Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick in Miami (10/29)
Scott Disick pretty much fingered Kourtney Kardashian in full view of the paparazzi yesterday in Miami. I know, classy stuff from a mother of two. "Shit, I better buy the rights to the video . . . I wonder if Kourtney will reshoot the scene so we can get some better shots for the DVD cover," thought Kris Jenner.
*30 Scott Disick pictures total in the gallery:
Ha Ha, you suck Kardashians
Three separate neighborhoods in Miami blocked Kim and Kourtney Kardashian from moving in and filming the new season of their reality show there. Gee, I don't understand why. Who wouldn't want to live in the reality show version of an Afghan war zone? From Belle Isle Blog:
Their efforts to get homeowner approval in three Beach neighborhoods were dashed (sorry!) -- on the Sunset Islands, DiLido Island and on North Bay Road, according to Raul Gonzalez of Miami Beach's Office of Film and Print. In each case, they needed signatures from the immediate neighbors of the home they wanted to use for three months of non-stop filming, and well as support from 90 percent of homeowners within 500 feet. Residents complained the film crews and paparazzi would disrupt their quiet neighborhoods.I'm willing to bet my precious left testicle that this particular situation wasn't planned out by Team KKK, even though history shows otherwise. Remember, every single faked press event is painted to make a Kardashian look likeable, even though they're about as likable as the bullet-riddled corpse of Muammar Gaddafi. They're sorta like Barack Obama. Back in the good ol' days of 2008, there wasn't anyone in the world as universally liked as Obama. But in 2012? Not so much. The word "Kardashian" is as cringe-inducing as the word "Obamacare," and that's a hell of a downfall for any attention whore to take.
So, where will Kim and Kourtney be? "They found a place in a gated community in North Miami Beach," just north of Oleta River State Park, Gonzalez said.
BTW, don't be mad, bro. I lifted this article from Fox News.
*20 Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Kourtney Kardashian flashes her butt
Kourtney Kardashian had a wardrobe malfunction yesterday on the balcony of her hotel in Miami, flashing her ass after sister Khloe twirled her around. It was the most embarrassing wardrobe malfunction to strike the family since Bruce Jenner accidentally exposed his vagina on the season finale of Keeping up with the Kardashians. Seriously, you're not gonna convince me that that's a dude. He looks more like a lesbian than an actual lesbian.
NOTE: To see the uncensored Kourtney Kardashian wardrobe malfunction pics, click the picture above and then click the "Full Size" button located at the top or bottom of the image.
*30 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Kourtney Kardashian leaving church in Thousand Oaks, California (8/26)
Call me crazy, but it seems like you and your significant other moving into separate apartments during the filming of your reality show probably means you don't have the healthiest relationship. Also, if you and your significant other are being filmed on a reality show, it probably means you don't have the healthiest relationship. From In Touch Weekly:
While they'll be in the same building with "Kim and Kanye West and everybody else involved in the [Kourtney & Kim Take Miami], Kourtney and Scott will be living in separate apartments," a Kardashian insider confirms to In Touch.Wait . . . what? Kourtney is living with Scott on TV, but they don't share an apartment in Miami unless Kanye is there with a production crew . . . holy shit! These people are just too damn dishonest for me to follow. Is there ANYTHING Team KKK does that is completely sincere? Fake relationships, fake marriages, fake leaked porn tapes . . . it's all fake (well the porn tape was real; the "leak" was negotiated by Mother of the Decade Kris). Look, I understand that Kris and her hatchlings are nothing but a bunch of carnies, but that doesn't mean that we all have to be rubes. If you schemers ever wanted to know why you're so hated now, it's because you insist on treating us like a bunch of marks. Dammit, you assholes owe me a giant stuffed animal!
Friends say Kourtney is so fed up with his hard partying and immature behavior that she can barely stand to be in the same room with him. However, living apart may be a recipe for disaster, say those who know the couple.
"It's the worst possible situation for Kourtney," explains an associate. "Scott's friends in Miami are partiers, and they're all in the club scene -- so he'll be worse than ever. With his own apartment, he'll have the privacy to do whatever he wants without Kourtney knowing. She'll still have to film with Scott every day and hear about all the bad things he's done without being able to do anything about it. There's going to be a lot of drama."
*15 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Kris Jenner and Kourtney Kardashian leaving Barneys New York in Beverly Hills (7/5)
If there's anything we know about the Kardashians, it's that once your umbilical cord is cut, you better start earning your keep. Which doesn't make this story from Radar about Kris Jenner trying to make a quick buck off her new granddaughter Penelope that much of a shock:
"Kris immediately started trying to make money off the baby, literally from the moment she was conceived! Even Scott stepped in and told Kris to back off, he actually told her they needed time to enjoy their baby before they share her with the world. But Kris was relentless and started taking photos with the intent to sell them, and the whole family knew it.Kourtney could stand to lighten up on granny Kris. Who can blame Kris for doing what she does best, which is selling children? Look, the porn star and kong are both cum dumpsters, but unlike Kourtney, their wombs are barren -- which means money will never, EVER, fall out of their vaginas. Until Team Jailbait are officially in heat, you'll have to leave it to little Penelope's bikini shots to pay for your Kardashian lifestyle.
"The last straw was when Kris wanted to take pictures of the baby during the birth, while she was coming out! Scott drew the line there, he said absolutely not! Both Kourtney and Scott have told Kris to step away, their baby is not some money making tool. They have a deal in place with a magazine to run the first photos of Penelope, but after that they want a little privacy for her."
*10 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Scott Disick running errands in Calabasas (6/6)
While his girlfriend Kourtney Kardashian sits at home eight months pregnant, Scott Disick is partying up a storm in Las Vegas. An insider tells Star about Scott's trip to the city last month:
"He was in the best spirits, joking with friends like Joe Francis and Scott Sartiano. They had dinner at Stack and then headed out to 1 Oak, where they partied at a VIP table until 3 a.m."Perhaps out of concern for the well-being of his pregnant girlfriend, Scott moved the party closer to home a few days later. What a gentleman:
And Scott didn't seem to be missing his girlfriend, who could give birth at any time. "He wasn't really on his phone texting her or anything at the club or dinner," source says. "There was no clear indication that he missed Kourtney. He was doing shots and drinking beers at the club, watching his friends hit on girls. He was just having a blast."
"Scott was at Chateau Marmont [in West Hollywood] with two girls and three guys. Scott sat between the women and was flirting up a storm with them, telling them what a good guy he is. Meanwhile, he was boozing, getting close and basically cheating on his pregnant girlfriend! It was absolutely grotesque and humiliating for Kourtney."So am I supposed to believe that the Kardashian family honor has been forever tarnished? Is that the message I should glean from this poorly-sourced piece of drivel? Look here, amateurs, Kourtney is loving the extra cover space she's getting in the supermarket rags, under the mistaken assumption that America will be sympathetic to her plight. It's the classic "naive housewife being taken advantage of" horseshit story, except that the wife happens to come from the most disingenuous and self-promoting family since the Hogans. Well, I say fuck that bullshit. Team KKK blew it once and for all when the sham marriage to the Neanderthal was exposed. Kourtney doesn't get a pass on this one, but she could get a mustache ride out of me. Hey, she's still the hottest of the non-jailbait Kardashians.
*10 Scott Disick pictures total in the gallery:
Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe Kardashian out and about in Sherman Oaks (5/31)
Apparently no one told Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Kardashian that their brother Brody was getting married, because they didn't bother to show up to his wedding in Hawaii over the weekend (about a 5-hour flight from L.A.). How charming. From Contact Music:
Kim Kardashian and her sisters Khloe and Kourtney decided against jetting to Hawaii to attend their step-brother Brandon Jenner's wedding this week. The threesome were instead photographed having lunch together in Los Angeles, while Brandon tied the knot with his sweetheart Leah Felder, reports the UK's Daily Mail.Congratulations to Brody Kardashian-Jenner-Kardashian and his future ex-wife, but what did they expect from the KKK girls? Class? Come on, dude, you know better than that. Brody is an absolute zilch in this business we call entertainment, so it's actually easier to list the reasons why the whores wouldn't be there:
Though it is unclear why Kim and company decided to snub the wedding, she did take to her Twitter page to say, "Congratulations to my step brother and his gorgeous new wife!" Meanwhile, Khloe followed suit on her blog, telling fans, "I just wanted to send a Huge congratulations and so much love to my brother Brandon and his fiance/soon-to-be wife Leah. Wishing you both all the happiness in the world!", adding, "I want to wish a huge congratulations to my step brother Brandon and his stunning fiance Leah who are marrying today. Sending my love to you both."
- Since it's Brody getting married, that guarantees that this wedding isn't being covered, anywhere.
- There's no endorsement possibilities since a Kardashian isn't getting hitched (Sorry Brody, a Jenner doesn't count as a Kardashian unless you fall out of Kris' money hole).
- There weren't any big black cocks in this wedding. Had this wedding been held during the NFL Combine or at least at San Quentin State Prison, you would have at least seen Kim and the Big One front and center wearing their Sunday best.
This is how Kim Kardashian promotes things
No, that's not a picture promoting the new Kardashian Kollection line of lingerie (kill yourself if you've ever bought that, btw). Kim actually tweeted the pic over the weekend to remind everyone to watch the new season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians:
"Season 7 of Keeping Up With the Kardashians starts tomorrow!!!! OMG"Wow, even Snooki thinks this is low class, and she once sucked a guy's dick because he promised to watch Jersey Shore. What's Kim gonna do to get everyone to watch the finale? A Juggs photoshoot?
*5 Kim Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Kourtney Kardashian shopping in West Hollywood (5/18)
On Friday, Kourtney Kardashian was spotted parking in a spot reserved solely for the handicapped, some of which are war heroes. "Fuck you war heroes, you pussies!" Kourtney may or may not have said. Shocking stuff. Disgraceful, really.
*26 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery:
Kourtney Kardashian shopping in Beverly Hills (5/2)
I know this may shock and surprise you, but another one of the Kardashians is trying to profit on her wedding and has already signed a deal with E!. Wow, a lucrative, contract wedding. It's the thing every little girl dreams of. From In Touch Weekly:
In Touch has learned [Kourtney Kardashian] has selected Casa Aramara — the stunning estate on the outskirts of Puerta Vallarta, owned by Kardashian pal Joe Francis — as the venue for her wedding to Scott [Disick]. "Her family has been friends with Joe or so long," the friend adds. "Kourtney has always considered Joe's home a place where she can really relax."Wait, I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. This time, a Kardashian will have an elegant, classy wedding that will make William and Kate's look like a German shizer film. Aw shit, who am I kidding? The Kardashians would probably star in a German shizer film if you payed them enough, so don't expect a subtle event from this pack of savages. I will tell you that I can't wait to hear Kourtney's wedding vows. It will be only the third time in the history of the world that the words "ass to mouth" will be spoken in a wedding. The first two times of course were said for both of Kim's sham marriages. Khloe choked when it was her turn, In my humble opinion
Of course, Kourtney's reasons for marrying Scott, 28, aren't entirely romantic. "They signed a $1 million deal with E! to get married on TV," an insider reveals to In Touch, who adds that the couple will be announcing their engagement "in an orchestrated, well-publicized manner" to ensure they get as many viewers as possible. Both ambitious, the pair is excited to be raking in this type of money — and that's doing a lot to alleviate the stress between them.
*17 Kourtney Kardashian pictures total in the gallery: