Katie Holmes


Katie Holmes bikini pics! (Miami - 1/1)

Here's Katie Holmes wearing a bikini top in Miami yesterday. She never took off her jorts because, fucking jorts man. You don't wear jorts. They wear you.

*30 Katie Holmes bikini pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katie Holmes Bikini Top 1
  • Katie Holmes Bikini Top 2
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Katie Holmes bikini pics! (Miami - 12/30)

That's Katie Holmes in Miami yesterday. Suri's with her, too, but went swimming a few minutes ago. Which is weird because she doesn't know how to swim . . . SURI!

*37 Katie Holmes bikini pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katie Holmes Pink Bikini 1
  • Katie Holmes Pink Bikini 2
  • Katie Holmes Pink Bikini 3
  • Katie Holmes Pink Bikini 4
  • Katie Holmes Pink Bikini 5
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Katie Holmes out and about in New York (10/13)

Tom Cruise's ex-wives Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes are apparently friends now. Sweet. Yeah, I guess Katie wanted to be friends with Nicole during her marriage to Tom, but it just wasn't feasible because of her curfew. From Starpulse:
Nicole Kidman has become friends with Katie Holmes. The actresses - both ex-wives of Hollywood star Tom Cruise - have reportedly been in contact by phone and enjoy gossiping with each other about their families and careers.

A source told the National Enquirer: "[They had] a really nice conversation. They talked a little about what it was like being married to Tom and have stayed in touch ever since. They haven't discussed intimate issues like sex, and mostly chit chat about their kids and what's going on in their lives."
I'm calling bullshit on the source's version of this conversation. Ten bucks says Nicole and Katie were talking about Tom's dick 30 seconds after the initial "hello." And why wouldn't they? Two divorcees shitting on their former better half is as American as apple pie and a lack of health insurance. Look, it's all good for the Messiah because, for every 90-minute bitch session Nicky and Katy share over helpings of commiseration cheesecake, Tom's penis gains an inch. Xenu hath foretold it.

*5 Katie Holmes pictures total in the gallery:

  • Nicole Kidman Katie Holmes 1
  • Nicole Kidman Katie Holmes 2
  • Nicole Kidman Katie Holmes 3
  • Nicole Kidman Katie Holmes 4
  • Nicole Kidman Katie Holmes 5

Katie Holmes leaving ABC Studios in New York (10/9)

Even though he denied it to ETonline ("[The rumors] are one hundred percent not true. In fact, it's quite hilarious because we simply danced at a charity event along with a lot of other people." ), In Touch Weekly claims that Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes have been secretly dating for a while.
"Katie and Jamie have been dating for a while," an insider reveals to In Touch, adding that Jamie has secretly been spending time at Katie's apartment. "They're very Mission: Impossible about their romance."

A second source confirms to In Touch that one early morning in mid-September, a driver pulled in front of the Trump Soho Hotel, prepared to take Jamie to the set of his new flick Annie -- but was surprised when Katie stepped into the limo instead. "A hotel employee confirmed that Katie had stayed at the hotel with Jamie and that she was taking his car," the second source reveals. "So the driver drove her home to her Chelsea apartment."
If true, this is pretty remarkable for Katie. You couldn't find more of a polar opposite to Tom Cruise than Jamie Foxx. For example: he's black he doesn't think girls have cooties, he's Catholic his master bedroom only has one bed instead of two like on I Love Lucy, and he's won an Academy Award he doesn't subscribe to Men's Health for the pictures. He couldn't be more different!

*20 Katie Holmes pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katie Holmes Jamie Foxx 1
  • Katie Holmes Jamie Foxx 2
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Katie Holmes and Luke Kirby filming Mania Days in New York (5/14)

Katie Holmes is getting pretty close to her Mania Days co-star Luke Kirby, and Tom Cruise is not too happy about. Oh, I'm confused. Is he still married to her? From the National Enquirer:
The hot-to-trot single mom didn't hold back while filming sexually charged scenes with her "Mania Days" leading man Luke Kirby in New York recently.

"Katie put real passion into those kisses - you wouldn't have known they were scripted," said an eyewitness. She looked like she was in the throes of ecstasy. She loved every minute of it, and it's as if she was shoving it in Tom's face!"

Sources say the explicit poses sent Tom into a tizzy!

"He's fit to be tied," said an insider close to Cruise, 50. "This stuff is almost X-rated. He's also angry that Katie never showed that same kind of passion or public displays of affection with him ... Word quickly got back to Katie that Tom was upset over the photos of the sexy scenes, but she doesn't care anymore. She's showing him that he can no longer control her life. They share a child - that's all."
"...and this belongs to me..." - O.J. Simpson to Nicole Brown Simpson (while grabbing her crotch in a crowded bar, late '80s)

Awkward. Is this how Lord of the Multiverse Tom Cruise plans to control the ex, with public sniping and Colombian Neckties? I'd keep my head on a swivel if I were Katie and her fuckstick-of-the-month, Luke Kirby. Don't laugh, height-challenged guys like lil' Tommy are an angry bunch who take no prisoners. Micromanagers such as Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte and NYC Mayor Mike "The Nanny" Bloomberg are just two guys who make up for their shortcomings by being total cunts. Tom is cut from the same cloth (though a much smaller piece). Tom will undoubtedly use all of his Scientology powers to eat Katie's soul, and if that doesn't work, he'll just do what every Hollywood bully does and spread a rumor that she fucked Pauly Shore.

*30 Katie Holmes and Luke Kirby pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katie Holmes Luke Kirby 1
  • Katie Holmes Luke Kirby 2
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Paparazzi photos from Tuesday, May 21

Katie Holmes filming Mania Days in New York (pics start here)

Lana Del Rey leaving her show at The Hammersmith Apollo in London (pics start here)

Kelly Brook leaving London Studios (pics start here)

Tiger Woods and his girlfriend Lindsey Vonn dropping his kids off at school in Palm Beach (pics start here)

Justin Bartha and his fiance Lia Smith arriving for a flight at LAX airport (pics start here)

Elizabeth Berkley leaving Urth Cafe in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

Gywneth Paltrow leaving a Goop event at Mark's Club in London (pics start here)

Bai Ling out and about during the Cannes Film Festival (pics start here)

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley arriving for a flight at Gatwick airport in London (pics start here)

Isla Fisher at ther premiere of Now You See Me in New York (pics start here)

Selena Gomez arriving on a flight at Heathrow Airport in London (pics start here)

Halle Berry leaving CVS in Beverly Hills (pics start here)

*116 paparazzi pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katie Holmes All Wet 1
  • Katie Holmes All Wet 2
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Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise arriving at the Music Box Theatre in New York (1/2)

Apparently Tom Cruise is so worried about Suri Cruise being kidnapped that he's hired a body double for her as a protective measure. Suri's basically now a mini version of Saddam Hussein, you know, except she doesn't use rape as a tool of intimidation. OR DOES SHE? Actually, no. From the New York Daily News:
The News spotted Suri's alleged double as recently as Friday afternoon, after her mom, actress Katie Holmes, picked her up from her Manhattan school and they returned to their Chelsea home. The identity of Suri's alleged double wasn't immediately known and it's not clear if her duties extend to being TomKat's daughter's playmate. But the little imposter is apparently friendly with Holmes, who was photographed talking to her a month earlier.

"Tom wants the names of all the parents of the kids Suri plays with," said a source close to Holmes. "He has to approve them before Suri can go to their houses or apartments alone. He has them investigated and he keeps a file on everyone. He is very cautious when it comes to her."

For reasons unclear, Cruise has stepped up security around Suri in recent months and has met with risk assessment teams and kidnapping specialists, sources said.
Wow, this is pretty fucked up. Does the mother of the young decoy know that her daughter is there in case a sniper gets lazy? I bet she understands now why Tom and Katie gave Suri's little playmate so many shirts and hats with bulls-eyes on them. There hasn't been a mother so willing to destroy her children for the sake of money ever since Kris Jenner woke up this morning. "Psssst, Kim Kardashian authentic report card from the second grade . . .  a thousand bucks and it's yours."

*15 Katie Holmes pictures total in the gallery:

  • Suri Cruise Body Double 1
  • Suri Cruise Body Double 2
  • Suri Cruise Body Double 3
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Katie Holmes arriving to the opening night performance of The Other Side in New York (1/10)

If you were thinking of making out with Katie Holmes, give it a week.

*30 Katie Holmes pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katie Holmes Herpes Lips 1
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Katie Holmes out and about in New York (12/30)

According to The Sun, Katie Holmes has been secretly dating Jake Gyllenhall for the past few weeks. If he's a hopeless romantic like me, he's probably already taken her to Olive Garden, like, twice. A source told the tabloid:
"[Katie's ex Joshua Jackson] has been the mastermind behind this romance. Katie says that they have tons in common and Jake has already been to see her in Dead Accounts, plus she has been over to his apartment in the West Village for dinner."
Wise move by Jake catching Katie on the rebound and moving right into Tom Cruise's old space (the separate bedroom down the hall with the single bed), if you catch my drift. In fact, I'm sure Jake reminds Katie a lot of Tom, hint hint. Lotta vacant closet space for someone like Jake in Katie's New York apartment, if you know what I'm saying. I'm sure a "bachelor" like Jake cou-COCK. HE LIKES COCK.

*25 Katie Holmes pictures total in the gallery:

  • Katie Holmes Jake Gyllenhaal Dating 1
  • Katie Holmes Jake Gyllenhaal Dating 2
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Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise in New York (11/12)

Separated parents trying to buy a child's love. There's nothing more special around the holidays. From The Sun:
Her mum Katie Holmes has spent more than $48,000 on presents for the youngster, who this year watched Katie and her dad Tom Cruise go through a messy break-up. Suri's biggest present is a Victorian playhouse costing almost $24,000. The small building, which will be set up in the family garden, includes running water and electricity. It's a step up from a homemade treehouse, but probably not as fun. Suri's pressie haul also includes an iPad mini, a $9,600 kids' version of a Mercedes, a Ralph Lauren dress and a Chloe fur coat.
Suffering shitballs on a saltine cracker, can I get on Katie's secret Santa list next year if the Scientology goons don't rub her out? That money sure goes a long way when it's Lord Tom Cruise who earns it, doesn't it? Hell, forget about Suri, you can buy my love for a lot less than $48k. $35k and a handjob every now and again is more than enough to get an "I love you, mommy" out of me this Christmas.

*10 Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise pictures total in the gallery:

  • Suri Cruise Christmas Gifts 1
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Would You Rather?

Would You Rather...? Spend one night with: