Remember the joke I made on Monday about getting Kid Rock and Tommy Lee into a ring? Apparently someone was paying attention. From the New York Post:
Vegas lounge impresario Jeff Beacher wants to settle the score between Tommy Lee and Kid Rock once and for all - with a winner-take-all $1 million boxing match between Pamela Anderson's exes. After the two clashed at the MTV's Video Music Awards, Beacher decided the time has come for them to lace on the gloves. "We all know that they are fighting over Pam Anderson," said Beacher. "What better way to settle their differences then to slug it out in the ring!" (Source)
There's no way this fight gets off the ground. The Nevada Athletic Commission has a strict rule against more than ten STDs in the ring at one time. It's why Paris couldn't do that Celebrity Boxing show on Fox a few years ago. Besides, if I actually wanted to watch a fight between two whiny bitches, I'd start paying attention to the Rosie/Trump feud.
NOTE: This has nothing to do with this post but check out the kind of ass Tommy Lee was pulling at Coachella a few months ago (pic here and here). For the sake of her modeling career, that chick should think about getting implants.
For those of you that watched the VMAs last night, remember the joke Jamie Foxx made about Tommy Lee and Kid Rock getting into a fight ("stop all this white-on-white crime")? Well that wasn't actually a joke. The two rockers were involved in a minor altercation in the middle of the audience during Alicia Keys' performance. While Kid was allowed to stay at his seat, Tommy Lee was kicked out and later cited for misdemeanor battery by Las Vegas police. Rap producer Rich Nice told the Associated Press:
"It looked like Tommy Lee initiated it because Kid Rock was ignoring him. And Tommy Lee kind of antagonized him. And then when Tommy Lee stood up, it looked a little weird, like, 'Yo, what?' When Tommy stands up is when Kid hit him the first time with a backhand And then Tommy Lee looked like he was trying to get at him to aggressively retaliate and then Kid Rock hits Tommy Lee again—bong. And then security grabs Tommy Lee in a headlock and pulls him off." (Source)
Though Kid and Tommy are about as tough as Switzerland, we need to get these guys in a ring--fast. I can see it now, Michael Buffer at center stage, "And in this corner, weighing in at 75 pounds, The "Hep C Crusher", The "Tattooed Horny Dude", the "Ten Inch Tripod". . . TOMMY LEEEEEEEE! And in the other corner, weighing in at 315 pounds, The "Has Been Hacker", the "The Fug Mug", the "Beer Belly Basher". . . KIIIIIIIID ROCK! Noooooow let's get ready to Bitch Slaaaaaaap!" My prediction: 10 years from now we'll see one of these two (Kid Rock) fighting Dustin Diamond in FOX's Celebrity Boxing . . . my money's on Screech.
NOTE: The footage of the actual fight kinda sucks so I put up the above video of a dramatic reenactment, albeit a little bit more brutal.
Tommy Lee and Kid Rock getting into a fight ("stop all this white-on-white crime")? Well that wasn't actually a joke. The two rockers were involved in a minor altercation in the middle of the audience during Alicia Keys' performance. While Kid was allowed to stay at his seat, Tommy Lee was kicked out and later cited for misdemeanor battery by Las Vegas police. Rap producer Rich Nice told the Associated Press:
"It looked like Tommy Lee initiated it because Kid Rock was ignoring him. And Tommy Lee kind of antagonized him. And then when Tommy Lee stood up, it looked a little weird, like, 'Yo, what?' When Tommy stands up is when Kid hit him the first time with a backhand And then Tommy Lee looked like he was trying to get at him to aggressively retaliate and then Kid Rock hits Tommy Lee again—bong. And then security grabs Tommy Lee in a headlock and pulls him off." (Source)
Though Kid and Tommy are about as tough as Switzerland, we need to get these guys in a ring--fast. I can see it now, Michael Buffer at center stage, "And in this corner, weighing in at 75 pounds, The "Hep C Crusher", The "Tattooed Horny Dude", the "Ten Inch Tripod". . . TOMMY LEEEEEEEE! And in the other corner, weighing in at 315 pounds, The "Has Been Hacker", the "The Fug Mug", the "Beer Belly Basher". . . KIIIIIIIID ROCK! Noooooow let's get ready to Bitch Slaaaaaaap!" My prediction: 10 years from now we'll see one of these two (Kid Rock) fighting Dustin Diamond in FOX's Celebrity Boxing . . . my money's on Screech.
NOTE: The footage of the actual fight kinda sucks so I put up the above video of a dramatic reenactment, albeit a little bit more brutal.
Tommy Lee and Kid Rock getting into a fight ("stop all this white-on-white crime")? Well that wasn't actually a joke. The two rockers were involved in a minor altercation in the middle of the audience during Alicia Keys' performance. While Kid was allowed to stay at his seat, Tommy Lee was kicked out and later cited for misdemeanor battery by Las Vegas police. Rap producer Rich Nice told the Associated Press:
"It looked like Tommy Lee initiated it because Kid Rock was ignoring him. And Tommy Lee kind of antagonized him. And then when Tommy Lee stood up, it looked a little weird, like, 'Yo, what?' When Tommy stands up is when Kid hit him the first time with a backhand And then Tommy Lee looked like he was trying to get at him to aggressively retaliate and then Kid Rock hits Tommy Lee again—bong. And then security grabs Tommy Lee in a headlock and pulls him off." (Source)
Though Kid and Tommy are about as tough as Switzerland, we need to get these guys in a ring--fast. I can see it now, Michael Buffer at center stage, "And in this corner, weighing in at 75 pounds, The "Hep C Crusher", The "Tattooed Horny Dude", the "Ten Inch Tripod". . . TOMMY LEEEEEEEE! And in the other corner, weighing in at 315 pounds, The "Has Been Hacker", the "The Fug Mug", the "Beer Belly Basher". . . KIIIIIIIID ROCK! Noooooow let's get ready to Bitch Slaaaaaaap!" My prediction: 10 years from now we'll see one of these two (Kid Rock) fighting Dustin Diamond in FOX's Celebrity Boxing . . . my money's on Screech.
NOTE: The footage of the actual fight kinda sucks so I put up the above video of a dramatic reenactment, albeit a little bit more brutal.
Did Kid Rock nail Paris Hilton over the weekend? The two were photographed partying together outside Paris' Malibu beach house on Saturday before disappearing inside for a "few hours." Later that night they were seen arm-in-arm at Bui Sushi in Malibu. When asked for a comment, Kid might have said: "Who doesn't love hanging out with Paris--She's so damn infectious! . . . No, literally, I had to get less shots the last time I went to Sierra Leone."
I just realize it's been like two months since I've posted a good Anna Nicole Smith anecdote. Kid Rock to the rescue! He told the May issue of Maxim about an encounter he had with Anna at last year's Kentucky Derby:
"I had my son with me, and she strolls in shooting a TV show, so I politely ask her 'Miss, we're just trying to have a good time, and you've got those fucking cameras rolling,' And she was like, 'Fuck you.' So I was like 'Fuck me? Fuck you. You're a fucking pig.' Then she gave my son 300 bucks. I didn't know about it until we got home 'cause he bought some Nintendo shit. I'm like, 'Where did you get the money?' He's like, 'That blond girl with the big boobs gave it to me.' " (Source)
This story is sending the wrong messages to the youth of America. 1. Typically, you're supposed to GIVE the blonde girl with the big boobs $300, not receive it. 2. When at the race track, put your money on Barbaro, not Super Mario. And 3. It is not acceptable to use the word "fuck" five times in one story. For Christ's sake, mix in a "shit" or an "asshole" occasionally.
Rocker Tommy Lee ran into Kid Rock's Danish girlfriend, model May Anderson, at the Victoria's Secret party at Tao Beach in Las Vegas last week. And being the great guy that he is, he tried to hook up with her. According to one onlooker:
"He was desperately trying to talk to May. Tommy even sent members of his entourage over to ask her to join him at his table."
Our source said the leggy lass refused his advances and instead opted for the polite conversation of Heidi Klum and Karolina Kurkova. (Source)
I know Tommy is still pissed about Kid marrying his ex-wife Pam Anderson but c'mon, trying to steal his girlfriend? That's a rookie move. I've always lived by the creed that "living well is the best revenge." Well that and signing up the person you hate for a shitload of magazine subscriptions. Superglueing their locks works, too. As well as kidnapping their daughter and faking her death. Ohh, that's the best!
Tommy Lee almost got his ass kicked by Kid Rock. Both were in Las Vegas celebrating the New Year when Kid heard some rumors that Tommy Lee and his 12” were hooking up with Pamela Anderson, Lee’s ex-wife and Kid’s soon-to-be ex-wife. The New York Post describes what happened next:
"So he went over at 6 a.m. with two bodyguards, and began kicking down what he thought was Tommy's door. Only it wasn't - and Kid found himself staring at some poor, startled family. He signed an autograph for them as security arrived, then bolted over to the Paradise strip club."
Bloodshed was avoided, but Lee - in Vegas to play The Joint with his band, Rock Star Supernova - should watch his back. "Tommy has been calling Kid Rock and taunting him about Pam, and Kid Rock was ready to kick some serious ass," a source said. Lee's rep told us, "Tommy is aware that this incident occurred, but wasn't at the time as he was staying on another floor."
Can you imagine being awaken in the middle of the night by an angry Kid Rock beating up your door? I wouldn’t know whether to laugh or...umm...laugh. Kid Rock and his 165 lbs don’t exactly inspire fear within me. According to the best available evidence, the only guy he could beat up is blind and confined to a wheelchair. Seriously, there’s this blind dude that lives right next me who got his ass kicked by Kid Rock at a gay bathhouse a few years ago. By the way, are any of you readers a lawyer? Would that gay bathhouse mention be considered libel or slander? I guess I’ll found out soon enough.
Pamela Anderson's friends claimed a few days ago that Kid's anger issues were the root cause of the divorce. Kid Rock's friends fired back yesterday, claiming that Kid and Pamela's marriage ended because Pam partied way too much, leaving Kid at home to tend to her children:
"Bob rearranged his life for Pamela," a Rock pal tells us. "He moved from Detroit - something he said he would never do - and moved his son to L.A. to be with her." But once Rock was in L.A., he found himself a single father to not only his son, Robert James Richie Jr., but to Anderson's two kids, Brandon and Dylan, as well. "Pamela would go out almost every night and end up at [photographer] David LaChapelle's studio," Rock's friend says. "Bob was home alone with the three kids."
As I mentioned last week before the divorce, these weren't like your normal claimed a few days ago that Kid's anger issues were the root cause of the divorce. Kid Rock's friends fired back yesterday, claiming that Kid and Pamela's marriage ended because Pam partied way too much, leaving Kid at home to tend to her children:
"Bob rearranged his life for Pamela," a Rock pal tells us. "He moved from Detroit - something he said he would never do - and moved his son to L.A. to be with her." But once Rock was in L.A., he found himself a single father to not only his son, Robert James Richie Jr., but to Anderson's two kids, Brandon and Dylan, as well. "Pamela would go out almost every night and end up at [photographer] David LaChapelle's studio," Rock's friend says. "Bob was home alone with the three kids."
As I mentioned last week before the divorce, these weren't like your normal Glamour Shot photos you get in the mall where you put on a whimsical cowboy hat and act all footloose and fancy free. Not unless Glamour Shots has a whore package they didn't tell me about. Pamela's own words:
“When I go to Hollywood, I start at the Chateau Marmont and then I usually end up naked in David LaChapelle’s studio taking crazy pictures. That’s usually a night for me. Four or five in the morning, lying across a car in David’s studio.”
A rep for Anderson claimed:
"There was an agreement there would be a post-nup, which was being negotiated up until they split. Pam is a wonderful mother, always there for her kids, and has only been to David's twice since she married. And unfortunately, she absolutely had a miscarriage and only found out she was pregnant a few days before."
So Pamela's rep is trying to say its okay Pam ended up naked in David LaChapelle's studio because it only happened twice. Damn, does this rep need any new clients because I could use someone who bullshits this well in my life. My wife could get pissed at me for the lipstick on my collar and the phone number in my pocket and all I'd have to say: "Hey bitch, talk to my rep, she'll be issuing a statement later." And then I'd tear a phonebook in half for emphasis.
According to Pamela Anderson’s "close pal," the reason Pam filed for divorce from Kid Rock (aka Bob Ritchie) is because of Kid's "male insecurity and major anger issues." What pushed Pam over the edge was when Ritchie blew up during a screening of Borat at Universal Studio chief Ron Meyer's house. In the movie, Sasha Baron Cohen, playing the part of Borat Sagdiyev, travels across the United States to propose marriage to Anderson:
Her friend tells Page Six, "Bob started screaming at Pam, saying she had humiliated herself and telling her, 'You're nothing but a whore! You're a slut! How could you do that movie?' - in front of everyone. It was very embarrassing. Pam thought he could have a sense of humor about the movie. She was in on the gag from the very beginning and loved doing the movie. And on the eve of what was supposed to be a very positive thing, he made it an awful night. Ever since that night, it has been icicles between them."
Hey Kid, YOUR WIFE WORE A BIKINI TO YOUR WEDDING. You can't get mad at her for acting slutty when that's the only reason she's famous (aside from her obvious skills as a thespian). Seriously, the argument begins and ends there. You don't see me getting mad at my wife because she always smells like tuna. It's what I expected when I married a fishmonger. Which is weird because I live in Nebraska.
Pamela Anderson's representative has confirmed that her client filed for divorce last week from Kid Rock (aka Bob Ritchie), but would not comment on why Pam chose to end the brief three month marriage (with those crazy kids, it really did feel like four months). Kid Rock's publicist didn't immediately return messages left by The Associated Press on Monday:
The relationship between Anderson, 39, and Ritchie, 35, has been a turbulent one since they became engaged in 2002. They broke up the following year, but later reunited and this summer embarked on a tour of wedding ceremonies. They were wed in late July near St. Tropez, France, and again at a courthouse in Beverly Hills, Calif., on Aug. 3. They tied the knot a third time in an Aug. 17 ceremony in Nashville, Tenn.
"Yes, it's true," Anderson wrote in a brief statement on her Web site. "Unfortunately impossible."
What the hell does "unfortunately impossible" even mean? It sounds like the type of answer I'd give to someone asking what are the chances of sleeping with Pamela Anderson and not catching hepatitis. God help us if Pam follows Britney's lead and starts hanging out with Paris Hilton. I believe the Japanese would refer to the three collectively as "Whorezilla."
I'm sure Pam's late night habit of letting men photograph her naked had nothing to do with the divorce. That was sarcasm by the way.
Pamela Anderson wears her old Baywatch swimming suit to turn on her husband Kid Rock:
Anderson was forced to ditch one of the famous red swimming suits after a fan tried to commit suicide in it a few years ago. And she enjoys wearing it while pretending to run in slow motion - just like during the opening credits of 1990s TV smash Baywatch. She says, "Only one. I lost one when a stalker broke into my house, put my suit on and cut her wrists. That was horrible. But I've used mine in romantic settings. You run in slow motion and give him mouth-to-mouth. It works."
Only Pamela Anderson could use a story about a suicidal stalker as a lead in to talk about how she give her husband, Kid Rock, an erection. Seamless, really. Something tells me that if Pam was telling you about the events of 9/11, she'd suddenly weave in an anecdote about the time she fit an entire tuba into her vagina on a bet. And it would seem completely normal. You'd be left wondering how a story could be so tragic yet strangely erotic at the same time.
Tommy Lee
Tommy Lee
