Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes leaving their New York apartment (8/24)
Sorry Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, but I think it’s pretty obvious that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have the “Sexiest Couple Alive” title locked up this year.
Katie Holmes looks pregnant
I know what you’re thinking: “Katie Holmes looks way pregnant — no way she can keep role-playing the part of manly wide receiver to Tom’s submissive quarterback — this is gonna absolutely destroy their sex life.” That’s why God invented trucker hats my friends. Katie plays the role of Frank, the overweight long-haul trucker . . . whose always wanted to fuck a dude. Tom plays the role of Steve, the overworked small-town mechanic . . . whose always wanted to fuck a dude. When his truck’s radiator explodes just outside Steve’s garage, heat will be coming from more than just Frank’s engine.
NOTE: 10 more Katie Holmes pics on PAGE 2 (CLICK HERE)
Katie Holmes in Greenwich Village, NYC (8/5)
“Hi, I’m Chuck and I’ll be painting your house today.”
[BauerGriffinOnline, Flynet]
Katie Holmes on the set of Eli Stone (7/18)
With the new hairstyle she debuted late last week, Katie Holmes’ transformation from rising young actress with bright future to contract wife blurring the boundaries between male and female is pretty much complete. If you could see Tom Cruise right now, he’s high-fiving himself in a mirror. The next step in his plan? Convincing her that “Chuck” is a completely normal nickname for “Katie.”
[WENN]
Uh oh, someone needs to charge Katiebot’s batteries
Offered a role in an upcoming Broadway play, Katie Holmes wants to move to New York City with daughter Suri. Unsurprisingly, Tom Cruise wants no part of it. A source told the Star magazine:
“[Katie] desperately needs to be on her own for a while, but there’s no way Tom is going to let her take Suri away. There’s no way he’ll allow it. He just doesn’t want Katie — or Suri — out of his sight for long. He told her that if she goes to New York, fine, but he goes with her. Tom wants to call all the shots when it comes to Suri. He has a lot of rules, and there’s conflict.” (Source)
Of course there’s conflict — like when Katie wears her Bret Favre jersey to bed. “Dammit Katie, you know I like you to sleep in the Beckham jersey!”
[Splash News]
Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes in Paris (1/2007)
Tom Cruise is worried that Victoria Beckham is influencing Katie Holmes in a negative way. He wants his wife to ditch her new friend. A source told the Daily Mail:
“Katie sees Victoria as a role model. She copies Victoria’s look and even cut her hair the same way. [Katie] is very thin largely because she is following Victoria’s strict 900-calories-a-day eating plan. She is copying Victoria’s fad of neating seaweed shakes, frozen grapes and edamame beans. She is tiny.” (Source)
If Katie really wants to be like Posh, all she has to do is spend a few weeks in a tanning bed, be sure to only wear her sunglasses at night, and convince herself that her husband and the pool boy are just friends that like to hug that way . . . and by “hug” I mean felate. So considering who she’s married to, she really only needs to start working on the first two.
Katie Holmes has boyish good looks
Katie Holmes just cut her hair and apparently it’s big news. Us Weekly says:
Katie Holmes debuted a pageboy cut at Pizzeria Mozza in L.A. Monday night. The actress, who was voted one of Us’ top makeovers of 2007 after she chopped her locks last year, picked up a few pies and headed back home. Tom Cruise and daughter Suri were not with her.
Could the new cropped cut be for a role? Holmes’ rep confirmed to Usmagazine.com that “she is in discussions” to join the Broadway revival of All My Sons. (Source)
Pageboy? All My Sons? No need to tap dance around it: Katie looks like a boy. She’s probably on her way to the store to buy some comic books and baseball cards.
NOTE: I’d bet my life that 2879 of these votes can be traced back to Tom Cruise’s office
Katie Holmes is pregnant?
OK! magazine is claiming that Katie Holmes is pregnant. Their evidence? A “slight” bulge in her stomach Katie displayed at the Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards (Katie shut out again!) a few weeks ago. An eyewitness told the magazine:
“She has that special glow that only pregnant women have. I would say there is a strong possibility that she’s pregnant.” (Source)
Uh, OK. Apparently medicine has taken a step back to the 1100s. They might as well have used last week’s lunar eclipse as evidence. Clearly Artemis was trying to send us a message
Katie Holmes
Katie Holmes at the premiere of Mad Money in Westwood (1/9)
Tom’s favorite look
I could totally see Tom Cruise in the background of this interview, gritting his teeth, “shut up katie, shut uuuup.” Regarding her diminutive husband, Katie told the January issue of In Style:
“Tom likes me in a suit and a mini every now and then. I like it when he likes it. It makes me blush. He’ll say, ‘You look good. I hope security’s going with you.’ Now that gives me attitude.” (Source)
I’ve got news for you Katie, you’re not the only one Tom likes in a suit–you’re just the only one with “woman parts”. Later in the interview Katie revealed the other outfits that drive Tom crazy include “sweaty football player,” “burly construction worker,” and “David Beckham”. She later casually mentioned that Tom wants her to stop going to the spa so her lip-hair can finally grow out long enough to be shaped into a handlebar mustache.
Tom’s second favorite look
PICS: Tom and Katie in Miami for the Super Bowl (2/3/07):
INVITEN QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HERMOSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
