Katy Perry


Kelly Monaco at the 40th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards in Beverly Hills (6/16)

Raise your hand if you're shocked that John Mayer cheated on Katy Perry? Okay . . . that makes zero hands. A source tells Perez Hilton that John was banging Kelly Monaco pretty much the whole time he was dating Katy Perry:
"[John and Kelly] hooked up immediately. She was open to the things that John's into, like sexy toys, tying each other up and threesomes. He couldn't get enough. Kelly was still on his mind. He would text her and try and get her to meet him either at his place in L.A. or a hotel out in the Valley ... Katy found texts on his phone. She was devastated and realized he's a sex fiend who isn't capable of telling the truth."
For wanting to settle down in life, Katy's last two relationships have been with the biggest poonhounds in Hollywood: Russell Brand and John Mayer. Gee, it's almost like she likes all this drama in her life. Don't be surprised if her next boyfriend is the dude from Sister Wives.

*10 Kelly Monaco pictures total in the gallery:

  • John Mayer Kelly Monaco 1
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Katy Perry out and about in Sydney, Australia (3/5)

Katy Perry dumped John Mayer, not because he cheated, but because she was worried he'd cheat. Oh, I'm sure she'll get over that paranoia with the next famous guy she dates. Because women are very rational. From In Touch Weekly:
"She always thinks John is either going to cheat or is cheating," the source explains.

And her fears might not have been so far-fetched. Now, sources confirm exclusively to In Touch that John got cozy with 24-year-old spin instructor Lauren McHale last spring during a brief break with Katy ... For Katy, her uncertainty was enough to call things off, says the first source.  

"She'd rather have kept dating, but he wanted to marry her. He pressured her. He gave her a ring and made the relationship more serious, which scared her because of his past."
Boy, Katy isn't the most perceptive person in the world. Did Titties O'Plenty really believe that all of the star-fuckers were gonna hop off the Mayer train just because she came aboard? John Mayer isn't particularly talented or handsome, but he'll continue to be the self-appointed  "Gynecologist to the Stars" as long as women's taste in music continue to be shitty. My advice to Katy? Buy and memorize Metallica's And Justice for All, lower your expectations, and start returning my emails. I'll never cheat on you . . . assuming Sofia Vergara's amazing rack never comes a-knocking.

*10 Katy Perry pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katy Perry Fed Up 1
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Katy Perry kicks John Mayer out

A few days after Katy Perry dumped John Mayer, a moving truck was spotted outside her home in the Hollywood Hills. Ouch, she doesn't waste any time. This is the celebrity equivalent of throwing all his shit on the lawn. I just hope a famous, attractive, rich musician like John can somehow find a way back on his feet.

*7 Katy Perry pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katy Perry Movie Out 1
  • Katy Perry Movie Out 2
  • Katy Perry Movie Out 3
  • Katy Perry Movie Out 4
  • Katy Perry Movie Out 5

Katy Perry in better days

Katy Perry and John Mayer are no more. Despite blowing cash on strippers like all couples in love do, E! is claiming that the two split up earlier this week. And they have no quotes or evidence whatsoever, so you can take this news to the bank.
A source close to the pair exclusively tells E! News that Perry broke up with Mayer within the last few days. No other details about what prompted the "Dark Horse" singer's decision were forthcoming, but Mayer was noticeably absent from Perry's side on her recent trip to London and Milan. She returned home to Los Angeles on Friday.
This is definitely good news. Why? Because Katy Perry used to look like that. She used to wear tight rubber dresses. She used to push her tits out. She used to tickle that little spot on my back to wake me up in the morning. In other words, she used to be fun. And then John Mayer came along and she turned into an ankle-skirt-wearing Mennonite. Find someone else to churn your butter, John. Katy belongs to us.

*20 Katy Perry pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katy Perry Another Break Up 1
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Miley Cyrus performing at The Staples Center in L.A. (2/22)

Been trying to avoid posting pictures from Miley Cyrus' annoying Bangerz concert tour, but she forced my hand today by kissing Katy Perry on Saturday at the Staples Center. Gross. Of course Katy had to be burned shortly after the concert. A real tragedy for all involved.

*25 Miley Cyrus pictures total in the gallery:

  • Miley Cyrus Katy Perry Kiss 1
  • Miley Cyrus Katy Perry Kiss 2
  • Miley Cyrus Katy Perry Kiss 3
  • Miley Cyrus Katy Perry Kiss 4
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Katy Perry

Katy Perry arriving to the Elle Style Awards at One Embankment in London (2/18)

*30 Katy Perry pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katy Perry Elle Boobs 1
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Katy Perry arriving at a meeting in West Hollywood (2/8)

We'll kick off the week with Katy Perry sportin' a nice wedgie in her big girl panties. Be sure to keep checking back in periodically to see if she's picked it yet . . . ***SPOILER ALERT*** . . . she hasn't yet. Sucks.

*10 Katy Perry pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katy Perry Wedgie 1
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Katy Perry makes it rain at strip club

Katy Perry didn't just go to a strip club after the Super Bowl on Sunday, she enthusiastically went to a strip club after the Super Bowl on Sunday. Now that's the Katy Perry I fell in love with. From TMZ:
Katy Perry tipped a girl and she liked it -- then she tipped more -- dropping STACKS on hot strippers after the Super Bowl Sunday night ... and to make it even more awesome, her BF John Mayer was there too.

We're told Katy and John stopped by Spearmint Rhino in Santa Barbara around 11pm Sunday night after the Seahawks devastated the Broncos. We're told Katy and John spent in the thousands, tipping the girls BIG and getting multiple private dances. Katy even took photos with the girls.
Ladies, this is how you keep a man. Does Katy really want to enable those strippers' coke-whoring ways? Of course not, but keeping John and his pelvis driller happy is far more important than inspiring women to be more than a bouncing set of glittery tits. This is why Jennifer Aniston and Taylor Swift won't ever be happy -- they're too worried about being role models and what not. Katy tried to strap those melons down, but has since reversed course after losing 100,000 followers on Twitter. Now that's a girl who knows what's good for her. And what's good for her? Why, John Mayer's throat stretcher, of course.

*10 Katy Perry pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katy Perry Spearmint Rhino 1
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Katy Perry at the Universal Music Group Post Grammy Party in L.A. (1/26)

So last night's Grammy Awards were pretty damn boring. No one wore anything crazy, there were no wardrobe malfunctions, no nipples, no breasts, no asses, no fights, nothing. Katy Perry dressed conservatively at the show and didn't bust out the sweater puppies until the Universal afterparty. It was an all-around huge disappointment worsened by the fact that the American Music Awards are 10 months away. If the Grammys are the conservative girl at your high school who always wears long skirts, the AMAs are the cheerleader who will jerk you off in the bathroom at lunchtime to win a bet. Can't wait!

*31 Katy Perry pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katy Perry Boring Grammys 1
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Katy Perry on the cover of GQ

After what seemed like months of unsexy sweater wearing and downplaying her sexuality, Katy Perry finally remembers she has breasts in the February issue of GQ. And those breasts are all because of God. Fuck world peace -- Katy prayed for big ol' titties:
"I lay on my back one night and looked down at my feet, and I prayed to God. I said, God, will you please let me have boobs so big that I can't see my feet when I'm lying down?" At age 11, "God answered my prayers," she said, glancing south. "I had no clue they would fall into my armpits eventually."
I don't consider myself too religious, but I'll be dammed if I'm not going to church this Sunday. I had no idea God was so benevolent. Why don't you talk about this more, Christians?!? God is fucking bad ass!

Katy also talks about losing her virginity at 16:
She lost her virginity at 16 in the front seat of a Volvo sedan while listening to Jeff Buckley's album Grace.  "Love that record so much."
Katy lost her virginity in a Volvo? Talk about safe sex . . . *rimshot*

*10 Katy Perry pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katy Perry GQ Breasts 1
  • Katy Perry GQ Breasts 2
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Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: