, like a really good boy, Robert happily ran back to her and got his ear scratched. When lil' Bobby stops acting like a bitch, I'll stop describing him as one, but while the show continues, Robert should be a dear and fetch Kristen's edible panties -- she's negotiating her next movie roll and a girl can't be too prepared.*10 Uma Thurman pictures total in the gallery: